How am I to know wor. Y'know, some things just sents shivers down a guy's spine lah. LOL! So what is it like? I don't suppose you and hubby got grilled like in my imagined scenarios right? ;)
I recently encouraged a newly engaged couple to attend 'marriage counselling course'. They 0_0 at me. Wahahhaha.
Yeah lah, I also spent sometime to convince hubb to attend the course with me. The facilitator or MC encouraged us to talk more and then she wwould provide ways to improve our communication or ways to reduce conflict. No grilling lah and no imparting of kamasutra101. LOL. Not to scare you... during one of the session, we were quite emotional and I even teared. :P
I also will *hoot* you if you had suggested it to J ah! Tsk! :)
Heh, I see your hubb was initially reluctant too huh? And babe, you confirmed my worst fears leh ... getting touchy-feely-weepy in front of a stranger! ACK!!! How come the couple has to do so much talking? Please don't tell me it's more touchy-feely stuff?! *gulp* What, no karmasutra 101?! Blast!!! :\
We haven't decided which yet. Woah, you seem to know quite a bit dude (erm, I assume you're a guy?). Been through one?
Um, I still feel awkward about being "intense" in front of a stranger. There are sides to myself that I don't show, except to my gal. Outwardly, I'm gorilla boy to the world lah! :)
Yeah, it's important for her so I'll do ... but it sure feels like a lamb to the slaughter. :\
I went for a MGC (Marriage Guidance Course) with TSO prior to our ROM and the big plunge to Germ land. And to my horror it was a group MGC. More like workshop style and spanned over 3 Sundays. Almost felt like I was in AA or something.
Me: "Hello my name is Infusionz. And I'm getting married"
All: "Hello Infusionz!"
LOL! It was strange alright. It involved everything from communication, responsibilities, anger management, sex blah blah blah. It all sounds very Anthony Robbins-ish for me. Living in the present and not in the past or future. Eck. Worst 3 Sundays ever.
What the ...?! Hokay, this MGC thingy sounds downright creepy! *shudder* From how you described it, I can imagine the ordeal you went through brudder ... and over 3 weekends some more! o_O
How large was the group man? Isn't there an option to either take it as a couple only ... or even individually? Man, did all the guys in the group look like poor lambs being led to the slaughter? :\
So tell me, was it mostly cookie-cutter, "7 Habits" kinda stuff ... or was it remotely helpful?
It was a group of about 5 couples. Ok it wasn't as AA-ish as I described coz I was exaggerating but you get the picture.
Like you, I'm not comfortable with voicing my feelings or whatever to a stranger. And attending the group one was actually better for me because looking at all the other poor sods in the lecture room made me feel comforted for some reason. Haha. I mean I'm in there from 9am to 5pm for 3 Sundays. It makes me happy to know that someone else is feeling my pain. LOL
Surprisingly, I found it quite useful and there was more than one time when the counsellor would say something that either I or TSO was guilty of and we'd exchange some nervous looks at each other. There was some self revelation that I experienced during the talks and discussion sessions. So I would say overall, it did do some good in identifying areas we should improve on. But nevertheless, the entire thing was painful.
Hokay, now I'm in a dilemma ... take the darn course in a group along with other suffering sods, or just J and me. Erm, but wasn't it awkward to talk about (I imagine) fairly private and personal things in front of strangers? I can't imagine the guys being very vocal. Pls tell me there weren't any embarassing touchy-feely-weepy moments!!!
Well, at least I'm glad to hear that it wasn't a total waste of time. That would've doubled the pain man! Yup, biting the bullet is quite an appropriate phrase huh? LOL!
my bro n his gf are also going for marriage counselling, but they r hiding the fact from me cos they r supposed to act like everything is fine and dandy. -_-; I found out cos he openly left the receipt in his car lah. Doh.
