Chanyeol should’ve seen it coming. "I'm fine, just a bit tired."
"Tired? For three months?"
A pause and no reply.
pairing: Chanyeol/Baekhyun
rating: PG13
genre: angst (is this even angst) / high school au
length: oneshot (2.3K)
warning(s) - highlight to view: death, hallucinations
author's note: a crappy white day gift. i'm sorry i tried
"What are you doing?!" a distant voice called out, activating their panic and making Baekhyun and Chanyeol trip on pebbles which would never make them fall on normal occasions.
Chanyeol was tall and he made running look easy as Baekhyun guinea pigged by his side, trying his best to catch up. The two of them ran for what seemed like forever only to check their watches and discover it had been a mere two minutes.
Between short breaths, Chanyeol suggested that they do that again.
"And get our butts kicked the next time?! No way, never again," Baekhyun spat.
The tall boy insisted that he knew Baekhyun was having fun.
"That wasn't me having fun, that was just my adrenaline acting up."
"But the adrenaline is what makes it fun!"
"Says the guy who nearly got me in trouble for pissing on someone else's plant."
Chanyeol never seemed to stop laughing all the way home.
"Mom, we're home!" Baekhyun exclaimed, maybe just a bit too loud.
Seeing how Baekhyun had disturbed the tranquil setting to his own house, Chanyeol softly murmured a good evening to Mrs. Byun.
The two proceeded to mindlessly head to Baekhyun's room and plopped immediately onto soft, cool linen. They felt the fatigue seep off their somnolent shoulders. Baekhyun's eyelids fluttered open at Chanyeol's loud sigh.
"Penny for your thoughts?" Baekhyun offered as he snatched a coin out of the glass jar atop his study desk.
Chanyeol claimed he thought they were already way too old for that. Baekhyun snickered and laid by his side with eyes perked up, stubbornly expecting a conversation.
"I kinda have something to tell you," Chanyeol started. "I think I'm s-"
"Dinner's ready!" Baekhyun's mother cheerfully stated as she burst through the bedroom door.
Baekhyun and Chanyeol shifted uncomfortably on the bed as their stance was disturbed. Mrs. Byun only obliviously went on to inform Baekhyun's brother next door.
"Don't you have your own house?" Baekhyun ragged at the dining table, to a Chanyeol who was busy stuffing food down his throat.
Mrs. Byun glared at her son and laughed to ease the joke through.
"Chanyeol, you know you're welcome here any day," she soothed. "More rice?"
The tall doofus smiled, bits of rice on the corners of his mouth, and extended his plate with roses blooming on his cheeks. Baekhyun tried to hold his laughter in.
"Thank you, Mrs. Byun! Have a good night!" Chanyeol greeted as the cold sneaked through the open door and in between his three layers of clothing.
He faintly made out a "Take care!" as Baekhyun closed the door behind him. Wisps of steam made its way off his lips and Chanyeol suddenly got an urge to warm his lips on Baekhyun's. He looked away to keep it from happening.
"See you tomorrow?" Baekhyun called out.
It wasn't til then that Chanyeol realised that the boy had stopped in his tracks since a while ago, considering the distance between the two of them. Chanyeol turned around and grinned weakly, serving as an okay for Baekhyun to go off. He stared as the guy skipped away, making his oversized coat look all the more oversized, as if Baekhyun wasn't small enough already.
"Why is our Chanyeol so gloomy today?" Kris taunted.
Kris continued to guess. "Is it Baekhyun?"
Chanyeol shook his head.
"Then what else could it be? I'm pretty sure you'd cheer up when he's around, right?" Kris assumed.
Baekhyun's head appeared between the two, breaking Kris's hold on Chanyeol's shoulders. He squirmed through and uncomfortably stayed still until the two decided that they should distance themselves or the bacon would just stand there and continue tickling them.
"Did I interrupt something?" Baekhyun innocently asked.
Kris's "Whatcha think, dumba-" was cut short by Chanyeol's nervous laugh. Baekhyun remained stationary and went on to pout and whine on how he knew something was up with Chanyeol. Kris changed the topic by offering a treat to dinner.
"You've never chosen anything other than cotton candy," Baekhyun stated several days later, when the two have been doing nothing all day but walking around Insadong in search of snacks they've long not eaten. "I mean, a lot's been off these days. You no longer agree to extra rice when Mother recommends some, you no longer listen to Mad Clown, you no longer smile, for God's sake!"
