Fic: Hunger (Kris/Adam; American Idol)
Title: Hunger
Summary: Some gifts from fans are dangerous to open.
Pairings: Kris/Adam
Rating: NC-17; Sexual Content; Dub/Non-Con (depending on how you class 'sex-pollen')
Notes: Written for the ai_kinkmeme kink meme. Prompt: Adam/Kris, sex-pollen. Kris has mucho guilt over cheating, but they can not stop themselves.
Hunger
"This one's to both of us," Kris said, holding the shiny box up and giving it a shake. Adam came over and sat next to him on the couch, draping his legs over Kris's. They had a couple of hours before anyone else was expected back and they kinda liked to open at least some of their fanmail when the other guys were gone. They'd gotten some... mildly embarrassing things in the past. "We've already gotten headphone splitters-"
"I can't believe they did that," Adam muttered, but Kris just shrugged. They'd come in handy a couple of times when he or Adam wanted to share music, so he didn't know why it mattered that the fans only gave the splitters because they thought Kris and Adam were having sex. They knew the truth about their friendship and that was the important thing. He wasn't going to let a little misunderstanding get in the way of one of the best friendships of his life. And, he had to admit, it was kinda fun to play around with the people who made that assumption.
"-so I can only assume that this is... maybe the gay sex Kama Sutra or whatever," Kris said cheerfully. Adam snorted, smacking his hand lightly against Kris's shoulder. "That really exists, right?"
"Yeah, it does," Adam said, and he was grinning now, so Kris grinned right back at him. "I haven't read it."
Kris opened up the box and... it looked like it was empty. Kinda dusty, actually. Then he sneezed and the dust flew up. He covered his nose and mouth, but he couldn't stop sneezing -- and he could hear Adam doing it, too.
When the sneezing finally stopping, Kris was feeling kinda light-headed. He looked over at Adam, who was still wheezing slightly.
"What the fuck?" Adam asked, grabbing the box and stuffing the the lid back on. He tried to stand up and Kris actually saw his legs shake and then he collapsed sideways back onto the couch. And then Adam's hand was on his face, tilting it up. "Kris- Kris, hey, are you okay?"
"I don't feel so good," Kris said, but it was weird. He felt horrible except right where Adam was touching him. He reached up and grabbed Adam's wrist and, yeah, that felt so much better. "Adam-"
Kris licked his lips. Adam had always been objectively attractive. But Kris had never felt it, deep in his gut, where his lust for Katy or other girls lived. Right now, though, he felt it. He wanted-
He was so hard.
"I think it was a drug," Kris said, as clearly as he could, but it was so tough to say anything when what he wanted to do was find out if he thought the rest of Adam was hot now, too. He wanted Adam's skin touching his wherever it could. "We need to- to call someone in. Go-" Kris took a shaky breath.
"-to a hospital," Adam finished, but neither of them moved. "Call security. Get someone responsible in here."
"Yeah," Kris sighed, turning his face into Adam's hand. His mouth was still open and his lips dragged over Adam's palm, which didn't taste like anything except heat and skin. He had- he tried to blink himself back to awareness. He had to think about Katy. He loved her. But she was so far away and Adam was so warm.
Adam made a soft, choked-off noise when Kris's tongue licked out to taste the center of his palm. And then he was pulling Kris into his lap, yanking Kris's shirt off and putting his hands all over Kris's back and chest. Kris moaned in contentment, wriggling down until he could feel Adam's hard cock pressing against his ass.
"We can't do this," Adam said, but he didn't seem to have any more control than Kris did and when Kris reached for Adam's shirt, Adam helped him pull it off. Kris slid forward and just... just pressed himself against Adam for a second, the skin-on-skin contact almost enough. His head fell forward, into the crook of Adam's neck, and it seemed so natural to press a kiss against Adam's skin, to open his mouth and suck.
One of Adam's hands slid up into Kris's hair, pushing him harder against Adam's shoulder as Adam bucked up. And that was pretty much the best thing ever, so Kris ground his own hips down, trying to get Adam to do it again.
"Oh, please, I want to fuck you so bad," Adam said, his voice tight and low. And Kris couldn't think of anything that he wanted more. Adam, filling him up from the inside, feeling this rush of heat and need from inside.
He whispered a soft "yes" against Adam's skin. He shouldn't want it - all he'd ever wanted was long blonde hair and Katy's warm smile and her hands touching him - but when he closed his eyes, Adam was still all he could see.
