(no subject)
I may not be the smartest person in the world, or the most decent human being. And I may not be good with my words like you are, and maybe I don't make the best decisions all of the time. But I think I know how to appreciate life. I know better than to put myself ahead in the situation, because that's not what the situation calls for. I know that right now, I can't think of myself and feel sorry for anything in my life, because I'm not the person who needs it. I wish people took more time out to realize what a friend was.
A friend isn't just someone who is there when a someone needs them, a friend is someone who is there all of the time-- to listen when they want to talk about boys or school or parents. Or even just talk. A friend is a permanent fixture-- not someone who is there when they conveniently need a ride, or something happens (like the situation we are in) that they know about, so they want to jump in and add something to the story. You know what? Exactly. A friend is not supposed to be convenient. A friend will tell you when you look fat because they don't want you to make a fool out of yourself. And they will do ridiculous things with you like go on a 3 hour hunt for contact paper (eight by three transparent twenty four feet for only $2.69) and starbursts cutouts for your mom's milk tickets, and hate your sister for seven years because once you got in a fight with Daniel by calling him Danielle, beat each other with funnoodles, wouldn't let him have Spaghettios so she called you "Little Miss Amber Murphy". A friend is someone who will listen to you and tell you it's okay whether they want to hear it or not. And you know what else? This probably doesn't make sense to most of you, or even any of you. I shared so many memories with this family. I mean, the weather video in Niagra and that whole spaghettio incident. I was in the grocery store yesterday and I saw lil' smokeys. I cried because the last time I wanted li'l smokeys, Daniel ate the last one. I'm not going to start taking all of these memories for granted because he won't be here to share them with us. And all I'm really trying to say is open your eyes. I'm sorry if I'm being too honest, but from my perspective (a perspective of a very close friend of Kristen's for so many years) you haven't been there along the entire road, why would you start now? You can't just bail out when you feel like it, and jump back in when there's a lot of attention involved. That's not how things like this-- things like friendship-- work. Maybe a lot of people need to get a lot of things into perspective. But think about that next time, because as much as you feel sorry for that family, think of how much more you feel sorry for yourself.
Okay Kristen I lied, this might make you cry a little. But you deserve to know how I feel and I know we won't get a chance to talk about this... I've known you for how long now? Yea exactly. And we could sit all day and talk about all of the weird memories we have together. I absolutely love that about us. That no matter where we left off we can pick it right back up. And I really hope you understand, that absolutely no matter what happens there will never be a time I won't be there for you. If it means waiting 3 weeks to find out you had a baby, that's okay with me as long as I hear it from you. and if it means you showing up at my front door because you and your husband decided to get divorced 20 years down the road, the couch is always open. I'm not going to tell you I understand any of what you're going through because I don't. But I can promise you that I never have and never will ever tell you to stop complaining, or don't talk about him no matter who that him is. sometimes I don't understand your reasoning behind picking some of the friends you do. But no matter what kind of friends you pick I hope I'm one of them. You know how much you and your family means to me. I don't need to tell you. I know you're going to hear a lot of this crap, but understand how sincere I am. Not a day goes by I don't pray for you or think about you. I will continue to do that and I hope God gives you the strength to overcome anything that's troubling you. You have a heavy load and I'm happy to take some of the weight off of your shoulders. But I also want you to know that some of these people, the people who say they care about you so much, well chances are they can't even spell your last name. I mean granted, it took me until 6th grade to figure it out. But these people aren't your friends. I want you to know who your true friends are, and really take some time out to examine that. I don't want you to trust the wrong people because you are too vulnerable right now. I'm promising you that I will never be here to judge you, belittle you, or betray you. I will only be here to give you what you need, anything you need, whenever you need it. I hope that's good enough 'cause that's about the best I can do. I love you so much. SO MUCH. And I hope with that comes a stronger relationship. God willing, we hope you get through this all. so...
"TAKE THAT AND PUT IT IN YOUR BACK POCKET!"
--The Famous, Miss Mary Cathrine Gallager
Daniel Ryan Grabarkiewicz
February 2, 1993 + October 7, 2004
