Fic: Everything in a Day (Kris/Adam; American Idol)
Title: Everything in a Day
Summary: Kris keeps his promise to Adam and comes out at the Grammys.
Pairing: Kris/Adam
Rating: NC-17; Sexual Content
Notes: Sequel to LoveGame. Word count ~9600.
Everything in a Day
“You look like a Chippendales' dancer.”
Kris turned to glare at Daniel, who blinked innocently back at him. Then he looked into the mirror, his eyes widening.
“I do,” he muttered in agreement. “Why do I let him talk me into these things?”
“Honey, you volunteered,” Adam said, poking his head through the curtain. “And I think you look gorgeous. Don't listen to that brother of yours. He doesn't have an ounce of taste.” When he came through the rest of the way, Kris groaned at the sight of the pile of four different shoe boxes that he was carrying.
“This whole thing is stupid,” Daniel said. “You should have just hauled off and kissed him in public one day. Boom, you're out, the world isn't over, and you can go to the Grammys without all the pressure of remembering to come out at some point during the night.”
“A promise is a promise,” Adam said, sliding the boxes onto one of the stools and pulling the top off the first one. Kris wriggled his bare toes into the thick carpet of the store and looked back in the mirror.
The main problem with the suit was that it was shiny. It was shiny and tight. It was shiny and tight and even Kris could tell that the pants made his ass look, in Adam's words, “extra fuckable” and, in Daniel's words, like a stripper's.
“Besides,” Adam said, putting a pair of black shoes (that - to Kris's inexpert eye - looked exactly like the ones that Adam had made him try on an hour ago) down on the bench next to Kris. “Since I know there's a time limit on it, I'm actually enjoying having Kris all to myself right now.” He ran his hand down the line of buttons on Kris's shirt and tugged him in for a kiss while Daniel made an exaggerated gagging sound in the background.
“Bite me,” Kris said to Daniel, without heat. The fact that Daniel treated Adam's affection for Kris with the same over-the-top annoyance that he'd always shown whenever Kris and Katy had gotten “too sweet” with each other was actually really comforting. “What time are mom and dad getting here?”
“When did I turn into the responsible one?” Daniel muttered, and he yanked out a notebook, flipping it open with a loud and exasperated sigh. “Their flight comes in at three. I don't know why you're so obsessed with having them here.”
Kris cleared his throat, carefully looking away from both Daniel and Adam. “I haven't told them yet.”
“Wait, what?” Daniel asked. “But... but the last time you were on the phone with mom, you said 'me and Adam send you our love'. I heard you.”
“She thinks that I'm helping him through the trying time of his divorce,” Adam said but he brushed a light kiss over Kris's cheek, so Adam wasn't holding it against him. After all, everyone would know after tonight.
“It's been almost four months,” Daniel said. “I mean, not even Kristopher is that pathetic.”
Adam cuffed Daniel lightly over the head, affecting a soft growl. Daniel pretended to shy away in fear, batting at Adam's hands.
“I get it, I get it,” Daniel said, still fending off Adam. “No teasing the brother. Sheesh. You steal all my fun.”
Adam grinned, his faux fierceness blinking away in an instant. “Better believe it, kid.”
“Wait... so if mom doesn't know about you and Adam, why does she think she's coming out tonight?” Daniel asked.
“I am still up for a Grammy,” Kris pointed out. “She probably figures that's why; that I want moral support. Some people still consider the Grammys to be a fairly important thing.”
“I hated that song,” Daniel said, and he seemed to take a gleeful joy in saying it. “It was sappy and overwrought. Plus, you can't dance to it.”
“Maybe you can't dance to it,” Adam said, voice silky. He circled around Daniel and made his way back to Kris, running his fingers up Kris's arm. “I love it.” Kris shook Adam's hand off, his cheeks heating up. Adam seemed to take that as a challenge, pressing his fingers against the pulse point in Kris's wrist, the place where Kris had promised to get a tattoo once he'd worked out what he wanted the design to be. Kris shivered, licking his lips, and suddenly, the room was way too small for three people.
“Hey, Danny-boy,” Kris said, mouth quirking up when Daniel rolled his eyes. “You wanna wait for us outside?”
“Why would-” Then Daniel took another look at them. “Are you serious? In a dressing room?” And he was backing out of the room so fast that he didn't bother to close the curtain behind himself.
Adam chuckled. “Oh, wow. Your kid brother's sex life sounds sadly vanilla, baby.”
“I honestly could not give a fuck about Daniel right now,” Kris said, dropping back to sit on the bench, reaching out to push the shoes off so that he would have more room. “You can trouble-shoot his romantic failures some other time. Right now, I just want to blow you.” Some part of him couldn't believe that he was still so hungry for Adam, all the time. Ever since the first time he'd kissed Adam, he constantly ached for Adam's touch, never quite able to shake the need.
“Do you want me to-”
“The entire city of Los Angeles could be watching and I wouldn't care,” Kris said, and since Adam was being slow, he reached out and tugged at Adam's twisted belt, undoing the stupid complexity of it with the ease of practice. He pulled out Adam's cock and leaned over just a little to lick at the head, wrapped his hand around the base. He could remember- he remembered that Katy had never liked giving blowjobs and he'd just assumed that they were only ever fun for the person getting them.
The first time he'd sucked Adam's cock, he'd learned differently. Adam had, Kris decided long ago, the most perfect cock in the world - it was big enough that it stretched his mouth and throat, and it was straight and heavy on his tongue. There were freckles scattered along it, too, though Adam hated to admit that, and Kris loved to lick tiny lines to connect them. His first time, he'd choked when Adam had come in his mouth and that taste hadn't been... it wasn't a pleasant taste, but he'd kinda loved it anyway.
He still did.
He reached up and cupped Adam's balls with his other hand, rolling them around gently. Adam's fingers were in his hair, light but still possessive. Kris arched his neck slightly, bumping his head up against Adam's hand shamelessly and sighing happily when Adam started petting through his hair.
“I love when you get like this,” Adam said and he kept talking through the rest of the blowjob, telling Kris how pretty he looked, what a good boy he was, how much he was looking forward to fucking Kris later, to being able to fuck Kris while knowing that the whole world knew about them. And Kris's cheeks had to be stained crimson from his blushes, and his jaw was starting to ache a little, but he just pressed closer to Adam, breathed through his nose, and let himself exist in the moment.
It only took another couple of minutes and then Adam came, part of it pooling inside Kris's mouth for a second as Adam pulled back. Swallowing was just habit by now, and then Kris moved away reluctantly, gently tucking Adam back into his pants. Adam rubbed a heavy thumb over Kris's lips and Kris grinned lazily, playfully nipping at Adam's fingers.
“You have no idea how much I needed that,” Kris said, leaning forward to press a light kiss against Adam's stomach. Adam scrubbed his hand through Kris's hair and Kris just let himself breathe against Adam's skin for a while.
“You're really scared, aren't you?” Adam asked, and concern in his voice just made Kris tuck his face against Adam even more, and, yeah, of course, he was. “We don't- we can wait. Just because I thought it would be... be funny for us to do it this way, we don't have to, not if you're not ready.”
Kris pressed another soft kiss against Adam's belly and then looked up, doing his best to smile. “I'm not doing that to you. Not again. I promised. No more pretending, remember?” Adam was still looking unsure, so Kris wrapped his hands around Adam's wrists and tugged, scooting back on the bench so that Adam could kneel between his legs. He darted forward, brushing a kiss just below Adam's right ear. He shifted, laying more kisses along the line of Adam's jaw, leaning up to press his lips just below Adam's eye, then he pulled back slightly and licked at Adam's nose. Adam was smiling now, and Kris tugged him into a breathless kiss, releasing his grip on Adam's wrists as Adam slid his arms around Kris's back, pulling him up into the kiss.
One of Adam's hands slipped under Kris's suit jacket, tugging up his shirt, and Kris laughed and backed out of the kiss.
“We don't have time,” Kris said, shifting away slightly, though he could only go so far with Adam's arms around him. “I need to pick out shoes, remember?”
“It's only one; there's plenty of time,” Adam said, chasing Kris's mouth. Kris turned his head away and Adam caught him on the corner of his mouth. Adam pressed determined fingers against Kris's jaw and turned him into the kiss, and Kris sighed into Adam's mouth, resistance melting. It was perfection for about a minute and then Adam's cell rang; they kept kissing through the first half of his ringtone and then Kris ducked out of the kiss reluctantly. It was the ringtone that Adam used for official RCA business, so he really needed to answer it. Adam pouted for the briefest of moments, and then he answered the phone, not a hint of what he'd just been doing in his voice.
Kris looked over at where the pair of shoes had landed when Kris had- well, earlier. He tried them on and they fit just fine. He glanced over at Adam, still on the phone, looking very serious and sexy and professional, and decided that, really, this pair of shoes was good enough.
And if he and Adam hurried home, they might have time to be alone before he had to go pick up his parents - not that he used those exact words when he explained it to Daniel; he merely let Daniel know that his presence really wasn't required at the house and they would just meet up later at the airport.
From Daniel's suspicious look, he probably guessed the truth anyway.
Daniel was gone by the time Adam came out of the dressing room. Adam seemed disappointed when he heard that Kris had already paid for his clothes, which was silly. Just because Adam had helped him pick them out didn't mean that Adam needed to pay for them, even if he was friends with the clerk. They managed to get out of the store without any cameras finding them, something of a minor miracle. This wasn't a neighborhood where Adam's mustang stood out all that much, luckily.
They ended up having enough time at the house for Kris to get a quick handjob, which was nice, but then he had to turn right around and leave again. He ended up getting to the airport about ten minutes late, but Daniel and his parents were still hanging around the luggage claim, waiting for the bags to come out, so it was okay. He had to sign a couple of autographs along the way, but L.A. was pretty chill and Kris wasn't 'the American Idol' anymore, so it wasn't a big deal.
Both his parents had to give him hugs, of course, and Kris was happy enough to do that, though his palms had started sweating a little. They loved Adam already, he reminded himself. It wasn't going to be a big deal at all.
Daniel had been staying at the house while he was in L.A., but his parents were going to be staying in Kris's apartment. Finally, they got the bags and had gotten back to Kris's place, and Kris showed them the 'guest room' - though it was really the master bedroom, of course, since it wasn't like Kris was using it. His mama seemed confused about something at first, looking around the place with a furrowed brow.
“Is something wrong?” he asked her, glancing over at the clock for a second. He still had to get back to home to Adam so that he could change.
“It's so clean,” she said, turning around in a slow circle. “Doesn't look much like a bachelor's apartment. Doesn't look much anybody's apartment at all.”
“Well,” Kris said, rocking back on his heels a little. Now that she mentioned it, he saw it, too. In the living room at home, his guitar was still lying on the table, because he'd forgotten to put it away last night. Adam had left a half-opened book on one of the side-tables this morning. He'd left a glass on the kitchen counter, the remnants of milk still clinging to sides. Nothing like that was here, because he didn't live here. He hadn't ever lived here; had signed the papers the day before Adam's... enthusiastic 'yes' to him and he'd only kept it because he had a six-month lease and he didn't want to cause a fuss. “There's a reason for that.”