Adam was tugging at his pants and Kris shifted up to help, though his skin ached the second it was away from Adam's - he tried to compensate by running his hands over Adam's chest, and when his fingers stumbled over Adam's nipple, which felt like it was so hard it might be hurting him, he leaned over, wrapping his lips around it and sucking, his tongue stroking over the nub again and again, while he rubbed his thumb lightly over Adam's other nipple.
Adam's hands were all over his ass - bare now and Kris couldn't even remember how that had happened - and Kris moved into his touch shamelessly. He knew that there had to be some kind of drug involved somewhere, because he'd never- he'd never felt like someone's touch was quenching a fire deep inside him. He was- he jerked, startled, as Adam's dry fingertip brushed against his hole, then he found himself pressing backward, before he was even thinking about it.
At least it was just Adam. Kris shuddered, his mind shying away from what might have happened if anyone else had been in here with them.
He leaned up and kissed at Adam's jawline, messy and wet, and one of Adam's hands was cupping his face again, and Adam was sliding two long fingers into Kris's mouth. Kris sucked at them, and his brain was sending him crazy thoughts about other things of Adam's that he could suck and he tried to think about Katy and her soft curves but he couldn't quite... he couldn't even remember what color her eyes were anymore, because Adam was right there.
Adam pulled his fingers out of Kris's mouth and reached around and- Oh, that's what he'd been doing, Kris thought hazily, as Adam pushed both of them into his ass. It hurt, too much-too fast, but it was too slow, not enough, and so Kris pushed back into them anyway, gritting his teeth against the pain. He could vaguely hear Adam's voice, and he was apologizing, sorry and baby and please and need you so much.
Adam's fingers weren't wet enough, catching and rubbing uncomfortably inside him, and it was still the best thing Kris had ever felt. He bit down against Adam's shoulder to keep from begging for more, but his hips were doing the talking for him, as he pushed back against Adam's fingers, fucking himself on them.
Then Adam was pulling them out and Kris whined in protest, and he'd never felt empty before, but then Adam kissed him and Kris could lose himself in that for a while, sucking on Adam's tongue. "Baby, need to fuck you, okay?" It was barely a question, because Adam was already tugging open his pants. "So, you gotta get it wet, can you- can you please?"
Kris slithered backwards, off the couch, and Adam's hand was on the back of his neck, and his breath caught in his throat when he saw Adam's cock - so much bigger than his fingers - but he didn't hesitate to open his mouth as Adam guided him toward it. He wrapped his lips around the head and tried frantically to remember everything that Katy had ever done right for him - teeth were bad, wet was good, don't give a fuck about the mess - and did his best to apply it to Adam.
His teeth scraped against Adam's skin a couple of times before he figured out what to do and his tongue got in his way at first, nearly choking him when Adam thrust up into his mouth. Adam's hand slide up, anchoring itself in Kris's hair and... and that was easier, to just relax and let Adam be in charge of everything. Adam's cock bumped against the back of his throat and Kris whimpered. He'd never... Katy had never gotten the hang of going all the way down and Kris couldn't believe how much he wanted it.
There was, he was pretty sure, not a chance in the world he could successfully do it right now, but the longing in itself was startling.
Kris didn't know how long he'd been licking and sucking at Adam's dick when Adam pulled him off, but he scrambled back up on Adam's lap eagerly, pressing his trembling mouth against Adam's shoulder. Adam's fingers were back at his entrance, wet again, which he must have done himself, and it hurt less this time.
Then Adam was boosting him up and- sweet fucking God, it was agony, too big, too much, and Kris couldn't even breathe. And Adam was apologizing over and over in a broken voice, but he wasn't pulling out. Maybe he couldn't. Adam wouldn't- Adam wouldn't hurt him on purpose.
Because- because the hunger wasn't gone. Even though Kris was feeling a little like he'd just been stabbed, with a sharp and bright pain that echoed through his whole body, he still wanted. He'd rather have Adam inside and it hurt than not have Adam at all.
He sniffled slightly, burying his face against Adam's neck - he hadn't even noticed when tears had sprung to his eyes - and whispered, "More. Please."
The pain dulled into a persistent ache as Adam slowly tugged Kris down onto his cock. Kris licked his lips, rolling his hips slightly. He winced from the twinge of pain, but then did it again. It was the best-worst feeling he'd ever had and his fingers were so tight on Adam's arms that he was sure he was going to leave marks.
