Ficlet | Superhero or Not
Title: Superhero or Not
Author: attilatehbun
Fandom: Young Avengers
Pairing/Characters: Kate Bishop, Billy Kaplan, Teddy Altman, Eli Bradley, Tommy Shepherd
Rating: PG
Word Count: <900
Author's Notes: Uhhhhhhhhh. This art ----> This icon ----> This conversation === This ficlet. WHATEVER, THIS FANDOM NEEDS MOAR CRACK, ANYWAY
::
"All I wanted you to do was remove the hat," Kate bites out, proud that she's been able to fight down the urge to scream. She's not worried, though; she's sure the screaming will be along shortly.
"I'd like to see you try to accurately aim at a speedster, Kate," Billy says, and if Kate wasn't already pretty positive that sarcasm was just Billy's default manner of response, she would be now, because despite his tone, his face is frozen in a completely expected mask of shock touched with just a hint of horror. After all, he did just turn his brother into a kitten.
And yes, she did just think that, and she's going to have to say it out loud in just a minute, and she can already feel the headache building behind her eyes. She wills her hands to stay at her sides instead of going to her temples or her bow, as they so clearly want to do, because yes, she did choose this insanity, she reminds herself.
Sometimes it's hard to remember why.
"I just-- a kitten?" she says, because it's honestly all she can manage right now, short of strangling Billy, or Tommy, or better yet, both. And she's pretty sure she'll need Billy, eventually, to put things right, and she's not quite at the point where violence against kittens seems okay.
Give her at least an hour.
"It was an accident," Billy says, and he's at least sheepish about it.
Teddy, bless his stupidly misguided by well-intentioned heart, tries to salvage something of the situation. He bends and scoops up the tiny white ball of fluff and the damn hat that started the whole mess. "It could be worse," he says, tossing the hat to Kate, who catches it without even having to interrupt her glaring at Billy. "At least we got the hat away from him."
"Not really helping, Teddy," Eli says, and Kate almost chokes on her sudden laugh, because Eli and Tommy are glowering at each other the way they always do, and probably always will, because really, if spontaneous kittenhood doesn't change things, nothing probably ever will.
Teddy reaches out with one finger, hesitant, like he can't really help himself, and scratches Tommy behind one tiny ear. "You have to admit," Teddy says, "he's a lot easier to handle like this." Tommy responds by clambering up Teddy's tshirt, all awkward, stubby legs and jerky claws, to perch on Teddy's shoulder and headbutt him happily in the ear. "Maybe even nice," Teddy laughs, and Tommy looks almost smug at Billy's shocked, "Teddy!"
Tommy glances over at Billy then bumps his head deliberately against Teddy's jaw; Billy goes bright red in the face and starts muttering furiously under his breath. Kate catches brother and molesting and lemon juice before deciding she really doesn't want to hear any more.
Eli is staring at Tommy, still perched cockily on Teddy's shoulder: he tilts his head to one side, intent. "I will grant you, possibly," Eli says, mildly less annoy--" and before he can finish, Tommy turns, and in a flash that rivals his human self for speed, has reached out and clawed Eli's domino mask neatly off his face. Eli sputters, the mask is stuck on one of Tommy's minute claws and he shakes his paw furiously to dislodge it, the mask comes suddenly free and smacks Eli square in the nose, and Eli looks as if he's just crossed the line to where violence against kittens is completely right and natural. A perfectly normal order of business. Kate moves to step in, because, really, her headache is bad enough as it is.
"Enough," she says, and all the boys (and kittens) freeze in a way that would be really very funny if it were any other day than today. "Look, I'll just-- give him to me, Teddy."
Teddy mutely plucks Tommy from his shoulder and passes him into her outstretched hand. Kate leaves him dangling there, because clearly that is still Tommy Shepherd's brain in there, regardless of his form, and she is not letting him get any closer to her breasts than is strictly necessary. She watches him sag in disappointment, before he realizes that the hat is still in her other hand. His tiny body tenses, stretching vainly to reach it. Kate sighs and she doesn't even have a free hand to rub at her face with.
She turns to Billy. "Can you fix this?"
Billy startles. "Yeah, I'm--I think so. I might need a little time..." He trails off at the look on her face.
Kate sighs again. "Fine," she says. "All right. What should we do with him until Billy cleans up his mess?" Tommy is twisting desperately in her hand now, trying with all his fuzzy might to launch himself at the absurd hat she's still holding in her other hand.
"Maybe," Teddy says, blushing when she snaps her head up to glare at him. "Maybe we should just let him have the hat, Kate. Just for a little while," he finishes rapidly.
And for that, Kate blessedly has an answer. "No," she says. "No. I don't care; kitten, or superhero, or even kitten-superhero, he simply cannot get away with stealing Aretha Franklin's hat!"
