but I think I've finally found a crazy idea that is crazy enough to be okay.

It involves Spain, and living there during what would have otherwise been my final year of college.

It also involves me calling up the person who has offered me a job post-graduation, and.. umm... retracting my acceptance of said job?

like I said, crazy.

also.

As much as I know it hurts them, the tiny, selfish part of me knows that finally now my babies might understand. This was not how they were supposed to find out -- not through bathroom doors closed tight or through I-have-something-to-tell-you text messages or through the whimpers of their broken little sister. My babies' poor little muscles ( Read more... )

sometimes things get very overwhelming, and family comes crashing down on you and, when put into perspective, you realize how juvenile most things are.

& it makes you wish you hadn't come home right at this precise time.

until you realize that you're an essential piece of this, and your absence would be detrimental.

( Read more... )

sometimes life is not quite what I expected it would be, and that is okay so long as I am living.

it is time for new ideas. enough of this.

All the R.L. Stein Bullshit I Sometimes Pretend to Like

The girl who wakes up rustically smokes the same brand of cigarettes that you always did, and even though it’s over and I’m here and I’m grown, I still taste it and wince and think of two otters holding hands.

I am so busy being caught up in this fucked up fantasy of my freshman year of real ( Read more... )

sometimes I have obnoxious moments where I blow (literally) hundreds of dollars to do something outrageously and irresponsibly spontaneous. sometimes I stand outside in the middle of the coldest day all year and just stand so still so still sooo still until I can't feel my hands anymore and until I've convinced myself the (raging, horrifying, ( Read more... )

“Hi Krisi ( Read more... )

"you know how in the movie 'For Love of the Game' Kevin Costner's character is fucking around in the ninth inning, and everyone is booing him and he says to himself, 'what're you doing? you're stalling. you're stalling, and everyone knows it. Just do it, stop stalling.' Well I guess that's what I'm doing right now. I'm stalling. And really... well ( Read more... )

Something keeps drawing me back here lately ( Read more... )