He blinked away his tears and lifted up his face, seeking out Adam's mouth for a kiss. That... that helped, a sensation of sheer pleasure to contrast against the ache of Adam's cock stretching out his ass. And, finally, he was resting against Adam's pelvis, all the way down. He took in a deep breath. The fog was lifting off his brain, though he still felt the pounding desire that had taken them to this point.
"So tight," Adam moaned into Kris's mouth. "Too tight, Kris, fuck I'm so-"
Kris cut off Adam's apology with a hard kiss. When he broke the kiss, he reached up and cupped Adam's chin with his hand, making Adam look at him. "This is not your fault. I-" Kris shivered, rocking his hips against Adam's. The pain was already starting to fade, though he still felt too dry inside, the friction of Adam's cock hurting as much as the stretch. "I feel it, too, okay. It's not you; not ever you." And Kris took a shuddering breath and told Adam his only real secret, not that it was much of one. "Love you, have for a while, everything but the sex part. Not gonna stop."
Adam nodded, slowly, still not looking like he believed Kris. Kris pulled him into another kiss, desperately trying to make Adam feel it. He grabbed Adam's hand and put it on his cock, which was hard, pre-come leaving sticky spots on his skin. Everything but sex, he'd said, but here was sex and Kris was feeling it just as badly as Adam, so it wasn't anyone's fault. And Kris didn't know what he'd do if they went through this thing and Adam wasn't still there for him on the other side of it.
He rolled his hips again and it was starting to feel... nice now. He closed his eyes and let the good parts wash over him, concentrated on those and tried to let the pain fade away. Adam was leaving tiny kisses all over his face, his hands stroking against Kris's skin so, so lightly that it was almost like they weren't there. Now that Adam was so close to him, the burning need had twisted into a soft, lingering joy that sang under his skin wherever Adam was touching him.
His fingers loosened their tight grip on Adam's arms and he just... he just touched Adam, noticing all the things that he'd never looked hard enough to noticed before - the freckles, like Adam had scattered glitter all over himself one day and it had sunken in; the way Adam's work-outs were starting to put clear definition into his muscles; how soft it was, probably because Adam used eighteen-million moisturizers every day. “You're beautiful,” he said, and he could hear the wonder in his own voice, and Adam looked up at him, eyes wide. Kris traced his fingers along a line of freckles and Adam's mouth had dropped open a little and he looked... young and vulnerable and Kris just wanted to stay here forever. “You are so very beautiful,” he said again, leaning down to brush a kiss across a red mark he'd left on Adam's shoulder.
“Please don't,” Adam whispered. He was jerking up into Kris tight and smooth, his hand gliding down Kris's back to rest just above his ass. “Don't do this to me, please.”
Kris shook his head, puzzled. “I don't- I don't understand.” He kissed the corner of Adam's mouth, licked at it until Adam parted his lips to let Kris in. His other hand lightly brushed across the head of Kris's cock, and they just kissed for several long, languid moments, and Kris could barely remember what it'd felt like to be hurting. “What am I doing wrong?”
Adam laughed, his voice shaking. “Nothing, honey. That's the problem.”
Kris wrinkled his nose up, wishing that Adam would just explain, but then Adam's hand started moving faster on his cock, encouraging Kris to fuck himself down on Adam's cock, and that was- that was distracting.
He managed to find Adam's mouth again before he came, burying a wordless moan inside it. Adam's hips jerked up against him a few times and then- oh, he could feel Adam coming just because it made the slide of Adam's cock inside him so much easier. If it'd... if it'd been like that earlier, it might not have hurt at all. He could definitely... he could see why guys did this.
He settled down against Adam, and he could actually feel an odd release that had to be the drug leaving his system. But he still- he ached, but Adam's cock inside him still felt- it felt okay. “Huh,” Kris said, rocking thoughtfully. Adam was mostly soft now, starting to slip out, but it was-
And Adam lifted him up, pulling his cock out, and Kris had to say a soft “oh” as he felt it leave. He felt... strange and... empty, like he had before, but he was pretty sure that it was just- that it was just him now.
Adam was tucking himself back into his pants and- his hands were shaking. Kris covered them with his own and said, “Hey, hey.” And when Adam kept looking down, Kris sharpened his tone. “Adam, look at me.” Adam's gaze shot up, and he looked- fuck, he looked so scared. Kris immediately softened his voice again. “Oh, baby, it's okay. I promise that it's okay.”