His dad laid a steady hand on his shoulder and Kris breathed in sharply. Normally, he'd be grateful for his dad's support but, right now, it felt ten times heavier than it should.
“Oh, honey, that's- are we going to meet her?” his mom asked, lighting up. She waved a hand at Daniel, who was frowning, though not for the reasons that mom was guessing at, Kris would wager. “I know, it's a little soon after the divorce, but we all know that he and Katy had been drifting apart for months.” She came forward and snatched up Kris's hand between hers. “I just want you to be happy.”
Kris swallowed. “That's good.” His eyes met Daniel's, briefly, and Daniel nodded at him, smiling just a little. Then Kris turned his gaze back down to his mom. “I- I did meet someone. And I'm very happy. I don't think I've ever been happier.”
She was glowing with anticipation and he couldn't- he couldn't stand quite so close. He ducked away from both of them and he knew that he was looking jittery and nervous, but he couldn't help it.
“Who is it, son?” his dad asked, and Kris turned to look at them. They were so perfect together, always had been. Sure, there'd been fights over the years, but nothing serious. They'd always been there for each other and for him.
“It's actually someone that you've already met,” he said, starting to relax a little.
“Oh,” his mom said, deflating slightly. “It's... not Allison, is it? Don't get me wrong, she's a lovely thing and I adore her, but she's a little... young for you, don't you think?”
“Allison is not the only woman I know in L.A. that I've introduced to you,” Kris said, crossing his arms over his chest. “And of course it isn't her. She- she's- she's like a... a little sister to me.”
“That Megan girl?” his dad asked and Kris just had to- to cover his eyes in exasperation. “She seems more your type anyway, if you ask me.”
“Please stop guessing,” he said. He peeked through his fingers and it seemed like they might actually give him a chance to talk now. He lowered his hands and took another steadying breath. “Like I said, it's someone that you've met. Actually, someone you know really well.”
“Well.” His mom raised an eyebrow. “Who is it?”
“Adam,” Kris said, and he couldn't look at her when he said it, though he knew that he should be brave enough to do at least that. He ended up looking past the both of them, off at a painting that the apartment had come with; it was nothing that he would have picked out. “It's Adam.”
“Sweetheart, I don't think we heard you right,” his mom said, with that edge in her voice that meant she wanted an explanation and fast. “Is it one of Adam's friends?”
“He's gay,” Daniel said, loud and as though it was something he'd been holding back, and Kris closed his eyes, though that couldn't block out Daniel's voice. “Or bisexual, maybe. It doesn't really matter. And if either of you had been paying attention, you'd have guessed it back when I figured it out. He's been in love with Adam for months. Years, for all I know.”
“Do you mean- was this before the divorce?” And his mom's voice was so quiet. “Kristopher, did you- with Adam?”
“What's wrong with Adam?” Kris asked, opening his eyes. His hands tightened briefly into fists, and he deliberately relaxed them, tucking them into the pockets of his jeans. His parents were just surprised. His mom loved Adam and she wouldn't imply anything bad about him. “I did something wrong, but it's not worse because it was with Adam.”
“That's not what I-” she cut herself off, her hand lifting to cover her mouth. “I'm just... it wasn't something that I'd considered. You've never shown any tendencies in that direction.”
“Of course he did,” Daniel scoffed. “You just didn't notice.”
“Please, you're not helping,” Kris said, sending a hard look in Daniel's direction. Daniel threw up his hands and left the apartment, though he closed the door politely enough, so he couldn't be as mad as all that. Kris turned back to his parents, who hadn't moved. “I've wanted to tell you for a while.”
“Does Katy know?” his dad asked, finally speaking.
“Yeah,” Kris said, though he had no plans on telling them the details. “She knows. She knew from the beginning. And I talked to her after the divorce. She pretty much knows everything.”
“She didn't tell us,” his mom said. Kris pressed his lips together and did his very best not to yell at his mama.
“She agreed not to tell anyone until me and Adam were ready,” Kris said, evenly. “And... I don't think she wanted to be known as the ex-wife of the gay Idol.”
“Are you?” she asked. “Did we really miss so much?”
“No, no, you didn't,” he said, taking a step toward her - she took a quick step back and that was- he blinked, reminding himself to stay in control, that it didn't have to mean anything. It didn't mean that she didn't want to touch him. “Mama, Adam's the first guy I ever- anything.”
“How can I believe that?” she asked. Kris looked over at his dad, hoping and praying. His dad reached out and rubbed mom's arm in comfort, and he was looking away from Kris's eyes. “You cheated on your wife.”
“Is that really what's bothering you?” Kris asked, and she couldn't meet his eyes, either. “You- you've always loved Adam.”
“Before I knew what he was doing to my son,” she said, and she gasped right after, her hand flying up to her mouth. “Oh, honey, that's not-”
“He has never done a thing to hurt anyone.” His hands were in fists now, his breath coming too quickly. “You can think whatever you want about me, but don't you dare say that it's his fault.”
“Now, you know that I like Adam,” his dad said, and he was using his church voice, the one that Kris had always paid attention to, no matter what. “But there comes a point when you have to ask yourself if the changes you've made in your life are really what's best for you. Kristopher, I'm not doubting that you have feelings for Adam, but look at your life. Look what it's become.”
“Wonderful,” Kris said, raising up his chin. “My life is wonderful.”
“A life of hiding can't make you happy,” his dad said. “I know you too well, son.”
“I won't be hiding,” Kris said. “Not after tonight.”
“What?” Mom probably wasn't even trying to hide her surprise.
“Me and Adam are coming out as a couple at the Grammys,” Kris said and he could have been gentler about it, but he wasn't in the mood any more. “We've been planning it for a while.”
“Now, that's exactly what I mean,” his dad said. “I can't imagine you chasing after media attention like that before you met Adam.” Kris's mouth dropped open for a moment while he took that in. Then he nodded, tight and sharp.
“Adam doesn't chase after media attention,” Kris said, coldly. “He just attracts it. I'll... I'll talk to you after the show.”
His mom said his name, but Kris started walking and didn't stop until he reached his car. Neither of them had followed him. He pressed Adam's number in with a shaking finger and Adam picked up right away.
“How did-”
“I need you so bad,” Kris said and, fuck, he was crying. He wiped away the tears and tried to sound reasonably together to Adam. “I'm on my way.”
“Oh, baby. I'll be here.” And that was all Adam said. It was all he needed to say.
Adam was waiting on the doorstep when Kris got there, and Kris just rushed into his arms, and-
He inhaled sharply, letting Adam's comforting scent surround him. Adam's embrace was strong and warm and just the support that he'd needed. Adam was whispering in his ear, his tone low and reassuring. Kris closed his eyes and... he let himself weep, holding tightly to Adam's arms. When his tears finally seemed to dry out, he pulled back a little, touching his fingers to the wet spots on Adam's shirt. “It didn't go so well,” he whispered.
And Adam was tilting his head up gently, wiping at his cheeks, before pressing a tender kiss against his mouth. Kris pushed up into the kiss with a grateful whimper and this was- Adam was the best thing that had ever happened to him. He'd always known that, no matter what else had been going on in their lives - meeting Adam had only ever been a good thing.
“If you want to wait, we don't have to do this tonight,” Adam said, softly. “You can just collect your trophy and we don't have to say a thing.”
“You cannot just assume that I'm going to win,” Kris said, relaxing a little into the easy familiarity of this argument. And, though he hadn't ever needed the proof that his dad wasn't right, there it was in Adam's offer. “They'll call someone else's name and you'll start shouting that they got it wrong.”
“Well, if you don't win, they did get it wrong,” Adam said, firmly. “Seriously, baby, we can do it low-key instead. We don't need to make a fuss.”
“Oh, we're doing this,” Kris said, and his grief was fading... or maybe just getting buried under the low tide of anger that was sweeping through his body. “Because if I do win, there's not a chance in hell that I'm not thanking the man that I'm in love with.” Then he grinned and tugged at Adam's shirt, pushing the anger back for now - Adam didn't deserve to be caught in any of that. “You really should change; tear stains are so out of fashion.”
“Hmm, not sure I can do it on my own,” Adam said, taking a step back toward the doorway, one of his eyebrows cocking slightly. “Might need some help.” And that was just an irresistible temptation.
Afterwards, in their bedroom, Adam held him for a while, and Kris rubbed his hand over the hairs on Adam's chest - it was the little things that got to him, when he thought about them. Hair on Adam's chest and the deepness of his voice when he moaned and the way he could pick Kris up and move him like Kris's weight didn't matter at all. The big things, like wanting to suck Adam's dick and liking it when Adam fucked him, those had been what he'd worked through first with Pastor Davidson, back when he'd realized how strong his feelings for Adam were and had gone searching for a gay-friendly church group. The smaller things, though, they kept surprising him. Or, to be honest, he kept being surprised by how much he liked them.
He'd always known that he was attracted to guys, but it used to be something tiny, something he could hide behind Katy's hazel-warm eyes and the way she looked when she twirled around in a summer dress. He hadn't ever even bothered to think of himself as bisexual - since the first time Katy had as much as asked him out, he'd pretty much just been hers. Even when she'd broken up with him, he'd been hers. He'd thought that he'd always be hers.
He hadn't been expecting Adam.
Kris sighed, leaning over to press his mouth to the skin just under Adam's nipple. Adam laughed and said something about “not enough time” and pushed him away, and Kris sprawled back in the sheets, watching in admiration as Adam rose out of the bed.
Adam's freckles were like a private in-joke, almost. The last time Kris had talked to Brad, they'd spent almost twenty minutes coming up with increasingly over-the-top ways to describe them - everything from the spiral of the Milky Way to the spattering of a paint gun. Brad had been surprisingly awesome about their whole relationship, though he kept trying to make Kris blush by asking if he and Adam had ever done - insert far-too-graphically-described sex act here - and, when he did make Kris blush, he'd try to guess if it was a 'yes, we have' or a 'no, not yet' variety of blush. Adam had, apparently, not told Brad about Kris and Adam's pre-divorce relationship, because he seemed surprised that they gotten to some stuff 'so quickly'. And Kris was happy enough to keep him in the dark for now.
“I'm gonna grab some water,” Adam said, reaching up and stretching toward the ceiling. These being crazy California homes, he couldn't actually reach it, but Kris was sure that he'd be able to lay his palms flat against the ceiling of Kris's parents' home in Arkansas. The entwined musical notes tattooed on Adam's right shoulder twisted as he turned back to smile sleepily at Kris. “Want anything?”
“Wouldn't say no to a coke,” Kris said, reflexively, though he was trying to take in less sugar these days. Ah, well, it was the sort of day where he'd earned it. Adam winked at him, started to head away and then he stopped, putting a hand on his hip as he looked at Kris.