::fin::
Author: attilatehbun
Fandom: Young Avengers
Pairing/Characters: Kate Bishop, Billy Kaplan, Teddy Altman, Eli Bradley, Tommy Shepherd
Rating: PG
Word Count: <900
Author's Notes: Uhhhhhhhhh. This art ----> This icon ----> This conversation === This ficlet. WHATEVER, THIS FANDOM NEEDS MOAR CRACK, ANYWAY
::
"All I wanted you to do was remove the hat," Kate bites out, proud that she's been able to fight down the urge to scream. She's not worried, though; she's sure the screaming will be along shortly.
"I'd like to see you try to accurately aim at a speedster, Kate," Billy says, and if Kate wasn't already pretty positive that sarcasm was just Billy's default manner of response, she would be now, because despite his tone, his face is frozen in a completely expected mask of shock touched with just a hint of horror. After all, he did just turn his brother into a kitten.
And yes, she did just think that, and she's going to have to say it out loud in just a minute, and she can already feel the headache building behind her eyes. She wills her hands to stay at her sides instead of going to her temples or her bow, as they so clearly want to do, because yes, she did choose this insanity, she reminds herself.
Sometimes it's hard to remember why.
"I just-- a kitten?" she says, because it's honestly all she can manage right now, short of strangling Billy, or Tommy, or better yet, both. And she's pretty sure she'll need Billy, eventually, to put things right, and she's not quite at the point where violence against kittens seems okay.
Give her at least an hour.
"It was an accident," Billy says, and he's at least sheepish about it.
Teddy, bless his stupidly misguided by well-intentioned heart, tries to salvage something of the situation. He bends and scoops up the tiny white ball of fluff and the damn hat that started the whole mess. "It could be worse," he says, tossing the hat to Kate, who catches it without even having to interrupt her glaring at Billy. "At least we got the hat away from him."
"Not really helping, Teddy," Eli says, and Kate almost chokes on her sudden laugh, because Eli and Tommy are glowering at each other the way they always do, and probably always will, because really, if spontaneous kittenhood doesn't change things, nothing probably ever will.
Teddy reaches out with one finger, hesitant, like he can't really help himself, and scratches Tommy behind one tiny ear. "You have to admit," Teddy says, "he's a lot easier to handle like this." Tommy responds by clambering up Teddy's tshirt, all awkward, stubby legs and jerky claws, to perch on Teddy's shoulder and headbutt him happily in the ear. "Maybe even nice," Teddy laughs, and Tommy looks almost smug at Billy's shocked, "Teddy!"
Tommy glances over at Billy then bumps his head deliberately against Teddy's jaw; Billy goes bright red in the face and starts muttering furiously under his breath. Kate catches brother and molesting and lemon juice before deciding she really doesn't want to hear any more.
Eli is staring at Tommy, still perched cockily on Teddy's shoulder: he tilts his head to one side, intent. "I will grant you, possibly," Eli says, mildly less annoy--" and before he can finish, Tommy turns, and in a flash that rivals his human self for speed, has reached out and clawed Eli's domino mask neatly off his face. Eli sputters, the mask is stuck on one of Tommy's minute claws and he shakes his paw furiously to dislodge it, the mask comes suddenly free and smacks Eli square in the nose, and Eli looks as if he's just crossed the line to where violence against kittens is completely right and natural. A perfectly normal order of business. Kate moves to step in, because, really, her headache is bad enough as it is.
"Enough," she says, and all the boys (and kittens) freeze in a way that would be really very funny if it were any other day than today. "Look, I'll just-- give him to me, Teddy."
Teddy mutely plucks Tommy from his shoulder and passes him into her outstretched hand. Kate leaves him dangling there, because clearly that is still Tommy Shepherd's brain in there, regardless of his form, and she is not letting him get any closer to her breasts than is strictly necessary. She watches him sag in disappointment, before he realizes that the hat is still in her other hand. His tiny body tenses, stretching vainly to reach it. Kate sighs and she doesn't even have a free hand to rub at her face with.
She turns to Billy. "Can you fix this?"
Billy startles. "Yeah, I'm--I think so. I might need a little time..." He trails off at the look on her face.
Kate sighs again. "Fine," she says. "All right. What should we do with him until Billy cleans up his mess?" Tommy is twisting desperately in her hand now, trying with all his fuzzy might to launch himself at the absurd hat she's still holding in her other hand.
"Maybe," Teddy says, blushing when she snaps her head up to glare at him. "Maybe we should just let him have the hat, Kate. Just for a little while," he finishes rapidly.
And for that, Kate blessedly has an answer. "No," she says. "No. I don't care; kitten, or superhero, or even kitten-superhero, he simply cannot get away with stealing Aretha Franklin's hat!"
::fin::