[Fic] When did things change?
Title: When did things change?
Author: bunny_d_kate
Fandom: V6
Pairing: Okada x Ken (kind of)
Summary: Sometimes Okada can't help but worry.
"Don't forget to call mom."
It wasn't like he really needed the reminder but it had become a bit of a tradition for his sister to send him a message like this early in the morning every year on Mother's Day. Sometimes he even suspected that she was starting to send them earlier to make sure to wake him up.
He would call her after breakfast. Though knowing his mother she was probably awake since 7 anyway. He had sent her flowers, too. Bringing them over himself would have been a nice surprise but today was a workday after all and Osaka was a little too far away to just hop into the car to drive over there for dinner.
Rubbing his tired eyes he rolled out of bed and shuffled off towards the bathroom to start the day with a nice hot shower.
***
"I didn't think it was possible but his eyes look even smaller than usual like this.", Go whispered though at a volume that anyone in the room could hear it anyway.
Anyone but the guy next to him apparently who didn't even look up from his magazine and only gave him a puzzled frown as he nudged his side to get his attention.
"Huh?"
"Nah, it's fine. I get it. Your stupid fashion magazine is more interesting than you very best friend..."
A slap on the head and they were back to Inocchi who couldn't stop grinning like an idiot as he told them for what was probably the fifth time this morning how he had spent his first real Mother's Day as a husband and father with his little family.
***
Filming had gone smoothly as usual. As a special for Mother's Day the mission given to them by the staff this time was to bake a cake together. Though not in a normal way of course but while using the reverse glasses. Those always got good ratings after all!
In the end, the floor and pretty much all of their clothes were covered in flour. As well as their faces. And hair...
Sakamoto looked especially bad since Inocchi had somehow managed to break an egg on the side of his head so that his hair had turned into a white, sticky mess.
"Well, I don't know what you guys are doing tonight but I'm going home to take a shower before this stuff gets too hard and I have to shave it all off."
"You should! We could both be baldies!", Go piped up.
"It looks really good on you, don't get me wrong, but I'm definitely too old for this shit."
And with that the cake monster slipped out of the dressing room with a last short wave of his hand.
„Miyake-san“
„Hm?“
One of the staff members held up the pink wallet that had been left on the table while everyone was already getting ready to leave.
„Isn’t that yours?“
„Ah! Yeah, thanks. I almost left it.“
An apologetic grin formed on his lips as he stuffed the item into his bag.
„Sometimes I’d probably forget my own head if it wasn’t attached to the rest of my body.“
***
The interview had run longer than expected. At least they had taken him out to dinner afterwards. Yakiniku of course. Ever since they had started doing these commercials, people seemed to think that Yakiniku was something like a must-have when taking out any Kamisen member. Not that he minded too much. There were definitely worse things to eat for dinner.
It was getting pretty dark and the street lights had been turned on already. Even though it was spring already, the temperatures still went down pretty low during the night. Pulling his coat closer around him, Okada kept walking, his breath visible in the cold air. They had offered to call a taxi for him but he had politely refused the offer. He passed the train station. Walking home from here would take a while but he enjoyed being outside at this time when the streets were becoming less crowded (at least a little) and it almost felt like he could walk around freely just like any other person.
He had to take a left turn here. His steps slowed down. Tomorrow was gonna be another long day so heading home now was definitely the most reasonable decision. Though there seemed to be something stronger than reason that made him walk past the intersection and further away from his own bed.
***
Ringing the doorbell at this time of night made him feel like an intruder and when no one answered his first impulse was to just walk away. Maybe he wasn’t even home. Maybe he was out with friends, enjoying himself. Maybe he was overthinking things again and everything was perfectly fine. What was he supposed to say anyway if he did open the door? Why was he even here? But for once he suppressed the urge to mind his own business and stayed.
He rang the doorbell once more. Nothing. For some reason he himself didn’t really understand he was sure that the other was up there, hiding. If he answered and told him to leave, he would. But he wouldn’t leave without hearing his voice. Without making sure that he was okay.
