I can relate to what you're going through, or atleast at one point I could've, but I can tell you now, that going to a different church isn't going to change anything. To be closer to god you have to do the change within yourself. You have to open up to god and you have to pray for him to be there always, it's going to take some time, it's not an over night thing. And in your writing you even admit to not having enough courgae to leave your problems in his hands, and you have to, you have to have the faith in him and beliefe in him, because if you dont, all he can do is wait outside that door leading into your heart, you have to be the one to open and say "Here I am Lord" And if you want to try a different church go right ahead, maybe it will help you, but church, has nothing to do with getting closer to god, I mean it probably helps a little, but It's within yourself, your soul, your heart, your faith. It's you god wants, not the concrete building.
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... thanks for the advice, it really does help.
i think i feel that way because i'm not involved in anything. you know?
i regret not joining respeto, i really do.
... i feel better now though, i had a talk with my mom.
... so yeah, .. i love you anna!
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Wow i wrote this such a long time ago..
I'm better now by the way...
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