“What kind of coke?” Adam asked, proving that the boy could be trained. Kris grinned at him.
“A Sprite, please. Sir,” he said, then he dropped his head back into the pillows and relaxed, knowing that Adam would let him know when he needed to get ready. When Adam came back with the bottles, Kris sat up and snuggled back against the soft headboard, pulling his knees up and wrapping an arm around them. The nightstand was within easy reach, so he twisted off the cap and set them both down on the bare wood. Adam cleared his throat and Kris rolled his eyes, leaning over to slide a coaster toward the end of the nightstand and then putting his Sprite on it.
“Spill,” Adam said, tapping the bottom of his water bottle against Kris's knee. “What'd they say?”
Kris shook his head, curling his toes into the sheets. “Stupid stuff. Doesn't matter.” He shrugged. “They'll come 'round.”
“Baby, though you came close once or twice, I've never seen you crying before,” Adam said, wrapping his free hand around Kris's left knee, squeezing reassuringly. “Not full-on tears. And we have been through some serious shit together.”
Kris glanced down at his feet, toenails still showing traces of green nailpolish from the last time Adam had gone on a private glam-up spree, and let out a soft breath. “They just- they weren't expecting it. I guess I... surprised them.” He reached out and put his hand over Adam's, tucking his fingers underneath Adam's palm. “It wasn't anything, really. I was just being too sensitive.”
“You are the most laid-back guy I've ever known, so I'm guessing that's bullshit,” Adam said, and he leaned down and brushed his mouth against Kris's hand, then he turned it over and delicately kissed Kris's wrist. He looked up and once Adam was actually meeting his eyes, Kris couldn't look away again. “But it's obvious that you aren't going to say any more, so let's talk ink.”
“I still haven't decided,” Kris said... murmured, really, since he and Adam were so close that he didn't need to talk loud. And Adam was one of the few non-Southerners who almost always understood what Kris was saying, even when other people accused him of mumbling. “I want something that means peace, but not- not a dove or a peace sign or anything cliché like that.”
“No clichés means no Chinese or Japanese characters, either,” Adam said, thoughtfully, his thumb rubbing over Kris's pulse point. “I'll investigate and get you more options.”
“Nothing crazy,” Kris said, firmly, because sometimes Adam could get way too enthusiastic. “It has to be small enough to cover up with a wristband.”
“Yeah, yeah, I know,” Adam said, rolling his eyes, but if Adam listened to what Kris said the first time through, they wouldn't have needed to repaint their kitchen three times in two weeks. Granted, it would be a lot harder for Adam to get Kris's wrist tattooed while he wasn't paying attention, but it was the principle that counted here. Adam took up a lot of space, in more ways than the obvious, and Kris wasn't going to let the fact that Adam fucked him mean that Adam got control over everything in his life.
“What about your family?” Kris asked, wanting to talk about something bound to be upbeat. “Leila's not really holding a winner's party afterwards, is she? Because if I-”
“Don't worry about it,” Adam said. “She bought two sets of banners.”
It took a moment before Kris was brave enough to ask. “What's the other set say?”
“Happy Coming-Out!” Adam said brightly, resting his chin on Kris's knee. “I swear, she's almost more excited than I am. She wants to claim you in public.” His excitement dimmed slightly. “And she was looking forward to talking to Kim about it. Hopefully, she'll be able to help your parents accept you sooner.”
“That... that would be nice,” Kris said, and he couldn't help but smile. Leila, Eber and Amy, and Neil had all been so supportive over the last month and a half, though Neil hadn't been able to resist telling Adam, very loudly, that he'd guessed about Kris before Adam had known. “How many people did she invite to this thing? And how many of them already know?”
“Everyone and no one,” Adam said, then he pulled off Kris fluidly. “We really need to start getting ready.”
“You need to start getting ready,” Kris said, reaching over and taking a sip of his Sprite. “I'll get up in about half an hour.”
“Oh, no, you said I could dress you up for this,” Adam said. “That includes make-up.” He held up his hands, a little bit of water splashing out of the bottle he was holding. “Don't worry, though, it won't be anything crazy. Now, get that sweet ass up out of bed and get dressed.”
Adam doing his make-up was odd enough when he was just letting Adam mess around; having it happen and knowing that other people were going to see the results was slightly more nerve-wracking. But there was always something... sensual and almost erotic about it, about Adam gently smudging Kris's eyeliner with his pinky finger, about the soft tickling sensation of the brush he used for the blush, about the way he stroked on the color for Kris's lips, heavy and red. One of the reasons that Kris's make-up had never made it outside before likely had something to do with how he liked to see how the lipstick looked when it streaked against Adam's skin as Kris kissed him everywhere he could reach.
But they'd taken the edge off earlier, so Kris was only half-hard by the time Adam said that he was ready for the show. Adam moved so that Kris could look in the mirror and- he had to blink a little, trying to recognize himself. It wasn't... it wasn't that much of a change, but he looked so much more dramatic - the foundation and blush made his face look thinner and his cheekbones sharper, while the eyeliner, thicker than he'd ever let anyone else make it, made his eyes smoky and huge. The lipstick emphasized the fullness of his lower lip and he had to concentrate not to lick out at it to see if it tasted like cherries.
“You like?” Adam asked, smug smile on his lips.
“I guess I don't look like too much of an idiot,” Kris managed. Adam chuckled, rich and low. He'd finished his make-up first, so they were all done now. “So, we're arriving in the same limo, holding hands on the red carpet - do they actually need a kiss to figure things out, because this lipstick-”
“As long as you don't push so hard, your lipstick will be fine,” Adam said. “Though it's cute that you don't want to smudge it.”
Kris sputtered for a second, because that was not his point, but Adam was already up and leaving the room, with a casual call back at Kris not to make them late. He took one last look at himself in the mirror, his lips tightening for a second as he remembered what his dad had said. “I like who I'm turning into,” he said quietly, reaching forward to brush his fingers against his reflection.
Then he turned away and jogged to catch up to Adam, reaching him just outside the gate, where the limo was waiting - both he and Adam had obligations at the Grammys tonight, though Adam liked to say that he was 'just' presenting, but the car had been sent by Jive and the driver wasn't all that surprised to see both of them getting in. Everyone knew that Adam and Kris were joined at the hip, even if most people outside the 'gay underground' of L.A. still thought that Kris was straight and Adam was only being a good friend.
That was really the reason why Kris was thinking that they might need to kiss to get the point across - even holding hands might get dismissed as another stage in their platonic bromance. The fact that they lived together - and it was really obvious even if Kris did have a lease on a different place - was just explained by the fact that they liked to bounce song ideas off each other and Adam had his own studio in the house. Kris wasn't sure if the mainstream media was really that dense or if they were afraid to mention it for fear of looking stupid like... like in the Emperor's New Clothes. Because Kris knew for a fact that several fangroups were certain about his relationship with Adam. A few of them even had the timeline straight, though most of them thought it had started a lot earlier and he hadn't seen a single person guess right about Katy's involvement.
Of course, 'failed threesome attempt leading to a secret affair' wasn't the most likely possibility in the world. The crazy way his life had worked ever since he'd first tried out for American Idol still left him breathless. That he'd gotten into the show in the first place, that he'd been roommates with Adam, that they'd gotten to the top together, and all the success that had followed for both of them - it still felt like a dream. Some mornings, when he woke, he still half-expected to be back in his old apartment with Katy, fantasizing about a life that he couldn't ever live.
Kris glanced over at the darkened glass separating him and Adam from the driver and then shot a nervous smile in Adam's direction. The car was slowing and they were approaching the red carpet. Kris leaned toward Adam and breathed in, Adam's Dior Homme cologne a familiar and comforting scent. “Here we go,” he said to Adam, just as the limo came to a stop.
The door opened and the flashing and the noise started immediately. Adam gracefully hopped out of the car and Kris could hear the volume inch upward. Adam turned toward the limo and held out his hand, and... here it was, moment of truth.
Before he could lose his nerve, Kris put his hand in Adam's and let Adam tug him out of the car. But when Adam stopped pulling, Kris kept going, bouncing up on his toes to place a gentle kiss on Adam's surprised lips. The photographers and reporters were making tons of noise now and Kris couldn't see for the flash of the cameras, but Adam's mouth was against his and that was all he needed.
Adam slid an arm around Kris's back and pushed him up into the kiss, his lips parting slightly to invite Kris in. Kris's eyelids slid shut as he returned the favor, the noise of the crowd fading into the background, as his tongue danced out to brush against Adam's mouth. Adam's hand shifted down slightly, cupping Kris's ass and that- that was amazing, and Kris's hands reached up to hold onto Adam's collar and yank him down harder into the kiss but then he remembered what Adam had said, not to push so hard or he'd smear the make-up.
Kris blinked, and he came back to himself. He broke the kiss, the sound lost in the roar of the crowd and the clicking of cameras, and Adam's hand slid up from Kris's ass to the small of his back. Kris settled back down on his heels, needing to squint when he looked away from Adam, and he heard someone shout, in a high-pitched screech of shock, “Oh my god, it really is Kris Allen.”
And that was pretty much how the whole red carpet experience went, and Kris only really made it through because Adam never let go of him. Being actually inside was so much easier, if only because there were several people who already knew, tons who weren't surprised, and the rest either weren't rude enough to say anything or didn't give a fuck.
After all that, it was almost an anti-climax when he actually won for Song of the Year.
But he was up on stage, standing in front of his peers - part of him couldn't believe that that was true either, that all these real musicians had accepted him as one of their own - and after he made his pre-prepared thank-yous to God and the people who'd helped him, he did the one that mattered most, the one that he hadn't been able to find the words for until this moment.
“This is one of the most personal songs I've ever written,” he said and he looked out over the audience, finding Adam and keeping his gaze there for the rest of his speech. “It's about love; about being in love so deeply that the rest of the world almost seems to disappear. And, for me, that means it's about just one person. Every note, every word, all of it was written with him in mind.” And he knew that part of the speech was going to be particularly incendiary once people thought about it, since Midsummer had been written and released well before his divorce. “Thank you, Adam, for being the bravest, sweetest, best person that I know.” He held up the Grammy - well, the dummy Grammy. “This is for you, baby.”
And after he made his way backstage, he wasn't surprised to see that Adam had gone back there, too.
“How you feeling, Grammy winner?” Adam asked, snagging the lapel of Kris's jacket and tugging him close. “Hope you aren't cracking under the pressure because they do expect you to perform in about half an hour.”
“Oh, shut up,” Kris said, fondly. Adam's make-up was smudged a bit around the eyes, a complete tell that he'd shed a tear or two out there. Kris actually felt fantastic, to his own surprise. He'd been carrying around the weight of his love for Adam for close to two years, at least, and being able to say it - to say it to that many people - had felt like the greatest relief ever. “By the way, that? So much cooler than coming out in Rolling Stone. Just saying.”