He rang a third time. He looked down at the plastic bag dangling from his wrist. He hadn’t been sure what to get. Chocolate? Cake? Sake? In the end he had settled for a six-pack of beer and ice cream. Though by now the plastic spoons he had brought along probably weren’t necessary anymore…
As he was about to press the button a fourth time, the small speaker of the intercom clicked.
“Who is it?”
For a moment he was too surprised to answer.
“Hello?”
The voice coming from the other end sounded strained. And pretty annoyed.
“O-Okada. It’s me. Okada.”
Why the hell did he say that twice just now?
A moment of silence.
“Okada?”
"Yes?"
"What are you doing here?"
That was definitely a good question...
"I.. I was in the neighborhood."
"You don't even live around here."
"I know. I had.. I had a meeting around here. So I thought hey.. why not pay a visit to an old friend..?! I haven't been over in ages."
"We've spent all day together. Why would you feel the need to come and see me even after work?"
"Uhm... I have beer?"
"How is that even a-"
A sigh.
"Whatever. Come up."
The door buzzed and he pushed it open to get inside the building.
It wasn't like Ken was always just smiles and giggles but the expression that he was greeted with at the door still worried him a little. He wasn't sure how to describe it but the first thing that came to mind was "dark". And not in a tanned kind of way. The shadows under his eyes, the furrowed brows, the way he was biting his lower lip instead of giving him one of those mischievous grins that had become something like a trademark of his or maybe a cute little pout like he usually did when he wanted someone to do something for him.
Instead of welcoming him in, he just walked back inside, leaving the door open for him.
After taking off his shoes at the entrance he followed him into the living room where Ken had already settled back down on the couch, a blanket draped over his lap. Looking closer he noticed a small head sticking out of it, tiny black button eyes looking at him suspiciously. A growl. Though a tiny one. A gentle pat on the head.
"It's okay, Chewie. You don't remember Okada, hm?"
"It's okay. You can sit down. He doesn't bite or anything. He's just a little protective over me."
He sat down on the couch though making sure to put a little distance between him and the other two occupants. As much of a dog lover he was himself, he didn’t fancy getting bite marks on his arm, no matter how tiny.
„So what brings you here? I mean really.“
The look that Ken was giving him made it clear that pretending was not really an option anymore.
He reached up, lightly pulling at his bottom lip in thought as he tried to find the right words to say but then letting it sink back down into his lap as he became self-conscious of his own old habit.
„It’s nothing really. I was just worried. You seemed so distracted today. I thought it might be because-..“
He hesitated. Maybe because he was afraid of what his words might trigger. Something he might not know how to deal with.
„What?“
„……. Mother’s Day“
„Oh…“
He finally lifted his head to look at him only to find that Ken’s expression had turned even more withdrawn than before.
Maybe he was taking this too far after all. Even though Ken was one of the most open-minded people he knew who never felt any hesitation when talking to random strangers, immediately making friends with everyone; when it came to himself he was mostly a very private person. Though they had known each other for over 15 years now, he could probably count the occasions on one hand where they ever might have had any deep talks about their feelings or anything going on in their private lives. It wasn’t like he had those with any of the other members really but the gap between these two sides of his personality had always been a bit of a mystery to him.
„I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to intrude…“
„It’s fine…“
An awkward silence settled between them that was only broken by the occasional snuffling of the little dog that had rested his head back onto Ken’s lap and seemed to be about to doze off.
„It’s kinda ironic really…“
„Hm?“
He looked back over but Ken was staring off into space looking every bit like the philosophical old man that seemed to surface every once in a while when he got into a certain kind of mood.
„How easily one of my favorite holidays can turn into one of the days I dread the most.“
He continued talking before Okada could respond but maybe his was the role of the listener in this conversation tonight.
„We would always pick her up in the afternoon. Me and my brother. Usually we had a picnic in the park. Sometimes we would go to a café too but only if it was raining. I would bring Chewie, too, but I usually had to carry him after a while because he would get tired. She would scold me because I was spoiling him too much. Making fun of me, saying that next I would get one of those girly handbags to carry him in. I still remember her laugh when she said that. How the wrinkles formed around her eyes…“
There was no crying. No sobbing. Not that he had really expected that. But there was sadness blending into the small smile on his face as he took a trip down memory lane.
