Lesson (part a)
Lesson 1: Never judge a book by its cover.
The first thing that Super Junior taught Heebum was to never judge a book (or person) by its cover (or appearance). True, his parents and teachers have been trying to drill this concept into his head for years, but he still skipped over books with dull covers anyway, until he met Super Junior.
He thought Ryeowook would be innocent. He was wrong. Bitch was always horny and trying to get in his pants.
He thought Sungmin would be harmless. He was wrong. Bitch martial art-ed his sorry ass on the first day.
He thought Heechul would be loud and flamboyant. At least he was right about something.
Lesson 2: Vampires aren’t the only beings that never age (or sparkle)
One of the first things Leeteuk did, besides introducing himself, was to show Heebum photos of Super Junior in their younger days. He
looked at a photo of Leeteuk from 2000. He looked at the current Leeteuk sitting in front of him. He looked at the picture again. And back to the smiling man. No fucking difference.
“It’s like you’re a Korean Edward Cullen except you don’t sparkle.” Heebum had accidently let his tongue slip.
“But I do!” Leeteuk exclaimed. He snapped his fingers and was instantly surrounded by floating sparkles and blinking diamond thing-a-ma-jigs. To this day, making that comment remains one of Heebum’s most regretted actions.
Lesson 3: Aliens are blue and they love cockroaches
On the third morning, Heebum had woken up especially early and went to the fridge to look for breakfast. He didn’t find any but there was
a plate of chocolates sitting in the fridge so he decided to munch on a few before going to look for food. Out of nowhere, he noticed something small and blue tailing Donghae.
“Hyung, what’s that?” He asked pointing at the creature.
“That’s Bloop.” Donghae replied, bending down to take a plate of chocolates out of the fridge.
“But what is it?” Heebum asked more curious than ever.
“An alien. This little guy comes from Pluto and he’s named Bloop because that’s all he ever says.” Donghae answered, picking up the alien
and looking like a proud parent.
“Bloop. Bloooooop. Blooobity Bloobity Bloop. (Who do you fucking humans think you are taking Pluto out of the Solar System like that)”
“Come on you’re still mad at that? Here, have a cockroach.” Donghae offered Bloop a piece of the ‘chocolate’. Fuck! Heebum suddenly felt sick and made a dash for the toilet, where he spent the next few hours trying to get the ‘chocolate’ out of his system.
Lesson 4: Earphones/plugs are extremely essential
Super Junior was noisy. Really noisy. Especially at night. Care to guess why? If you thought something along the lines of ‘Because they’re
fucking each other’ then you’re completely right. Heebum always complained that his earphones were too old and was, for once in his life, glad that he had actually brought that thing along with him.
He did try suggesting sound proof walls to Leeteuk the next morning but the older man stared at him blankly, blinked a few times and asked “Why?” Heebum decided to never bring it up again.
Lesson 5: Don’t underestimate turtles (or their owners)
Heebum had never been a fan of turtles. He thought that they were slow and boring so he never really paid much attention to them until
Yesung bugged him to watch the TF1 (Turtle Formula 1) with him. Heebum was really reluctant because would probably take a whole to finish half a lap but he finally agreed because Yesung wouldn’t stop pestering him. And by pestering, he meant molesting his philtrum.
Trying to make the best of the situation, he seated himself comfortably on the soft blankets, coffee in one hand and popcorn in the other.
He watched uninterestedly as the lights changed from red to green and the next thing he knew the turtles were off. And by off, he meant mother fucking flew.
The turtles ran so fast Heebum swore they were stirring up a bloody hurricane within the room. He couldn’t see where they were or how many laps they had finished. To his surprise though, Yesung seemed to be able to keep up.
“How can you even fucking see?!” Heebum screamed.
“That’s easy. I have super vision.” Yesung said in a low voice, cupping his eyes with his hands and succeeding in making himself look
completely retarded.
Lesson 6: Weight don’t mean nothing
The first time he saw Shindong, he thought he would be the kind of person that wouldn’t be able to climb the stairs let alone dance. When Heebum watched Super Junior rehearse he got the shock of his life.
Shindong was dancing ballet. Yes. He was fucking twirling and spinning and balancing on the tips of his toes and he even managed to split. As if that wasn’t enough, he was leaping in the air as if was fucking 1 kg or something. Heebum’s jaw literally fell open.
A/N: Yeah I may continue this tomorrow if I don’t have any work to do. I haven’t written a fic in a (long) while because school was being
an arse. Trignometric functions is not even going to benefit me… Oh but the holidays are coming soon, I hope I’ll get to write something then. Please do not ask me what I was on when I was writing. Also I couldn't be bothered to check for mistakes.