“How can-” Adam took in a deep breath, turning his hands over and clutching back at Kris's. “I- I fucked you. I hurt you. How can that ever be okay?”
“No,” Kris said, firmly. Yeah, his ass hurt, but when it had been happening, he'd wanted it, too. “This was some bizarre, weird drug that did this to us. I cheated on Katy. I don't think she's going to hate me forever for it once she knows about us being drugged. You are not going to blame yourself and you are not going to pull away from me.”
“Bossy,” Adam said, but there was a hint of a smile at the corners of his mouth. “You are the strangest straight boy in the world - you know that, right?”
Kris shrugged. He was- he really needed to talk to Katy before he brought up any possible changes that might exist now. “I'm just being me.”
“Yeah,” Adam said. “That's what makes it so strange.” Then he looked down at them and grimaced. “Okay, I'm going to go get cleaned up. You want to come with me?”
“Go ahead,” Kris said, letting go of Adam's hands. “I need to- get dressed again.”
Adam nodded, and then he picked up his shirt and pulled it back over his head, heading out into the aisle of the bus - though not without a look back over his shoulder at Kris, still looking confused and probably, like Kris himself, feeling more than a little overwhelmed.
Kris watched Adam go and just let himself stay sprawled out on the couch for a little bit longer, trying to organize his thoughts. He wasn't sure- he knew that the drug was gone, had felt it leaving his system after his orgasm. And that meant the fact that he still thought Adam was hot, that the ache inside him wasn't all bad memories, all that stuff was potentially a problem. One of his most important conversations with Katy had involved telling her that, yeah, he loved Adam, but he didn't want to have sex with him, so she had nothing to worry about.
Whatever else this might mean for the both of them, that 'fact' had changed. And he didn't think he could turn it off.
Kris sighed and put his clothes back on and then, with a slight shudder, he picked up the box. He made his way out of the bus and looked around hopefully, finally spotting a garbage can. He opened it up, wrinkled his nose, shifted some of the trash out of the way, and buried the damn thing.
Then he went off to take a shower.
Where, hopefully, he wouldn't think about Adam.
~end~
Summary: Some gifts from fans are dangerous to open.
Pairings: Kris/Adam
Rating: NC-17; Sexual Content; Dub/Non-Con (depending on how you class 'sex-pollen')
Notes: Written for the ai_kinkmeme kink meme. Prompt: Adam/Kris, sex-pollen. Kris has mucho guilt over cheating, but they can not stop themselves.
Hunger
"This one's to both of us," Kris said, holding the shiny box up and giving it a shake. Adam came over and sat next to him on the couch, draping his legs over Kris's. They had a couple of hours before anyone else was expected back and they kinda liked to open at least some of their fanmail when the other guys were gone. They'd gotten some... mildly embarrassing things in the past. "We've already gotten headphone splitters-"
"I can't believe they did that," Adam muttered, but Kris just shrugged. They'd come in handy a couple of times when he or Adam wanted to share music, so he didn't know why it mattered that the fans only gave the splitters because they thought Kris and Adam were having sex. They knew the truth about their friendship and that was the important thing. He wasn't going to let a little misunderstanding get in the way of one of the best friendships of his life. And, he had to admit, it was kinda fun to play around with the people who made that assumption.
"-so I can only assume that this is... maybe the gay sex Kama Sutra or whatever," Kris said cheerfully. Adam snorted, smacking his hand lightly against Kris's shoulder. "That really exists, right?"
"Yeah, it does," Adam said, and he was grinning now, so Kris grinned right back at him. "I haven't read it."
Kris opened up the box and... it looked like it was empty. Kinda dusty, actually. Then he sneezed and the dust flew up. He covered his nose and mouth, but he couldn't stop sneezing -- and he could hear Adam doing it, too.
When the sneezing finally stopping, Kris was feeling kinda light-headed. He looked over at Adam, who was still wheezing slightly.
"What the fuck?" Adam asked, grabbing the box and stuffing the the lid back on. He tried to stand up and Kris actually saw his legs shake and then he collapsed sideways back onto the couch. And then Adam's hand was on his face, tilting it up. "Kris- Kris, hey, are you okay?"