„When I woke up today, the first thing I wanted to do was to call her. It was like a reflex because I was so used to doing it every year. ….Then I remembered that I couldn’t.“
It was just a short glimpse but the unveiled expression of sorrow on his friend’s face made his chest tighten uncomfortably. It made him remember the funeral. And the feeling of complete helplessness because there really was nothing he could do to take away his pain no matter how badly he wanted to.
„Ken…“
But the moment passed quickly and then the smile was back.
„I still talked to her though. Just in a different way.“
„I’m sure she heard you.“
A thoughtful nod.
„Did you call your mom today?“
„Yes, I called her after breakfast. I sent her flowers, too.“
Another nod.
„That’s good. We have to show our moms how much they mean to us.“
They settled back into silence for a while though it felt a little less tense now. Looking over again he watched how Ken kept patting his dog’s head absentmindedly even though he was already fast asleep by now.
There was still something he wanted to get off his chest though.
„You didn’t have to come today.“
„Hm?“
It was obvious that his mind had been someplace far away, his eyes focusing back on him slowly as he turned his head towards him.
„You should have told them. I’m sure they could have rescheduled the filming.“
He gave him a puzzled look.
„Why should I have done that?“
„Because… it must be hard. The first year without her.“
The puzzled expression turned into a somewhat sympathetic one and it made him feel slightly stupid.
„I appreciate your concern, Dekopa. I really do. But I can’t do that. I want her to be proud when she watches me from up there so there’s no wallowing in self-pity. And though it is hard sometimes, I try to move forward every day. Because that’s what she taught me.“
"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to-..."
A small chuckle interrupted his apology.
"When did things change? We used to be the ones being protective over you with you being the baby and all but at some point that changed. You don't show it but I know you're always watching... worrying... making sure we're okay. It's like you've become our very own SP."
He could feel his cheeks heat up from his words. Even after over 15 years, that little bastard still managed to make him blush sometimes. And even though it made him feel like a stupid teenager again, he was happy, too. Happy to know that things were okay. Though that wouldn't keep him from worrying. That's what an SP was for after all.
Author: bunny_d_kate
Fandom: V6
Pairing: Okada x Ken (kind of)
Summary: Sometimes Okada can't help but worry.
"Don't forget to call mom."
It wasn't like he really needed the reminder but it had become a bit of a tradition for his sister to send him a message like this early in the morning every year on Mother's Day. Sometimes he even suspected that she was starting to send them earlier to make sure to wake him up.
He would call her after breakfast. Though knowing his mother she was probably awake since 7 anyway. He had sent her flowers, too. Bringing them over himself would have been a nice surprise but today was a workday after all and Osaka was a little too far away to just hop into the car to drive over there for dinner.
Rubbing his tired eyes he rolled out of bed and shuffled off towards the bathroom to start the day with a nice hot shower.
***
"I didn't think it was possible but his eyes look even smaller than usual like this.", Go whispered though at a volume that anyone in the room could hear it anyway.
Anyone but the guy next to him apparently who didn't even look up from his magazine and only gave him a puzzled frown as he nudged his side to get his attention.
"Huh?"
"Nah, it's fine. I get it. Your stupid fashion magazine is more interesting than you very best friend..."
A slap on the head and they were back to Inocchi who couldn't stop grinning like an idiot as he told them for what was probably the fifth time this morning how he had spent his first real Mother's Day as a husband and father with his little family.
***
Filming had gone smoothly as usual. As a special for Mother's Day the mission given to them by the staff this time was to bake a cake together. Though not in a normal way of course but while using the reverse glasses. Those always got good ratings after all!
In the end, the floor and pretty much all of their clothes were covered in flour. As well as their faces. And hair...
Sakamoto looked especially bad since Inocchi had somehow managed to break an egg on the side of his head so that his hair had turned into a white, sticky mess.
"Well, I don't know what you guys are doing tonight but I'm going home to take a shower before this stuff gets too hard and I have to shave it all off."
"You should! We could both be baldies!", Go piped up.
"It looks really good on you, don't get me wrong, but I'm definitely too old for this shit."
