Timeless [Chapter 1/?]
Title: Timeless [Chapter 1/?]
Author: cablackwood
Pair: Kyuhae
Rating: PG (will go up in certain chapters)
Genre: Angst, Romance
Summary: Kyuhyun’s and Donghae’s love for each other is strong. Neither would want to cause the other pain, they would give up their lives to make the other happy and to make sure that they would not feel one ounce of sadness. But is it strong enough to last lifetimes? Only after Kyuhyun visits the doctor and finds out that he only has a few years left to live will they find out.
Words: 3,227
Kyuhyun and Donghae sat in the doctor’s office, waiting for the doctor to come in and give them the news. It had been one of Kyuhyun’s regular checkups. It had been routine. They took his pulse, checked his blood pressure, and drew some blood, all that jazz. Kyuhyun hadn’t felt sick or anything and so they let him go, and said that if they found anything, then they would contact him and have him come in.
It had been three days later when he got the call. The doctor had told him that they found something in his blood tests and that he needed to come in so they could discuss it. Kyuhyun thought nothing of it. He thought that maybe he was sick and that they would need for him to come in so they could give him the medicine. But Donghae thought the worst. He believed that they had found a different sickness in his blood. His reason being that if he was just simply sick, then there would have been no reason for them to call him in, they would have just told him over the phone and said for him to get some rest and drink plenty of fluids. But they called him in instead, so he was imagining the worst.
That’s why it was Kyuhyun who was seated in front of the doctor’s desk in his office and Donghae was up pacing around the room. He walked from the bookshelves that lined the wall behind the doctor’s desk to the door, to the window and all in between. He was nervous and he couldn’t calm his nerves enough to sit down. He had no idea what they could have found on Kyuhyun’s blood tests and he was worried that he was going to lose Kyuhyun. He hadn’t voiced these thoughts to Kyuhyun, for fear that he would worry him, so he kept them to his self and it was eating him up inside.
Kyuhyun wasn’t blind. He knew when something was bothering Donghae. For one, Kyuhyun was good at reading people and he could always see right through them. Second, Donghae was a pretty simple person. One of the simplest people he has ever met. He could read Donghae like an open book even when Donghae tried to hide what he was thinking and feeling with all his might. But Kyuhyun would always see his thoughts and feelings as if they were written across his face. And for the past day and a half, Kyuhyun could see Donghae’s worries fly across his face. Donghae was worried for him and he didn’t want to bother anyone with his thoughts, so he kept them to himself. He even hid them from Eunhyuk, who was his best friend who he told everything to. If Donghae didn’t tell Kyuhyun what he was thinking, which was rare, he would always tell Eunhyuk. But he had kept everything to himself.
Donghae had made his fifth round about the room when Kyuhyun reached out and grabbed Donghae’s hand, bringing him to a halt.
“Donghae please, you’re making me dizzy.”
Donghae stayed where he was, because Kyuhyun had a good grip on his hand, keeping him rooted there, but he tapped his foot on the floor, trying to get some type of movement. He could not calm his nerves.
“I’m sorry, I’m just a little nervous.” He tried to pull away from Kyuhyun, he couldn’t stand still and the foot taping wasn’t doing anything for him. Kyuhyun let go of his hand and he went immediately back to his pacing.
Kyuhyun sighed, “I don’t know why you’re the one that’s nervous. I’m the one that they tested and I’m the one that is being called back into the office to find out the results. I’m the one that should be worried and pacing around the room.” He followed Donghae with his eyes, to indicate his point.
Donghae paused in front of one of the bookshelves behind the desk. He didn’t face Kyuhyun, but instead he let his eyes room over all the books that were there. Every single one of them were medical books. They were all either books on the human body or books on illnesses. They were all categorized by what type of illnesses they were of; skin, brain, genetics, inflicted, nerves, heart. Donghae stepped back from the shelf and ran his eyes over the shelves as a whole. He had never thought that doctors would have this many books. He thought that only lawyers had this many books in their offices.
“Yes, but you’re not the one who’s boyfriend was called into the office so he could get the test results from his blood test that might be telling him there is something wrong with him. That he might be sick and maybe even die, leaving him all alone and mourn over his death.” Donghae finally voiced his worries and he felt his heart get heavier and heavier the more he spoke. He didn’t want what he said to be true, but he couldn’t help the dark feeling that he had in his heart the moment he found out that Kyuhyun needed to go back into the office to get the results of his checkup.
There was silence in the room and all Donghae could hear was his breathing and Kyuhyun’s. He never realized how much he loved that sound; Kyuhyun’s and his breathing. It was so in sync that his heart warmed slightly at the thought of knowing they were so connected. He was sure that if he went over and felt Kyuhyun’s heart he would feel that their hearts were beating in sync as well.
Donghae’s eyes stayed on the one book that was directly in front of him. It was a book on brain diseases, when he felt Kyuhyun wrap his arms around his waist. Donghae hadn’t realized he was crying until he felt Kyuhyun’s body warm up his cold body and he could feel the tear that ran down the cheek. Yeah, it was Kyuhyun that had to worry about getting the news (if something was even wrong with him) but he was the one that was going to have to see what Kyuhyun would go through. And it was much easier to be the one that was sick or the one that was dying than it was to be the one watching.
