Let Alone Question, For It Leaves No Response...

[c_rza]

I don't understand it sometimes...Why occasionally one will go into small, teeny, tiny spells of nostalgia. But it happens. And one can only strive to look for some other means or alternative to direct their attention to, in hope of being able to get past it. I can only hope to make it past certain things. Lonliness is one of them. It's not

Comments

[avid_dreamer]

I was quite heart-broken today (yet-again), but was holding strong. Peeped through your journal and this post touched me so strongly, that it broke a tear through. You are so right and you have so beautifully expressed that emotion of lack. But I wonder Chris, if through this remorse, we are mssing out on all the good stuff (if at all, that which we are inattentive to) happening currently in our lives.

The question remains: Do we find joy or create it?( for we need it no matter what - for sheer survival and much more...)

[c_rza]

I'm sorry to hear that you were heart-broken. But I'm very much glad to hear that you're holding strong. And to hear that you shed a tear for what I wrote leaves me to believe that you connected to what I was writing and that makes me feel like I got what I was trying to say across. And we do oversee the little things in life that, probably any other day, would bring us joy and happiness. Unfortunately, our lives are ruled by our biggest emotions, and honestly, I believe love, sadness, and happiness are the biggies. But love is kinda the first in my book. I guess when they are allowed to be tapped, we succumb to what has done the tapping. So as I clearly yearn for some sort of love, that taps into happiness, and (well the way I've been going so far) sadness. That's why I think love is the biggest emotion we have. It's a yearning for companionship and a dire urge for completion. I think, we (most people), all need to feel we're complete by having a special someone in our lives

.......

[anonymous]

Rza, I've been reading your journal for a while now and I know where you're coming from with all these emotions. I've been there, believe me. What I want to ask you is this: What made you decide to join the Corps? What's your MOS? These questions may seem irrelevant but I want you to realize that trying to have a fulfilling relationship while you're a Marine is really tough. All the time you'll spend apart from someone is the biggest strain on the relationship. If you happen to find someone near the base where you'll be stationed, chances are they would have already been with a bunch of Marines before you get with her. I'm saying this because out of all of us joining the Corps (Eddie, Omar, You), I've been around the longest, I've been in the fleet the longest. You're still high on motivation but believe me, the Marine Corps has many ways of screwing you over right when you have everything going for you. Depending on your MOS, you could be deploying a week after getting to your duty station

Re: .......

[c_rza]

Hey

[anonymous]

Chris, you have so much going for you. You shouldn't waste your time looking for some girl. Let her come to you. Just sit back and wait for love to find you. You should just focus on numero uno for now. I honestly think that the last thing you need right now is a girlfriend. I'm sure you'll find someone that'll appreciate you and treat you the way you should be treated when the time is right, there's no need to rush it.

[c_rza]

I'd like to think as positively as you do...I really would. But I don't see so much going for me. It's more like I look at what I need to do if I want to go on with my life. But the whole "girlfriend" thing, I guess, would just be one of the final pieces to assure me that life is where it should be. To be honest, I feel like a 40 year old man. I feel like I know what it takes to survive out in the real world, cuz I was practically thrown in there. But all in all, sometimes I feel like there really isn't too much selection, option, better yet-hope for me. I just feel like there's not too much else in life that I should expect other than having someone important to share my hopes, dreams, and everyday concerns with...I just feel like there isn't too much else from here on in...