Fic: A Little Taste of Liberation (Kris/Adam; K/Brad Bell; American Idol)
Title: A Little Taste of Liberation
Summary: Kris gets and takes a little advice.
Pairings: Kris/Adam; some Kris/Brad
Rating: NC-17
Notes: Sequel to Sublimation. Word count ~7,300.
A Little Taste of Liberation
He didn't really want to wake up. That was Kris's first semi-conscious thought. The bed that he was wallowing in was soft and warm and it smelled amazing. He blearily blinked open his eyes and stared over at an unfamiliar dresser that had his jeans and belt laid down on it.
There was a bustling, clanking noise coming from another room - or, no, it might just be from behind the privacy screens set up near the foot of the bed - that sounded like someone moving around a kitchen and that might be worth waking up for.
He rolled over to his back and then sighed, memories of last night seeping back into his consciousness. Brad had been even more... blunt and perceptive than Kris had expected, though he couldn't pretend-
He couldn't pretend it wasn't what he'd been looking for.
Kris slid out of the bed, socks slipping a little bit on the bare floor. He went to the bathroom and washed the sleep out of his eyes, then turned around and leaned back against the sink. He'd noticed the photograph last night, though he'd been a little distracted by seeing Brad go through a similar routine to the one that he'd watched Adam do night after night, and it was just as striking this morning. Two naked men - definitely naked - but it wasn't at all cheap or sleazy, rendered in a soft-focus black and white, the blurriness to the edges something that was obviously an artist choice. It made it less about the specific couple and more about... about the feeling, about lingering warmth and something deeper than lust.
When he was done in the bathroom, Kris wandered out in the direction of the kitchen, pulling his jeans on along the way. He slumped sideways against the counter, and tried to figure out what Brad was actually making.
“Are those eggs?” he asked, finally. Brad whirled around, a sharp grin on that fox-pointy face of his, spatula in hand.
“They are... an egg-like product,” Brad said, nodding with authority. He was wearing a pair of thin gray sweats that clung to his legs - Kris had never noticed what a skinny guy he was before now - and nothing else.
“Are you vegan?” Kris asked and Brad laughed with an odd, light trill and set the spatula down on the counter.
“Oh, heavens, no,” he said and he seemed more 'on' this morning, more Cheeks and less Brad. “But I had one over the other day and he brought his own food - can you imagine? - but then he forgot to take it with him. Serves him right. It's very presumptuous to assume that you'll be invited to stay the night, don't you think?”
“It's not ever something I've given much thought to,” Kris admitted.
“Well, you are hopping directly over the clubbing portion of your come-out and going straight for the gold,” Brad said, his expression turning more serious. “Aren't you?”
“Am I...?”
“Picking the glitter and glam over... well, both of us know what you'd be leaving behind. Texas isn't so far off from Arkansas that I don't know how tough it can be,” Brad said, and his voice was lower than Kris had heard it before. His smile softened. “When you're born different, like us, it's never easy.”
Kris swallowed hard, biting down on his lip. He... he didn't really deserve to be put in the same category as Brad. He'd seen the pictures. Brad hadn't ever been afraid of going out and being himself, no matter what people thought of it. Kris had just... sorta drifted along in life. He didn't think that he was a bad person, not by a long shot, but he wasn't always very brave. He knew himself, knew that he'd often submerged his own, admittedly lukewarm, desires under the more powerful directions that the people he cared about had given to him. Even... especially with Katy.
It wasn't until he'd met Adam that he'd really seen how much more he could try to be.
“So, eat up, you've gotta be at least a little bit hungry,” Brad said, waving over at the table near the kitchen - Kris saw that two places had already been set. There was a plate in the middle with some toast on it, so Kris sat down and grabbed a slice. No glasses, but there was a plastic bottle of orange juice that Kris uncapped gratefully. When Kris was about half-way through eating his toast, Brad brushed up next to him and flipped half of the 'egg-like product' onto Kris's plate, putting the rest of it on his own plate before putting the skillet in his sink.
“Thanks,” Kris said, once Brad had gotten settled. Brad just shrugged, but there was a tiny smile playing around the corners of his mouth. “I mean. I mean for-”
“Oh, don't ruin it,” Brad said, waving a hand at Kris, and Kris relaxed gratefully. He'd never been particularly good with words that weren't song lyrics. “Have more toast. I'm just glad you woke up before everything got cold, because there is nothing sadder than cold eggs.” Brad shuddered delicately and Kris bit back a laugh. Brad stuck his fork into the yellowish substance on his plate. “Or, I suppose, cold egg-like product.”
Kris took a bite of his own not-eggs and, surprisingly, “These are pretty good,” he said. The rest of the breakfast passed mostly in an easy silence.
Afterwards, Kris went back out to the couch to check on his phone - he'd left it on silent and ended up with six missed calls. Probably half of them were from Katy, since he'd told her he was going out but, since he hadn't been planning on falling asleep, she'd probably assumed he'd be back that night.
"That the real world reminding you of who you're supposed to be?" Brad asked, leaning on the back of the couch. Kris shrugged and clicked through to check the numbers - three calls from Katy, two from his mom. One from management, but that wasn't going to be any big deal or they'd have called more than once. Brad was close enough that he could probably read the names as clearly as Kris could and he laughed a little. "So, the missus missed you. Does she have a clue that you like boys or is it all going to come as a nasty shock?"
"The first time we broke up was because I kissed a guy," Kris said, mouth twisting as he remembered. "I convinced her that it wasn't a big deal - and it wasn't. He didn't- I guess that made her- she figures that feelings I have for guys don't matter, maybe, because she's been so sweet with Adam. Every time I try to tell her that I-" He'd tried to confess his feelings about Adam to Katy at least a dozen times, only to have her laugh and giggle over how cute his 'crush' was and then change the subject. "-I don't know. She doesn't take it seriously. And I didn't want to push it because-" He didn't want 'Adam' to be a word that ever hurt Katy and he wasn't sure how to avoid that.
"Hmm, maybe she's doing it on purpose," Brad said. "If she laughs off your relationship with Adam, then you never actually talk about it. The word divorce never comes up." Kris couldn't stop himself from flinching. Brad climbed up and over the back of the couch, sliding down to straddle Kris's hips.
"Hello?" Kris asked, with half a laugh. Brad was a light guy - Kris could probably toss him off with no trouble - but he couldn't quite understand why Brad was in his lap in the first place. Brad plucked Kris's phone from his hands and threw it over to the coffee table, where Kris could hear it sliding off the other side to land on the floor. "I was going to use that."
"Did you ever cheat on Katy with another girl?" Brad asked and Kris huffed out an indignant breath. "Oh, do not pretend that kissing someone else isn't cheating. I don't care if you didn't want to buy a house and adopt a dog with the guy; you were obviously attracted to him. And this whole... orchestrated seduction that you're planning for Adam? That's cheating, in every possible way. It's not just bodies, your heart is involved." Brad pressed his hand against Kris's chest.
Kris licked his lips because - yeah. Yes.
"Now, if I were a nice guy, I'd tell you to go home to your wife and sort everything out," Brad said, tilting his head slightly as he stared down at Kris. "I'd tell you to get that divorce and, after the dust settles, go after Adam. That's what a nice, responsible guy would suggest, I think."
"You don't think you're a nice guy?" Kris asked and Brad shifted his weight, and he wasn't any heavier but, for a reason Kris couldn't figure, Kris seemed to feel him more. He'd heard a lot of stories about Brad and... okay, 'nice' wasn't the main word that Adam used, but he'd always gotten the impression that Brad was a good guy. Definitely a trustworthy one - Adam had spoken very highly of his ability to keep a secret.
"You tell me," Brad said and then he was leaning over and pressing his mouth against Kris's. Kris pushed him away, gasping a little in surprise.
"That's not what I came here for," Kris said, about half a second from throwing Brad off him entirely. "It's not about guys; it's about Adam."
"Yeah, keep telling yourself that, princess," Brad said and there was an edge to his voice that hadn't been there before. "Better yet, tell it to someone who hasn't met a million straight guys willing to go to their knees-"
Kris pushed him off, not even apologizing at the hurt sound he made when he landed on the floor in an awkward sprawl. "Fuck you," Kris said, bouncing up to his feet. He got his shoes from next to Brad's dresser and slipped them on, then grabbed his bag, slinging it over his shoulder. He was reaching for the door, forcing his hand to stay steady, when Brad touched his back. Kris whirled around, pushing down more shit that he didn't need to say, but Brad-
Brad was holding his phone out to him, and he looked like he was maybe sorry, a little.
