so what it comes down to
is that the last thirteen years of my life
i have spent day dreaming
and i wonder if i have discovered
a new reality
like an old man
looking at himself like a timeline

oh sweet lonelyness.
how could have i ever forgotten you
i wonder if dates are planed
becasue we are on a yearly cycle of forgetfulness
i wonder what it is im am really after
i spend my day
thinking what you might think about
and i don't think i am ever going to fgure it out

i wonder how much longer
i can think up new ways
to fill my empty gutters
this is to fast
and it seems that im just killing time.
oh my god...
how do you say...

whew..
there i go
that's better
now im safe
whats this new medication
i herd its called spring
imaginary carbon you couldn't dream of
making pictures in the sky
have a good day i say to myself
as it were a perfect world
all week
it payed off
with white light that could burn through mirrors

tonight....
hum
i don't have much to say about love
none of it is happening.
may haps im just being selfish
i some times don't know how to read.
or how did i ever learn
and where did i begin
two shots had gotten a good grasp on my absence
untile those bad dreams had forgotten strokes of genius.

i have resulted to laughing at myself over the lyrics of whispers
where is everyone to save me from drinking all day.
and i need a job.

deep out of air for comfort
2 inches aside my heart, for a present to eve
fells like a oak tree on valentines day
i worry some times about seeing through my eyelids.
unemployment gets me randy

no you hold on to it, it looks like you have a good thing going.
how am i ever going to get to sleep.

why does my back hurt so bad
i just finished a heart killer
why is my head burning complexity
giving the words away has no value
and questioning all the unnessecary
what it comes down to
i was fearful of the future
and i likd it
and curiousity killed everything i ever knew

anticipation
thats a fucker
that can't wait to get hands
on all the bad news coming way
thats the point for prolonged depression
snap out of it
god damn snap out of it
thats my first flower i gave away
-jonathan

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