“Damn you, Kris Allen,” Adam said, in a tone of mock despair, the corner of his mouth quirking up. “You've topped me again. How will I ever get my revenge?” He leaned in to whisper in Kris's ear. “Oh, well, I guess I'll just wait until the next time you desperately need a hard fuck.” Kris shivered, his eyes briefly closing in reaction.
And then it was Adam's turn to go out on stage to present, which went off with no hitches. Kris stayed backstage to watch, since Adam was right about not having too much time before he needed to perform. Luckily, Midsummer wasn't a song that needed a band - it was just Kris and a piano, all alone on stage with the heat of the spotlights trained on him.
Midsummer was one of those songs that had been easy for him to write - he'd written it almost in a fever, after Adam had called him to break off their affair. It had been a surprise to him when it hadn't been angry or depressed, but instead had been one of the most joyful songs he'd ever written. This is why I love you, the song said, because your honor is greater than your need. And everything that he'd done since that day had brought him to this moment, to being able to go out in front of hundreds of people - potentially millions sitting at home - and say without a second of hesitation that he adored Adam with every breath in his body.
So, he sat down on his piano bench, played the first chord, and then, with every note, he told everyone watching that this was how much he loved Adam. Enough to let him go, if he had to. Enough to walk away from everything safe in his life. Enough to go to Adam and offer himself, offer everything.
After the show, he and Adam manage to escape without getting accosted by too many reporters and when they got to Leila's afterparty, where both banners were proudly flying, they received a round of applause that left Kris's cheeks hot, and he lost track of how many hands he shook. All of Adam's friends, the people who already knew, were thrilled for Adam's sake that Kris was finally out, and everyone else at the party seemed pretty happy, too, though Kris had a couple of guys cheerfully complain that they wish they'd been the one to turn him. And Brad managed to smack his ass in the middle of congratulating him, but that was just Brad being Brad.
All of the other season eight Idol finalists were there, along with several others of the Top 36. Allison, who had known for about three weeks, gave him a tight hug and whispered, “I'm so fucking proud of you,” and Danny slapped him on the back and said, “I don't get it, man, but you've always made each other happy. Congratulations.”
Amy and Eber had brought a cake with Pride flag frosting and made Kris cut the first slice, so he called Adam over and made him eat a piece, right from Kris's hand. Of course, then Adam sucked his fingers clean and Kris's pants tightened, so Adam probably won that round. Anoop pushed a glass of red wine into Kris's hand and called for a toast and Kris smirked when he dedicated the round to not giving up on love, pointedly glancing over at Megan, who flushed brightly.
After a few more rounds of drinks, Alex Wagner-Trugman climbed up on a chair and spread his arms wide. “Like everyone else,” he said loudly. “I'm very happy for Kris and Adam. However, Kris, if you should ever find that Adam is not manly enough for you-” a hearty 'boo' filled the room and Trugs waved it down. “-or if he should otherwise break your heart, I would like to publicly offer to be your rebound. Thank you.” And then he toppled off the chair, his fall broken by a giggling Mishovanna.
“I can't believe so many of you are here,” Kris said to Alexis. She gave him a soft smile.
“Can't you?” she said. She waved around at the room - at Matt flirting with Leila in the corner and Michael talking seriously with Todd over by the drinks table, and Lil and her husband dancing to a soft-jazz piano tune being played by Scott. “You're our Idol. Maybe not the same way that you're Arkansas's, but we love you just as much.” Then her smile widened to a grin. “Plus, Adam paid airfare and hotel fees for anyone not currently living in L.A. - who's going to turn that down?”
“Was he really that sure I was going to win?” Kris asked. “Or was it about-”
“Either way, he figured you'd want as many friendly faces around as possible,” she said. “He's a really great guy, your boyfriend. Loves you a lot.”
“Yeah,” Kris agreed, easily finding Adam in the crowd - he was talking to his dad about something, his hands moving quickly to illustrate his point. “He really does.” As if Adam could sense him looking, his head turned, his eyes finding Kris's. He smiled, wide and happy, and Kris beckoned him over. Adam briefly turned toward his dad, said something that made Eber laugh, and then Adam broke away, wading through the crowd to reach Kris's side.
“So, how's the party?” Adam asked, reaching up to rub a finger just under Kris's lower lip. “Sorry, baby, your lipstick got a little smudged there.”
“Thanks,” Kris said, grabbing Adam's wrist before he could lower it all the way. He lifted Adam's hand back up, pressing his cheek against Adam's palm. “It was going great, but it's even better now.”
“You'll smear the rest of your make-up,” Adam warned him, but he was smiling.
“What the chances your parents will notice if we sneak off to a back room?” Kris asked.
“Way too high,” Adam said, laughing. “We are not having sex in my mother's house. No way.”
Kris pressed a warm kiss to the center of Adam's palm. “Nothing I can do to convince you?” he asked, in that low, heated tone that normally got results. Adam's eyes darkened, his tongue wetting his lips. He was so close to caving... and then Matt clapped Kris heartily on the shoulder, startling them both out of the moment. Adam's hand dropped down and away and Kris couldn't quite hide his pout.
“So, queer for Lambert,” Matt said, clearly half-way to being sloshed. “I knew it, you know. Guessed way back when the show was still airing. Do I win anything? Maybe a kewpie doll?”
“Another drink,” Adam said, carefully prying Matt's hand off Kris and giving him a push in the right direction. “You win another free drink.” Matt snorted with laughter and wandered off, snagging Danny's arm along the way and leaning his weight on him.
“I was, you know,” Kris said, quietly. Adam turned to him, looking slightly puzzled, brow drawn up. “From that first day you sang in Hollywood week, I couldn't stop talking about you. Matt was the first person to know how much I admired you.”
“Oh, is that what the kids are calling it,” Adam said, with a wicked smile. “Well, I admired you, too.”
“Fuck off,” Kris laughed, smacking Adam's arm. Adam grabbed Kris's hand, turning slightly more serious.
“I really did,” he said, softly. “I like to think... I like to think that I'm first person who really saw you, stupid and selfish and egotistical as it sounds. I heard you singing on that stage during Hollywood week and even if the judges didn't see it, I saw a star. I have been so happy for your success, baby, but I wasn't surprised. I knew you could do it. Always.” He brought up their tangled hands and brushed a kiss over Kris's knuckles. “It was never just about your pretty face.”
“Couldn't have done it without you,” Kris whispered, which was cliché and overwrought but it was also exactly how he felt. And he kissed Adam again, right in the middle of Leila's living room, and he heard the guests 'woo'ing and someone shouting out that they should get a room, but he kept on kissing Adam until he had to stop to take a breath. And he grinned when he saw that he'd left some of that dark red lipstick on Adam's face. “It's been a great party, Adam, but right now, I really wanna celebrate in private.”
It took another half an hour before they were finally out the door, because people kept stopping them to congratulated him - or Adam - and to say good-night. But then they were finally relatively on their own and being driven home. When they got dropped off, the driver gave them a wink and said, “Big news, boys, can't wait to read the headlines,” and Kris had to laugh all over again, waving him off. Adam being, well, Adam and roughly as famous as the Beatles, his house was pretty damn secure, so even on a night like this, they didn't have to worry about getting ambushed by the tabloid press. Gated communities had their perks.
They were alone in the house and Kris spared a brief thought about where Daniel was, but that was all he had time for before Adam was on him, stripping off his clothes and then doing the caveman thing where he lifted Kris up and slammed him against the wall. Kris moaned, his head thumping backwards and... yes, there was something about this, about letting Adam take him over, that was bigger than anything he'd ever felt before. Adam fucked him right then and there, made him scream so loudly that it echoed through the room, and then carried him upstairs and did it all over again on their bed.
“This seriously qualifies for the best day ever,” Kris said, and, wow, they really needed to wash these sheets now. Adam didn't say anything back and, when Kris poked him, he just snored and cuddled in closer. Kris glanced over at the nightstand, where the Sprite from earlier still stood. Next to it was his phone, which he'd dumped out after getting back from talking to his parents and hadn't touched the rest of the day. Yeah. It was probably time to deal with that. He wriggled out from under Adam and grabbed the phone, pulling on his boxers.
He went out to the hallway and hit the button for his voicemail.
“So, I went back to the apartment and mom and dad were freaking out,” Daniel said, his voice tight. “I'm gonna hang with them for the rest of the night. I'll try to make your party, but don't worry if I'm not there.”
There was a message from a particularly pissed-off assistant at Jive, asking him if he'd ever planned on telling them that he was gay and fucking Adam Lambert -- and she actually said “fucking” so they had to be really mad at him. He winced and deleted that one, too.
“Hey, sweetie.” It was Katy's voice, soft and light as he remembered from when they were younger, before all the crazy shit from the past couple of years. “Caught your kiss on Entertainment Tonight. Saw the make-up; you looked really good actually. Hey- I'm proud of you, okay? I'm not going to pretend that I don't hate what happened between us, but I will always love you. I'm so glad you're happy.” She sniffled and he could picture exactly what she looked like, her eyes red from trying not to cry, but the tears starting to slip down regardless. “Adam, if you're listening, don't you ever doubt that man of yours. He's one of the good ones.” Her voice softened. “I wish I'd remembered that. Good luck, you guys. It's not going to be easy for you.”
That message, Kris saved, and he'd be lying if he pretended it didn't make him tear up a little.
He quickly skipped through some more calls before landing on the one he'd both been longing to hear and yet been so afraid of - it was his mom's voice.
“Honey, we saw the show,” she said, her words coming slowly. “I hadn't- I hadn't realized you'd written that song for Adam. You know how much I always loved that song.” Kris nodded, remembering the day he'd first played it for his parents. His mom had leapt up and declared it 'her favorite' out of all the songs he'd written for the new album. “We talked to Daniel for a while and he caught us up on your life. On... your life with Adam. You're right, you know, we always did love Adam. And we always said that we didn't care whether or not he was gay; that it didn't matter. He has to... he has to be pretty disappointed in us right now.” She paused for a long moment. “I still don't understand. Neither of us understands. But you are our son and we love you. And if we made you doubt that-” her voice broke, and she took in a shuddering breath. “Oh, baby-doll, if we made you doubt that for even one second, I am so sorry.”
There was another pause, and then his dad was talking, voice gruff. “We can't take back what we said, but we do regret it. I regret what I said. Adam's not a bad influence; he never was. I hope- I hope you can remember that your parents are as human and as fallible as anyone else. As much as we strive to be like Jesus, to walk in God's light, we all fail sometimes. Wherever you are right now, please be happy. We'll call back in the morning. I love you, Kristopher. We love you so much.”
Kris pressed the phone against his mouth, silently shaking with relieved sobs. When he had himself under control, he went back into the bedroom and plugged his phone into the charger. Adam was sprawled across the bed, taking up all the space, but when Kris slipped in next to him, Adam shifted, his body curving toward Kris and making room, even in his sleep. Kris brushed a light kiss over Adam's cheek and snuggled in close to him, his mouth curving up into a smile.
