Deadpool & Cable Ultimate Collection ( & related ficlet)
Surprised that no-one seems to have posted this one here yet. Seems Marvel's re-releasing the whole Cable & Deadpool series under the 'Ultimate Collection' (not to be confused with the Ultimate Universe, the Ultimates or whatever else the word 'ultimate' has been used for lately). Volume 1 was out on the 24th of February.
Marvel catalogue link
So, what's the difference between this and the old trade paperbacks? Well, these are coming out with 18 issues to the volume rather than 6, no more eye-bleeding Liefeld art on the first cover, and apparently they'll include extras like full reprints of all the letters pages. One would hope that means they're also going to be including the recap pages for every chapter (several of which were inexplicably missing in the old TPBs, including all of Bob's [insert sounds of fannish rage here]). Unfortunately, sources tell me that a few details like the infamous 'Not that there's anything wrong with that' at the bottom of the last page of chapter two are still missing, along with everything else that used to be in the 'To be continued' space.
The real oddity is that suddenly they've switched the names around from Cable & Deadpool to Deadpool & Cable. I can only assume that this (and probably the whole 'Ulimtate Collection' reprint) is Marvel's latest attempt to cash in on Deadpool's recent popularity. Seems a bit random and pointless as changes go - I think I prefer the sound of the title the other way around, personally. But you've got to admit Deadpool would find it hilarious, and if it gets us shiny new versions of the TPBs at lower prices, I'm sure not going to complain.
But I still couldn't resist writing some fic in honour of it.
Deadpool & Cable
Cable was deeply involved in page seventy-five of the latest immigration report when something landed heavily on his desk.
“Ha!” declared the something, in a particularly triumphant voice, and threw what looked like a thin paperback onto the desk in front of him. Cable looked up from his report into the face of the smuggest looking Deadpool he'd ever seen perched above him. “Bet you weren't expecting this, huh Nate?”
Cable gave the paperback a casual inspection. There was a picture of him and Wade on the cover - a reasonably flattering one compared to some of the previous examples Wade had brought to his attention like this - but it was, as far as he could tell, just a comic. Askani knew where Wade had pulled this one from.
“And this is?” he prompted.
“Hot off the press with recap pages, my letters column - the whole shebang! We just made the Ultimate Collection, baby! You and me!” Wade punctuated this by punching the air. “But that's not the best bit - you notice anything about that shiny, new cover, Nate?” The last bit was declared while leaning suggestively down over the desk.
Clearly this was going to be one of those times when nothing Wade said made any sense to anyone not inflicted with his own personal brand of insanity. Usually, Cable found the best thing to do in this situations was to humour him until he got it out of his system.
He gave the cover another cursory glance. “It has our names on it?” he hazarded.
“Uh-huh, I do believe he's on to something, and you know what else? You notice who's first on that cover? 'Cause I think you'll find it doesn't start with a 'C'. Why don't you read it aloud for the rest of the audience up the back there?”
“...Deadpool and Cable?”
“Deadpool and Cable!” cheered Wade. “I present to you Marvel's brand new golden boy! Sorry, Nate m'boy, the powers that be have finally realised who was really driving our modest-but-remarkably-consistent sales figures all along! No more piddly little alphabetical excuses keeping you ahead, no more 'and Deadpool' on our covers, you have been officially demoted all the way... to second billing. And you know what that means?” The last part was delivered while leaning even further into Cable's face.
“I'm sure you'll tell me.”
“It means I get to be on top now!” crowed Wade.
“Pardon?”
“Come now, Nate, you wouldn't ignore a completely arbitrary little rule from some far corner of fandom who mostly don't even speak English!”
It took Cable a minute to catch up. “As in, during sex? You were, just last...”
“I mean usually! By default! More than once on a week on alternate Thursdays in the name of 'spice and variety'. Possibly even more than fifty percent of the time. You writing this down?”
“I thought you liked bottoming. You tend to be quite vocal about it.”
“It's the principle of the thing! There is the top, and the bottom! The seem and the ook... or something like that... I had notes here...”
Cable could feel the start of a headache coming on. “Are we going to have to have another conversation about the problems with assuming rigid power dynamics in sexual roles?”
“Don't you be all 31st century with me!” said Wade, stabbing him in the chest with a finger, “You wouldn't want to disappoint all seventeen of our Japanese fans, would you?”
There was only one way of getting out of this debate quickly with any kind of grace. “...of course not.”
“That's my Nate! Sooo, what do you suppose we're going to be doing about five minutes from now?”
Cable raised an eyebrow and held the papers in his hand up a little higher. “I don't know about you, but I'm going to be finishing this report.”
This did not seem to be the response Wade had been prepared for. He sat back on his heels. “Aww, do you have to?”
“Wade, I have a lot of work to do today.” A few hours ensconced in the world of detailed immigration figures had never seemed more appealing.
“You couldn't take a break somewhere?”
“Not if I want to be done by this evening.”
“...but we're still on for this evening, aren't we?”
“Aren't we always?” said Cable mildly.
“You drive a hard bargain, Nate, but just for you I can keep the shear manliness of my FIRST BILLING-self under wraps until this evening.”
“Wonderful. I'll see you then,” said Cable, and lifted the report pointedly up to eye level. After a few seconds, he heard the door shut with a click. He relaxed slightly and turned his attention to finding his place...
