(no subject)
When inferiority complex happens, it must happen.
I took a step far from the crowd, but I still am a part of the crowd within the framework of subjective cognition. I know there is something off about me, always about me lacking some certain trait to pass as a fitting piece in the whole picture.
Maybe to get acquainted with affections is what people can learn, and I meant to have a bad score report on this subject. At some point, my issue aligns with self-blaming. I can shove some excuses onto my upbringing and conditioning nurture, attesting that compulsive fear I have over the course of time prevents me from wanting anything without fearing to lose it afterwards. Fact is still that, I am not the most affectionate person born to this world. It allows me to feel alienated at most random period and wish to return to my world at once, where I can comfort myself with my own fear.
Though, affections are just the tip of the iceberg. I have been busy deluding myself for so long that I'd walk straight into black hole if I dare think of treading the outside. Out of many available coping mechanisms, my choice was the worst. Apparently so, for the likes of me.
Then even I would get bored of talking about pain and myself too. One kind of wound that aches when winter comes, making a person wonder if being buried in snow may be the best remedy. I am still here, as the solid proof that it never ends.
Have a song instead. Read its lyric too, maybe.
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