"It's not about guys," Kris said, again, putting his phone in his back pocket. "I can handle that. It made me mess up once, but that was the only time. If I just wanted to screw Adam, this wouldn't be a big deal."
"Yeah, there are probably a lot of guys that you never fucked," Brad said and if there'd been even the slightest hint of mocking, Kris would have turned around again and left, but his voice was soft. "Did you get married to keep yourself good?"
"It wasn't like that," Kris said. "Not ever. Katy and I were together for years. I care a lot about her."
"Adam hasn't told me all that much about you," Brad said, cocking his head. "Keeping it private, I guess. But... once when he was trying to explain to me why you were such good friends, he said that you two- you both knew what it was like to be lonely when you were growing up."
"That was before Katy and I got together," Kris said, then he reached up and rubbed at his forehead, because that had come out all wrong and he couldn't really blame Brad for the look on his face. "I'm not saying that she- it happened around the same time, that's all."
"Big coincidence," Brad said and it was obvious that he didn't believe that, but it really wasn't any of his business anyway, so Kris wasn't going to rush to correct him this time. He'd just end up stumbling over his words again anyway. "I'm going to give you some advice - or maybe just lay out a couple of options."
"Yeah?"
"Don't bother with the makeup," Brad said. "I mean, if you like it, sure, do it later, but not the first time. It's going to be hard enough for him believe it's real even if you go as yourself."
"I thought it might make it easier," Kris said, looking down, his gaze focusing on the worn carpet - there was one particularly threadbare place right under Brad's foot. "For both of us."
"Easier doesn't mean better," Brad said. "And because I'm not that nice guy I was talking about earlier, my real advice is to go to Adam first, before you talk to your wife." Kris glanced up, startled. "Yeah, I said that he tends to respect marriage more than I do, but for you-"
"You're so sure that I've already made up my mind," Kris said.
"You came here," Brad said, reaching up and tapping Kris's nose. Kris jerked back a little, startled, and Brad grinned at him. "The apartment of the dreaded ex."
Kris laughed. "No one dreads you." Brad sighed, rather dramatically, which just made Kris laugh harder. "If you want potential boyfriends to be afraid of you, maybe you shouldn't stay close friends with people after a breakup."
Then Kris pressed his lips together, because he hadn't ever let himself even think that too loudly. Potential boyfriend. It- it...
It was a little bit overwhelming, just thinking about it. Kris let himself breathe for a while and realized that Brad was petting the side of his face, which was silly and not something he needed at all, but... it did kinda feel nice, so he didn't get around to objecting. Then Brad pressed a soft kiss against Kris's cheek but- that was okay, Adam had done that sort of thing all the time, to Kris and to Matt and to all of the girls.
"We get into this business because we're dreamers," Brad said, quiet against Kris's skin. "That's the one thing we all have in common. Let yourself dream, Kris. Fuck the consequences."
Kris felt himself nod, shaky and - okay, he could admit it - scared out of his mind. He wrapped an arm around Brad's shoulders and pressed an answering kiss against the line of Brad's jaw, closing his eyes for a second. Brad ducked his head down, kissed at the base of Kris's neck which was... maybe getting inappropriate again, but before Kris could more than part his lips to say so, Brad was biting - fuck - really hard, and Kris banged up back against the door but Brad was following him, sucking hard.
"Holy fuck," Kris said, pushing Brad away and reaching up to touch his throbbing skin. "This isn't Twilight, are you completely nuts?"
"That was not for you," Brad said, smiling like a man who wasn't about to get punched. "That was for Adam. Tell him I said hi."
"Do you-"
"He really likes it," Brad said. He twirled his fingers around to imply that Kris should leave now. "That's your Adam tip of the day - go forth and enjoy."
Kris stared for a little longer, trying to figure out if hitting Brad would even be worth it. Brad twinkled at him, barefoot and shirtless and totally unrepentant. Finally, Kris just fumbled behind himself for the doorknob and let himself out, feeling like he'd just lost some bizarre game that he hadn't even realized he was playing.
He'd rented a car last night, a nondescript thing that he couldn't imagine anyone wanting to follow and certainly not for him. He was, as of this particular moment in time, known as completely lacking in scandal, after all. And it was early yet, earlier than he'd really expected Brad to be awake, because it was definitely earlier than Adam liked to be awake.
Kris got into the car and considered his choices, putting the car into drive and going the only place he could.
The security at Adam's place knew to let him through, of course, and he had a key for the door. Adam's house was quiet, which probably meant no one was up yet. He knew Adam was in town, though - everyone did. He didn't go to Adam's bedroom but holed up in the sunny corner nook of the kitchen, stealing one of Adam's oranges and peeling it slowly.
After he finished eating the orange, he wandered to the family room, where he found something new - sometime after Kris had last seen the place, Adam had acquired a baby grand, black and majestic in a place of honor. Kris grinned, sliding his fingers along the soft glossy finish. It wasn't entirely unexpected, because Adam had said something about wanting to work on music together but it was-
Oh, it was really, really nice.
Kris settled himself behind the piano and stroked a few keys, then winced slightly. Well, no one had ever needed Adam to know how to tune a piano. Kris bounced up again, ready to see if whoever had delivered the piano had also left something to help with tuning.
"I thought I heard something."
Kris turned around, already smiling. Adam was leaning against the doorframe, loose pants only just hanging on around his hips, arms crossed over his bare chest. The look in his eyes was soft and fond and Kris's heart tightened because - because that's what he'd realized and that's what had brought him to this moment. He wanted to see that look all the time; he wanted Adam to look at him like that every day for the rest of their lives.
"I missed you," Kris said, shrugging, pacing toward Adam. "Is- are you alone?"
"Yeah," Adam said, tilting his head a little, the picture of curiosity. "Drake shouldn't be around until tomorrow. Why?"
"This would be a lot more awkward if he were here," Kris said and he was close to Adam now and Adam's wrinkled up that space between his eyebrows and he's standing straight, watching Kris carefully. Kris placed his hands on Adam's shoulders, fingers sliding a little, skin against skin. Adam's lips parted, like he was maybe going to ask a question but he didn't get the chance, not before Kris pushed himself up onto his toes and kissed Adam's mouth softly.
His eyes closed, not really with his permission, but he was busy thinking about everything else - Adam's skin, warm under his fingertips, and the soft give of Adam's mouth, and the way Adam smelled before he put on his cologne, sleepy and familiar. The startled noise that Adam made into his mouth was new, but Kris liked it and he decided that he was going to make Adam sound that way a lot in the future.
After a few more moments, Kris dropped back down to his heels, breaking the kiss and opening his eyes again - Adam followed him down half of the way, chasing his mouth. Adam was definitely breathing harder now, and over just a kiss.
"Are you- what's going on?" Adam asked, and his gaze kept dropping down to Kris's mouth. "Is- is this a rebound thing? Did you and Katy-"
"No," Kris said, sliding his hands down Adam's chest and getting him to unfold his arms. He encouraged Adam to put his hands on Kris's waist and grinned when he succeeded, one of Adam's fingers slipping between his shirt and jeans to gently press against his skin. "I mean. Not yet. I came here first."
"That seems backwards," Adam said. "You're really supposed to-" Adam's mouth quirked a little and then he bent down, brushing a tiny kiss across the corner of Kris's mouth. "-supposed to have the breakup before the rebound."
"You keep saying rebound, you're gonna get smacked," Kris said, pushing on Adam's stomach and getting him to stumble backwards, into the hallway. Adam's gaze drifted down and then he froze for a second and - ah, right, Brad's calling card.
"Who's been marking you up?" Adam asked, reaching up and touching his fingers to Kris's neck. "This from your wife?"
"I was at Brad's last night," Kris said, and he had to shift back when Adam's fingers pressed harder, hurting a little.
"My Brad?" Adam asked, and he'd just gotten more tense all over. "Looks like it was a real friendly visit."
"Your ex-boyfriend mauls me, that's not my fault," Kris said, lightly, and Adam's mouth tightened. "It wasn't even about me, idiot. He was sending some stupid message to you."
"He's not doing it again," Adam said and Kris blinked because Adam- Adam never- but as quickly as the hard look in his eyes had arrived, it was gone again. Adam's hand gentled, too, stroking along Kris's skin, rubbing up under the neck of his shirt. "Didn't I get you this?" Kris nodded, biting down on his lip. Adam crowded a little closer and Kris breathed in sharply, tilting his head back. "Looks good on you."
"Thanks," Kris said.
"Brad's never liked a mystery," Adam said. "Well, he's never liked other people to be mysteries. I might have made you too much of one."
