Comments | burnbrighteyes: I am currently 18 years old, and don't know how to live

burnbrighteyes

I am currently 18 years old, and don't know how to live

Mar 11, 2004 11:59

okay..life is going to change. Im going away to UCF in the fall to live with an unknown roomate and attend class with 300+ strangers. However, I am still lost about the whole friend concept. Most have not been able to give me what I have wanted. I need a friend to accept all my bad and good, challenge me intellectually, and to constantly confirm ( Read more... )

Comments 7

blucypher March 11 2004, 10:47:08 UTC

Hey ( ... )

burnbrighteyes March 16 2004, 06:13:15 UTC

I feel like I already know that they wouldn't know what to do with all the rest of me and i have to restrain myself around them. I feel like my friends and I have no more room to grow, and its nothing like: Im better than them, they form shallow frienships, etc. We just want different things out of life. I strive to do that too, don't look too hard..let it come by itself. Nothing in my life is unbearable, I'm a happy girl. I have this feeling I want more, and if I be myself and say all the weird things I know some people will match up to me. Right now, I would describe myself as frustrated and similtaneously accepting.

College is not the answer to all your issues. anonymous March 11 2004, 12:37:41 UTC

In my experience, best friends are hard to find. I have found, however, that people who change as to assimilate to the person they are around have a more difficult time finding friends. People do not want a person who act like them for the sake of being their friend, they also do not tend to like friends who contribute dialog as simply to appease them. Perhaps you blame too much of this on being in "high school" none of these problems will change when you get to "college" especially if you can't realize now your the issues at hand in the present, College will not alter your life in such a grand sense as you expect it to. A live journal entry is not such a alteration either, as you are not actually interacting with anyone - I think your issues hit closer to home than you are willing to accept or observe - Good luck with it all though - you are right, you do deserve a best friend.

Re: College is not the answer to all your issues. burnbrighteyes March 16 2004, 06:00:46 UTC

I agree. I think that true friends accept everything about you, and no one should have to change who they are to suit them. That's what I want. To be myself, to not hold back anything and be accepted. But with my friends right now I feel like they wouldn't know how to do that. I feel like I've come to the end of the road. My friendships will grow no more depth. And its nobody's fault, its just how they view the friendship should be. Im not saying college is the answer, you are right..im always going to be who i am, and going somewhere else isnt going to change it.

anonymous March 13 2004, 16:31:12 UTC

maybe your just a strange person and people dont relate to you. probably just put yourself out there and take more chances on people you dont really know. i find that you close yourself off to people because of rumors or things you have heard about a person. also, what about emily? i wonder how she feels reading this journal entry.

Emily burnbrighteyes March 16 2004, 05:50:08 UTC

I've always liked Emily, I just feel like we don't match up sometimes. We are close, but I'm never fully comfortable around her. The things that satisfy her in life don't satisfy me. I won't tell her because I feel that our current friendship is as close as it will ever get, which is not a bad thing. We help each other out in life and make each other laugh.

burnbrighteyes March 16 2004, 06:24:51 UTC

why is everybody anonymous?