Yeah, on his list of good days, this was pretty much the top.
~end~
Summary: Kris keeps his promise to Adam and comes out at the Grammys.
Pairing: Kris/Adam
Rating: NC-17; Sexual Content
Notes: Sequel to LoveGame. Word count ~9600.
Everything in a Day
“You look like a Chippendales' dancer.”
Kris turned to glare at Daniel, who blinked innocently back at him. Then he looked into the mirror, his eyes widening.
“I do,” he muttered in agreement. “Why do I let him talk me into these things?”
“Honey, you volunteered,” Adam said, poking his head through the curtain. “And I think you look gorgeous. Don't listen to that brother of yours. He doesn't have an ounce of taste.” When he came through the rest of the way, Kris groaned at the sight of the pile of four different shoe boxes that he was carrying.
“This whole thing is stupid,” Daniel said. “You should have just hauled off and kissed him in public one day. Boom, you're out, the world isn't over, and you can go to the Grammys without all the pressure of remembering to come out at some point during the night.”
“A promise is a promise,” Adam said, sliding the boxes onto one of the stools and pulling the top off the first one. Kris wriggled his bare toes into the thick carpet of the store and looked back in the mirror.
The main problem with the suit was that it was shiny. It was shiny and tight. It was shiny and tight and even Kris could tell that the pants made his ass look, in Adam's words, “extra fuckable” and, in Daniel's words, like a stripper's.
“Besides,” Adam said, putting a pair of black shoes (that - to Kris's inexpert eye - looked exactly like the ones that Adam had made him try on an hour ago) down on the bench next to Kris. “Since I know there's a time limit on it, I'm actually enjoying having Kris all to myself right now.” He ran his hand down the line of buttons on Kris's shirt and tugged him in for a kiss while Daniel made an exaggerated gagging sound in the background.
“Bite me,” Kris said to Daniel, without heat. The fact that Daniel treated Adam's affection for Kris with the same over-the-top annoyance that he'd always shown whenever Kris and Katy had gotten “too sweet” with each other was actually really comforting. “What time are mom and dad getting here?”
“When did I turn into the responsible one?” Daniel muttered, and he yanked out a notebook, flipping it open with a loud and exasperated sigh. “Their flight comes in at three. I don't know why you're so obsessed with having them here.”
Kris cleared his throat, carefully looking away from both Daniel and Adam. “I haven't told them yet.”
“Wait, what?” Daniel asked. “But... but the last time you were on the phone with mom, you said 'me and Adam send you our love'. I heard you.”
“She thinks that I'm helping him through the trying time of his divorce,” Adam said but he brushed a light kiss over Kris's cheek, so Adam wasn't holding it against him. After all, everyone would know after tonight.
“It's been almost four months,” Daniel said. “I mean, not even Kristopher is that pathetic.”
Adam cuffed Daniel lightly over the head, affecting a soft growl. Daniel pretended to shy away in fear, batting at Adam's hands.
“I get it, I get it,” Daniel said, still fending off Adam. “No teasing the brother. Sheesh. You steal all my fun.”
Adam grinned, his faux fierceness blinking away in an instant. “Better believe it, kid.”
“Wait... so if mom doesn't know about you and Adam, why does she think she's coming out tonight?” Daniel asked.
“I am still up for a Grammy,” Kris pointed out. “She probably figures that's why; that I want moral support. Some people still consider the Grammys to be a fairly important thing.”
“I hated that song,” Daniel said, and he seemed to take a gleeful joy in saying it. “It was sappy and overwrought. Plus, you can't dance to it.”
“Maybe you can't dance to it,” Adam said, voice silky. He circled around Daniel and made his way back to Kris, running his fingers up Kris's arm. “I love it.” Kris shook Adam's hand off, his cheeks heating up. Adam seemed to take that as a challenge, pressing his fingers against the pulse point in Kris's wrist, the place where Kris had promised to get a tattoo once he'd worked out what he wanted the design to be. Kris shivered, licking his lips, and suddenly, the room was way too small for three people.
“Hey, Danny-boy,” Kris said, mouth quirking up when Daniel rolled his eyes. “You wanna wait for us outside?”
“Why would-” Then Daniel took another look at them. “Are you serious? In a dressing room?” And he was backing out of the room so fast that he didn't bother to close the curtain behind himself.
Adam chuckled. “Oh, wow. Your kid brother's sex life sounds sadly vanilla, baby.”
“I honestly could not give a fuck about Daniel right now,” Kris said, dropping back to sit on the bench, reaching out to push the shoes off so that he would have more room. “You can trouble-shoot his romantic failures some other time. Right now, I just want to blow you.” Some part of him couldn't believe that he was still so hungry for Adam, all the time. Ever since the first time he'd kissed Adam, he constantly ached for Adam's touch, never quite able to shake the need.
“Do you want me to-”
“The entire city of Los Angeles could be watching and I wouldn't care,” Kris said, and since Adam was being slow, he reached out and tugged at Adam's twisted belt, undoing the stupid complexity of it with the ease of practice. He pulled out Adam's cock and leaned over just a little to lick at the head, wrapped his hand around the base. He could remember- he remembered that Katy had never liked giving blowjobs and he'd just assumed that they were only ever fun for the person getting them.
The first time he'd sucked Adam's cock, he'd learned differently. Adam had, Kris decided long ago, the most perfect cock in the world - it was big enough that it stretched his mouth and throat, and it was straight and heavy on his tongue. There were freckles scattered along it, too, though Adam hated to admit that, and Kris loved to lick tiny lines to connect them. His first time, he'd choked when Adam had come in his mouth and that taste hadn't been... it wasn't a pleasant taste, but he'd kinda loved it anyway.
He still did.
He reached up and cupped Adam's balls with his other hand, rolling them around gently. Adam's fingers were in his hair, light but still possessive. Kris arched his neck slightly, bumping his head up against Adam's hand shamelessly and sighing happily when Adam started petting through his hair.
“I love when you get like this,” Adam said and he kept talking through the rest of the blowjob, telling Kris how pretty he looked, what a good boy he was, how much he was looking forward to fucking Kris later, to being able to fuck Kris while knowing that the whole world knew about them. And Kris's cheeks had to be stained crimson from his blushes, and his jaw was starting to ache a little, but he just pressed closer to Adam, breathed through his nose, and let himself exist in the moment.
It only took another couple of minutes and then Adam came, part of it pooling inside Kris's mouth for a second as Adam pulled back. Swallowing was just habit by now, and then Kris moved away reluctantly, gently tucking Adam back into his pants. Adam rubbed a heavy thumb over Kris's lips and Kris grinned lazily, playfully nipping at Adam's fingers.
“You have no idea how much I needed that,” Kris said, leaning forward to press a light kiss against Adam's stomach. Adam scrubbed his hand through Kris's hair and Kris just let himself breathe against Adam's skin for a while.
“You're really scared, aren't you?” Adam asked, and concern in his voice just made Kris tuck his face against Adam even more, and, yeah, of course, he was. “We don't- we can wait. Just because I thought it would be... be funny for us to do it this way, we don't have to, not if you're not ready.”
Kris pressed another soft kiss against Adam's belly and then looked up, doing his best to smile. “I'm not doing that to you. Not again. I promised. No more pretending, remember?” Adam was still looking unsure, so Kris wrapped his hands around Adam's wrists and tugged, scooting back on the bench so that Adam could kneel between his legs. He darted forward, brushing a kiss just below Adam's right ear. He shifted, laying more kisses along the line of Adam's jaw, leaning up to press his lips just below Adam's eye, then he pulled back slightly and licked at Adam's nose. Adam was smiling now, and Kris tugged him into a breathless kiss, releasing his grip on Adam's wrists as Adam slid his arms around Kris's back, pulling him up into the kiss.
One of Adam's hands slipped under Kris's suit jacket, tugging up his shirt, and Kris laughed and backed out of the kiss.
“We don't have time,” Kris said, shifting away slightly, though he could only go so far with Adam's arms around him. “I need to pick out shoes, remember?”
“It's only one; there's plenty of time,” Adam said, chasing Kris's mouth. Kris turned his head away and Adam caught him on the corner of his mouth. Adam pressed determined fingers against Kris's jaw and turned him into the kiss, and Kris sighed into Adam's mouth, resistance melting. It was perfection for about a minute and then Adam's cell rang; they kept kissing through the first half of his ringtone and then Kris ducked out of the kiss reluctantly. It was the ringtone that Adam used for official RCA business, so he really needed to answer it. Adam pouted for the briefest of moments, and then he answered the phone, not a hint of what he'd just been doing in his voice.
Kris looked over at where the pair of shoes had landed when Kris had- well, earlier. He tried them on and they fit just fine. He glanced over at Adam, still on the phone, looking very serious and sexy and professional, and decided that, really, this pair of shoes was good enough.
And if he and Adam hurried home, they might have time to be alone before he had to go pick up his parents - not that he used those exact words when he explained it to Daniel; he merely let Daniel know that his presence really wasn't required at the house and they would just meet up later at the airport.
From Daniel's suspicious look, he probably guessed the truth anyway.
Daniel was gone by the time Adam came out of the dressing room. Adam seemed disappointed when he heard that Kris had already paid for his clothes, which was silly. Just because Adam had helped him pick them out didn't mean that Adam needed to pay for them, even if he was friends with the clerk. They managed to get out of the store without any cameras finding them, something of a minor miracle. This wasn't a neighborhood where Adam's mustang stood out all that much, luckily.
They ended up having enough time at the house for Kris to get a quick handjob, which was nice, but then he had to turn right around and leave again. He ended up getting to the airport about ten minutes late, but Daniel and his parents were still hanging around the luggage claim, waiting for the bags to come out, so it was okay. He had to sign a couple of autographs along the way, but L.A. was pretty chill and Kris wasn't 'the American Idol' anymore, so it wasn't a big deal.
Both his parents had to give him hugs, of course, and Kris was happy enough to do that, though his palms had started sweating a little. They loved Adam already, he reminded himself. It wasn't going to be a big deal at all.
Daniel had been staying at the house while he was in L.A., but his parents were going to be staying in Kris's apartment. Finally, they got the bags and had gotten back to Kris's place, and Kris showed them the 'guest room' - though it was really the master bedroom, of course, since it wasn't like Kris was using it. His mama seemed confused about something at first, looking around the place with a furrowed brow.
“Is something wrong?” he asked her, glancing over at the clock for a second. He still had to get back to home to Adam so that he could change.
“It's so clean,” she said, turning around in a slow circle. “Doesn't look much like a bachelor's apartment. Doesn't look much anybody's apartment at all.”
“Well,” Kris said, rocking back on his heels a little. Now that she mentioned it, he saw it, too. In the living room at home, his guitar was still lying on the table, because he'd forgotten to put it away last night. Adam had left a half-opened book on one of the side-tables this morning. He'd left a glass on the kitchen counter, the remnants of milk still clinging to sides. Nothing like that was here, because he didn't live here. He hadn't ever lived here; had signed the papers the day before Adam's... enthusiastic 'yes' to him and he'd only kept it because he had a six-month lease and he didn't want to cause a fuss. “There's a reason for that.”