"I'm not really all that-"
Adam's finger was on his mouth, and Kris ended up swallowing the rest of his sentence.
"He doesn't get to figure you out, though," Adam said, firmly. "That's mine."
And Kris didn't get the chance to say any of the words knocking around in his head - about not being a mystery or even very interesting; about how he's maybe afraid that Adam's going to realize that some day - because Adam was kissing him again, thumbing at the corner of his mouth to get him to open it up.
He doesn't really remember how they got to Adam's bedroom - Adam kept distracting him with kisses and sliding his shirt up and over his head - but once they got there, on that wide bed with Kris half-naked under Adam, everything seemed to slow down again. Adam's morning stubble rubbed against Kris's chest as he licked at Kris's nipples and Kris grabbed at Adam's hair, soft and thick and product-free.
Adam popped open the button on Kris's jeans, slid down the zipper and pressed his hand down over Kris's cock as though they'd done it a thousand times before. It was another reminder of the unequal ground between them in this and Kris wished, for just a moment, that he'd let Brad kiss him some more, go further than just kissing, so that Adam wasn't the only one who knew what he was doing.
Then Adam yanked Kris's jeans and underwear down around his thighs and swallowed his cock whole, and Kris wasn't really doing much thinking at all. His brain felt like it blanked out and only returned after he'd come, moaning and kicking.
"I'm not going to fuck you," Adam said, and Kris was caught between feeling a little relieved and wondering if maybe he'd done something wrong. Adam seemed to catch on to Kris's weirdness, leaning down to give him a long, teasing kiss. "Don't worry, it'll happen soon enough." Kris shivered, arching into Adam's touch. "But not while you've still got this on." Adam caught Kris's hand, rolling Kris's wedding ring between his fingers. "Think of it as... incentive to come clean as quickly as possible. Because, after today, you are going to want me to fuck you."
"What-" Kris tried to catch his breath. "W-what are you gonna do?"
"First, you are going to return the favor. Reciprocation is a very lovely word." Adam brushed three of his fingers over Kris's mouth and grinned. "You are going to put that pretty, pretty mouth of yours on my cock." He pushed his fingers past Kris's lips and Kris let his mouth fall open, not able to take his eyes off of Adam's. "From the look on your face, I'm guessing it'll be all new to you, right?" Kris nodded, slow, licking against Adam's fingers. "Mmm, I think you'll like it. You've got such a perfect cocksucking mouth, Kris, you really do. It'd be a shame if you didn't enjoy giving head." Adam pulled his fingers out and Kris swallowed a few times, working the taste out of his mouth.
Adam flopped over onto his back next to Kris and wiggled out of his pants, tossing them away to land on the floor somewhere. It was- it wasn't the first time that Kris had seen Adam naked, not by a mile, but it was the first time that he was-
This part was new. Kris bit down on his lip and shot an uncertain glance up at Adam, who just smirked down at him, far too sure of himself. If Kris didn't- fuck, if he didn't want this so much, he'd walk out just to teach Adam a lesson.
But he did and all of this was Kris's fault anyway.
Kris tried to shift closer to Adam and got caught up in his own clothes, so he had to take a second to kick off his shoes and push his jeans and briefs off all the way. He slid up and kissed Adam's mouth first, pushing his tongue in and trying to kiss the smirk away. He could feel Adam's cock, hard against his leg, and he let himself shift and rub against it a little, until Adam pushed his mouth away and urged his head down.
So Kris obliged, pressing his mouth down along Adam's neck. He refused to let Adam rush him though, batting at Adam's hand when it got too forceful. Adam didn't taste the same as Katy and it was- it was new and it was Adam, so he wanted to explore it a little.
Adam's chest hair was slightly coarse under his tongue and it was strange to press his mouth against Adam's nipple and have so little give in the flesh around it. But Adam seemed to really like it when Kris tugged with his teeth and sucked, so Kris spent a few minutes curled up on top of him, leaving marks around his nipples. Some of them might even last a couple of days. Then he moved down a little further, sliding his hand under Adam's cock and trying to figure out a plan of attack.
Adam was big.
Kris had known that before, but it was different when he was actually holding Adam's cock in his hand. Wide and long and hard, swollen and heavy. He glanced up again at Adam, not sure if he could take that smug look right now, but Adam was just staring, his eyes narrowed slightly like they always were when he was concentrating. Kris took in a steadying breath and then ducked his head down again, licking the very tip of Adam's cock.
He'd- he'd tasted his own come before, and Adam's pre-come didn't taste so different. Maybe a little stronger. Kris relaxed and licked at it again. Adam's hips twitched slightly, not really moving. Kris licked carefully down along the shaft, stopping for a second when he reached the base. Adam had hair there, a lot more than Kris did, and it was slightly darker than his chest hair, though still fairly light. Kris pressed a kiss to Adam's hip, sucking a tiny mark there, too. One of Adam's hands was on his head again, but he wasn't trying to make Kris do anything this time, just stroking through his hair.
Kris shifted over again, and leaned down to lick at Adam's balls, sucking the sac into his mouth and trying to be as gentle with his teeth as he could. Then he let it slip out again and kissed his way back up the shaft of Adam's cock, his mouth wet and open. He let his mouth linger on the ridge around the head, tongue licking out for tiny tastes. Then he took in another deep breath and let it out, slipping his mouth around the head of Adam's cock and holding it inside.
His tongue was pressed against Adam's cock because- because it couldn't not be, and the taste was filling his mouth and his whole world. He let himself slip down a bit, and Adam bumped against the back of his throat and Kris shivered and tried to keep himself from coughing. He still ended up needing to back off to try to get his bearings again. He took in a few big, gulping breaths, and he'd wanted so much to make this good for Adam.
"It's okay, baby," Adam said, rumbly and low, and Kris blinked open his eyes and looked up. Adam traced a finger along Kris's mouth. "I don't expect you to do that yet."
Yet.
Kris had to reach down and rub his hand over his own cock, half-hard. Then he braced himself properly again and pressed more lingering kisses against Adam's cock. He let himself get lost in it, closing his eyes and breathing in, reminding himself that he didn't need to take in more than the head when he sucked. After a little while longer, he felt Adam's hand on his face again.
"Hey, there," Adam said, and Kris wrinkled his nose up a little, pulling off so that he could suck one of Adam's fingers into his mouth, though for only a second before Adam pulled it away. Adam chuckled and his other hand was rubbing at Kris's back. "So, we can stop here and you can jerk me off the rest of the way or you can let me come in your mouth. Got a preference?"
Kris had to glance away, the mental images a little overwhelming. But he- if he actually thought about what he wanted-
"I want-" Kris licked his lips, the taste of Adam's cock thick on his tongue. "I want you to- in my mouth."
Adam grunted, like Kris had punched him or something and, when Kris looked up, his face kinda looked that way, too. He brushed his fingers over Kris's mouth again, but almost frantically. His eyes had gone dark and hot, more so than before and he was moving away, for no reason that Kris could figure at first. "On your back," Adam said and- oh, Kris's mouth felt dry now, but he did what Adam wanted. And Adam was grabbing a couple of things from the table next to the bed and fussing with pillows and putting them behind Kris's head and back and it all became clear once Adam was on his knees in front of Kris, his cock pretty much right in front of Kris's mouth.
Kris swallowed hard.
"Okay, open your mouth up," Adam said. Kris breathed in sharp through his nose, and then dropped his jaw down, and there was something so much more deliberate about doing it this way. "Stick out your tongue and let it rest against your lower lip." After Kris had done that, Adam placed the head of his cock on Kris's tongue, the tip of it inside his mouth, and then Kris saw him reaching down for a tube laying on the bed next to them. Adam squirted some of the lube onto his hands and rubbed them together for a few seconds, then took himself in hand. He was jerking himself off steadily, not letting his cock slip away from Kris's mouth. Kris had to keep swallowing, mouth open, and then Adam's other hand was holding Kris's jaw in place and Adam whimpered, his hips jerking slightly, and-
Kris flinched as the hot splash of Adam's come hit the back of his throat, and his hands clenched in Adam's sheets. Three more hard pulses and he was having a hard time swallowing, and he could feel it slipping down his chin. Adam pulled away and he was rubbing his fingers up Kris's throat, smearing the come back up and into Kris's mouth. Kris shuddered and closed his mouth around Adam's fingers, sucking.
"I'm not going to tell you how long I've wanted to do that," Adam said, and he was stroking Kris's cock with his other hand now, still slippery with lube. "Too long. Was it more than you wanted?"
