Old people and me being the outsider in discussions yet again...
So, my Social psych boy, Josh...I decided to give him another chance, so I sat next to him in class and just started talking to him to see if I could get a better idea of what he was like instead of just ignoring the fact that he "asked me out". Well we were just talking about the class and such and I asked him what year he was in and he said he was a senior with this kind of snort/weird laugh thing and so I just said, "why is that funny?" and he's like, "well you know, I should be out by now. I've been here a while." So I'm like, "oh. How long have you been here?" And he says, "well I'm 27, so I dunno..about 9 years."
I'm sorry...did you just say TWENTY-SEVEN?! Now I know I shouldn't be judgemental about a guy that is still in an undergraduate program when he's 27. A lot of people have problems, have to stop going to school to work, etc...I understand that, but then the boy just had to continue talking and start reliving his college glory days about parties and drinking and all the girls he's dated(including something about a certain girl that got a snicker and a high five from the guy behind him...). Yeah, so when the teacher started talking I told him I couldn't hear(which was true. My teacher doesn't talk very loud and the guy was sitting near the back of a stadium seated classroom...) and moved to the front of the room...far FAR away and then quickly bolted out of the opposite side of the classrom and avoided any more contact with the guy. Where are the grass people I tell you?! Those nice...hot...little gay boys that hold thier ciggarettes all funny. haha. Ignore that.
I mean he just...gave me the creeps. Any guy that gives another guy a high five at the mention of a girl with that look on thier face...you know..THAT look, is enough for me to stay far away. FAR AWAY.
So yeah. Thanks everybody for convincing me to go back and talk to him. I'm just kidding :-P
I got a "B" on my Health Psych test. Whatever that means. The test was so poorly made. I mean there were so many questions that were completely contradicting and he's going to re-evaluate it and tell us next time what he's gonna do about it. I mean even he admitted it was a ghetto test. Maybe my "B" will turn into an A. Who knows. I studied my ass off for that damn thing though, so I desere an A, but I'll accept a B. I'm not picky anymore. JUST PASS ME.
In other test news, I got my ass kicked my changing your fucking health behaviors midterm I had today. Yeah. You try taking a 80 multiple choice, 10 essay and 1 freaking novel long question in an hour and 15 minutes. Not possible. She's insane. That's all I have to say about that. I didn't really study because she said it would be open book and I had my priority on my health psych test, so yeah there was no time to even look at the book, so I just bullshitted my way through it praying that I had been paying attention in class enough to pass. ARGH!
We were talking about how ideas of sexuality have changed through the times. Like how much more today people just have sex with no commitment and everyone is fine with that where that was more of a rarity years ago, you know? So my professor brings up the case about those middle school kids that were caught in the bathroom giving each other oral sex and the people in my class like didn't think that was weird or wrong or something. The guys AND the girls were all just saying that oral sex was nothing and it normally always happens on thier FIRST dates with people....
.....
.....
.....
SAY WHAT?! I mean granted I figured there were some people that did that/thought that way, but NOT THE WHOLE CLASS. I just couldn't keep my mouth shut and basically voiced my opinion that IN MY OPINION that is something extremely intimate and it's not something you just engage in with people you just met no matter how attractive you think they are or whatever. I was just shocked that everyone in my class agreed that oral sex was just a tiny step above making out. I didn't even know how to defend myself. They were all just firing questions at me like I was some freak that didn't want to have any fun. I want to have fun, just not at the expense of my emotions or a disease. ICK.
I just felt like such an outsider. For the 50 millionth time this semester, I've wondered if I ever belong in a college. I don't like parties, drinking or doing sexual things with people I barely know...WHERE DO I BELONG THEN?! Where are the normal people I thought existed?! haha
I just can't get over what these people were saying! Do they have any self-respect?! I mean I think of my body as something very sacred that you have to EARN or something, you know? I mean a guy is LUCKY..EXTREMELY LUCKY if he even gets a kiss on the lips from me after a date. EXTREMELY LUCKY. haha. I mean I just....I don't even know what to say. I was just so shocked. I mean should I be shocked? Am I so naive and in my own little world of what people are like that I don't even see reality anymore?! I feel like I'm the only person that feels this way in this place. It's so SCARY. This world SCARES me.
Where's that nice guy that isn't going to be pushy and is gonna enjoy things like going to the beach and talking to me or something and just TALKING and just hanging out and being there for me and not dropping me after a short time and then leaving my life completely and oh my god I'm gonna cry... =/
Maybe I should give up and join the nun union. HAHA. The nun union...haha...haha...haha...haha...haha. I'm getting hysterical.
Tomorrow me and Steph are going to see "I <3 Huckabees" in Destin. MARKY MARK! WOO! Shirtless hopefully...but no crying..or attempting to cry...cause if he attempts to cry I might have to snort again and then not be able to control my laughing and be one of those annoying people in the movie theatre that won't stop making noise...anyways..
I have a bio psych test next week on Wednesday. I'm really hoping I do well. It would really boost myself esteem if I could get a good grade on this one. 7 weeks until the semester is over! :-D
I went to talk to the housing people about next year because I want to apply as soon as physically possible so I hopefully get my first choice. Although I'm not sure what my options are, but I still want my first choice? haha. But they said that people LIKE ME don't get a contract until February which I thought was kind of late, but WHATEVER. I'm on some list. So next year I won't have to drive my ass on campus every freaking day sometimes more than once and pay 500 bills every month just to stay ALIVE.
GOOD LORD.
I also tried to go see an advisor, but apparently I don't have one and I have to go through some process to get one and I'm like, "fuck that shit" I know what I'm doing. haha. I mean I just wanted to verify things and whatnot, but I know what I need to register for, so I'm not even going to mess with that. I'm SO excited about next semester. It should be super because I'll have a nice schedule and a job and I will be busy and healed and happy again.
Then I'll be home for the summer. Working and going to school in Ft Walton. My hell of school just never ends. Haha. I'm going to see if there's any way I can get around that summer class thing and work two jobs because I need money so bad. The impending doom of graduate school is hanging over my head like a dark cloud. It's estimated that a graduate program costs 8-10 THOUSAND dollars. *dies* For someone as obsessed with saving money as me, that's gonna be a punch in the gut.
I'm listening to "the saddest song" by the Ataris because it reminds me of the last few days in Orlando after we saw them at that radio show. *sigh* You know as much as I bitched about Orlando I wouldn't have traded in that experience for anything.
I was just thinking about last Halloween and the guy in the Parrot suit and the hot guy at Barnies and THE PRIEST! You're going to hell Steph. ;-) And watching misery and then Steph, Danielle and me looking at BOWL HEAD pictures! Wasn't that Halloween?! *sigh* And I have nothing planned this year. Maybe I'll sit outside my apartment and throw candy at people that pass by and scream "HAPPY HALLOWEEN" and the top of my lungs in my underwear. I don't know.
I'm weird. And I've been typing the longest damn entries these days. It's the CRAMPS and the female problems...yeah...I'll bet you all wanted to know that one! But it's ok because I get to use this pretty little patches now and stick them all over my body so I'm not a vegetable for 5 days. HAHA.
You want to hear a funny joke about vegetables?