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Dang. When I take 2 or more of my fioricet..I feel amazing.

Posted via LiveJournal app for iPhone.

Lack of sleep makes you feel certain ways. I've taken 3 of my fioricets and right now I feel so calm. Going to get a bottle of wine to down tonight, and possibly the rest of this bottle. I was served the orders stating that I really can't even see my son. My ex won't let me talk to him on the phone. Won't send me pictures. I can't do this anymore. ( Read more... )

Dear god,

I can't do this anymore. I'm not strong anymore. I'm an unfit mother, an unfit daughter, an unfit sister, an unfit fried, and an unfit girlfriend. I screw up everything. I'm not good enough for anyone. I'm fat and in ugly. I cant get a job. I've lost most of my family and my friends. I've tried to be there..I've tried to get a job..I've ( Read more... )

Ugh. I'm sorry you can't sleep at night because I can't sleep at night..so I watch tv. I had a bad reaction to my new medication and now I can't sleep. My heart won't slow down. I feel like I'm on adderal and I can't stop. I can't slow down. I can't relax enough to just sleep. I'm sorry. I know you have to work all day..and I'm sorry. If it weren't ( Read more... )

Dear will,

I hope this note finds you once I am gone. When an autopsy is completed, you will see that there is no cocaine in my system. Do a hair follicle test..you will find that I have never touched cocaine. You took away my only strength in this world. You took away my little boy. You replaced me..with another woman whom my son..MY SON calls ( Read more... )

Today is a hard day. I can already tell it's going to be a rough day. All I can think about is my little boys voice. Saying "mommy" and "I love you" I need him so badly. I just want him to be in my arms..I need hi to know I still love him. I can't live like this..without my son. I feel so worthless. I feel like..I must be an unfit mother because I ( Read more... )

Sitting in the er. Fixing to get a cocktail of pain meds. Sweeeeet. And a prescription for some pain meds for migraines. Finally. Hopefully they make me feel good for therest of the day and then give me good meds to create my own cocktail. Why does the thought of death not scare me? Why do I not feel guilty about wanting to end my life? It's like ( Read more... )

Well..for the time being I am still alive. I haven't been able to get my hands on an Xanax yet so in about an hour I'm making a trip to the er with migraines..in hopes of getting some pain pills. That mixed with the alcohol should have the same reaction. We will see.

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I have never been so depressed in my life. Everyday for a few weeks now, since Liam was taken away from me..I have thought about the least painful way to end my life. I think I finally figured it out. Xanax and alcohol. The Xanax will knock me out..I just have to drink enough before I black out and hopefully I just won't wake up.

In the event that ( Read more... )