Kyuhyun rested his chin on Donghae’s shoulder. He kept it there for a moment before he turned his head and kissed Donghae’s neck, right at the pulse point. He could feel Donghae’s pulse leap beneath his lips and he wasn’t sure if it was from the contact or if it was from him crying, which Donghae was trying to hide. He was hoping it was from his touch, he didn’t like when Donghae cried. It would make his heart break; especially knowing that he was the cause of it. Kyuhyun knew he should have just left Donghae at home and gone back on his own. But he knew Donghae would have wanted to come along and he wasn’t going to deny him that. He knew Donghae wanted to be there with him and he would gladly spend any moment he could with him.
“Everything will be okay. We don’t even know if there is anything wrong with me any way.”
“But there could be.” Donghae’s voice trembled.
“There can always be something wrong, but we can’t stop it can we?”
Donghae wiped away the tears that had betrayed him and fallen and turned around in Kyuhyun’s arms. He looked Kyuhyun in the eyes, remembering how those deep dark eyes had captured his heart. “But we could try.”
Kyuhyun kissed Donghae’s forehead, who let his eyes close and bathe in the warmth that his lips brought him. When Kyuhyun leaned back he was smiling, waiting for Donghae to do the same, which he did after a moment. Donghae could never resist his smile, and that was one of the many reasons he had fallen in love with him.
“Let’s see what the doctor has to say and if it’s something, which it might not be, then we’ll see about trying to stop it.” Donghae nodded his head and Kyuhyun kissed him on the lips.
At that moment, the office door opened and the doctor in his white coat came into the room. He spotted Kyuhyun and Donghae by one of his bookshelves in each other’s arms. He felt bad, he knew he was interrupting something, but he walked to his desk and motioned for Kyuhyun and Donghae to have a seat in the chairs across from his desk.
Kyuhyun grabbed Donghae’s hand and dragged him to one of the chairs. He made him sit, thought he didn’t want to, before he sat in the chair he had been occupying for the past ten minutes.
The doctor organized himself and placed Kyuhyun’s file in front of him before he risked another look at the couple in front of him. He saw that Donghae had reached over and grabbed Kyuhyun’s hand. He could tell he was the worried one of the two. Kyuhyun was just looking at the doctor with a small bored look on his face. He could tell that Kyuhyun didn’t think there was anything wrong with him and he was a little pissed that the doctor was making Donghae worry. But he could also tell all that was between the two of them. And he knew he was about to disturb what was there.
He had done this before many, many times and it never got easier. He would always looks across his desk and see a couple or a family before his eyes and know that he was about to crush their hearts. But this was not going to change anytime soon, unless he got another profession, so he just sighed and took off his glasses and set them to the side.
The doctor opened Kyuhyun’s file to his current blood test results and looked up at Kyuhyun, who was waiting for what he had to say.
“I called you in hear because when we tested your blood we found something,” he paused and looked over to Donghae who looked like he was on the brink of tears, “There is no easy way to say this, but mister Cho you have Huntington’s Chorea.”
There was complete silence in the room. The traffic outside could be heard in the room and even the laughter of kids could be heard from the park that was just down the street from the doctor’s office.
Kyuhyun was the first one to speak, “What’s that?”
The doctor leaned forward and placed his hands flat on his desk, “Huntington's disease is a progressive, degenerative disease that causes certain nerve cells in your brain to waste away. As a result, you will experience uncontrolled movements, emotional disturbances and mental deterioration. Once this progresses, you won’t be able to do many of the things you are able to do now. Something as simple as pulling on a jacket will be difficult.
“It is usually developed in middle age, but there are cases where it appears in younger adults, sometimes even in children. And if that is the case, which it is in yours, the symptoms develop much quicker than they would if you were middle aged. There are medications that help slow the progression of the disease, but there is no known cure for it.”
The words washed over Kyuhyun. He didn’t know how to feel about it. Scared? Terrified? Upset that he had brought Donghae along to hear this? Angry that he had this? He was all of the above but he didn’t know which one he should feel first. At the moment, he felt numb. This disease was going to cause him to lose the life he had now. The doctor kept talking but Kyuhyun wasn’t listening. His eyes were on the doctor’s mouth but he wasn’t hearing what was coming out.
Kyuhyun felt the hand he had in his grip shaking. He looked over to Donghae and he saw that he was trembling. He was trying to fight off the tears that were threatening to fall from his eyes. Donghae was right and he knew it. Something bad had appeared on Kyuhyun’s blood test and there was nothing that could be done about it. There was no known cure for this disease he had. So that promise Kyuhyun had made Donghae not moments before had been broken before he even got the chance to break it himself.
He looked back at the doctor and saw that he was done talking. He knew this question had to be asked and he was tempted to take Donghae out into the hall so he wouldn’t hear, but he knew Donghae would fight him to stay in that room.
