im going to the beach tomorrow after my lecture and switch off my phone and sit and think and and and come home only when i feel like it cause i really need that peace and my space... i want someone to bring me for a drive talk to me ok fine, dont need to talk to me but i need that someone who i am really very comfortable with that silence that ( Read more... )

 hurts a little too much. saw this happening and yet i didnt. i dont know if it would ever be the same again. should never fucking have that much hope in anyone no matter how fucking close they are to you. past 2 years learnt too much and i dont know what to say. i wanna fucking get rid of everything that reminds me of things. every fucking thing ( Read more... )

 been a while since i wrote down whats been going on. welll, this sem has beeen erm i have not idea how i would even describe. but yeah. im was confused or am i still? dun ask me about what but it has always been the case no? but anyway, i've been having random conversations with random people, well not random but yeah, friends maybe? ha. but ( Read more... )

should i even say how i am feeling? 

 times like these, i dont wanna face anyone. take all my stuff go somewhere new where i dont have anything reminding me of anyone anything. i dont feel like meeting anyone. i really dont. i dont think any would ever get me. people might think i am thinking too much and whatever nots but seriously, i dont know. i am just hurting. i will be fine. so ( Read more... )

 it is a new year and whatever not. nye was good and it ended good at 6am in the morning. i've got so much shit going through my head i dont know why but im starting to tear. it's been fucking long since i actually ran to the toilet to cry cause i dont want anyone to see me crying. that happened yesterday. i need a break away from people. i dont ( Read more... )

i need a fucking break.

 on the way to my sister's now. just packed my whole room. room was almost empty and i called my goood friend and i could hear echoes in my own room as i spoke. like its so empty. just got reminded of the first time i moved into unilodge how i didnt wanna do up my room and leave it as it is, but now clearing it all up didnt make me feel that good. ( Read more... )

 i dont fucking know why i am crying now. my heart feels so heavy. i just want to cry to someone telling them how i feel. im scared to do that. so scared. however i am feeling now, feels so familiar to me, i dont want to face/feel/go through anything...

 you know, nothing much has been happening,but the way i am feeling now is fucking me up. i feel like crying. i dont know why i always get myself into this mess you know. i feel like crying now and i dont know why.  anyway, i wish i had someone i can really open up to. i dont wanna seem like i am whining well i know i am, but i just need someone to ( Read more... )