[Voice/Private]goldenglassesJuly 12 2011, 00:50:25 UTC
[Oh. Ouch. Vash remembers having to make a post much like this a few months ago.]
I know it's hard, but try not to beat yourself up too much. The people here will understand. It's the Malnosso to blame, not you. All those people you hurt [And killed] it was really them, not you.
[Voice/Private]bullet_danceJuly 12 2011, 04:38:07 UTC
Vash...
[...she honestly wants to believe that, but deep down, she knows that's not entirely accurate.]
...I'm sorry, Vash, but I don't think I can entirely put the blame on the Malnosso for this. I know it was them who turned me into that, but... the person who was running around and hurting everyone -- it was still me.
[Voice/Private]goldenglassesJuly 12 2011, 21:19:21 UTC
I know how you feel. I said the same thing too when they had changed me into thinking I had to kill everyone. [Only he had gotten lucky enough to be stopped before he had killed anymore.]
But we have to remember, that it wasn't. It might have been our bodies, but it wasn't us. We weren't at the controls. We weren't making the decisions. It wasn't us. [You're not alone.]
[Voice/Private]bullet_danceJuly 12 2011, 22:46:48 UTC
[...what?]
I-I had no idea-- you-- [The same thing happened to him. Maybe not the same thing to a tee, but basically the same thing.]
... Vash...
[So, then... they had been in the same shoes at one point or another. Realizing this, the entire conversation? Just flipped around.]
... I'm sorry. [Perhaps not what he was looking for, but it was something. Noel felt guilty. She felt horrible for Vash -- if the pain she felt over hurting people was this bad, how did he feel when he did the same?]
[Voice/Private]bullet_danceJuly 13 2011, 04:13:50 UTC
... I'm sorry, I-- [dammit]
I wish... I could think like that. I want to, but... whenever I think about what I did when I was like that... I feel like I can't. [Maybe it's because Vash is strong, and she's... not. Really.]
[Voice/Private]goldenglassesJuly 14 2011, 15:59:44 UTC
[Vash is quiet for a bit. Gathering his thoughts, because he knew what you were going through was worse, but he still wanted to help.]
Well, at first I didn't think I would be able to. But my friends helped me get me through it. Also, I remembered that all of our futures are blank, and if we want, all mistakes can be fixed if we keep living. We can learn from them. Between my friends reminding me that it wasn't really me and that if I really tired I could make up for the mistakes that I made while they had changed me.
I know it's hard, but try not to beat yourself up too much. The people here will understand. It's the Malnosso to blame, not you. All those people you hurt [And killed] it was really them, not you.
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[...she honestly wants to believe that, but deep down, she knows that's not entirely accurate.]
...I'm sorry, Vash, but I don't think I can entirely put the blame on the Malnosso for this. I know it was them who turned me into that, but... the person who was running around and hurting everyone -- it was still me.
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But we have to remember, that it wasn't. It might have been our bodies, but it wasn't us. We weren't at the controls. We weren't making the decisions. It wasn't us. [You're not alone.]
Your friends understand that.
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I-I had no idea-- you-- [The same thing happened to him. Maybe not the same thing to a tee, but basically the same thing.]
... Vash...
[So, then... they had been in the same shoes at one point or another. Realizing this, the entire conversation? Just flipped around.]
... I'm sorry. [Perhaps not what he was looking for, but it was something. Noel felt guilty. She felt horrible for Vash -- if the pain she felt over hurting people was this bad, how did he feel when he did the same?]
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It wasn't me. Just like it wasn't you.
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I wish... I could think like that. I want to, but... whenever I think about what I did when I was like that... I feel like I can't. [Maybe it's because Vash is strong, and she's... not. Really.]
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Except maybe.]
Don't let it stop you from living your life. This was a mistake. An awful mistake, but all mistakes are able to be fixed if you're willing.
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I-If it's okay, can I ask you something?
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How did you cope with it? What you-- [no] --what the Malnosso made you do.
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Well, at first I didn't think I would be able to. But my friends helped me get me through it. Also, I remembered that all of our futures are blank, and if we want, all mistakes can be fixed if we keep living. We can learn from them. Between my friends reminding me that it wasn't really me and that if I really tired I could make up for the mistakes that I made while they had changed me.
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But what really stuck out for her was the mention of a blank future. How everything could be fixed if they keep moving on.
A blank future... in a place like Noel's world, does that concept even exist?]
We have to make the best of things, then... right? Even when the going gets rough...
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