Kris swallowed one more time and then Adam slipped his fingers back out of Kris's mouth. Kris's eyes met Adam's and... Adam was looking a little embarrassed. Kris very deliberately licked out at his lower lip, tongue lingering on flesh he knew had to be swollen and red, and he shook his head. "Liked it," he said, shifting his hips up into Adam's touch. " 's good."
Adam grinned, leaning forward and kissing Kris. "Natural cocksucker," he said, and he sounded so thoroughly delighted. "Shakira was wrong; it's the lips that don't lie."
"Uh-huh," Kris said, thrusting up again. "Really not the best time for- for conversation."
"Yeah," Adam said and then he stopped jerking Kris off. Kris gaped at Adam for a second in outrage and then he reached down to touch himself. Adam grabbed his hand - grabbed both of them - and pinned them together over Kris's head with one hand. "You probably want a little less of that and a little more action."
"Didn't sign up for song lyric story hour," Kris complained, trying and failing to wriggle so that he could maybe rub off against Adam. "A-dam!"
"I love the way you say my name," Adam said, leaning over and Kris was sure that he was strong enough to get loose from Adam's hands, or maybe he would be if he didn't need to come so badly. And then Adam was straightening back up and looping something around Kris's hands and-
"Hey," Kris said, trying to figure out how Adam had tied his hands against the headboard so damn quickly. "This is so not fair. Adam!"
"I made you a promise," Adam said, and he was getting off the bed. But before Kris could do more than say his name in protest, Adam was kneeling down next to it and - was he pulling something out from under the bed? Kris craned his neck trying to see, but he couldn't lean over far enough. It sounded like he was opening up a chest or something and rustling through it. And then Adam was tossing something up on the bed and Kris's eyes widened a little.
Adam sat back on the bed and picked up the- well, he picked it up and waved it at Kris. "You've seen these before, right?"
"That's a vibrator," Kris said, and it was... it was smaller than Adam, at least, but it had one of those odd beading pattern things on it that Kris was pretty sure twisted around or something. "Katy- um. Katy has a couple."
"And you've never-"
"No, I-" Kris swallowed. "I wouldn't have wanted her to-" Adam nodded, but something in his eyes was sad, which Kris didn't like. "Are you- what are you going do?"
"Not fuck you," Adam said, which wasn't any more informative this time, either. He slotted a couple of batteries into the vibrator and closed it up again. "Should I tie your legs up, too, or can you spread them for me?"
And Adam couldn't possibly expect Kris to actually answer that, what with his brain seizing up and dying just being asked. "I-uh. I don't- You could- fuck-" He didn't even think he could move his legs right now. Adam studied him for a second and Kris realized that he was shaking all over and he tried to get himself to stop.
He didn't want Adam to think he couldn't handle this.
"I can- I can do it," Kris managed to say and it took him a second, but he got his legs apart, and he could feel his face flushing all over. Adam pressed a hand against one ankle and pushed it up on the bed, opening Kris up further so that Adam could see. When Adam let go again, Kris did his best to keep his foot where it was, though it slid down a little. Then Adam's slick fingers were pressing just under Kris's cock and he couldn't stop himself from moaning, his hips rocking against Adam's fingers.
Light, light touches that were going to drive him crazy; that seemed to be Adam's plan. Kris could feel himself sweating and he was tugging against the restraints not so much because he wanted to escape but just because he wanted more. Begging didn't do any good; Adam just grazed over his skin and kept stroking gently. Once or twice, his fingers dipped down past the ring of muscle, making Kris jerk in place and try to catch his breath.
"Ready for the next step?" Adam asked.
"Yes, please," Kris said, trying to stretch toward Adam. "Oh, yes."
Adam picked up the vibrator and rubbed his fingers over the tip, then he switched it on, and Kris could see it shaking and hear the buzzing motor. He licked his lips and waited. Adam pressed it against him and Kris flinched at how cold it was against his overheated skin. He waited for Adam to push it inside, but he didn't, he just held it there.
"Adam," Kris said, and he couldn't get any closer that he was. "Adam, are you- will you?"
"I told you that I wasn't going to fuck you," Adam said, and he rolled the tip around the outside of Kris's hole and the vibrations were... Kris could feel them going straight to his dick and it was so so good but not enough and he just needed- he needed-
"Please," Kris said, cracked and needy. He licked his lips, tried to be rational. "If you won't- you could put your dick in my- in my mouth again. I- is there anything else you've wanted to do? You can. You can do a- anything. Brad said- said you liked biting. You can leave marks. Anywhere. Anywhere you want." Adam's gaze shifted up to meet his and Kris smiled encouragingly. "Yeah. I don't mind. Anywhere. I don't care if people see them. Do you- do you like that? People watching you? I could that for you. You can fu- fuck me at the VMAs if you want. The Grammys. On tape? Do you like being taped? I can do that." Kris swallowed a couple of times, tried to make his mouth less dry. "Please, pu- put it inside me, Adam. Or. Or on my dick? I think that would be- I just need a little more."
"In the middle of a crowded club?" Adam asked, the vibrator slotting down to rest right against his hole. "Maybe fucking you right up against a wall? And you see someone taking pictures and you know that Kim- that your mom's going to see them?"
Kris stared at Adam, eyes wide, and he felt like his heart was about ready to pound out of his chest, and then he nodded. "Okay. I can- if you want."
"Oh, baby, you'd say anything right now." And Adam sounded so amused. Kris bit down on his lip and whimpered. "Tell me more. More things that you would do for me."
"We could-" Kris shook his head, trying to think of something Adam would like to hear. "You could- in front of Katy. On my knees in front of you and she- she comes in and I just- I keep going." The vibrator jumped a little in Adam's hand, pushing against where Kris wanted it. Kris hummed softly, happily, and kept talking. "You could come ho- come home with me. For Christmas. Fuck me in my old room." Adam was staring at him now, that look he sometimes had when Kris was surprising him. "I could be-when you have a solo tour, I could be a special guest. You could tie me down on stage. Do anything. Yeah? And pretend that it was just acting afterward." Kris tilted his hips invitingly and lowered his voice. "Right now, you could fuck me. No playing pretend. Hard as you want; I won't break. C'mon, Adam. Fuck me. I want it."
Adam was leaning down toward him and he pushed his hand forward and the head of the vibrator slipped inside Kris, stretching him, and he couldn't hold back his satisfied moan. Adam's gaze cleared up, snapping back into focus, and he slid the vibrator back out again. Kris whined and shifted his hips, but Adam just turned it off. He pressed his fingers against Kris's hole, slipping the tips of two inside and Kris held his breath, waiting hopefully.
"How badly do you want me to fuck you right now?" Adam asked.
"Please," Kris breathed, and he didn't think he'd ever been harder in his life.
"Is there anything you wouldn't do?" Adam asked. Kris shook his head, teeth biting down hard on his lip. And Adam pulled his fingers out again, but he wrapped his hand around Kris's cock this time and it only took three hard strokes before Kris was shaking and coming all over himself. Adam untied his hands, holding the left one still for a second. He slid off Kris's wedding ring and held it out to him. "Then get a divorce."
Kris took the ring with trembling fingers and nodded. "Can- can I stay with you for a little longer? For some strange reason, I'm all tired out again." Adam laughed and tugged Kris up against him.
"Yeah," Adam said, kissing the top of his head. "I'm going to clean up and I'll join you. I've got to head into the studio later, though."
"Me, too," Kris said, and he watched as Adam went off to the bathroom. He still wasn't feeling too up to moving around, but Adam came back with a wet washcloth, so that was nice. Adam also took care of his toy, cleaning it up and putting it away, while Kris watched, checking out the size - really big - of the box that Adam had been looking through earlier. "If I- are you going to- I mean-"
"What about Drake?" Adam asked. Kris realized that he was still clutching his wedding ring and he placed it, carefully, on the nightstand next to the bed before he slid under the sheet. Adam joined him a moment later. "Drake is- not as complicated as Katy. He's a friend who was something more for a while, but it's not- it's not that big a deal. Let me worry about Drake. You... worry about Katy."
Kris snuggled up next to Adam and this was- this was something that they'd done before, but never without their clothes on until now. Adam felt just as nice without his clothes, though, warm and big and comforting.
"Brad was right," Kris said, half-asleep.
"About what?" Adam asked, sounding vaguely alarmed. Kris patted his arm in comfort.
"Didn't need makeup," he explained, eyes slowly shutting. "Jus' me."
"Yeah," Adam said, his breath warm against the back of Kris's neck. "That's all you've ever needed."
Kris let out a tiny, happy sigh and let himself drift off to sleep.