"I don't feel so good," Kris said, but it was weird. He felt horrible except right where Adam was touching him. He reached up and grabbed Adam's wrist and, yeah, that felt so much better. "Adam-"
Kris licked his lips. Adam had always been objectively attractive. But Kris had never felt it, deep in his gut, where his lust for Katy or other girls lived. Right now, though, he felt it. He wanted-
He was so hard.
"I think it was a drug," Kris said, as clearly as he could, but it was so tough to say anything when what he wanted to do was find out if he thought the rest of Adam was hot now, too. He wanted Adam's skin touching his wherever it could. "We need to- to call someone in. Go-" Kris took a shaky breath.
"-to a hospital," Adam finished, but neither of them moved. "Call security. Get someone responsible in here."
"Yeah," Kris sighed, turning his face into Adam's hand. His mouth was still open and his lips dragged over Adam's palm, which didn't taste like anything except heat and skin. He had- he tried to blink himself back to awareness. He had to think about Katy. He loved her. But she was so far away and Adam was so warm.
Adam made a soft, choked-off noise when Kris's tongue licked out to taste the center of his palm. And then he was pulling Kris into his lap, yanking Kris's shirt off and putting his hands all over Kris's back and chest. Kris moaned in contentment, wriggling down until he could feel Adam's hard cock pressing against his ass.
"We can't do this," Adam said, but he didn't seem to have any more control than Kris did and when Kris reached for Adam's shirt, Adam helped him pull it off. Kris slid forward and just... just pressed himself against Adam for a second, the skin-on-skin contact almost enough. His head fell forward, into the crook of Adam's neck, and it seemed so natural to press a kiss against Adam's skin, to open his mouth and suck.
One of Adam's hands slid up into Kris's hair, pushing him harder against Adam's shoulder as Adam bucked up. And that was pretty much the best thing ever, so Kris ground his own hips down, trying to get Adam to do it again.
"Oh, please, I want to fuck you so bad," Adam said, his voice tight and low. And Kris couldn't think of anything that he wanted more. Adam, filling him up from the inside, feeling this rush of heat and need from inside.
He whispered a soft "yes" against Adam's skin. He shouldn't want it - all he'd ever wanted was long blonde hair and Katy's warm smile and her hands touching him - but when he closed his eyes, Adam was still all he could see.
Adam was tugging at his pants and Kris shifted up to help, though his skin ached the second it was away from Adam's - he tried to compensate by running his hands over Adam's chest, and when his fingers stumbled over Adam's nipple, which felt like it was so hard it might be hurting him, he leaned over, wrapping his lips around it and sucking, his tongue stroking over the nub again and again, while he rubbed his thumb lightly over Adam's other nipple.
Adam's hands were all over his ass - bare now and Kris couldn't even remember how that had happened - and Kris moved into his touch shamelessly. He knew that there had to be some kind of drug involved somewhere, because he'd never- he'd never felt like someone's touch was quenching a fire deep inside him. He was- he jerked, startled, as Adam's dry fingertip brushed against his hole, then he found himself pressing backward, before he was even thinking about it.
At least it was just Adam. Kris shuddered, his mind shying away from what might have happened if anyone else had been in here with them.
He leaned up and kissed at Adam's jawline, messy and wet, and one of Adam's hands was cupping his face again, and Adam was sliding two long fingers into Kris's mouth. Kris sucked at them, and his brain was sending him crazy thoughts about other things of Adam's that he could suck and he tried to think about Katy and her soft curves but he couldn't quite... he couldn't even remember what color her eyes were anymore, because Adam was right there.
Adam pulled his fingers out of Kris's mouth and reached around and- Oh, that's what he'd been doing, Kris thought hazily, as Adam pushed both of them into his ass. It hurt, too much-too fast, but it was too slow, not enough, and so Kris pushed back into them anyway, gritting his teeth against the pain. He could vaguely hear Adam's voice, and he was apologizing, sorry and baby and please and need you so much.
Adam's fingers weren't wet enough, catching and rubbing uncomfortably inside him, and it was still the best thing Kris had ever felt. He bit down against Adam's shoulder to keep from begging for more, but his hips were doing the talking for him, as he pushed back against Adam's fingers, fucking himself on them.
Then Adam was pulling them out and Kris whined in protest, and he'd never felt empty before, but then Adam kissed him and Kris could lose himself in that for a while, sucking on Adam's tongue. "Baby, need to fuck you, okay?" It was barely a question, because Adam was already tugging open his pants. "So, you gotta get it wet, can you- can you please?"
