Comments | butfirst: I have stared into the gaping maw of hell...

butfirst

I have stared into the gaping maw of hell...

Jun 26, 2008 22:08

I'm not even going to try to explain. Just go have a look, and come back when you've stopped clawing at your eyes and screaming. Each letter below links to a different window into hell. SFW, though it does constitute crimes against both reality and Photoshop:

W T FThere's also a 'Low Glamour' option which, by the looks of it, means your precious ( Read more... )

Comments 25

yieldsigns June 27 2008, 08:01:36 UTC

Lol, you are about 7 months late in your horror, m'friend, but thanks for the reminder.

If you want to know the truth, though, I kind of wish she'd do a version of me for free.

I totally want that sprayed on, creepy look.

yieldsigns June 27 2008, 08:04:03 UTC

Also, this.

butfirst June 29 2008, 05:45:58 UTC

You mean this was a certified internets 'thing'? Wow, I just found it by accident while looking up 'retouching services' on Google.

Oh, and your wish is my command excuse to avoid doing actual work:

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yieldsigns June 30 2008, 10:48:37 UTC

This is divine, except for my eyebrows.

Thread 7

easy_b_jesus June 27 2008, 10:16:43 UTC

....eyes like glass inserts used to present cadavers for a funeral showing.

butfirst June 29 2008, 05:50:59 UTC

No kidding. 'Dead-eyed' never found a more fitting visual expression. I honestly thought it was a prank when I came across this site.

beardoc June 28 2008, 01:00:28 UTC

Whilst I'm sure they think they're very good, their inability to master the concept of shadowing means that the final images are retouched to the point of looking like plastic.

butfirst June 29 2008, 06:07:23 UTC

Plastic may in fact be a more natural looking finish than what they've ended up with! :D

Actually, I find retouching work this bad truly a thing of wonder. Their (apparent) inability to see the grotesque unreality of their work is horrifying and yet somehow fascinating.

mutleyjames June 29 2008, 09:01:48 UTC

FUCK ME JEFFERS THESE ARE EVEN WORSE THAN YOU DESCRIBED.

IT'S LIKE THE WHITES OF THEIR EYES ARE PASTED IN. I'M STUCK IN CAPS LOCK MODE NOW.

butfirst June 29 2008, 09:31:56 UTC

OMG I KNOW. NO WORDS CAN DESCRIBE THE HORROR. SHIT NOW YOU'VE GOT ME DOING IT TOO.

I don't think it's just the whites. Photoshop forensic evidence suggests the entire eyeballs have been replaced by what this pixel murderer retoucher calls "Doll Eyes". This would stand to reason if the dolls referred to were soul-shredding succubi and the toy manufacturer were Lucifer himself.

yieldsigns June 30 2008, 10:48:14 UTC

You totally just airbrushed mine.

I want my money back.

butfirst July 1 2008, 01:53:21 UTC

Sorry, no refunds.

I was totally prepared to give you DollEyes™ but your lashes got in the way. Seriously though, if either you or Craig want a hellish portrait complete with DollEyes™, email me a suitable picture and I'll gladly do it for you. Just remember to follow her advice on how to snap that perfect picture:

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