~the end~
Sequel available here: Piecing Together Us
Summary: Kris gets and takes a little advice.
Pairings: Kris/Adam; some Kris/Brad
Rating: NC-17
Notes: Sequel to Sublimation. Word count ~7,300.
A Little Taste of Liberation
He didn't really want to wake up. That was Kris's first semi-conscious thought. The bed that he was wallowing in was soft and warm and it smelled amazing. He blearily blinked open his eyes and stared over at an unfamiliar dresser that had his jeans and belt laid down on it.
There was a bustling, clanking noise coming from another room - or, no, it might just be from behind the privacy screens set up near the foot of the bed - that sounded like someone moving around a kitchen and that might be worth waking up for.
He rolled over to his back and then sighed, memories of last night seeping back into his consciousness. Brad had been even more... blunt and perceptive than Kris had expected, though he couldn't pretend-
He couldn't pretend it wasn't what he'd been looking for.
Kris slid out of the bed, socks slipping a little bit on the bare floor. He went to the bathroom and washed the sleep out of his eyes, then turned around and leaned back against the sink. He'd noticed the photograph last night, though he'd been a little distracted by seeing Brad go through a similar routine to the one that he'd watched Adam do night after night, and it was just as striking this morning. Two naked men - definitely naked - but it wasn't at all cheap or sleazy, rendered in a soft-focus black and white, the blurriness to the edges something that was obviously an artist choice. It made it less about the specific couple and more about... about the feeling, about lingering warmth and something deeper than lust.
When he was done in the bathroom, Kris wandered out in the direction of the kitchen, pulling his jeans on along the way. He slumped sideways against the counter, and tried to figure out what Brad was actually making.
“Are those eggs?” he asked, finally. Brad whirled around, a sharp grin on that fox-pointy face of his, spatula in hand.
“They are... an egg-like product,” Brad said, nodding with authority. He was wearing a pair of thin gray sweats that clung to his legs - Kris had never noticed what a skinny guy he was before now - and nothing else.
“Are you vegan?” Kris asked and Brad laughed with an odd, light trill and set the spatula down on the counter.
“Oh, heavens, no,” he said and he seemed more 'on' this morning, more Cheeks and less Brad. “But I had one over the other day and he brought his own food - can you imagine? - but then he forgot to take it with him. Serves him right. It's very presumptuous to assume that you'll be invited to stay the night, don't you think?”
“It's not ever something I've given much thought to,” Kris admitted.
“Well, you are hopping directly over the clubbing portion of your come-out and going straight for the gold,” Brad said, his expression turning more serious. “Aren't you?”
“Am I...?”
“Picking the glitter and glam over... well, both of us know what you'd be leaving behind. Texas isn't so far off from Arkansas that I don't know how tough it can be,” Brad said, and his voice was lower than Kris had heard it before. His smile softened. “When you're born different, like us, it's never easy.”
Kris swallowed hard, biting down on his lip. He... he didn't really deserve to be put in the same category as Brad. He'd seen the pictures. Brad hadn't ever been afraid of going out and being himself, no matter what people thought of it. Kris had just... sorta drifted along in life. He didn't think that he was a bad person, not by a long shot, but he wasn't always very brave. He knew himself, knew that he'd often submerged his own, admittedly lukewarm, desires under the more powerful directions that the people he cared about had given to him. Even... especially with Katy.
It wasn't until he'd met Adam that he'd really seen how much more he could try to be.
“So, eat up, you've gotta be at least a little bit hungry,” Brad said, waving over at the table near the kitchen - Kris saw that two places had already been set. There was a plate in the middle with some toast on it, so Kris sat down and grabbed a slice. No glasses, but there was a plastic bottle of orange juice that Kris uncapped gratefully. When Kris was about half-way through eating his toast, Brad brushed up next to him and flipped half of the 'egg-like product' onto Kris's plate, putting the rest of it on his own plate before putting the skillet in his sink.
“Thanks,” Kris said, once Brad had gotten settled. Brad just shrugged, but there was a tiny smile playing around the corners of his mouth. “I mean. I mean for-”
“Oh, don't ruin it,” Brad said, waving a hand at Kris, and Kris relaxed gratefully. He'd never been particularly good with words that weren't song lyrics. “Have more toast. I'm just glad you woke up before everything got cold, because there is nothing sadder than cold eggs.” Brad shuddered delicately and Kris bit back a laugh. Brad stuck his fork into the yellowish substance on his plate. “Or, I suppose, cold egg-like product.”
Kris took a bite of his own not-eggs and, surprisingly, “These are pretty good,” he said. The rest of the breakfast passed mostly in an easy silence.
Afterwards, Kris went back out to the couch to check on his phone - he'd left it on silent and ended up with six missed calls. Probably half of them were from Katy, since he'd told her he was going out but, since he hadn't been planning on falling asleep, she'd probably assumed he'd be back that night.
"That the real world reminding you of who you're supposed to be?" Brad asked, leaning on the back of the couch. Kris shrugged and clicked through to check the numbers - three calls from Katy, two from his mom. One from management, but that wasn't going to be any big deal or they'd have called more than once. Brad was close enough that he could probably read the names as clearly as Kris could and he laughed a little. "So, the missus missed you. Does she have a clue that you like boys or is it all going to come as a nasty shock?"
"The first time we broke up was because I kissed a guy," Kris said, mouth twisting as he remembered. "I convinced her that it wasn't a big deal - and it wasn't. He didn't- I guess that made her- she figures that feelings I have for guys don't matter, maybe, because she's been so sweet with Adam. Every time I try to tell her that I-" He'd tried to confess his feelings about Adam to Katy at least a dozen times, only to have her laugh and giggle over how cute his 'crush' was and then change the subject. "-I don't know. She doesn't take it seriously. And I didn't want to push it because-" He didn't want 'Adam' to be a word that ever hurt Katy and he wasn't sure how to avoid that.
"Hmm, maybe she's doing it on purpose," Brad said. "If she laughs off your relationship with Adam, then you never actually talk about it. The word divorce never comes up." Kris couldn't stop himself from flinching. Brad climbed up and over the back of the couch, sliding down to straddle Kris's hips.
"Hello?" Kris asked, with half a laugh. Brad was a light guy - Kris could probably toss him off with no trouble - but he couldn't quite understand why Brad was in his lap in the first place. Brad plucked Kris's phone from his hands and threw it over to the coffee table, where Kris could hear it sliding off the other side to land on the floor. "I was going to use that."
"Did you ever cheat on Katy with another girl?" Brad asked and Kris huffed out an indignant breath. "Oh, do not pretend that kissing someone else isn't cheating. I don't care if you didn't want to buy a house and adopt a dog with the guy; you were obviously attracted to him. And this whole... orchestrated seduction that you're planning for Adam? That's cheating, in every possible way. It's not just bodies, your heart is involved." Brad pressed his hand against Kris's chest.
Kris licked his lips because - yeah. Yes.
"Now, if I were a nice guy, I'd tell you to go home to your wife and sort everything out," Brad said, tilting his head slightly as he stared down at Kris. "I'd tell you to get that divorce and, after the dust settles, go after Adam. That's what a nice, responsible guy would suggest, I think."
"You don't think you're a nice guy?" Kris asked and Brad shifted his weight, and he wasn't any heavier but, for a reason Kris couldn't figure, Kris seemed to feel him more. He'd heard a lot of stories about Brad and... okay, 'nice' wasn't the main word that Adam used, but he'd always gotten the impression that Brad was a good guy. Definitely a trustworthy one - Adam had spoken very highly of his ability to keep a secret.
"You tell me," Brad said and then he was leaning over and pressing his mouth against Kris's. Kris pushed him away, gasping a little in surprise.
"That's not what I came here for," Kris said, about half a second from throwing Brad off him entirely. "It's not about guys; it's about Adam."
"Yeah, keep telling yourself that, princess," Brad said and there was an edge to his voice that hadn't been there before. "Better yet, tell it to someone who hasn't met a million straight guys willing to go to their knees-"
Kris pushed him off, not even apologizing at the hurt sound he made when he landed on the floor in an awkward sprawl. "Fuck you," Kris said, bouncing up to his feet. He got his shoes from next to Brad's dresser and slipped them on, then grabbed his bag, slinging it over his shoulder. He was reaching for the door, forcing his hand to stay steady, when Brad touched his back. Kris whirled around, pushing down more shit that he didn't need to say, but Brad-
Brad was holding his phone out to him, and he looked like he was maybe sorry, a little.
