Chapter 008: That Butler, Storytelling

[butlerfromhell]

Despite the complete and utter uselessness of the library here, it is quite entertaining.

Would anyone care to hear a story?

Comments

[morguebathing]

It depends on what kind of story it is, I suppose.

[butlerfromhell]

It seems there are many different kinds. It is, after all, a library.

[morguebathing]

Pick one that interests you, then.

[butlerfromhell]

[Raises an eyebrow and flips through the book in his hands.]

There are many curious stories masquerading as "history."

Here is one, for example, detailing an incident wherein the "King" of Template was overthrown by the mole-men who allegedly live in the sewers. They used toothbrushes as their weapon of choice.

[hoenn_maihime]

Ooo! Yes please! I LOVE stories! Are there any about princesses?

[butlerfromhell]

Mmm... it is likely there is. [He flips through the book in his hand for a moment, then raises his eyebrow.]

According to this, a Princess by the name of Candy McMintfloss reigned over the city of Template for a hundred years. She gained the right to be Princess after defeating the "Dragon of the North," which was made out of chocolate.

Once she had defeated the dragon, she fed it to the people.

[hoenn_maihime]

Wow... How did she live to be so old?! That's amazing!

Say... what's a dragon? Are they all made out of chocolate? If they are, where can I find one!

[butlerfromhell]

[He smiles... perhaps a little politely, but it's a smile.]

I do not know. I sincerely doubt the accuracy of these stories, however.

As for dragons... many cultures have legends of very large, generally flying and fire-breathing lizards who frequently attack humans. They are not made out of chocolate in any tale I have heard previously.

[shadowed_aspect]

I suppose it wouldn't hurt.

[butlerfromhell]

What would you like to hear? There are many fantastical stories regarding the city, for instance.

[super_sane]

It's Bandaged!Joker! He grins and takes a seat.]

I do~

[butlerfromhell]

[He raises an eyebrow at the sight of him, but otherwise makes no comment at all whatsoever. Ever the polite butler, of course.]

Mmm... apparently the fifth Great War of Template occurred five hundred years ago, and was fought between the Jellicle Cats and the Aliens from the Planet Squelch. Would you like to hear of that, or something else?

[super_sane]

Looks pleased...well......aside from the ever-present grin he has. Info on the city!]

Sounds like a B-movie....I'm in! I got plenty of time anyway.

Chuckles softly and pats his bandaged shoulder and knee, wincing as he does so. Why he patted them in the first place, no one will ever know.]

[butlerfromhell]

[It would seem as if Sebastian didn't notice at all... but he did. He always does.]

I am afraid I know nothing of "B-movies," but if it refers to something ridiculous, then you are entirely correct.

[He looks back down at his book and reads a little.]

"The fifth Great War of Template occurred soon after the fourth ended, as the Jellicle Cats had not yet vacated the city. The Aliens from the planet Squelch landed atop the town hall, and took the mayor hostage, requiring that control of the city be handed over to them."

[divine_sun_wolf]

[A story? Ehwat?]

[butlerfromhell]

[Oh. It's you. Hmph. Oh well.]

A story. As it seems that is what the entire history of this city is, a fantasy.

[divine_sun_wolf]

[S-so mean! ;; 0 ;; But that last part catches her attention. What? What does he mean by that?]

[butlerfromhell]

[Pfffft whatever. Like he cares. But he explains anyway, because he's bored, and honestly he has nothing to do.]

Every book in this library that claims to be historical is full of impossibilities and lunacies.

[But then a thought strikes him.]

Of course, the city itself is quite impossible in many ways... still, it is hard to believe that any of these stories are true.