Kris slithered backwards, off the couch, and Adam's hand was on the back of his neck, and his breath caught in his throat when he saw Adam's cock - so much bigger than his fingers - but he didn't hesitate to open his mouth as Adam guided him toward it. He wrapped his lips around the head and tried frantically to remember everything that Katy had ever done right for him - teeth were bad, wet was good, don't give a fuck about the mess - and did his best to apply it to Adam.
His teeth scraped against Adam's skin a couple of times before he figured out what to do and his tongue got in his way at first, nearly choking him when Adam thrust up into his mouth. Adam's hand slide up, anchoring itself in Kris's hair and... and that was easier, to just relax and let Adam be in charge of everything. Adam's cock bumped against the back of his throat and Kris whimpered. He'd never... Katy had never gotten the hang of going all the way down and Kris couldn't believe how much he wanted it.
There was, he was pretty sure, not a chance in the world he could successfully do it right now, but the longing in itself was startling.
Kris didn't know how long he'd been licking and sucking at Adam's dick when Adam pulled him off, but he scrambled back up on Adam's lap eagerly, pressing his trembling mouth against Adam's shoulder. Adam's fingers were back at his entrance, wet again, which he must have done himself, and it hurt less this time.
Then Adam was boosting him up and- sweet fucking God, it was agony, too big, too much, and Kris couldn't even breathe. And Adam was apologizing over and over in a broken voice, but he wasn't pulling out. Maybe he couldn't. Adam wouldn't- Adam wouldn't hurt him on purpose.
Because- because the hunger wasn't gone. Even though Kris was feeling a little like he'd just been stabbed, with a sharp and bright pain that echoed through his whole body, he still wanted. He'd rather have Adam inside and it hurt than not have Adam at all.
He sniffled slightly, burying his face against Adam's neck - he hadn't even noticed when tears had sprung to his eyes - and whispered, "More. Please."
The pain dulled into a persistent ache as Adam slowly tugged Kris down onto his cock. Kris licked his lips, rolling his hips slightly. He winced from the twinge of pain, but then did it again. It was the best-worst feeling he'd ever had and his fingers were so tight on Adam's arms that he was sure he was going to leave marks.
He blinked away his tears and lifted up his face, seeking out Adam's mouth for a kiss. That... that helped, a sensation of sheer pleasure to contrast against the ache of Adam's cock stretching out his ass. And, finally, he was resting against Adam's pelvis, all the way down. He took in a deep breath. The fog was lifting off his brain, though he still felt the pounding desire that had taken them to this point.
"So tight," Adam moaned into Kris's mouth. "Too tight, Kris, fuck I'm so-"
Kris cut off Adam's apology with a hard kiss. When he broke the kiss, he reached up and cupped Adam's chin with his hand, making Adam look at him. "This is not your fault. I-" Kris shivered, rocking his hips against Adam's. The pain was already starting to fade, though he still felt too dry inside, the friction of Adam's cock hurting as much as the stretch. "I feel it, too, okay. It's not you; not ever you." And Kris took a shuddering breath and told Adam his only real secret, not that it was much of one. "Love you, have for a while, everything but the sex part. Not gonna stop."
Adam nodded, slowly, still not looking like he believed Kris. Kris pulled him into another kiss, desperately trying to make Adam feel it. He grabbed Adam's hand and put it on his cock, which was hard, pre-come leaving sticky spots on his skin. Everything but sex, he'd said, but here was sex and Kris was feeling it just as badly as Adam, so it wasn't anyone's fault. And Kris didn't know what he'd do if they went through this thing and Adam wasn't still there for him on the other side of it.
He rolled his hips again and it was starting to feel... nice now. He closed his eyes and let the good parts wash over him, concentrated on those and tried to let the pain fade away. Adam was leaving tiny kisses all over his face, his hands stroking against Kris's skin so, so lightly that it was almost like they weren't there. Now that Adam was so close to him, the burning need had twisted into a soft, lingering joy that sang under his skin wherever Adam was touching him.
