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[bwidget]

Well, I had jsut convinced myself that Jon being with Heidi=good, because it took away tempation. I had decided to be really nice to her at prom and try really hard to keep the level of poking and touching in general to an all time low. And then what does she do after all my consideration? She dumps him. Bah, now I have to rely on my own self-

Comments

[king_bling]

i agree. i think you're definetly being way too intense about this all if you think you need some other girl there to keep you two separated.

Too much explaining

[bwidget]

Bah, this is why I need a journal noone reads.

I know I don't actually need her around. But she was convenient, in case I ever get really bad. But it was mostly just irritating that I had just decided to let them go on their merry way together, and be actively nice to her saturday (i had planned on basically ignoring her before) and then she goes and changed it. Bothersome.

But this journal is my id. My unfettered, raw, basic feeling. Just word to the wise, don't take anything except for downright sadness at face value, everything gets watered down by my ego in the real world.

Re: Too much explaining

[king_bling]

it's alright. i'm sorry if i came off as harsh.

Re: Too much explaining

[bwidget]

Its ok. I just freaked out a tad because I felt like you thought I was weak, or I couldn't handle it on my own. Overreaction a tad.

But the last bit still holds as true.

I dig

[mylastcry]

I get it, I think. It's easier to justify not having someone when there's a physical, practical reason (as in he's with someone else) than it is if the person is single- even when you know what's real and what isn't. *sympathy*

Re: I dig

[bwidget]

Yep.

Wow, you made me realize, it isn't even just that now he's open and I can snatch him away, because that's not really it, there's too many reasons not to. But I think I feel like, he's single, I'm a girl, therefore he should want me. So I feel a little that I should assit the process of him reasching that conclusion.

Wow. I'm a bit of a horrible person.
Thanks for helping me realize it though.

so a guy can show their hormones, but girls can't?

[kawaiichi]

but you know what, you know what?!

I was talking about short dresses and how icky they are for prom. like the REALLY SHORT ONES. and i said "what about the long ones?" and steve and jon are all "eww long dresses...short ones are where its at" *horny boy glance and high five* (except not in those words) one response to this: *eye roll*

but then I also said "what about the long dresses that cling to the body.." Jon responds, "Those are good too."

oy.

not that boys cant be boys; but better you then me, tor.

p.s. Jon and Steve... *worries*

Re: so a guy can show their hormones, but girls can't?

[bwidget]

I think Jon and Steve will be less awkward than Jon and Heidi, at least he knows us. And won't be on the phone with his friend the entire night, like I'm sure she would do.

But I can't really imagine that Steve is going to have that great of a time.

Ha. I just remembered. When Steve couldn't get a date before, he decided that prom was totally overrated and stuipd to go to junior year. Seems he's changed his mind now that he can go, eh?

Re: so a guy can show their hormones, but girls can't?

[kawaiichi]

well, he knows us...but you're also more comfortable with him then her. I'm not. I get easily tired of his "messing around". I esspecially do not like Jon and Steve together.

and yeah, that sounds like steve....

Re: so a guy can show their hormones, but girls can't?

[bwidget]

I dunno, i think you might have been rather uncomfortable with her, she was kindof a horrible person.
I see them separately a lot more than I see them together, it could be rather volatile. I just have no idea how Steve's going to act.

[itsme3683]

hm i don't know who this iiiiis!!

[bwidget]

'tis Tori!

[itsme3683]

oh my goodness!!! how did you find me???