can't believe december's here already. feels like i didn't do anything significant in 2010. in fact its been a pretty crappy year. in very little ways. 2009 was horrible but i grew up and learned so many things out of it. 2009 made me a much stronger person. 2009 i thought i fell in love. 2009 i lost someone forever. 2009 i lost my second cat. 2009 ( Read more... )

 Even if you think the flame has died, there’s at least one lyric that’ll hit that last hot spot, and then you’ll find yourself as fucked as you were the day you lied and said you never wanted to see him again.

oh fuck it already.

 Sure it was stupid, what I did yesterday. But it made me happy. At least for a bit. Being around you makes me happy. But no one gets it. They think I'm stupid. And sure, if someone else is doing exactly what they think I'm doing, I'd say she's stupid too. But I don't think I ever want to let this go. I can, surely. But I don't want to. Because you ( Read more... )

 “You can shed tears that she is gone, or you can smile because she has lived. You can close your eyes and pray that she'll come back,or you can open your eyes and see all she's left. Your heart can be empty because you can't see her,or you can be full of the love you shared. You can turn your back on tomorrow and live yesterday, or you can be ( Read more... )

 Nobody chooses to be a freak. Most people don’t even realize they’re a freak until it’s way too late to change it. No matter how much of a freak you end up being, chances are there’s still someone out there for you, unless, of course, they’ve already moved on.

Because when it comes to love, even freaks can’t wait forever.

 14 months and 7 days ago.
Oh, I know you know how we felt that night.

 Now there's a million questions
I could ask about our lives
But I only need one answer
To get me through the night

Is it right for both our parents
Who fight it out most nights
Then pray for God's forgiveness
When they both turn out the lights?

Or wear that ring of diamonds
When your heart is made of stone?
You can talk but still say nothing
You stay ( Read more... )

If you’ve ever lost someone, or been terribly hurt, I think it’s fair to say that no matter how good a job you’ve done grieving, no matter far you’ve gotten past the pain, you’re never really safe from feeling that loss again. You run across a picture. A thing they gave you. You hear a song, or someone says a phrase, and suddenly that loss and ( Read more... )

Do you remember, at the start, how small everything was? Smaller than a point. Like everything was somewhere between a thought, almost, and a reality, almost. And then I looked at you and thought

"?"

And then everything that would ever happen, happened. 

 Life is such a joke. I'm happy. I'm sad. I don't know how I feel. I don't know how to feel. Fasting month have been surprisingly easy for me. Sure there's the occasional break downs, just thinking of the first day of Raya. I don't even know what to do on the first day of Raya now. It used to be the awesome routine of visiting the paternal grandma ( Read more... )