His fingers loosened their tight grip on Adam's arms and he just... he just touched Adam, noticing all the things that he'd never looked hard enough to noticed before - the freckles, like Adam had scattered glitter all over himself one day and it had sunken in; the way Adam's work-outs were starting to put clear definition into his muscles; how soft it was, probably because Adam used eighteen-million moisturizers every day. “You're beautiful,” he said, and he could hear the wonder in his own voice, and Adam looked up at him, eyes wide. Kris traced his fingers along a line of freckles and Adam's mouth had dropped open a little and he looked... young and vulnerable and Kris just wanted to stay here forever. “You are so very beautiful,” he said again, leaning down to brush a kiss across a red mark he'd left on Adam's shoulder.
“Please don't,” Adam whispered. He was jerking up into Kris tight and smooth, his hand gliding down Kris's back to rest just above his ass. “Don't do this to me, please.”
Kris shook his head, puzzled. “I don't- I don't understand.” He kissed the corner of Adam's mouth, licked at it until Adam parted his lips to let Kris in. His other hand lightly brushed across the head of Kris's cock, and they just kissed for several long, languid moments, and Kris could barely remember what it'd felt like to be hurting. “What am I doing wrong?”
Adam laughed, his voice shaking. “Nothing, honey. That's the problem.”
Kris wrinkled his nose up, wishing that Adam would just explain, but then Adam's hand started moving faster on his cock, encouraging Kris to fuck himself down on Adam's cock, and that was- that was distracting.
He managed to find Adam's mouth again before he came, burying a wordless moan inside it. Adam's hips jerked up against him a few times and then- oh, he could feel Adam coming just because it made the slide of Adam's cock inside him so much easier. If it'd... if it'd been like that earlier, it might not have hurt at all. He could definitely... he could see why guys did this.
He settled down against Adam, and he could actually feel an odd release that had to be the drug leaving his system. But he still- he ached, but Adam's cock inside him still felt- it felt okay. “Huh,” Kris said, rocking thoughtfully. Adam was mostly soft now, starting to slip out, but it was-
And Adam lifted him up, pulling his cock out, and Kris had to say a soft “oh” as he felt it leave. He felt... strange and... empty, like he had before, but he was pretty sure that it was just- that it was just him now.
Adam was tucking himself back into his pants and- his hands were shaking. Kris covered them with his own and said, “Hey, hey.” And when Adam kept looking down, Kris sharpened his tone. “Adam, look at me.” Adam's gaze shot up, and he looked- fuck, he looked so scared. Kris immediately softened his voice again. “Oh, baby, it's okay. I promise that it's okay.”
“How can-” Adam took in a deep breath, turning his hands over and clutching back at Kris's. “I- I fucked you. I hurt you. How can that ever be okay?”
“No,” Kris said, firmly. Yeah, his ass hurt, but when it had been happening, he'd wanted it, too. “This was some bizarre, weird drug that did this to us. I cheated on Katy. I don't think she's going to hate me forever for it once she knows about us being drugged. You are not going to blame yourself and you are not going to pull away from me.”
“Bossy,” Adam said, but there was a hint of a smile at the corners of his mouth. “You are the strangest straight boy in the world - you know that, right?”
Kris shrugged. He was- he really needed to talk to Katy before he brought up any possible changes that might exist now. “I'm just being me.”
“Yeah,” Adam said. “That's what makes it so strange.” Then he looked down at them and grimaced. “Okay, I'm going to go get cleaned up. You want to come with me?”
“Go ahead,” Kris said, letting go of Adam's hands. “I need to- get dressed again.”
Adam nodded, and then he picked up his shirt and pulled it back over his head, heading out into the aisle of the bus - though not without a look back over his shoulder at Kris, still looking confused and probably, like Kris himself, feeling more than a little overwhelmed.
Kris watched Adam go and just let himself stay sprawled out on the couch for a little bit longer, trying to organize his thoughts. He wasn't sure- he knew that the drug was gone, had felt it leaving his system after his orgasm. And that meant the fact that he still thought Adam was hot, that the ache inside him wasn't all bad memories, all that stuff was potentially a problem. One of his most important conversations with Katy had involved telling her that, yeah, he loved Adam, but he didn't want to have sex with him, so she had nothing to worry about.
Whatever else this might mean for the both of them, that 'fact' had changed. And he didn't think he could turn it off.
Kris sighed and put his clothes back on and then, with a slight shudder, he picked up the box. He made his way out of the bus and looked around hopefully, finally spotting a garbage can. He opened it up, wrinkled his nose, shifted some of the trash out of the way, and buried the damn thing.
Then he went off to take a shower.
Where, hopefully, he wouldn't think about Adam.
~end~