Kyuhyun looked down at his and Donghae’s interlocked hands and asked without looking up, “How long?”
“Three years is when you’ll lose the ability to move on your own,” the doctor paused, this was always the hard part, telling how long they had left to live, “And about a year after that, is when the disease will,” as many times as he had said this, he still stumbled over himself, he sighed. “You’ll die.” There was no beating around the bush.
At that, Donghae let go of Kyuhyun’s hand and ran out the door. Kyuhyun watched as he ran from the room. He looked back to the doctor, a silent question in his eyes.
The doctor nodded his head, “I will call and we can continue this later.” Kyuhyun jumped from his seat and ran after Donghae.
Donghae ran from the building and down the street. He had no idea where he was going, but all he knew was that he had to get away from that place. The place where he had just found out that he had less than five years left with his boyfriend, the boyfriend that he had been with for almost five years now, and been in love with for much longer.
He wanted to spend the rest of his life with him. He wanted that picture of a family to hang up on the wall. He wanted to see Kyuhyun’s face for the rest of his life, wake up to it every morning. He wanted to fight with him, love him, have a family with him and later grow old and die together, both knowing that they had spent their lives well just because they were together, just because they loved each other. But now that Kyuhyun was sick, he wasn’t going to get any of that. He was going to have to be with him knowing that their days together were numbered. That Kyuhyun’s days were numbered.
Donghae saw the park come into view and he ran for it. He ran to the little woods that was next to it. He ran into it and headed for a tree that he could lean on, could let all his weight rest on its sturdy base and fall to the ground. Let what happened crush him and pull him to the ground. And that’s what he did. He found a tree a good fifteen feet in and collapsed into it. He let the tears that he had tried to hide back in that office fall from his eyes and let the cries that were bubbling in his throat fall from his lips. Wave after wave of sadness wracked his body until he felt as if he was drowning and that he would never resurface.
He was crying so much, letting the pain crush his heart that he didn’t notice that Kyuhyun had found him and was hugging him tight in his arms. He felt Kyuhyun rub soothing, or what would have been soothing, circles up and down his back. He heard Kyuhyun whisper words into his ear but he heard none of them. All he heard was his deep rich voice wash over him like it has done for years now and that all in itself calmed him enough to where he could get a breath in his aching lungs.
As Donghae sat there in Kyuhyun’s embrace, Kyuhyun rubbing his back telling him everything would be alright even though it wasn’t going to be, kissing the top of his head, and he felt bad. It was Kyuhyun who had gotten this death sentence and yet Donghae was the one that was crying like it was he who had gotten the bad news. From what Donghae could hear over his own cries, Kyuhyun wasn’t shedding a tear. Even after he had found out he wasn’t going to be able to move on his own and eventually die, he wasn’t crying. Kyuhyun never cried but Donghae thought that knowing he was going to die would cause him to break down like Donghae was doing and cry his heart out.
But that was the kind of person Kyuhyun was. He never let any sign of weakness, vulnerability show. Kyuhyun was Donghae’s rock and he loved that on many occasions, but he would have thought that keeping a firm hold on his emotions when he knew he was going to die would not have been important.
Kyuhyun and Donghae sat there, leaning up against the tree for close to half an hour when Donghae was able to stop his tears and look up at Kyuhyun.
Kyuhyun looked down on his boyfriend and smiled. Even though the news he got had shaken him, he wasn’t going to show it. He was going to be strong, knowing that Donghae would need it. If he let his guard down and cried just like Donghae had just got done doing, then that would show that he was giving into this disease that he had and it would worry Donghae even more. Kyuhyun loved Donghae more than he could ever imagine, and seeing him cry always made him want to cry as well and try to give him whatever he wanted to help stop the tears that fell from his eyes.
Without saying anything, Kyuhyun pulled Donghae to his feet, keeping their bodies pressed together, not wanting any type of distance in between their bodies, they walked back to the car and drove back home. Back to their home they had shared for years.
That whole night after Kyuhyun had gotten the news, they had spent in bed. Kyuhyun called in sick from work and Donghae did the same, letting Eunhyuk and Shindong teach the dance class that day. They didn’t want to be separated at all that entire day. Once Donghae had fallen asleep, Kyuhyun had gotten up to use the bathroom. And as if sensing the loss of warmth and Kyuhyun, Donghae had woken up and seen that the other side of the bed was empty and he panicked. He jumped from the bed and began to search the house high and low for him, tears falling from his eyes the entire time. When he came back to the bedroom, he saw Kyuhyun step out of the bathroom and immediately he ran to hug him, crying into his shirt that he had ruined hours ago.
After that, Kyuhyun didn’t dare leave Donghae’s side even if it was to use the bathroom.
A/N: This is a new chapter fic I have been working on for the past few weeks. I was inspired by one of my favorite TV shows (not saying which, because it could give away one or two parts of this).
I am not educated with Huntington’s Chorea. All the information I got is from online and ‘House’ ^^
If you know or knew someone that has/had it, I am sorry. I do not wish for it to sound like I know what I am talking about and do not wish to insult anyone with this.