old naruto fic
When Sakura is seven, a girl tells her to never be ashamed of herself. And when Ino pulls her hair back with that scarlet ribbon, she makes a promise to never hide herself from the world again.
When Sakura is twelve, her father gives her a present at her graduation. It is an elaborate kimono, blue with pink cherry blossoms cascading down the silk, and she falls in love with it right there. When she gets home, her mother ties the obi for her and tells her that she's never been prouder.
When Sakura is seven, she watches a young boy through enamored green eyes. He's quiet and stern, with perfect pale features, and she knows that the other girls like to watch him too. And Sakura tells herself that one day, she'll be the one who Sasuke loves.
When Sakura is twelve, though pushing thirteen, both of her boys leave her. Sasuke leaves to fulfill a vow to himself, and Naruto leaves to fulfill a vow to Sakura. While they're gone she has her first solo mission, and the realization that there is no longer a Team 7 turns her stomach.
When Sakura is seven, she has big dreams. She dreams of an embrace in Sasuke's arms, a Naruto who's quiet and doesn't interrupt class, and a Sakura who's strong and sure of herself.
When Sakura is twelve, she gets these things. But Sasuke's affectionate goodbye isn't how she'd imagined it, and Naruto's silence leaves her wanting, and when Sakura runs her fingers through short, pink locks she thinks that maybe she's not all that sure of herself after all.
-
When you wake up on Kakashi-sensei's back, groggy and aching and bone-tired, the first words out of your mouth are, What about Sasuke, but Kakashi-sensei doesn't answer. He never answers.
The perverted hermit comes and visits you while you're in the hospital. He spouts lies about forgetting your comrades and keeping your eyes on the future, rather than the past. He calls you a fool, and you tell him you'd rather be a fool than abandon Sasuke, though not in so many words. But the unsaid declaration hangs heavy in the air, and when the hermit leaves, you can tell by the way his face hangs that he heard it.
You spend the next few days in that hospital bed. It's less because you feel you need the rest and more because you don't want to face the world. Kakashi-sensei comes and sits with you at lunchtimes, bringing you ramen from Ichiraku. You thank him with your forced smile, but you have a feeling he can see right through it.
When you finally leave the hospital, you find yourself spending most of your remaining days with Kakashi-sensei. You're not quite sure why- it's not like you and him were all that close before, but now it seems as though he's the only one you can stand to be with. Everyone else gives you compassion-filled glances and stares that scream sorry, we're sorry, but it just makes the ghost wound in your left shoulder hurt harder, and you have to turn away.
Kakashi-sensei doesn't look at you with pity. He looks at you with guilt.
You still can't figure out whether that's worse or not.
One day, Kakashi-sensei asks if you'd like to train together. You give him an enthusiastic yes, glad for the attention that was so long in coming, but when the two of you reach the training grounds, he only pulls out some shuriken and kunai and says that you're going to work on accuracy. You're not sure what it is exactly- maybe it's the false hope you'd built up that you'd learn Chidori and the final rejection is just too strong; maybe it's the realization that you might just be a replacement for Sasuke, though one that can never amount; maybe it's just the look in Kakashi-sensei's eyes that tells you he deserves it. But whatever the reason, the thin cord that's been holding you together for the past few days just snaps, and in the next instant you're beating your fists half-heartedly against Kakashi-sensei's chest screaming, Why, why.
He lets you.
After a long moment, you stop, burying your face in his chuunin vest and letting your tears and nose run down the fabric. He brings one hand up to rest on your back and the other cradles the back of your head softly until your eyes run dry.
Kakashi-sensei takes you to his house that night and lets you sleep in his bed while he smoothes back your hair. You mumble that you could share the futon with him, but he responds with some lecture on father figures and teacher-student dynamics that loses your attention.
When you peel his mask down and kiss him, he doesn't stop you, but he doesn't encourage you either. His lips are smooth and dry and so much like- but of course you don't want to think about that. When you pull away, he tugs the mask back up and doesn't say, Don't be like me. Don't, don't. He doesn't say it, but you hear it anyway.
When you wake up in Kakashi-sensei's bed, groggy and aching and bone-tired, the first thoughts in your head are, What about Sasuke, and you think that Kakashi-sensei must've heard because he looks at you with that one eye that sees only the past, and you see the glint of black hair and red eyes in the depths of that dark pupil.
-
Naruto is hot days in the park, rough-and-tumble on green, green grass, and chases through the treetops. Naruto is the boy who picks her up (shrieking and squealing) and throws her into the stream. Uzumaki Naruto is her sun.
Sasuke is quiet nights inside, dog-eared books read in low light, and walks through the garden. Sasuke is the boy who dances with her (slow and soft) in dead silence. Uchiha Sasuke is her moon.
Sakura is fresh spring mornings, gusts of wind that brush the hair back from their faces, and jogs around the lake. Sakura is the girl who patches up their wounds (fucking and fighting) with an exasperated smile. Haruno Sakura is their sky.
And when Naruto laughs, it's loud and hot. And when Sasuke smiles, it's quiet and cool.
And when Sakura whispers, it's like an ocean breeze.