Chanyeol looked away and heaved a heavy sigh, handing his unfinished icecream to Baekhyun, who refuses and knocks the cone out of his grip. Streaks of icecream stained the sidewalk, pieces of crispy cone became mere glass to be stepped on by normal people with normal lives, passing by a normal street.
It wasn't so for them. Normal.
Chanyeol fake laughed and hoped it calms the tension down. Baekhyun scowled as trails of melted ice cream traced down the cone and his fingers. The guy doesn't even look like he's that interested in eating it anymore.
"I went to the hosp-"
He never got to finish his sentence when Baekhyun had already cheered up once again at the sight of Jongdae and Jongin.
"Guys!" the boy exclaimed, flinging the half eaten dessert away to give his 'bros' their signature handshake.
It had been too late, then. Chanyeol had already walked away. Maybe, just maybe, if Baekhyun had tried to look harder, he would’ve spotted a droopy shoulder drowning amongst the city crowd. Or rather, his shoulders would float, considering Chanyeol's height.
Baekhyun just didn't search further and, instead, dwelled between Jongdae's cheesy puns and Jongin's silent whistles for the girls that managed to capture his eye.
Oddly, Chanyeol never showed up the following Monday and Baekhyun tried but failed to not think of it much.
Tuesday.
Wednesday.
Thursday.
Friday.
Monday.
By then, their close friends had repeatedly inquired Baekhyun as of Chanyeol's whereabouts. All Baekhyun could do was shake his head and take sudden interest in what shoes he chose to wear that day. It was tedious, inevitable, worrisome.
"Chanyeol!" Sehun shouted on a peaceful Wednesday morning, face distorted from feeling glad and angry at the same time.
The third Wednesday, Baekhyun noted; the third Wednesday since he went missing.
In a flash, everyone in all directions seemed to either be running towards or crowding around Chanyeol. Baekhyun stood lone as a frail grin makes its way onto Chanyeol’s façade; a muffled 'hey' that was barely audible.
Roars of “Where have you been?” or “You missed a lot of guitar practice!” filled the August air with Chanyeol hoist in the center, looking lost and distanced. Baekhyun’s never seen him like so.
“Caught ya!” he shrieked on a Monday as he finally got a hold of Chanyeol, huddled in a corner with a notebook in his hand and a pen in the other.
Chanyeol looked up, uninterested. “What do you want?”
“Um, I, uh. W-What are you doing?” Baekhyun stuttered uneasily.
He had never perceived Chanyeol so cold.
“Writing tends to sooth my headache,” he sighed as his eyes travel from a towering Baekhyun to an eye level notepad.
Baekhyun noticed Chanyeol had a lot of those lately. Headaches.
“You can go away now. You have so many other friends, don't you?”
Baekhyun knew he didn’t mean ill but his heart sank when Chanyeol said so. Not that he could deny it.
He gave Chanyeol several seconds to peer upwards, a second chance: an opportunity to claim that those words weren’t what he had in mind, that that was just a sudden outburst. Baekhyun held his ground for one minute, two minutes, three.
Maybe leaving would do them both good.
At first, it started by a lesson a day. Then, he would disappear for several classes in a day. Soon enough, Chanyeol stopped attending school altogether.
Baekhyun was aware of Chanyeol’s limping the last time he saw him. He just wished Chanyeol knew how to hide his pale face and cracked lips, or his constant sighs and weary eyes.
Heyyy
hey
How r u? :)
i’m fine
The same conversation is repeated an aggravating number of times for the past several weeks.
Their conversations never extended then on and Baekhyun would find himself re-reading the tedious messages when no notifications came through (which happened to be all the time). It took him two months to grow the guts to visit Chanyeol, only to come to a “FOR RENT” sign flashing red on unit 109’s front door.
“They moved out two months ago, dear,” the leasing ajumma - who came rushing out with her fluffy slippers on since she thought Baekhyun was an interested buyer - stated.
He then bowed and expressed his deepest regret for disturbing her, receiving a wide smile and a gentle pat on his head in return. After what seemed like a billion tries, Chanyeol finally replied on a Saturday night.
"Hey, where you been? Why didn't you tell me you moved out?" he nagged while the other slightly regrets having picked up the call to a private unknown number.
Chanyeol should’ve seen it coming. "I'm fine, just a bit tired."
"Tired? For three months?"
A pause and no reply.
"Where did you move to?"
"Not that you care," Chanyeol snapped, seemingly annoyed at Baekhyun's sudden concern.