"It's not about guys," Kris said, again, putting his phone in his back pocket. "I can handle that. It made me mess up once, but that was the only time. If I just wanted to screw Adam, this wouldn't be a big deal."
"Yeah, there are probably a lot of guys that you never fucked," Brad said and if there'd been even the slightest hint of mocking, Kris would have turned around again and left, but his voice was soft. "Did you get married to keep yourself good?"
"It wasn't like that," Kris said. "Not ever. Katy and I were together for years. I care a lot about her."
"Adam hasn't told me all that much about you," Brad said, cocking his head. "Keeping it private, I guess. But... once when he was trying to explain to me why you were such good friends, he said that you two- you both knew what it was like to be lonely when you were growing up."
"That was before Katy and I got together," Kris said, then he reached up and rubbed at his forehead, because that had come out all wrong and he couldn't really blame Brad for the look on his face. "I'm not saying that she- it happened around the same time, that's all."
"Big coincidence," Brad said and it was obvious that he didn't believe that, but it really wasn't any of his business anyway, so Kris wasn't going to rush to correct him this time. He'd just end up stumbling over his words again anyway. "I'm going to give you some advice - or maybe just lay out a couple of options."
"Yeah?"
"Don't bother with the makeup," Brad said. "I mean, if you like it, sure, do it later, but not the first time. It's going to be hard enough for him believe it's real even if you go as yourself."
"I thought it might make it easier," Kris said, looking down, his gaze focusing on the worn carpet - there was one particularly threadbare place right under Brad's foot. "For both of us."
"Easier doesn't mean better," Brad said. "And because I'm not that nice guy I was talking about earlier, my real advice is to go to Adam first, before you talk to your wife." Kris glanced up, startled. "Yeah, I said that he tends to respect marriage more than I do, but for you-"
"You're so sure that I've already made up my mind," Kris said.
"You came here," Brad said, reaching up and tapping Kris's nose. Kris jerked back a little, startled, and Brad grinned at him. "The apartment of the dreaded ex."
Kris laughed. "No one dreads you." Brad sighed, rather dramatically, which just made Kris laugh harder. "If you want potential boyfriends to be afraid of you, maybe you shouldn't stay close friends with people after a breakup."
Then Kris pressed his lips together, because he hadn't ever let himself even think that too loudly. Potential boyfriend. It- it...
It was a little bit overwhelming, just thinking about it. Kris let himself breathe for a while and realized that Brad was petting the side of his face, which was silly and not something he needed at all, but... it did kinda feel nice, so he didn't get around to objecting. Then Brad pressed a soft kiss against Kris's cheek but- that was okay, Adam had done that sort of thing all the time, to Kris and to Matt and to all of the girls.
"We get into this business because we're dreamers," Brad said, quiet against Kris's skin. "That's the one thing we all have in common. Let yourself dream, Kris. Fuck the consequences."
Kris felt himself nod, shaky and - okay, he could admit it - scared out of his mind. He wrapped an arm around Brad's shoulders and pressed an answering kiss against the line of Brad's jaw, closing his eyes for a second. Brad ducked his head down, kissed at the base of Kris's neck which was... maybe getting inappropriate again, but before Kris could more than part his lips to say so, Brad was biting - fuck - really hard, and Kris banged up back against the door but Brad was following him, sucking hard.
"Holy fuck," Kris said, pushing Brad away and reaching up to touch his throbbing skin. "This isn't Twilight, are you completely nuts?"
"That was not for you," Brad said, smiling like a man who wasn't about to get punched. "That was for Adam. Tell him I said hi."
"Do you-"
"He really likes it," Brad said. He twirled his fingers around to imply that Kris should leave now. "That's your Adam tip of the day - go forth and enjoy."
Kris stared for a little longer, trying to figure out if hitting Brad would even be worth it. Brad twinkled at him, barefoot and shirtless and totally unrepentant. Finally, Kris just fumbled behind himself for the doorknob and let himself out, feeling like he'd just lost some bizarre game that he hadn't even realized he was playing.
He'd rented a car last night, a nondescript thing that he couldn't imagine anyone wanting to follow and certainly not for him. He was, as of this particular moment in time, known as completely lacking in scandal, after all. And it was early yet, earlier than he'd really expected Brad to be awake, because it was definitely earlier than Adam liked to be awake.
Kris got into the car and considered his choices, putting the car into drive and going the only place he could.
The security at Adam's place knew to let him through, of course, and he had a key for the door. Adam's house was quiet, which probably meant no one was up yet. He knew Adam was in town, though - everyone did. He didn't go to Adam's bedroom but holed up in the sunny corner nook of the kitchen, stealing one of Adam's oranges and peeling it slowly.
After he finished eating the orange, he wandered to the family room, where he found something new - sometime after Kris had last seen the place, Adam had acquired a baby grand, black and majestic in a place of honor. Kris grinned, sliding his fingers along the soft glossy finish. It wasn't entirely unexpected, because Adam had said something about wanting to work on music together but it was-
Oh, it was really, really nice.
Kris settled himself behind the piano and stroked a few keys, then winced slightly. Well, no one had ever needed Adam to know how to tune a piano. Kris bounced up again, ready to see if whoever had delivered the piano had also left something to help with tuning.
"I thought I heard something."
Kris turned around, already smiling. Adam was leaning against the doorframe, loose pants only just hanging on around his hips, arms crossed over his bare chest. The look in his eyes was soft and fond and Kris's heart tightened because - because that's what he'd realized and that's what had brought him to this moment. He wanted to see that look all the time; he wanted Adam to look at him like that every day for the rest of their lives.
"I missed you," Kris said, shrugging, pacing toward Adam. "Is- are you alone?"
"Yeah," Adam said, tilting his head a little, the picture of curiosity. "Drake shouldn't be around until tomorrow. Why?"
"This would be a lot more awkward if he were here," Kris said and he was close to Adam now and Adam's wrinkled up that space between his eyebrows and he's standing straight, watching Kris carefully. Kris placed his hands on Adam's shoulders, fingers sliding a little, skin against skin. Adam's lips parted, like he was maybe going to ask a question but he didn't get the chance, not before Kris pushed himself up onto his toes and kissed Adam's mouth softly.
His eyes closed, not really with his permission, but he was busy thinking about everything else - Adam's skin, warm under his fingertips, and the soft give of Adam's mouth, and the way Adam smelled before he put on his cologne, sleepy and familiar. The startled noise that Adam made into his mouth was new, but Kris liked it and he decided that he was going to make Adam sound that way a lot in the future.
After a few more moments, Kris dropped back down to his heels, breaking the kiss and opening his eyes again - Adam followed him down half of the way, chasing his mouth. Adam was definitely breathing harder now, and over just a kiss.
"Are you- what's going on?" Adam asked, and his gaze kept dropping down to Kris's mouth. "Is- is this a rebound thing? Did you and Katy-"
"No," Kris said, sliding his hands down Adam's chest and getting him to unfold his arms. He encouraged Adam to put his hands on Kris's waist and grinned when he succeeded, one of Adam's fingers slipping between his shirt and jeans to gently press against his skin. "I mean. Not yet. I came here first."
"That seems backwards," Adam said. "You're really supposed to-" Adam's mouth quirked a little and then he bent down, brushing a tiny kiss across the corner of Kris's mouth. "-supposed to have the breakup before the rebound."
"You keep saying rebound, you're gonna get smacked," Kris said, pushing on Adam's stomach and getting him to stumble backwards, into the hallway. Adam's gaze drifted down and then he froze for a second and - ah, right, Brad's calling card.
"Who's been marking you up?" Adam asked, reaching up and touching his fingers to Kris's neck. "This from your wife?"
"I was at Brad's last night," Kris said, and he had to shift back when Adam's fingers pressed harder, hurting a little.
"My Brad?" Adam asked, and he'd just gotten more tense all over. "Looks like it was a real friendly visit."
"Your ex-boyfriend mauls me, that's not my fault," Kris said, lightly, and Adam's mouth tightened. "It wasn't even about me, idiot. He was sending some stupid message to you."
"He's not doing it again," Adam said and Kris blinked because Adam- Adam never- but as quickly as the hard look in his eyes had arrived, it was gone again. Adam's hand gentled, too, stroking along Kris's skin, rubbing up under the neck of his shirt. "Didn't I get you this?" Kris nodded, biting down on his lip. Adam crowded a little closer and Kris breathed in sharply, tilting his head back. "Looks good on you."
"Thanks," Kris said.
"Brad's never liked a mystery," Adam said. "Well, he's never liked other people to be mysteries. I might have made you too much of one."