His dad laid a steady hand on his shoulder and Kris breathed in sharply. Normally, he'd be grateful for his dad's support but, right now, it felt ten times heavier than it should.
“Oh, honey, that's- are we going to meet her?” his mom asked, lighting up. She waved a hand at Daniel, who was frowning, though not for the reasons that mom was guessing at, Kris would wager. “I know, it's a little soon after the divorce, but we all know that he and Katy had been drifting apart for months.” She came forward and snatched up Kris's hand between hers. “I just want you to be happy.”
Kris swallowed. “That's good.” His eyes met Daniel's, briefly, and Daniel nodded at him, smiling just a little. Then Kris turned his gaze back down to his mom. “I- I did meet someone. And I'm very happy. I don't think I've ever been happier.”
She was glowing with anticipation and he couldn't- he couldn't stand quite so close. He ducked away from both of them and he knew that he was looking jittery and nervous, but he couldn't help it.
“Who is it, son?” his dad asked, and Kris turned to look at them. They were so perfect together, always had been. Sure, there'd been fights over the years, but nothing serious. They'd always been there for each other and for him.
“It's actually someone that you've already met,” he said, starting to relax a little.
“Oh,” his mom said, deflating slightly. “It's... not Allison, is it? Don't get me wrong, she's a lovely thing and I adore her, but she's a little... young for you, don't you think?”
“Allison is not the only woman I know in L.A. that I've introduced to you,” Kris said, crossing his arms over his chest. “And of course it isn't her. She- she's- she's like a... a little sister to me.”
“That Megan girl?” his dad asked and Kris just had to- to cover his eyes in exasperation. “She seems more your type anyway, if you ask me.”
“Please stop guessing,” he said. He peeked through his fingers and it seemed like they might actually give him a chance to talk now. He lowered his hands and took another steadying breath. “Like I said, it's someone that you've met. Actually, someone you know really well.”
“Well.” His mom raised an eyebrow. “Who is it?”
“Adam,” Kris said, and he couldn't look at her when he said it, though he knew that he should be brave enough to do at least that. He ended up looking past the both of them, off at a painting that the apartment had come with; it was nothing that he would have picked out. “It's Adam.”
“Sweetheart, I don't think we heard you right,” his mom said, with that edge in her voice that meant she wanted an explanation and fast. “Is it one of Adam's friends?”
“He's gay,” Daniel said, loud and as though it was something he'd been holding back, and Kris closed his eyes, though that couldn't block out Daniel's voice. “Or bisexual, maybe. It doesn't really matter. And if either of you had been paying attention, you'd have guessed it back when I figured it out. He's been in love with Adam for months. Years, for all I know.”
“Do you mean- was this before the divorce?” And his mom's voice was so quiet. “Kristopher, did you- with Adam?”
“What's wrong with Adam?” Kris asked, opening his eyes. His hands tightened briefly into fists, and he deliberately relaxed them, tucking them into the pockets of his jeans. His parents were just surprised. His mom loved Adam and she wouldn't imply anything bad about him. “I did something wrong, but it's not worse because it was with Adam.”
“That's not what I-” she cut herself off, her hand lifting to cover her mouth. “I'm just... it wasn't something that I'd considered. You've never shown any tendencies in that direction.”
“Of course he did,” Daniel scoffed. “You just didn't notice.”
“Please, you're not helping,” Kris said, sending a hard look in Daniel's direction. Daniel threw up his hands and left the apartment, though he closed the door politely enough, so he couldn't be as mad as all that. Kris turned back to his parents, who hadn't moved. “I've wanted to tell you for a while.”
“Does Katy know?” his dad asked, finally speaking.
“Yeah,” Kris said, though he had no plans on telling them the details. “She knows. She knew from the beginning. And I talked to her after the divorce. She pretty much knows everything.”
“She didn't tell us,” his mom said. Kris pressed his lips together and did his very best not to yell at his mama.
“She agreed not to tell anyone until me and Adam were ready,” Kris said, evenly. “And... I don't think she wanted to be known as the ex-wife of the gay Idol.”
“Are you?” she asked. “Did we really miss so much?”
“No, no, you didn't,” he said, taking a step toward her - she took a quick step back and that was- he blinked, reminding himself to stay in control, that it didn't have to mean anything. It didn't mean that she didn't want to touch him. “Mama, Adam's the first guy I ever- anything.”
“How can I believe that?” she asked. Kris looked over at his dad, hoping and praying. His dad reached out and rubbed mom's arm in comfort, and he was looking away from Kris's eyes. “You cheated on your wife.”
“Is that really what's bothering you?” Kris asked, and she couldn't meet his eyes, either. “You- you've always loved Adam.”
“Before I knew what he was doing to my son,” she said, and she gasped right after, her hand flying up to her mouth. “Oh, honey, that's not-”
“He has never done a thing to hurt anyone.” His hands were in fists now, his breath coming too quickly. “You can think whatever you want about me, but don't you dare say that it's his fault.”
“Now, you know that I like Adam,” his dad said, and he was using his church voice, the one that Kris had always paid attention to, no matter what. “But there comes a point when you have to ask yourself if the changes you've made in your life are really what's best for you. Kristopher, I'm not doubting that you have feelings for Adam, but look at your life. Look what it's become.”
“Wonderful,” Kris said, raising up his chin. “My life is wonderful.”
“A life of hiding can't make you happy,” his dad said. “I know you too well, son.”
“I won't be hiding,” Kris said. “Not after tonight.”
“What?” Mom probably wasn't even trying to hide her surprise.
“Me and Adam are coming out as a couple at the Grammys,” Kris said and he could have been gentler about it, but he wasn't in the mood any more. “We've been planning it for a while.”
“Now, that's exactly what I mean,” his dad said. “I can't imagine you chasing after media attention like that before you met Adam.” Kris's mouth dropped open for a moment while he took that in. Then he nodded, tight and sharp.
“Adam doesn't chase after media attention,” Kris said, coldly. “He just attracts it. I'll... I'll talk to you after the show.”
His mom said his name, but Kris started walking and didn't stop until he reached his car. Neither of them had followed him. He pressed Adam's number in with a shaking finger and Adam picked up right away.
“How did-”
“I need you so bad,” Kris said and, fuck, he was crying. He wiped away the tears and tried to sound reasonably together to Adam. “I'm on my way.”
“Oh, baby. I'll be here.” And that was all Adam said. It was all he needed to say.
Adam was waiting on the doorstep when Kris got there, and Kris just rushed into his arms, and-
He inhaled sharply, letting Adam's comforting scent surround him. Adam's embrace was strong and warm and just the support that he'd needed. Adam was whispering in his ear, his tone low and reassuring. Kris closed his eyes and... he let himself weep, holding tightly to Adam's arms. When his tears finally seemed to dry out, he pulled back a little, touching his fingers to the wet spots on Adam's shirt. “It didn't go so well,” he whispered.
And Adam was tilting his head up gently, wiping at his cheeks, before pressing a tender kiss against his mouth. Kris pushed up into the kiss with a grateful whimper and this was- Adam was the best thing that had ever happened to him. He'd always known that, no matter what else had been going on in their lives - meeting Adam had only ever been a good thing.
“If you want to wait, we don't have to do this tonight,” Adam said, softly. “You can just collect your trophy and we don't have to say a thing.”
“You cannot just assume that I'm going to win,” Kris said, relaxing a little into the easy familiarity of this argument. And, though he hadn't ever needed the proof that his dad wasn't right, there it was in Adam's offer. “They'll call someone else's name and you'll start shouting that they got it wrong.”
“Well, if you don't win, they did get it wrong,” Adam said, firmly. “Seriously, baby, we can do it low-key instead. We don't need to make a fuss.”
“Oh, we're doing this,” Kris said, and his grief was fading... or maybe just getting buried under the low tide of anger that was sweeping through his body. “Because if I do win, there's not a chance in hell that I'm not thanking the man that I'm in love with.” Then he grinned and tugged at Adam's shirt, pushing the anger back for now - Adam didn't deserve to be caught in any of that. “You really should change; tear stains are so out of fashion.”
“Hmm, not sure I can do it on my own,” Adam said, taking a step back toward the doorway, one of his eyebrows cocking slightly. “Might need some help.” And that was just an irresistible temptation.
Afterwards, in their bedroom, Adam held him for a while, and Kris rubbed his hand over the hairs on Adam's chest - it was the little things that got to him, when he thought about them. Hair on Adam's chest and the deepness of his voice when he moaned and the way he could pick Kris up and move him like Kris's weight didn't matter at all. The big things, like wanting to suck Adam's dick and liking it when Adam fucked him, those had been what he'd worked through first with Pastor Davidson, back when he'd realized how strong his feelings for Adam were and had gone searching for a gay-friendly church group. The smaller things, though, they kept surprising him. Or, to be honest, he kept being surprised by how much he liked them.
He'd always known that he was attracted to guys, but it used to be something tiny, something he could hide behind Katy's hazel-warm eyes and the way she looked when she twirled around in a summer dress. He hadn't ever even bothered to think of himself as bisexual - since the first time Katy had as much as asked him out, he'd pretty much just been hers. Even when she'd broken up with him, he'd been hers. He'd thought that he'd always be hers.
He hadn't been expecting Adam.
Kris sighed, leaning over to press his mouth to the skin just under Adam's nipple. Adam laughed and said something about “not enough time” and pushed him away, and Kris sprawled back in the sheets, watching in admiration as Adam rose out of the bed.
Adam's freckles were like a private in-joke, almost. The last time Kris had talked to Brad, they'd spent almost twenty minutes coming up with increasingly over-the-top ways to describe them - everything from the spiral of the Milky Way to the spattering of a paint gun. Brad had been surprisingly awesome about their whole relationship, though he kept trying to make Kris blush by asking if he and Adam had ever done - insert far-too-graphically-described sex act here - and, when he did make Kris blush, he'd try to guess if it was a 'yes, we have' or a 'no, not yet' variety of blush. Adam had, apparently, not told Brad about Kris and Adam's pre-divorce relationship, because he seemed surprised that they gotten to some stuff 'so quickly'. And Kris was happy enough to keep him in the dark for now.
“I'm gonna grab some water,” Adam said, reaching up and stretching toward the ceiling. These being crazy California homes, he couldn't actually reach it, but Kris was sure that he'd be able to lay his palms flat against the ceiling of Kris's parents' home in Arkansas. The entwined musical notes tattooed on Adam's right shoulder twisted as he turned back to smile sleepily at Kris. “Want anything?”
“Wouldn't say no to a coke,” Kris said, reflexively, though he was trying to take in less sugar these days. Ah, well, it was the sort of day where he'd earned it. Adam winked at him, started to head away and then he stopped, putting a hand on his hip as he looked at Kris.
