(no subject)
i love chicago. i am so happy right now
but i'm so fucking nervous about going back home. there are a lot of reasons for this. i (rather successfully) spent two hours fighting off a panic attack today while i was also on the phone with my mom for a majority of this time, then i got a little pretty drunk kinda and went to see maps and atlases with my friends and had a great fucking time. and then you came over and i felt better about things. and then things got better still. im trying to focus on the positive -- like the fact that we got our couches today and how good it was to talk to my mom for that long about all that shit. its just like you said babe. you have to confront these things and it may seem like its making your life fall apart but really its building it up, stronger
and we'll be better for it.
through dealing with today i realized that i have to face that things are shaky right now and i must stand firmly in the face of them regardless. i am not one to be broken.
things will be fine because i will make them be fine.
and it's all about right now, because right now
i am happy.
but i'm so fucking nervous about going back home. there are a lot of reasons for this. i (rather successfully) spent two hours fighting off a panic attack today while i was also on the phone with my mom for a majority of this time, then i got a little pretty drunk kinda and went to see maps and atlases with my friends and had a great fucking time. and then you came over and i felt better about things. and then things got better still. im trying to focus on the positive -- like the fact that we got our couches today and how good it was to talk to my mom for that long about all that shit. its just like you said babe. you have to confront these things and it may seem like its making your life fall apart but really its building it up, stronger
and we'll be better for it.
through dealing with today i realized that i have to face that things are shaky right now and i must stand firmly in the face of them regardless. i am not one to be broken.
things will be fine because i will make them be fine.
and it's all about right now, because right now
i am happy.