This chapter is awesome, like all of the others before it, really. Their relationship is painfully adorable. Ahaha, I love that they were so distracted they didn't even notice that they were lying on ice for a long fucking time, and that shit is cold.
Personally, I'm terrified of ice skating. It's illogical, seeing as any time I've ever gone, I've been fine, but it still scares the shit out of me. I can sympathise with Gerard.
As I was reading it, I picked up on a few tiny mistakes you might wanna edit, though, if you want.
Frank slipped his other hand slipped his other hand around Gerard to place it on the Dolls hip.
You've just got 'slipped his other hand' twice. =P
“Relax.” Frank murmured.
A comma, instead of the full stop after 'Relax'. Correct punctuation in dialogue, and all.
Comments 77
I love this so much.
They're so cute and I'm wondering where Gerard's demands will lead them ;]
xx
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This chapter is awesome, like all of the others before it, really. Their relationship is painfully adorable. Ahaha, I love that they were so distracted they didn't even notice that they were lying on ice for a long fucking time, and that shit is cold.
Personally, I'm terrified of ice skating. It's illogical, seeing as any time I've ever gone, I've been fine, but it still scares the shit out of me. I can sympathise with Gerard.
As I was reading it, I picked up on a few tiny mistakes you might wanna edit, though, if you want.
Frank slipped his other hand slipped his other hand around Gerard to place it on the Dolls hip.
You've just got 'slipped his other hand' twice. =P
“Relax.” Frank murmured.
A comma, instead of the full stop after 'Relax'. Correct punctuation in dialogue, and all.
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Gerard’s skin warmer then it had ever been before and Frank’s heart slowly melting.
It's an incomplete sentence, really. 'Gerard's skin was warmer' would be better. And it should be than, not then.
Sorry, I'm picky. Otherwise, the chapter was great.
:]
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i know, poor darlings ;D
N'aww!
i've been a couple of times, i enjoyed it.. my feet always hurted..*pouts*
*Hugs Gee*
Poor baby =)
*Nods and bounces around*
Thank you!
that helps so much!
Be my second beta, please?!
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thanks for updating!
hope there's more fluff next chapter!XD
xoxo
sorry for the crappy comment
:(
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*bows* you're welcome, i thought you guys would like a present =)
*grins*
maybe.. maybe..
wait.. isn't there ALWAYS fluff? ;P
*huggles*
don't be silly.
it was a good comment.
*kisses*
xXx
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that comment makes me REALLY happy =)
xXx
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i think my heart is melting too
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i'm so happy you like it!
xXx
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this is SO amazing. i can't wait for eleven!
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you're adorable!
on thursday =)
xXx
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