“What kind of coke?” Adam asked, proving that the boy could be trained. Kris grinned at him.
“A Sprite, please. Sir,” he said, then he dropped his head back into the pillows and relaxed, knowing that Adam would let him know when he needed to get ready. When Adam came back with the bottles, Kris sat up and snuggled back against the soft headboard, pulling his knees up and wrapping an arm around them. The nightstand was within easy reach, so he twisted off the cap and set them both down on the bare wood. Adam cleared his throat and Kris rolled his eyes, leaning over to slide a coaster toward the end of the nightstand and then putting his Sprite on it.
“Spill,” Adam said, tapping the bottom of his water bottle against Kris's knee. “What'd they say?”
Kris shook his head, curling his toes into the sheets. “Stupid stuff. Doesn't matter.” He shrugged. “They'll come 'round.”
“Baby, though you came close once or twice, I've never seen you crying before,” Adam said, wrapping his free hand around Kris's left knee, squeezing reassuringly. “Not full-on tears. And we have been through some serious shit together.”
Kris glanced down at his feet, toenails still showing traces of green nailpolish from the last time Adam had gone on a private glam-up spree, and let out a soft breath. “They just- they weren't expecting it. I guess I... surprised them.” He reached out and put his hand over Adam's, tucking his fingers underneath Adam's palm. “It wasn't anything, really. I was just being too sensitive.”
“You are the most laid-back guy I've ever known, so I'm guessing that's bullshit,” Adam said, and he leaned down and brushed his mouth against Kris's hand, then he turned it over and delicately kissed Kris's wrist. He looked up and once Adam was actually meeting his eyes, Kris couldn't look away again. “But it's obvious that you aren't going to say any more, so let's talk ink.”
“I still haven't decided,” Kris said... murmured, really, since he and Adam were so close that he didn't need to talk loud. And Adam was one of the few non-Southerners who almost always understood what Kris was saying, even when other people accused him of mumbling. “I want something that means peace, but not- not a dove or a peace sign or anything cliché like that.”
“No clichés means no Chinese or Japanese characters, either,” Adam said, thoughtfully, his thumb rubbing over Kris's pulse point. “I'll investigate and get you more options.”
“Nothing crazy,” Kris said, firmly, because sometimes Adam could get way too enthusiastic. “It has to be small enough to cover up with a wristband.”
“Yeah, yeah, I know,” Adam said, rolling his eyes, but if Adam listened to what Kris said the first time through, they wouldn't have needed to repaint their kitchen three times in two weeks. Granted, it would be a lot harder for Adam to get Kris's wrist tattooed while he wasn't paying attention, but it was the principle that counted here. Adam took up a lot of space, in more ways than the obvious, and Kris wasn't going to let the fact that Adam fucked him mean that Adam got control over everything in his life.
“What about your family?” Kris asked, wanting to talk about something bound to be upbeat. “Leila's not really holding a winner's party afterwards, is she? Because if I-”
“Don't worry about it,” Adam said. “She bought two sets of banners.”
It took a moment before Kris was brave enough to ask. “What's the other set say?”
“Happy Coming-Out!” Adam said brightly, resting his chin on Kris's knee. “I swear, she's almost more excited than I am. She wants to claim you in public.” His excitement dimmed slightly. “And she was looking forward to talking to Kim about it. Hopefully, she'll be able to help your parents accept you sooner.”
“That... that would be nice,” Kris said, and he couldn't help but smile. Leila, Eber and Amy, and Neil had all been so supportive over the last month and a half, though Neil hadn't been able to resist telling Adam, very loudly, that he'd guessed about Kris before Adam had known. “How many people did she invite to this thing? And how many of them already know?”
“Everyone and no one,” Adam said, then he pulled off Kris fluidly. “We really need to start getting ready.”
“You need to start getting ready,” Kris said, reaching over and taking a sip of his Sprite. “I'll get up in about half an hour.”
“Oh, no, you said I could dress you up for this,” Adam said. “That includes make-up.” He held up his hands, a little bit of water splashing out of the bottle he was holding. “Don't worry, though, it won't be anything crazy. Now, get that sweet ass up out of bed and get dressed.”
Adam doing his make-up was odd enough when he was just letting Adam mess around; having it happen and knowing that other people were going to see the results was slightly more nerve-wracking. But there was always something... sensual and almost erotic about it, about Adam gently smudging Kris's eyeliner with his pinky finger, about the soft tickling sensation of the brush he used for the blush, about the way he stroked on the color for Kris's lips, heavy and red. One of the reasons that Kris's make-up had never made it outside before likely had something to do with how he liked to see how the lipstick looked when it streaked against Adam's skin as Kris kissed him everywhere he could reach.
But they'd taken the edge off earlier, so Kris was only half-hard by the time Adam said that he was ready for the show. Adam moved so that Kris could look in the mirror and- he had to blink a little, trying to recognize himself. It wasn't... it wasn't that much of a change, but he looked so much more dramatic - the foundation and blush made his face look thinner and his cheekbones sharper, while the eyeliner, thicker than he'd ever let anyone else make it, made his eyes smoky and huge. The lipstick emphasized the fullness of his lower lip and he had to concentrate not to lick out at it to see if it tasted like cherries.
“You like?” Adam asked, smug smile on his lips.
“I guess I don't look like too much of an idiot,” Kris managed. Adam chuckled, rich and low. He'd finished his make-up first, so they were all done now. “So, we're arriving in the same limo, holding hands on the red carpet - do they actually need a kiss to figure things out, because this lipstick-”
“As long as you don't push so hard, your lipstick will be fine,” Adam said. “Though it's cute that you don't want to smudge it.”
Kris sputtered for a second, because that was not his point, but Adam was already up and leaving the room, with a casual call back at Kris not to make them late. He took one last look at himself in the mirror, his lips tightening for a second as he remembered what his dad had said. “I like who I'm turning into,” he said quietly, reaching forward to brush his fingers against his reflection.
Then he turned away and jogged to catch up to Adam, reaching him just outside the gate, where the limo was waiting - both he and Adam had obligations at the Grammys tonight, though Adam liked to say that he was 'just' presenting, but the car had been sent by Jive and the driver wasn't all that surprised to see both of them getting in. Everyone knew that Adam and Kris were joined at the hip, even if most people outside the 'gay underground' of L.A. still thought that Kris was straight and Adam was only being a good friend.
That was really the reason why Kris was thinking that they might need to kiss to get the point across - even holding hands might get dismissed as another stage in their platonic bromance. The fact that they lived together - and it was really obvious even if Kris did have a lease on a different place - was just explained by the fact that they liked to bounce song ideas off each other and Adam had his own studio in the house. Kris wasn't sure if the mainstream media was really that dense or if they were afraid to mention it for fear of looking stupid like... like in the Emperor's New Clothes. Because Kris knew for a fact that several fangroups were certain about his relationship with Adam. A few of them even had the timeline straight, though most of them thought it had started a lot earlier and he hadn't seen a single person guess right about Katy's involvement.
Of course, 'failed threesome attempt leading to a secret affair' wasn't the most likely possibility in the world. The crazy way his life had worked ever since he'd first tried out for American Idol still left him breathless. That he'd gotten into the show in the first place, that he'd been roommates with Adam, that they'd gotten to the top together, and all the success that had followed for both of them - it still felt like a dream. Some mornings, when he woke, he still half-expected to be back in his old apartment with Katy, fantasizing about a life that he couldn't ever live.
Kris glanced over at the darkened glass separating him and Adam from the driver and then shot a nervous smile in Adam's direction. The car was slowing and they were approaching the red carpet. Kris leaned toward Adam and breathed in, Adam's Dior Homme cologne a familiar and comforting scent. “Here we go,” he said to Adam, just as the limo came to a stop.
The door opened and the flashing and the noise started immediately. Adam gracefully hopped out of the car and Kris could hear the volume inch upward. Adam turned toward the limo and held out his hand, and... here it was, moment of truth.
Before he could lose his nerve, Kris put his hand in Adam's and let Adam tug him out of the car. But when Adam stopped pulling, Kris kept going, bouncing up on his toes to place a gentle kiss on Adam's surprised lips. The photographers and reporters were making tons of noise now and Kris couldn't see for the flash of the cameras, but Adam's mouth was against his and that was all he needed.
Adam slid an arm around Kris's back and pushed him up into the kiss, his lips parting slightly to invite Kris in. Kris's eyelids slid shut as he returned the favor, the noise of the crowd fading into the background, as his tongue danced out to brush against Adam's mouth. Adam's hand shifted down slightly, cupping Kris's ass and that- that was amazing, and Kris's hands reached up to hold onto Adam's collar and yank him down harder into the kiss but then he remembered what Adam had said, not to push so hard or he'd smear the make-up.
Kris blinked, and he came back to himself. He broke the kiss, the sound lost in the roar of the crowd and the clicking of cameras, and Adam's hand slid up from Kris's ass to the small of his back. Kris settled back down on his heels, needing to squint when he looked away from Adam, and he heard someone shout, in a high-pitched screech of shock, “Oh my god, it really is Kris Allen.”
And that was pretty much how the whole red carpet experience went, and Kris only really made it through because Adam never let go of him. Being actually inside was so much easier, if only because there were several people who already knew, tons who weren't surprised, and the rest either weren't rude enough to say anything or didn't give a fuck.
After all that, it was almost an anti-climax when he actually won for Song of the Year.
But he was up on stage, standing in front of his peers - part of him couldn't believe that that was true either, that all these real musicians had accepted him as one of their own - and after he made his pre-prepared thank-yous to God and the people who'd helped him, he did the one that mattered most, the one that he hadn't been able to find the words for until this moment.
“This is one of the most personal songs I've ever written,” he said and he looked out over the audience, finding Adam and keeping his gaze there for the rest of his speech. “It's about love; about being in love so deeply that the rest of the world almost seems to disappear. And, for me, that means it's about just one person. Every note, every word, all of it was written with him in mind.” And he knew that part of the speech was going to be particularly incendiary once people thought about it, since Midsummer had been written and released well before his divorce. “Thank you, Adam, for being the bravest, sweetest, best person that I know.” He held up the Grammy - well, the dummy Grammy. “This is for you, baby.”
And after he made his way backstage, he wasn't surprised to see that Adam had gone back there, too.
“How you feeling, Grammy winner?” Adam asked, snagging the lapel of Kris's jacket and tugging him close. “Hope you aren't cracking under the pressure because they do expect you to perform in about half an hour.”
“Oh, shut up,” Kris said, fondly. Adam's make-up was smudged a bit around the eyes, a complete tell that he'd shed a tear or two out there. Kris actually felt fantastic, to his own surprise. He'd been carrying around the weight of his love for Adam for close to two years, at least, and being able to say it - to say it to that many people - had felt like the greatest relief ever. “By the way, that? So much cooler than coming out in Rolling Stone. Just saying.”