And with that the cake monster slipped out of the dressing room with a last short wave of his hand.
„Miyake-san“
„Hm?“
One of the staff members held up the pink wallet that had been left on the table while everyone was already getting ready to leave.
„Isn’t that yours?“
„Ah! Yeah, thanks. I almost left it.“
An apologetic grin formed on his lips as he stuffed the item into his bag.
„Sometimes I’d probably forget my own head if it wasn’t attached to the rest of my body.“
***
The interview had run longer than expected. At least they had taken him out to dinner afterwards. Yakiniku of course. Ever since they had started doing these commercials, people seemed to think that Yakiniku was something like a must-have when taking out any Kamisen member. Not that he minded too much. There were definitely worse things to eat for dinner.
It was getting pretty dark and the street lights had been turned on already. Even though it was spring already, the temperatures still went down pretty low during the night. Pulling his coat closer around him, Okada kept walking, his breath visible in the cold air. They had offered to call a taxi for him but he had politely refused the offer. He passed the train station. Walking home from here would take a while but he enjoyed being outside at this time when the streets were becoming less crowded (at least a little) and it almost felt like he could walk around freely just like any other person.
He had to take a left turn here. His steps slowed down. Tomorrow was gonna be another long day so heading home now was definitely the most reasonable decision. Though there seemed to be something stronger than reason that made him walk past the intersection and further away from his own bed.
***
Ringing the doorbell at this time of night made him feel like an intruder and when no one answered his first impulse was to just walk away. Maybe he wasn’t even home. Maybe he was out with friends, enjoying himself. Maybe he was overthinking things again and everything was perfectly fine. What was he supposed to say anyway if he did open the door? Why was he even here? But for once he suppressed the urge to mind his own business and stayed.
He rang the doorbell once more. Nothing. For some reason he himself didn’t really understand he was sure that the other was up there, hiding. If he answered and told him to leave, he would. But he wouldn’t leave without hearing his voice. Without making sure that he was okay.
He rang a third time. He looked down at the plastic bag dangling from his wrist. He hadn’t been sure what to get. Chocolate? Cake? Sake? In the end he had settled for a six-pack of beer and ice cream. Though by now the plastic spoons he had brought along probably weren’t necessary anymore…
As he was about to press the button a fourth time, the small speaker of the intercom clicked.
“Who is it?”
For a moment he was too surprised to answer.
“Hello?”
The voice coming from the other end sounded strained. And pretty annoyed.
“O-Okada. It’s me. Okada.”
Why the hell did he say that twice just now?
A moment of silence.
“Okada?”
"Yes?"
"What are you doing here?"
That was definitely a good question...
"I.. I was in the neighborhood."
"You don't even live around here."
"I know. I had.. I had a meeting around here. So I thought hey.. why not pay a visit to an old friend..?! I haven't been over in ages."
"We've spent all day together. Why would you feel the need to come and see me even after work?"
"Uhm... I have beer?"
"How is that even a-"
A sigh.
"Whatever. Come up."
The door buzzed and he pushed it open to get inside the building.
It wasn't like Ken was always just smiles and giggles but the expression that he was greeted with at the door still worried him a little. He wasn't sure how to describe it but the first thing that came to mind was "dark". And not in a tanned kind of way. The shadows under his eyes, the furrowed brows, the way he was biting his lower lip instead of giving him one of those mischievous grins that had become something like a trademark of his or maybe a cute little pout like he usually did when he wanted someone to do something for him.
Instead of welcoming him in, he just walked back inside, leaving the door open for him.
After taking off his shoes at the entrance he followed him into the living room where Ken had already settled back down on the couch, a blanket draped over his lap. Looking closer he noticed a small head sticking out of it, tiny black button eyes looking at him suspiciously. A growl. Though a tiny one. A gentle pat on the head.
"It's okay, Chewie. You don't remember Okada, hm?"
"It's okay. You can sit down. He doesn't bite or anything. He's just a little protective over me."
He sat down on the couch though making sure to put a little distance between him and the other two occupants. As much of a dog lover he was himself, he didn’t fancy getting bite marks on his arm, no matter how tiny.
„So what brings you here? I mean really.“
The look that Ken was giving him made it clear that pretending was not really an option anymore.
