i'm so afraid that im chasing everyone away.

the past couple of months were difficult to say the least. i never really confronted how i was feeling or what i was actually going through ( Read more... )

i really need to go out and distract myself. too much time alone is not a good thing.
i never really write anything worthwhile in here anymore. hmm.

i seem to enjoy making an ass of myself. i hate being in "those moods". it's very discouraging.
i need to get out. 
i need a straight answer. i hate mixed signals.

i feel like a hermit. been applying at a bunch of places. going to try panera tomorrow. 
blah. only 4 weeks.

 and instantly retarded once you try to drive when not on the interstate. i'm in chicaggy. so far i havent gone into the city yet because i was so fucking tired.. and i managed to get myself lost for 3 hours this morning trying to get back to the hotel. every street is the saaaaaame, and no one goes the speed limit so it's not like i could slow ( Read more... )

last day. probably never see him again.
why is this so heartbreaking?

get me out of this god forsaken place.

you'd think that when you actually find out who you really are, and what lifestyle you prefer, you'd be happy about it.
not crushed.
i might be leaving sooner than expected. but then again. i really have no clue as of yet.

i really enjoyed punch-drunk love. as the credits roll i turn to pat and say "well, that was pretty awesome"...he responds with " you would like that movie." a.k.a.-he thought it was lame. boo ( Read more... )