(Untitled)

[buio_omega]

solemn, the spirits
search between the silent breeze
for lost love - alone.

The very rough fragment of an epic poem made up of Haiku Crowns that I might be working on in my spare time. a start to something to take up my time. Any feedback if anyone reads is more than welcome. I;ll keep posting, hopefully.

Comments

[buio_omega]

I hate the word 'love' though so I'm going to toss it out here, because it seems so cliche, i mean come on, how many times to people have to write about spirits searching for their lost love, cripes man.

[bewarethejabb]

an epic poem made up entirely of haiku... sounds like a great idea

[buio_omega]

it'd be challenging. All I need to do is throw in all the more traditional elements of an epic, that shouldn't be a problem, right? (hahaha) I'm shooting for around 15 - 20 crowns but we'll see ...

what about...

[broodmood]

perhaps lost hate instead of lost love? it would turn around the entire concept of the poem...

although, i don't think it is at all cliche the way you have it written now.

--m

Re: what about...

[broodmood]

see they are solemn because they have lost the fire and passion of their hate...

just a thought.

[buio_omega]

solemn spirits search
between whispers - finding hate
lonely, forgotten.