He reached up, lightly pulling at his bottom lip in thought as he tried to find the right words to say but then letting it sink back down into his lap as he became self-conscious of his own old habit.
„It’s nothing really. I was just worried. You seemed so distracted today. I thought it might be because-..“
He hesitated. Maybe because he was afraid of what his words might trigger. Something he might not know how to deal with.
„What?“
„……. Mother’s Day“
„Oh…“
He finally lifted his head to look at him only to find that Ken’s expression had turned even more withdrawn than before.
Maybe he was taking this too far after all. Even though Ken was one of the most open-minded people he knew who never felt any hesitation when talking to random strangers, immediately making friends with everyone; when it came to himself he was mostly a very private person. Though they had known each other for over 15 years now, he could probably count the occasions on one hand where they ever might have had any deep talks about their feelings or anything going on in their private lives. It wasn’t like he had those with any of the other members really but the gap between these two sides of his personality had always been a bit of a mystery to him.
„I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to intrude…“
„It’s fine…“
An awkward silence settled between them that was only broken by the occasional snuffling of the little dog that had rested his head back onto Ken’s lap and seemed to be about to doze off.
„It’s kinda ironic really…“
„Hm?“
He looked back over but Ken was staring off into space looking every bit like the philosophical old man that seemed to surface every once in a while when he got into a certain kind of mood.
„How easily one of my favorite holidays can turn into one of the days I dread the most.“
He continued talking before Okada could respond but maybe his was the role of the listener in this conversation tonight.
„We would always pick her up in the afternoon. Me and my brother. Usually we had a picnic in the park. Sometimes we would go to a café too but only if it was raining. I would bring Chewie, too, but I usually had to carry him after a while because he would get tired. She would scold me because I was spoiling him too much. Making fun of me, saying that next I would get one of those girly handbags to carry him in. I still remember her laugh when she said that. How the wrinkles formed around her eyes…“
There was no crying. No sobbing. Not that he had really expected that. But there was sadness blending into the small smile on his face as he took a trip down memory lane.
„When I woke up today, the first thing I wanted to do was to call her. It was like a reflex because I was so used to doing it every year. ….Then I remembered that I couldn’t.“
It was just a short glimpse but the unveiled expression of sorrow on his friend’s face made his chest tighten uncomfortably. It made him remember the funeral. And the feeling of complete helplessness because there really was nothing he could do to take away his pain no matter how badly he wanted to.
„Ken…“
But the moment passed quickly and then the smile was back.
„I still talked to her though. Just in a different way.“
„I’m sure she heard you.“
A thoughtful nod.
„Did you call your mom today?“
„Yes, I called her after breakfast. I sent her flowers, too.“
Another nod.
„That’s good. We have to show our moms how much they mean to us.“
They settled back into silence for a while though it felt a little less tense now. Looking over again he watched how Ken kept patting his dog’s head absentmindedly even though he was already fast asleep by now.
There was still something he wanted to get off his chest though.
„You didn’t have to come today.“
„Hm?“
It was obvious that his mind had been someplace far away, his eyes focusing back on him slowly as he turned his head towards him.
„You should have told them. I’m sure they could have rescheduled the filming.“
He gave him a puzzled look.
„Why should I have done that?“
„Because… it must be hard. The first year without her.“
The puzzled expression turned into a somewhat sympathetic one and it made him feel slightly stupid.
„I appreciate your concern, Dekopa. I really do. But I can’t do that. I want her to be proud when she watches me from up there so there’s no wallowing in self-pity. And though it is hard sometimes, I try to move forward every day. Because that’s what she taught me.“
"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to-..."
A small chuckle interrupted his apology.
"When did things change? We used to be the ones being protective over you with you being the baby and all but at some point that changed. You don't show it but I know you're always watching... worrying... making sure we're okay. It's like you've become our very own SP."
He could feel his cheeks heat up from his words. Even after over 15 years, that little bastard still managed to make him blush sometimes. And even though it made him feel like a stupid teenager again, he was happy, too. Happy to know that things were okay. Though that wouldn't keep him from worrying. That's what an SP was for after all.