“Damn you, Kris Allen,” Adam said, in a tone of mock despair, the corner of his mouth quirking up. “You've topped me again. How will I ever get my revenge?” He leaned in to whisper in Kris's ear. “Oh, well, I guess I'll just wait until the next time you desperately need a hard fuck.” Kris shivered, his eyes briefly closing in reaction.
And then it was Adam's turn to go out on stage to present, which went off with no hitches. Kris stayed backstage to watch, since Adam was right about not having too much time before he needed to perform. Luckily, Midsummer wasn't a song that needed a band - it was just Kris and a piano, all alone on stage with the heat of the spotlights trained on him.
Midsummer was one of those songs that had been easy for him to write - he'd written it almost in a fever, after Adam had called him to break off their affair. It had been a surprise to him when it hadn't been angry or depressed, but instead had been one of the most joyful songs he'd ever written. This is why I love you, the song said, because your honor is greater than your need. And everything that he'd done since that day had brought him to this moment, to being able to go out in front of hundreds of people - potentially millions sitting at home - and say without a second of hesitation that he adored Adam with every breath in his body.
So, he sat down on his piano bench, played the first chord, and then, with every note, he told everyone watching that this was how much he loved Adam. Enough to let him go, if he had to. Enough to walk away from everything safe in his life. Enough to go to Adam and offer himself, offer everything.
After the show, he and Adam manage to escape without getting accosted by too many reporters and when they got to Leila's afterparty, where both banners were proudly flying, they received a round of applause that left Kris's cheeks hot, and he lost track of how many hands he shook. All of Adam's friends, the people who already knew, were thrilled for Adam's sake that Kris was finally out, and everyone else at the party seemed pretty happy, too, though Kris had a couple of guys cheerfully complain that they wish they'd been the one to turn him. And Brad managed to smack his ass in the middle of congratulating him, but that was just Brad being Brad.
All of the other season eight Idol finalists were there, along with several others of the Top 36. Allison, who had known for about three weeks, gave him a tight hug and whispered, “I'm so fucking proud of you,” and Danny slapped him on the back and said, “I don't get it, man, but you've always made each other happy. Congratulations.”
Amy and Eber had brought a cake with Pride flag frosting and made Kris cut the first slice, so he called Adam over and made him eat a piece, right from Kris's hand. Of course, then Adam sucked his fingers clean and Kris's pants tightened, so Adam probably won that round. Anoop pushed a glass of red wine into Kris's hand and called for a toast and Kris smirked when he dedicated the round to not giving up on love, pointedly glancing over at Megan, who flushed brightly.
After a few more rounds of drinks, Alex Wagner-Trugman climbed up on a chair and spread his arms wide. “Like everyone else,” he said loudly. “I'm very happy for Kris and Adam. However, Kris, if you should ever find that Adam is not manly enough for you-” a hearty 'boo' filled the room and Trugs waved it down. “-or if he should otherwise break your heart, I would like to publicly offer to be your rebound. Thank you.” And then he toppled off the chair, his fall broken by a giggling Mishovanna.
“I can't believe so many of you are here,” Kris said to Alexis. She gave him a soft smile.
“Can't you?” she said. She waved around at the room - at Matt flirting with Leila in the corner and Michael talking seriously with Todd over by the drinks table, and Lil and her husband dancing to a soft-jazz piano tune being played by Scott. “You're our Idol. Maybe not the same way that you're Arkansas's, but we love you just as much.” Then her smile widened to a grin. “Plus, Adam paid airfare and hotel fees for anyone not currently living in L.A. - who's going to turn that down?”
“Was he really that sure I was going to win?” Kris asked. “Or was it about-”
“Either way, he figured you'd want as many friendly faces around as possible,” she said. “He's a really great guy, your boyfriend. Loves you a lot.”
“Yeah,” Kris agreed, easily finding Adam in the crowd - he was talking to his dad about something, his hands moving quickly to illustrate his point. “He really does.” As if Adam could sense him looking, his head turned, his eyes finding Kris's. He smiled, wide and happy, and Kris beckoned him over. Adam briefly turned toward his dad, said something that made Eber laugh, and then Adam broke away, wading through the crowd to reach Kris's side.
“So, how's the party?” Adam asked, reaching up to rub a finger just under Kris's lower lip. “Sorry, baby, your lipstick got a little smudged there.”
“Thanks,” Kris said, grabbing Adam's wrist before he could lower it all the way. He lifted Adam's hand back up, pressing his cheek against Adam's palm. “It was going great, but it's even better now.”
“You'll smear the rest of your make-up,” Adam warned him, but he was smiling.
“What the chances your parents will notice if we sneak off to a back room?” Kris asked.
“Way too high,” Adam said, laughing. “We are not having sex in my mother's house. No way.”
Kris pressed a warm kiss to the center of Adam's palm. “Nothing I can do to convince you?” he asked, in that low, heated tone that normally got results. Adam's eyes darkened, his tongue wetting his lips. He was so close to caving... and then Matt clapped Kris heartily on the shoulder, startling them both out of the moment. Adam's hand dropped down and away and Kris couldn't quite hide his pout.
“So, queer for Lambert,” Matt said, clearly half-way to being sloshed. “I knew it, you know. Guessed way back when the show was still airing. Do I win anything? Maybe a kewpie doll?”
“Another drink,” Adam said, carefully prying Matt's hand off Kris and giving him a push in the right direction. “You win another free drink.” Matt snorted with laughter and wandered off, snagging Danny's arm along the way and leaning his weight on him.
“I was, you know,” Kris said, quietly. Adam turned to him, looking slightly puzzled, brow drawn up. “From that first day you sang in Hollywood week, I couldn't stop talking about you. Matt was the first person to know how much I admired you.”
“Oh, is that what the kids are calling it,” Adam said, with a wicked smile. “Well, I admired you, too.”
“Fuck off,” Kris laughed, smacking Adam's arm. Adam grabbed Kris's hand, turning slightly more serious.
“I really did,” he said, softly. “I like to think... I like to think that I'm first person who really saw you, stupid and selfish and egotistical as it sounds. I heard you singing on that stage during Hollywood week and even if the judges didn't see it, I saw a star. I have been so happy for your success, baby, but I wasn't surprised. I knew you could do it. Always.” He brought up their tangled hands and brushed a kiss over Kris's knuckles. “It was never just about your pretty face.”
“Couldn't have done it without you,” Kris whispered, which was cliché and overwrought but it was also exactly how he felt. And he kissed Adam again, right in the middle of Leila's living room, and he heard the guests 'woo'ing and someone shouting out that they should get a room, but he kept on kissing Adam until he had to stop to take a breath. And he grinned when he saw that he'd left some of that dark red lipstick on Adam's face. “It's been a great party, Adam, but right now, I really wanna celebrate in private.”
It took another half an hour before they were finally out the door, because people kept stopping them to congratulated him - or Adam - and to say good-night. But then they were finally relatively on their own and being driven home. When they got dropped off, the driver gave them a wink and said, “Big news, boys, can't wait to read the headlines,” and Kris had to laugh all over again, waving him off. Adam being, well, Adam and roughly as famous as the Beatles, his house was pretty damn secure, so even on a night like this, they didn't have to worry about getting ambushed by the tabloid press. Gated communities had their perks.
They were alone in the house and Kris spared a brief thought about where Daniel was, but that was all he had time for before Adam was on him, stripping off his clothes and then doing the caveman thing where he lifted Kris up and slammed him against the wall. Kris moaned, his head thumping backwards and... yes, there was something about this, about letting Adam take him over, that was bigger than anything he'd ever felt before. Adam fucked him right then and there, made him scream so loudly that it echoed through the room, and then carried him upstairs and did it all over again on their bed.
“This seriously qualifies for the best day ever,” Kris said, and, wow, they really needed to wash these sheets now. Adam didn't say anything back and, when Kris poked him, he just snored and cuddled in closer. Kris glanced over at the nightstand, where the Sprite from earlier still stood. Next to it was his phone, which he'd dumped out after getting back from talking to his parents and hadn't touched the rest of the day. Yeah. It was probably time to deal with that. He wriggled out from under Adam and grabbed the phone, pulling on his boxers.
He went out to the hallway and hit the button for his voicemail.
“So, I went back to the apartment and mom and dad were freaking out,” Daniel said, his voice tight. “I'm gonna hang with them for the rest of the night. I'll try to make your party, but don't worry if I'm not there.”
There was a message from a particularly pissed-off assistant at Jive, asking him if he'd ever planned on telling them that he was gay and fucking Adam Lambert -- and she actually said “fucking” so they had to be really mad at him. He winced and deleted that one, too.
“Hey, sweetie.” It was Katy's voice, soft and light as he remembered from when they were younger, before all the crazy shit from the past couple of years. “Caught your kiss on Entertainment Tonight. Saw the make-up; you looked really good actually. Hey- I'm proud of you, okay? I'm not going to pretend that I don't hate what happened between us, but I will always love you. I'm so glad you're happy.” She sniffled and he could picture exactly what she looked like, her eyes red from trying not to cry, but the tears starting to slip down regardless. “Adam, if you're listening, don't you ever doubt that man of yours. He's one of the good ones.” Her voice softened. “I wish I'd remembered that. Good luck, you guys. It's not going to be easy for you.”
That message, Kris saved, and he'd be lying if he pretended it didn't make him tear up a little.
He quickly skipped through some more calls before landing on the one he'd both been longing to hear and yet been so afraid of - it was his mom's voice.
“Honey, we saw the show,” she said, her words coming slowly. “I hadn't- I hadn't realized you'd written that song for Adam. You know how much I always loved that song.” Kris nodded, remembering the day he'd first played it for his parents. His mom had leapt up and declared it 'her favorite' out of all the songs he'd written for the new album. “We talked to Daniel for a while and he caught us up on your life. On... your life with Adam. You're right, you know, we always did love Adam. And we always said that we didn't care whether or not he was gay; that it didn't matter. He has to... he has to be pretty disappointed in us right now.” She paused for a long moment. “I still don't understand. Neither of us understands. But you are our son and we love you. And if we made you doubt that-” her voice broke, and she took in a shuddering breath. “Oh, baby-doll, if we made you doubt that for even one second, I am so sorry.”
There was another pause, and then his dad was talking, voice gruff. “We can't take back what we said, but we do regret it. I regret what I said. Adam's not a bad influence; he never was. I hope- I hope you can remember that your parents are as human and as fallible as anyone else. As much as we strive to be like Jesus, to walk in God's light, we all fail sometimes. Wherever you are right now, please be happy. We'll call back in the morning. I love you, Kristopher. We love you so much.”
Kris pressed the phone against his mouth, silently shaking with relieved sobs. When he had himself under control, he went back into the bedroom and plugged his phone into the charger. Adam was sprawled across the bed, taking up all the space, but when Kris slipped in next to him, Adam shifted, his body curving toward Kris and making room, even in his sleep. Kris brushed a light kiss over Adam's cheek and snuggled in close to him, his mouth curving up into a smile.
Yeah, on his list of good days, this was pretty much the top.
~end~