Not sure if it's helping but I hope it is. I think that since you and J love each other so much, Marriage Counselling can only do more good than bad. Have fun! :)
Erm, but everything is fine and dandy between J and me leh ... hmmm, or is there something she isn't telling me? :\
To be honest hor, I was in two minds when J dropped the bombshell. On one hand I can understand why she'd want to attend the course. Besides, strengthening the relationship (hopefully!), I guess it's also her way of preparing herself in whatever ways she can to make married life work for the both of us. Yeah, it tells me how much the Big M means to her.
On the other hand, I couldn't help wondering if there's something that might be bothering her, something she's not entirely happy about the gorilla. Heh, but maybe that's just thoughts arising from a guy's ego being mildly "bruised" lah. LOL!
oh man tell me about it. I told PT we should be going for one and he hem and haw all the way. Till date I haven't been successful. Letting the issue drag abit for a while coz he's concern about the $ we have to pay for the course. not cheap leh! he insist since the garment wants to encourage couples to stay together, the garment should make PMC foc! LOL I dunno to agree with him or piak my forehead!
perhaps you and J wanna start with the online questionnaire one first.. I plan to do it this weekend with him provide he stay still long enough.
Reading all these prior comments from your frns I'm kinda getting a little cold feet too. i don't fancy the both of us crying all over each other amongst other pple. Hell i don't want to know why another BTB refuse to give her hb a bj.. who knows if he have some disgusting habit! eeeeee..
Heh, I can sympathise with PT man. :) Erm, but he's probably buying time lah babe. LOL! Hmmm, but not a bad tactic ... maybe I should try it on J! Muahahaha! Yah, I'll probably have Mr Sofa and Arnold Plamer for company tonight ah! J very smart... she got me in my most relaxed, semi unconscious state! Tsk!
Yeah, we did talk about the online questionnaire too, but not sure if we'll take it lah. I think J is quite decided we'll be attending the course. *rolls eyes*
By one-on-one, you mean as a couple with PT right? I heard the couples can also take the course separately?
Babe, tell me this lah ... why women all so "eng" wanna attend this course ah? Issit coz they think us guys are hopeless at marriage and need training ... like sending dogs to dog school to be potty trained lidat? LOL! We guys that bad meh?
yeah one on one..with pt and counsellor.. my typo hehehe
hahah not so bad lah. but guys really need to be trained one leh. I rem PT din even bother to kiss me last time each time we meet up, I had to initiate it, and now he kiss me on his own accord without my hinting it LOL.
well from my pov is really nothing wrong with either me or him. its more like. ok.. marriage is something new, neither of us were married before, so whats in store for us? lets find out from people are able to give us advice. PT insist there is no need, and I ask him how can he be so absolutely sure he's 100% confident for marriage? well even without my asking I can tell he is ready for marriage by his proactiveness in our marriage preparation, his effort to save up for us, us spending more time together then before, to the extend I'm wondering if I'm less ready for marriage then him LOL well I know we are both ready.
Just that like I mention it would be nice to find out what grey areas we might have missed out considering before we take that ultimate plunge.
The part about training guys ... heh, quite true lah. But sometimes he learns so fast that need to un-train a little also ... like stopping him from showing too much PDA. LOL
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Yeah lah, I also spent sometime to convince hubb to attend the course with me. The facilitator or MC encouraged us to talk more and then she wwould provide ways to improve our communication or ways to reduce conflict. No grilling lah and no imparting of kamasutra101. LOL. Not to scare you... during one of the session, we were quite emotional and I even teared. :P
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Heh, I see your hubb was initially reluctant too huh? And babe, you confirmed my worst fears leh ... getting touchy-feely-weepy in front of a stranger! ACK!!! How come the couple has to do so much talking? Please don't tell me it's more touchy-feely stuff?! *gulp* What, no karmasutra 101?! Blast!!! :\
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very intense, but in a very good way if you let it be.
but its great to hear you say you'll bite the bullet and take it like a gorilla becos thats what she wants :)
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Um, I still feel awkward about being "intense" in front of a stranger. There are sides to myself that I don't show, except to my gal. Outwardly, I'm gorilla boy to the world lah! :)
Yeah, it's important for her so I'll do ... but it sure feels like a lamb to the slaughter. :\
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dude. yes.
been there done that.
how naive of you to think that it will merely be like a lamb to the slaughter. muahahahaha!!!
