Title: "Palm, Meet Forehead."
Fandom: Glee
Written: December, 2010
Rating: PG-13
Words: 750
Summary: Jesse has a really bad habit of singing at Kurt in airports. Blaine just makes is worse.
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Kurt's known that Jesse is a theatrical asshole for quite some time. He just never thought that he would actually have to put up with Jesse's theatrical asshole-ness in front of about a hundred other people.
Even Jesse's parents know he's kind of an asshole. They get that their son is going to be all big and famous and they totally respect that, but they don't like how Jesse sometimes acts like he's better than them just because he's going to school in California while they've never lived outside of Ohio. He kind of sucks at keeping in touch, too, so sometimes he forgets to tell them he's coming home until he's on the plane and he's about an hour away from getting stranded at an airport.
When they don't answer their phones, he calls Blaine.
(Because Kurt knows what's going on if he calls that close to a holiday.)
And Blaine will pull the "be a nice friend" card to get Kurt to go pick up Jesse from the airport. He also pulls the "plus we can totally call in a favor once he's big and famous and knows people" card. Blaine can be a conniving bastard sometimes, but that's a secret so don't tell.
So Kurt will drive down to the airport to pick Jesse up, and that's when Jesse decides to show off his theatrical asshole-ness, because he'll decide right then and there that re-enacting the "airport reunion" scene from every chick flick ever is totally a good idea.
"Kurt!" he'll yell, his face contorting into a look of shock. "You came!" And he'll clasp his hands over his heart, already running towards him, catching him in a hug and exclaiming how much he missed him. And then Jesse will sing fucking a song at him, and everyone in the vicinity will stare or avert their eyes and one time they even got cat-called.
Kurt and Jesse are not friends when this happens. He'll glare at Jesse while Jesse smiles sweetly at him, then storm off. Jesse chases after him, grabbing his hand and saying, "I still have to get my luggage, don't leave me, please?"
Kurt should be expecting it, after three times, but he's still being an optimist and hoping that Jesse will forgo the theatrics. It doesn't help that Blaine just laughs at him when he calls to complain, deciding that Kurt is either exaggerating or making up a story or maybe he's just bitter about something.
He makes Blaine come with him this time.
A part of him hopes that maybe Jesse won't react the same way if Blaine's there. That's the same part of him that's currently hunched down behind Blaine, hiding from Jesse's line of sight as he walks into the building, looking around for a familiar face.
"Blaine!" Jesse exclaims, his arms flailing. He starts running at them. "Blaine, you came!"
And then Blaine suddenly isn't standing in front of Kurt anymore, he's running for Jesse, arms outstretched in an invitation for a hug. The two boys collide together, squeezing each other tightly, and Jesse picks Blaine up and spins him around. Kurt's face goes from white to red to purple to green, because he didn't miss the kiss Jesse pressed to Blaine's cheek.
It takes all of Kurt's self-restraint to not introduce his palm to his forehead when Jesse starts singing, "I used to think we lived at the top of the world. When the world was just a subway map."
He watches in a mix of embarrassment and horror and envy as Jesse and Blaine dance around each other, singing the entirety of "
When You're Home." He cringes as he watches his boyfriend rap, watches his boyfriend take the lead, watches Jesse follow his boyfriend around with moon-eyes, milking it for what it's worth.
When they finish, people actually applaud for them. They've gathered quite a crowd, and people are clapping and cheering and Kurt notices more than a few people putting away cameras and cell phones. Jesse and Blaine are still holding hands as they walk back over to him, expressions clearly saying, "Yes, you are going to have to acknowledge that you know us now."
"You two are such attention-seeking assholes," he hisses at them, but he's not complaining when they let go of each other's hands to link arms with him. And when Jesse starts skipping off to the baggage claim and he and Blaine launch into "
The Pirates who Don't Do Anything" - really? - he just rolls his eyes and sings along.