Baekhyun parted his lips to say an equally painful retort, but he had nothing and thus, shut his mouth and looked away. The line grew silent.
"Chanyeol, are you sick? Please tell me you're okay," Baekhyun voiced.
A beep is heard and common knowledge told Baekhyun the call has ended.
“This person has switched off their mobile phone,” a female voice affirmed for the fourteenth time in a row.
Baekhyun thinks her tone changes every time he called, growing more and more frustrated that she has to tell a foolish young boy to just give it up. Baekhyun also thinks he’s officially gone delirious given that the message is an automated electronic reply.
Little did he know, Chanyeol had been emitted into a hospital room. He's been spending his numbered days staring out the window sill, of which was most of the time shut with dull grey curtains anyway.
Baekhyun didn’t know Chanyeol once walked to his house in the middle of the night, crying and debating whether he should tell him about his sickness.
Baekhyun didn’t know Chanyeol tries his very best to not run up to him and get himself a bear hug or a kiss.
Baekhyun didn’t know a lot of things about Chanyeol.
Baekhyun also didn’t know Chanyeol is head over heels in love with him.
“Bastard,” Baekhyun muttered under his breath. “He’s not even picking up my caaaaaaalls!!”
“Uh, oh. I think our bacon is drunk already,” Minseok mocked.
Sehun laughed indistinctively in the background. A knocked out Tao had his forehead on Kris’s shoulder (who tries continuously to dust Tao off, silently complaining that his coat is a limited edition Louis Vuitton).
“Wait, so you’re saying Byun B isn’t always like this?” Junmyeon kid.
Ten idiots’ laughter and a head-splitting headache do not add up well, making Baekhyun wail with actual tears streaming down his face. This left the rest of the table with deformed facial expressions.
“Baekhyun, what’s wrong?” Yixing questioned. “Now that I think of it, this dork doesn’t drink much.”
Upon the proclamation, everyone scrambled to address Baekhyun’s crying. Kris cursed Chanyeol with bated breath, as his hands made its way into the various corners of his coat for his phone.
Baekhyun tried his best to block out the “What do you mean Chanyeol disappeared?!” despite his tipsy state. He thought alcohol would make everything blurry, make every problem cease to exist for even a while. Boy, was he wrong.
Amidst the commotion, Jongdae sat quietly in a corner and occupied his attention span on fiddling with his fingers.
Kyungsoo noticed first. “Do you have something to tell us?”
Keeping secrets had never been Jongdae’s forte; the guy ended up blurting out every secret he held in for years (including the fact that he was the one that had spray painted Luhan’s favourite teddy bear).
“Is he.. dying?" Jongin whimpered.
"He's got around a week left." The week was just a white lie, only something to hope for; a fib that held a good place, in spite of the actual definition of a fib.
“Why haven’t you told us? You must be kiddi-“ Kris frowned as his statement never fully left his lips before Baekhyun had already made a run for InGye Hospital, completely ignoring the fact that he can’t truly see what’s ahead and what’s not; what that blue blimp of glimmer is or that huge grey on darker grey indicates.
Muddles of his name being hollered and orange flickering lights clouded Baekhyun’s thinking to its limit. It reached a point where it hurt to just keep his eyes open.
A glimpse of Chanyeol instantly cleared his head and for a brief second, his sight became faultless as Baekhyun savoured every single attosecond of Park Chanyeol: the person he’d missed so much, the person he’s dying to see.
Luhan’s voice and a deafening horn were the last set of sounds Baekhyun made out before a blinding glare of light grasped at his consciousness. The spot Chanyeol stood at ended up becoming a black void.
⏩
“Jae, register these for me, will you?”
A hum and a nod followed as the officer grabbed the two yellow envelopes handed over the reception desk.
“What is it this time?” he asked as his fingers wrap around the paper edge.
“One at InGye; a fatal disease, they said. 10:23PM,” he shrugged and resumed, “Number two was in Hongdae, 10:23PM as well. Stupid truck ran over the poor kid. Hell, that kid had like a whole clan crying.”
“Both were too young. Ninety two liners,” he absentmindedly scanned the page.
“Wait, I got something interesting this time.”
A chuckle came from the officer. “Tell me.”
“The two must’ve been related. These kids had each others’ names tattooed right below their collarbones.”
“InGye and Hongdae?”
A hum and a nod.
author's note no.2: ok thanks. you may now rub my crap writing into my face