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Me: "Hello my name is Infusionz. And I'm getting married"
All: "Hello Infusionz!"
LOL! It was strange alright. It involved everything from communication, responsibilities, anger management, sex blah blah blah. It all sounds very Anthony Robbins-ish for me. Living in the present and not in the past or future. Eck. Worst 3 Sundays ever.
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How large was the group man? Isn't there an option to either take it as a couple only ... or even individually? Man, did all the guys in the group look like poor lambs being led to the slaughter? :\
So tell me, was it mostly cookie-cutter, "7 Habits" kinda stuff ... or was it remotely helpful?
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Like you, I'm not comfortable with voicing my feelings or whatever to a stranger. And attending the group one was actually better for me because looking at all the other poor sods in the lecture room made me feel comforted for some reason. Haha. I mean I'm in there from 9am to 5pm for 3 Sundays. It makes me happy to know that someone else is feeling my pain. LOL
Surprisingly, I found it quite useful and there was more than one time when the counsellor would say something that either I or TSO was guilty of and we'd exchange some nervous looks at each other. There was some self revelation that I experienced during the talks and discussion sessions. So I would say overall, it did do some good in identifying areas we should improve on. But nevertheless, the entire thing was painful.
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Well, at least I'm glad to hear that it wasn't a total waste of time. That would've doubled the pain man! Yup, biting the bullet is quite an appropriate phrase huh? LOL!
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Not sure if it's helping but I hope it is. I think that since you and J love each other so much, Marriage Counselling can only do more good than bad. Have fun! :)
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To be honest hor, I was in two minds when J dropped the bombshell. On one hand I can understand why she'd want to attend the course. Besides, strengthening the relationship (hopefully!), I guess it's also her way of preparing herself in whatever ways she can to make married life work for the both of us. Yeah, it tells me how much the Big M means to her.
On the other hand, I couldn't help wondering if there's something that might be bothering her, something she's not entirely happy about the gorilla. Heh, but maybe that's just thoughts arising from a guy's ego being mildly "bruised" lah. LOL!
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perhaps you and J wanna start with the online questionnaire one first.. I plan to do it this weekend with him provide he stay still long enough.
Reading all these prior comments from your frns I'm kinda getting a little cold feet too. i don't fancy the both of us crying all over each other amongst other pple. Hell i don't want to know why another BTB refuse to give her hb a bj.. who knows if he have some disgusting habit! eeeeee..
think I'll go for one for one counseling too.
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Yeah, we did talk about the online questionnaire too, but not sure if we'll take it lah. I think J is quite decided we'll be attending the course. *rolls eyes*
By one-on-one, you mean as a couple with PT right? I heard the couples can also take the course separately?
Babe, tell me this lah ... why women all so "eng" wanna attend this course ah? Issit coz they think us guys are hopeless at marriage and need training ... like sending dogs to dog school to be potty trained lidat? LOL! We guys that bad meh?
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hahah not so bad lah. but guys really need to be trained one leh. I rem PT din even bother to kiss me last time each time we meet up, I had to initiate it, and now he kiss me on his own accord without my hinting it LOL.
well from my pov is really nothing wrong with either me or him. its more like. ok.. marriage is something new, neither of us were married before, so whats in store for us? lets find out from people are able to give us advice. PT insist there is no need, and I ask him how can he be so absolutely sure he's 100% confident for marriage? well even without my asking I can tell he is ready for marriage by his proactiveness in our marriage preparation, his effort to save up for us, us spending more time together then before, to the extend I'm wondering if I'm less ready for marriage then him LOL well I know we are both ready.
Just that like I mention it would be nice to find out what grey areas we might have missed out considering before we take that ultimate plunge.
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