"I'm not really all that-"
Adam's finger was on his mouth, and Kris ended up swallowing the rest of his sentence.
"He doesn't get to figure you out, though," Adam said, firmly. "That's mine."
And Kris didn't get the chance to say any of the words knocking around in his head - about not being a mystery or even very interesting; about how he's maybe afraid that Adam's going to realize that some day - because Adam was kissing him again, thumbing at the corner of his mouth to get him to open it up.
He doesn't really remember how they got to Adam's bedroom - Adam kept distracting him with kisses and sliding his shirt up and over his head - but once they got there, on that wide bed with Kris half-naked under Adam, everything seemed to slow down again. Adam's morning stubble rubbed against Kris's chest as he licked at Kris's nipples and Kris grabbed at Adam's hair, soft and thick and product-free.
Adam popped open the button on Kris's jeans, slid down the zipper and pressed his hand down over Kris's cock as though they'd done it a thousand times before. It was another reminder of the unequal ground between them in this and Kris wished, for just a moment, that he'd let Brad kiss him some more, go further than just kissing, so that Adam wasn't the only one who knew what he was doing.
Then Adam yanked Kris's jeans and underwear down around his thighs and swallowed his cock whole, and Kris wasn't really doing much thinking at all. His brain felt like it blanked out and only returned after he'd come, moaning and kicking.
"I'm not going to fuck you," Adam said, and Kris was caught between feeling a little relieved and wondering if maybe he'd done something wrong. Adam seemed to catch on to Kris's weirdness, leaning down to give him a long, teasing kiss. "Don't worry, it'll happen soon enough." Kris shivered, arching into Adam's touch. "But not while you've still got this on." Adam caught Kris's hand, rolling Kris's wedding ring between his fingers. "Think of it as... incentive to come clean as quickly as possible. Because, after today, you are going to want me to fuck you."
"What-" Kris tried to catch his breath. "W-what are you gonna do?"
"First, you are going to return the favor. Reciprocation is a very lovely word." Adam brushed three of his fingers over Kris's mouth and grinned. "You are going to put that pretty, pretty mouth of yours on my cock." He pushed his fingers past Kris's lips and Kris let his mouth fall open, not able to take his eyes off of Adam's. "From the look on your face, I'm guessing it'll be all new to you, right?" Kris nodded, slow, licking against Adam's fingers. "Mmm, I think you'll like it. You've got such a perfect cocksucking mouth, Kris, you really do. It'd be a shame if you didn't enjoy giving head." Adam pulled his fingers out and Kris swallowed a few times, working the taste out of his mouth.
Adam flopped over onto his back next to Kris and wiggled out of his pants, tossing them away to land on the floor somewhere. It was- it wasn't the first time that Kris had seen Adam naked, not by a mile, but it was the first time that he was-
This part was new. Kris bit down on his lip and shot an uncertain glance up at Adam, who just smirked down at him, far too sure of himself. If Kris didn't- fuck, if he didn't want this so much, he'd walk out just to teach Adam a lesson.
But he did and all of this was Kris's fault anyway.
Kris tried to shift closer to Adam and got caught up in his own clothes, so he had to take a second to kick off his shoes and push his jeans and briefs off all the way. He slid up and kissed Adam's mouth first, pushing his tongue in and trying to kiss the smirk away. He could feel Adam's cock, hard against his leg, and he let himself shift and rub against it a little, until Adam pushed his mouth away and urged his head down.
So Kris obliged, pressing his mouth down along Adam's neck. He refused to let Adam rush him though, batting at Adam's hand when it got too forceful. Adam didn't taste the same as Katy and it was- it was new and it was Adam, so he wanted to explore it a little.
Adam's chest hair was slightly coarse under his tongue and it was strange to press his mouth against Adam's nipple and have so little give in the flesh around it. But Adam seemed to really like it when Kris tugged with his teeth and sucked, so Kris spent a few minutes curled up on top of him, leaving marks around his nipples. Some of them might even last a couple of days. Then he moved down a little further, sliding his hand under Adam's cock and trying to figure out a plan of attack.
Adam was big.
Kris had known that before, but it was different when he was actually holding Adam's cock in his hand. Wide and long and hard, swollen and heavy. He glanced up again at Adam, not sure if he could take that smug look right now, but Adam was just staring, his eyes narrowed slightly like they always were when he was concentrating. Kris took in a steadying breath and then ducked his head down again, licking the very tip of Adam's cock.
He'd- he'd tasted his own come before, and Adam's pre-come didn't taste so different. Maybe a little stronger. Kris relaxed and licked at it again. Adam's hips twitched slightly, not really moving. Kris licked carefully down along the shaft, stopping for a second when he reached the base. Adam had hair there, a lot more than Kris did, and it was slightly darker than his chest hair, though still fairly light. Kris pressed a kiss to Adam's hip, sucking a tiny mark there, too. One of Adam's hands was on his head again, but he wasn't trying to make Kris do anything this time, just stroking through his hair.
Kris shifted over again, and leaned down to lick at Adam's balls, sucking the sac into his mouth and trying to be as gentle with his teeth as he could. Then he let it slip out again and kissed his way back up the shaft of Adam's cock, his mouth wet and open. He let his mouth linger on the ridge around the head, tongue licking out for tiny tastes. Then he took in another deep breath and let it out, slipping his mouth around the head of Adam's cock and holding it inside.
His tongue was pressed against Adam's cock because- because it couldn't not be, and the taste was filling his mouth and his whole world. He let himself slip down a bit, and Adam bumped against the back of his throat and Kris shivered and tried to keep himself from coughing. He still ended up needing to back off to try to get his bearings again. He took in a few big, gulping breaths, and he'd wanted so much to make this good for Adam.
"It's okay, baby," Adam said, rumbly and low, and Kris blinked open his eyes and looked up. Adam traced a finger along Kris's mouth. "I don't expect you to do that yet."
Yet.
Kris had to reach down and rub his hand over his own cock, half-hard. Then he braced himself properly again and pressed more lingering kisses against Adam's cock. He let himself get lost in it, closing his eyes and breathing in, reminding himself that he didn't need to take in more than the head when he sucked. After a little while longer, he felt Adam's hand on his face again.
"Hey, there," Adam said, and Kris wrinkled his nose up a little, pulling off so that he could suck one of Adam's fingers into his mouth, though for only a second before Adam pulled it away. Adam chuckled and his other hand was rubbing at Kris's back. "So, we can stop here and you can jerk me off the rest of the way or you can let me come in your mouth. Got a preference?"
Kris had to glance away, the mental images a little overwhelming. But he- if he actually thought about what he wanted-
"I want-" Kris licked his lips, the taste of Adam's cock thick on his tongue. "I want you to- in my mouth."
Adam grunted, like Kris had punched him or something and, when Kris looked up, his face kinda looked that way, too. He brushed his fingers over Kris's mouth again, but almost frantically. His eyes had gone dark and hot, more so than before and he was moving away, for no reason that Kris could figure at first. "On your back," Adam said and- oh, Kris's mouth felt dry now, but he did what Adam wanted. And Adam was grabbing a couple of things from the table next to the bed and fussing with pillows and putting them behind Kris's head and back and it all became clear once Adam was on his knees in front of Kris, his cock pretty much right in front of Kris's mouth.
Kris swallowed hard.
"Okay, open your mouth up," Adam said. Kris breathed in sharp through his nose, and then dropped his jaw down, and there was something so much more deliberate about doing it this way. "Stick out your tongue and let it rest against your lower lip." After Kris had done that, Adam placed the head of his cock on Kris's tongue, the tip of it inside his mouth, and then Kris saw him reaching down for a tube laying on the bed next to them. Adam squirted some of the lube onto his hands and rubbed them together for a few seconds, then took himself in hand. He was jerking himself off steadily, not letting his cock slip away from Kris's mouth. Kris had to keep swallowing, mouth open, and then Adam's other hand was holding Kris's jaw in place and Adam whimpered, his hips jerking slightly, and-
Kris flinched as the hot splash of Adam's come hit the back of his throat, and his hands clenched in Adam's sheets. Three more hard pulses and he was having a hard time swallowing, and he could feel it slipping down his chin. Adam pulled away and he was rubbing his fingers up Kris's throat, smearing the come back up and into Kris's mouth. Kris shuddered and closed his mouth around Adam's fingers, sucking.
"I'm not going to tell you how long I've wanted to do that," Adam said, and he was stroking Kris's cock with his other hand now, still slippery with lube. "Too long. Was it more than you wanted?"