“I'll be bending him over the table when he comes, yeehaw!” came floating down the corridor.
…and now he'd be doing it with the tune of 'Coming 'round the mountain' stuck in his head. Lovely.
Marvel catalogue link
So, what's the difference between this and the old trade paperbacks? Well, these are coming out with 18 issues to the volume rather than 6, no more eye-bleeding Liefeld art on the first cover, and apparently they'll include extras like full reprints of all the letters pages. One would hope that means they're also going to be including the recap pages for every chapter (several of which were inexplicably missing in the old TPBs, including all of Bob's [insert sounds of fannish rage here]). Unfortunately, sources tell me that a few details like the infamous 'Not that there's anything wrong with that' at the bottom of the last page of chapter two are still missing, along with everything else that used to be in the 'To be continued' space.
The real oddity is that suddenly they've switched the names around from Cable & Deadpool to Deadpool & Cable. I can only assume that this (and probably the whole 'Ulimtate Collection' reprint) is Marvel's latest attempt to cash in on Deadpool's recent popularity. Seems a bit random and pointless as changes go - I think I prefer the sound of the title the other way around, personally. But you've got to admit Deadpool would find it hilarious, and if it gets us shiny new versions of the TPBs at lower prices, I'm sure not going to complain.
But I still couldn't resist writing some fic in honour of it.
Deadpool & Cable
Cable was deeply involved in page seventy-five of the latest immigration report when something landed heavily on his desk.
“Ha!” declared the something, in a particularly triumphant voice, and threw what looked like a thin paperback onto the desk in front of him. Cable looked up from his report into the face of the smuggest looking Deadpool he'd ever seen perched above him. “Bet you weren't expecting this, huh Nate?”
Cable gave the paperback a casual inspection. There was a picture of him and Wade on the cover - a reasonably flattering one compared to some of the previous examples Wade had brought to his attention like this - but it was, as far as he could tell, just a comic. Askani knew where Wade had pulled this one from.
“And this is?” he prompted.
“Hot off the press with recap pages, my letters column - the whole shebang! We just made the Ultimate Collection, baby! You and me!” Wade punctuated this by punching the air. “But that's not the best bit - you notice anything about that shiny, new cover, Nate?” The last bit was declared while leaning suggestively down over the desk.
Clearly this was going to be one of those times when nothing Wade said made any sense to anyone not inflicted with his own personal brand of insanity. Usually, Cable found the best thing to do in this situations was to humour him until he got it out of his system.
He gave the cover another cursory glance. “It has our names on it?” he hazarded.
“Uh-huh, I do believe he's on to something, and you know what else? You notice who's first on that cover? 'Cause I think you'll find it doesn't start with a 'C'. Why don't you read it aloud for the rest of the audience up the back there?”
“...Deadpool and Cable?”
“Deadpool and Cable!” cheered Wade. “I present to you Marvel's brand new golden boy! Sorry, Nate m'boy, the powers that be have finally realised who was really driving our modest-but-remarkably-consistent sales figures all along! No more piddly little alphabetical excuses keeping you ahead, no more 'and Deadpool' on our covers, you have been officially demoted all the way... to second billing. And you know what that means?” The last part was delivered while leaning even further into Cable's face.
“I'm sure you'll tell me.”
“It means I get to be on top now!” crowed Wade.
“Pardon?”
“Come now, Nate, you wouldn't ignore a completely arbitrary little rule from some far corner of fandom who mostly don't even speak English!”
It took Cable a minute to catch up. “As in, during sex? You were, just last...”
“I mean usually! By default! More than once on a week on alternate Thursdays in the name of 'spice and variety'. Possibly even more than fifty percent of the time. You writing this down?”
“I thought you liked bottoming. You tend to be quite vocal about it.”
“It's the principle of the thing! There is the top, and the bottom! The seem and the ook... or something like that... I had notes here...”
Cable could feel the start of a headache coming on. “Are we going to have to have another conversation about the problems with assuming rigid power dynamics in sexual roles?”
“Don't you be all 31st century with me!” said Wade, stabbing him in the chest with a finger, “You wouldn't want to disappoint all seventeen of our Japanese fans, would you?”
There was only one way of getting out of this debate quickly with any kind of grace. “...of course not.”
“That's my Nate! Sooo, what do you suppose we're going to be doing about five minutes from now?”
Cable raised an eyebrow and held the papers in his hand up a little higher. “I don't know about you, but I'm going to be finishing this report.”
This did not seem to be the response Wade had been prepared for. He sat back on his heels. “Aww, do you have to?”
“Wade, I have a lot of work to do today.” A few hours ensconced in the world of detailed immigration figures had never seemed more appealing.
“You couldn't take a break somewhere?”
“Not if I want to be done by this evening.”
“...but we're still on for this evening, aren't we?”
“Aren't we always?” said Cable mildly.
“You drive a hard bargain, Nate, but just for you I can keep the shear manliness of my FIRST BILLING-self under wraps until this evening.”
“Wonderful. I'll see you then,” said Cable, and lifted the report pointedly up to eye level. After a few seconds, he heard the door shut with a click. He relaxed slightly and turned his attention to finding his place...
“I'll be bending him over the table when he comes, yeehaw!” came floating down the corridor.
…and now he'd be doing it with the tune of 'Coming 'round the mountain' stuck in his head. Lovely.