FML
Okay, so today in a fit of inspiration I decided to update my CV (in reality go pitifully begging to my employed and professional friends for templates of their crowning jewels to masterfully manipulate into my own showcase of talent) which was traumatic in and of itself. This however, was only to be the beginning of my horror...so owning to fact that it was a stat. holiday I figured it was a perfect time to be sending said CV in to various potential employers with no risk of having to do anything about it until, oh, at least tomorrow.
But no. What kind of foolish lulling into a false sense of security did I embrace. Less than five hours after I had sent my CV to an agency and at 8.30 pm (PM!) I get a phone call...and a thousand bloody questions that I was barely even capable of comprehending let alone answering with any sense of coherency. Naturally I had just mere moments before peeled my face from my drool encrusted pillow after slipping into an ill advised nana nap...reflecting now I realise the violent vibrations of the phone may have been responsible for me waking in the first place.
The interrogation eventually rolled around to references which I had said I could supply upon request, but of course I was barely fired up, let alone my computer, so there entailed a loud and pregnant pause whilst I frantically keyboard mashed in a desperate attempt to come off as vaguely proficient and professional in the seeking of said details. To compound my ire the WiFi naturally chose this moment to repeatedly kick me off, resulting in my mutterings of discontent no doubt being picked up by the super sensitive microphone on my ridiculous uber android phone that held all the frelling info in it if only I have been cognisant enough to actually remember this fact! GAH!
And to further compound my epic fail, upon distributing my CV to the HR department of the hospital I actually want a job at, I realised seconds after hitting send that I had omitted the closing pleasantries at the end..you know the old "kind regards" followed by your name. So I essentially hung up on what could have been my future employers in an email. Awesome. Undoubtedly I have now been relegated to the black list of complete retards that they wouldnt have darken their doorstep!
In further news I totally lied about how far along in the process my nz registration is (in truth it is stalled on my desk and buried within the detritus of ages) and informed chipper miss agency hack that I should be re-upped by the end of the week. Mwahahahahahaaa. Now I cant get through to the fuckers in england to pay the £34 its going to cost them to issue me with a letter of good standing. The Fuck. What exactly is my hard earned cash paying for. I am pretty sure an envelope and stamp doesn't cost that frelling much. The thievery, it burns. I mean, they might as well just have a kidney now, why wait for a timely removal when they can just rob you blind of all essentials regardless of your condition.
And as if all these conspiring events hadnt convinced me to go back to bed I tried to get my cash transferred internationally and the lovely dude on the phone asks me for my banks swift code. I am like, what the fuck is that when its at home and where can I find it. I mean picture it...me looking in bewildered agitation at the SINGLE SIDED paper statement as if it is going to magically appear on direction of the british banker. At 1230 a.m. Our bank statements are beyond baron. So then like the complete mook I am I end up reading out the title of the account "anz student saver" - and how have I still got one of those? Jesus H Christ on a crutch. Epic fail at life today. Epic. So now I have to phone back after storming to the bank tomorrow to discover this swift code..why is this information not immediately available. WHY!
But no. What kind of foolish lulling into a false sense of security did I embrace. Less than five hours after I had sent my CV to an agency and at 8.30 pm (PM!) I get a phone call...and a thousand bloody questions that I was barely even capable of comprehending let alone answering with any sense of coherency. Naturally I had just mere moments before peeled my face from my drool encrusted pillow after slipping into an ill advised nana nap...reflecting now I realise the violent vibrations of the phone may have been responsible for me waking in the first place.
The interrogation eventually rolled around to references which I had said I could supply upon request, but of course I was barely fired up, let alone my computer, so there entailed a loud and pregnant pause whilst I frantically keyboard mashed in a desperate attempt to come off as vaguely proficient and professional in the seeking of said details. To compound my ire the WiFi naturally chose this moment to repeatedly kick me off, resulting in my mutterings of discontent no doubt being picked up by the super sensitive microphone on my ridiculous uber android phone that held all the frelling info in it if only I have been cognisant enough to actually remember this fact! GAH!
And to further compound my epic fail, upon distributing my CV to the HR department of the hospital I actually want a job at, I realised seconds after hitting send that I had omitted the closing pleasantries at the end..you know the old "kind regards" followed by your name. So I essentially hung up on what could have been my future employers in an email. Awesome. Undoubtedly I have now been relegated to the black list of complete retards that they wouldnt have darken their doorstep!
In further news I totally lied about how far along in the process my nz registration is (in truth it is stalled on my desk and buried within the detritus of ages) and informed chipper miss agency hack that I should be re-upped by the end of the week. Mwahahahahahaaa. Now I cant get through to the fuckers in england to pay the £34 its going to cost them to issue me with a letter of good standing. The Fuck. What exactly is my hard earned cash paying for. I am pretty sure an envelope and stamp doesn't cost that frelling much. The thievery, it burns. I mean, they might as well just have a kidney now, why wait for a timely removal when they can just rob you blind of all essentials regardless of your condition.
And as if all these conspiring events hadnt convinced me to go back to bed I tried to get my cash transferred internationally and the lovely dude on the phone asks me for my banks swift code. I am like, what the fuck is that when its at home and where can I find it. I mean picture it...me looking in bewildered agitation at the SINGLE SIDED paper statement as if it is going to magically appear on direction of the british banker. At 1230 a.m. Our bank statements are beyond baron. So then like the complete mook I am I end up reading out the title of the account "anz student saver" - and how have I still got one of those? Jesus H Christ on a crutch. Epic fail at life today. Epic. So now I have to phone back after storming to the bank tomorrow to discover this swift code..why is this information not immediately available. WHY!