Kris swallowed one more time and then Adam slipped his fingers back out of Kris's mouth. Kris's eyes met Adam's and... Adam was looking a little embarrassed. Kris very deliberately licked out at his lower lip, tongue lingering on flesh he knew had to be swollen and red, and he shook his head. "Liked it," he said, shifting his hips up into Adam's touch. " 's good."
Adam grinned, leaning forward and kissing Kris. "Natural cocksucker," he said, and he sounded so thoroughly delighted. "Shakira was wrong; it's the lips that don't lie."
"Uh-huh," Kris said, thrusting up again. "Really not the best time for- for conversation."
"Yeah," Adam said and then he stopped jerking Kris off. Kris gaped at Adam for a second in outrage and then he reached down to touch himself. Adam grabbed his hand - grabbed both of them - and pinned them together over Kris's head with one hand. "You probably want a little less of that and a little more action."
"Didn't sign up for song lyric story hour," Kris complained, trying and failing to wriggle so that he could maybe rub off against Adam. "A-dam!"
"I love the way you say my name," Adam said, leaning over and Kris was sure that he was strong enough to get loose from Adam's hands, or maybe he would be if he didn't need to come so badly. And then Adam was straightening back up and looping something around Kris's hands and-
"Hey," Kris said, trying to figure out how Adam had tied his hands against the headboard so damn quickly. "This is so not fair. Adam!"
"I made you a promise," Adam said, and he was getting off the bed. But before Kris could do more than say his name in protest, Adam was kneeling down next to it and - was he pulling something out from under the bed? Kris craned his neck trying to see, but he couldn't lean over far enough. It sounded like he was opening up a chest or something and rustling through it. And then Adam was tossing something up on the bed and Kris's eyes widened a little.
Adam sat back on the bed and picked up the- well, he picked it up and waved it at Kris. "You've seen these before, right?"
"That's a vibrator," Kris said, and it was... it was smaller than Adam, at least, but it had one of those odd beading pattern things on it that Kris was pretty sure twisted around or something. "Katy- um. Katy has a couple."
"And you've never-"
"No, I-" Kris swallowed. "I wouldn't have wanted her to-" Adam nodded, but something in his eyes was sad, which Kris didn't like. "Are you- what are you going do?"
"Not fuck you," Adam said, which wasn't any more informative this time, either. He slotted a couple of batteries into the vibrator and closed it up again. "Should I tie your legs up, too, or can you spread them for me?"
And Adam couldn't possibly expect Kris to actually answer that, what with his brain seizing up and dying just being asked. "I-uh. I don't- You could- fuck-" He didn't even think he could move his legs right now. Adam studied him for a second and Kris realized that he was shaking all over and he tried to get himself to stop.
He didn't want Adam to think he couldn't handle this.
"I can- I can do it," Kris managed to say and it took him a second, but he got his legs apart, and he could feel his face flushing all over. Adam pressed a hand against one ankle and pushed it up on the bed, opening Kris up further so that Adam could see. When Adam let go again, Kris did his best to keep his foot where it was, though it slid down a little. Then Adam's slick fingers were pressing just under Kris's cock and he couldn't stop himself from moaning, his hips rocking against Adam's fingers.
Light, light touches that were going to drive him crazy; that seemed to be Adam's plan. Kris could feel himself sweating and he was tugging against the restraints not so much because he wanted to escape but just because he wanted more. Begging didn't do any good; Adam just grazed over his skin and kept stroking gently. Once or twice, his fingers dipped down past the ring of muscle, making Kris jerk in place and try to catch his breath.
"Ready for the next step?" Adam asked.
"Yes, please," Kris said, trying to stretch toward Adam. "Oh, yes."
Adam picked up the vibrator and rubbed his fingers over the tip, then he switched it on, and Kris could see it shaking and hear the buzzing motor. He licked his lips and waited. Adam pressed it against him and Kris flinched at how cold it was against his overheated skin. He waited for Adam to push it inside, but he didn't, he just held it there.
"Adam," Kris said, and he couldn't get any closer that he was. "Adam, are you- will you?"
"I told you that I wasn't going to fuck you," Adam said, and he rolled the tip around the outside of Kris's hole and the vibrations were... Kris could feel them going straight to his dick and it was so so good but not enough and he just needed- he needed-
"Please," Kris said, cracked and needy. He licked his lips, tried to be rational. "If you won't- you could put your dick in my- in my mouth again. I- is there anything else you've wanted to do? You can. You can do a- anything. Brad said- said you liked biting. You can leave marks. Anywhere. Anywhere you want." Adam's gaze shifted up to meet his and Kris smiled encouragingly. "Yeah. I don't mind. Anywhere. I don't care if people see them. Do you- do you like that? People watching you? I could that for you. You can fu- fuck me at the VMAs if you want. The Grammys. On tape? Do you like being taped? I can do that." Kris swallowed a couple of times, tried to make his mouth less dry. "Please, pu- put it inside me, Adam. Or. Or on my dick? I think that would be- I just need a little more."
"In the middle of a crowded club?" Adam asked, the vibrator slotting down to rest right against his hole. "Maybe fucking you right up against a wall? And you see someone taking pictures and you know that Kim- that your mom's going to see them?"
Kris stared at Adam, eyes wide, and he felt like his heart was about ready to pound out of his chest, and then he nodded. "Okay. I can- if you want."
"Oh, baby, you'd say anything right now." And Adam sounded so amused. Kris bit down on his lip and whimpered. "Tell me more. More things that you would do for me."
"We could-" Kris shook his head, trying to think of something Adam would like to hear. "You could- in front of Katy. On my knees in front of you and she- she comes in and I just- I keep going." The vibrator jumped a little in Adam's hand, pushing against where Kris wanted it. Kris hummed softly, happily, and kept talking. "You could come ho- come home with me. For Christmas. Fuck me in my old room." Adam was staring at him now, that look he sometimes had when Kris was surprising him. "I could be-when you have a solo tour, I could be a special guest. You could tie me down on stage. Do anything. Yeah? And pretend that it was just acting afterward." Kris tilted his hips invitingly and lowered his voice. "Right now, you could fuck me. No playing pretend. Hard as you want; I won't break. C'mon, Adam. Fuck me. I want it."
Adam was leaning down toward him and he pushed his hand forward and the head of the vibrator slipped inside Kris, stretching him, and he couldn't hold back his satisfied moan. Adam's gaze cleared up, snapping back into focus, and he slid the vibrator back out again. Kris whined and shifted his hips, but Adam just turned it off. He pressed his fingers against Kris's hole, slipping the tips of two inside and Kris held his breath, waiting hopefully.
"How badly do you want me to fuck you right now?" Adam asked.
"Please," Kris breathed, and he didn't think he'd ever been harder in his life.
"Is there anything you wouldn't do?" Adam asked. Kris shook his head, teeth biting down hard on his lip. And Adam pulled his fingers out again, but he wrapped his hand around Kris's cock this time and it only took three hard strokes before Kris was shaking and coming all over himself. Adam untied his hands, holding the left one still for a second. He slid off Kris's wedding ring and held it out to him. "Then get a divorce."
Kris took the ring with trembling fingers and nodded. "Can- can I stay with you for a little longer? For some strange reason, I'm all tired out again." Adam laughed and tugged Kris up against him.
"Yeah," Adam said, kissing the top of his head. "I'm going to clean up and I'll join you. I've got to head into the studio later, though."
"Me, too," Kris said, and he watched as Adam went off to the bathroom. He still wasn't feeling too up to moving around, but Adam came back with a wet washcloth, so that was nice. Adam also took care of his toy, cleaning it up and putting it away, while Kris watched, checking out the size - really big - of the box that Adam had been looking through earlier. "If I- are you going to- I mean-"
"What about Drake?" Adam asked. Kris realized that he was still clutching his wedding ring and he placed it, carefully, on the nightstand next to the bed before he slid under the sheet. Adam joined him a moment later. "Drake is- not as complicated as Katy. He's a friend who was something more for a while, but it's not- it's not that big a deal. Let me worry about Drake. You... worry about Katy."
Kris snuggled up next to Adam and this was- this was something that they'd done before, but never without their clothes on until now. Adam felt just as nice without his clothes, though, warm and big and comforting.
"Brad was right," Kris said, half-asleep.
"About what?" Adam asked, sounding vaguely alarmed. Kris patted his arm in comfort.
"Didn't need makeup," he explained, eyes slowly shutting. "Jus' me."
"Yeah," Adam said, his breath warm against the back of Kris's neck. "That's all you've ever needed."
Kris let out a tiny, happy sigh and let himself drift off to sleep.
~the end~
Sequel available here: Piecing Together Us