Song: Oh, Brooke.
(Context: In the beginning, I mocked vixyish, with 'Oh, Michelle'. Foolishly, hsifyppah decided to defend her, with 'Damnit, Seanan'.
Welcome to our horror movie.)
***
Oh, Brooke don't think you're off the hook
Because you point the finger,
Honey, best be smart -- don't linger,
'Cause I mean to do you harm.
Oh, Brooke best take a second look
At what you say about me,
'Cause the folks that choose to doubt me
Often seem to buy the farm.
Now, when I was just a child, I found that fortune rarely smiled
On the pretty little blondes who liked to play rough with their toys,
They said 'be quiet and behave, don't raise your hamster from the grave,
Why don't you learn to get along with all the other girls and boys?'
So I sat and I observed, and still my mission was unswerved:
I knew that when the stars were right I'd crush you underneath my thumb.
Now, honey, you may think it's tacky that I'd blame it on my lacky,
But I've got a big advantage: people think that blondes are dumb.
Oh, Brooke don't think you're off the hook
Because you point the finger,
Honey, best be smart -- don't linger,
'Cause I mean to do you harm.
Oh, Brooke best take a second look
At what you say about me,
'Cause the folks that choose to doubt me
Often seem to buy the farm.
So it's true, I won't deny -- I heard those signals in the sky,
And I invited E.T.'s evil twin to drop in for a bite.
So Vixy was the incubator -- she's still bound to thank me later
When she's one of those I choose to save from E.T.'s appetite.
And if it turns out that I planted that dark manuscript enchanted
By a thousand fiends of hell in Vixy's path, well, what's the fuss?
Half the townsfolk did survive -- they may be trees, but they're alive --
And in the end, the deadly demons didn't damage us.
Oh, Brooke don't think you're off the hook
Because you point the finger,
Honey, best be smart -- don't linger,
'Cause I mean to do you harm.
Oh, Brooke best take a second look
At what you say about me,
'Cause the folks that choose to doubt me
Often seem to buy the farm.
Cornfield killers seem passe until you need to get your way,
But there's something to be said for men with chainsaws who can't die.
Michelle was going on a date, and in my book that made her bait.
She got off with a couple scratches, but the body count was high.
Now, I hope you understand that by unveiling all my plans
For world conquest and control you've gone and gotten on my nerves.
But I usually give warning when I plan to cause some mourning,
Now my dearest Brooke, believe, you're gonna get what you deserve.
Oh, Brooke don't think you're off the hook
Because you point the finger,
Honey, best be smart -- don't linger,
'Cause I mean to do you harm.
Oh, Brooke best take a second look
At what you say about me,
'Cause the folks that choose to doubt me
Often seem to buy the farm.
Yes, Brooke best take a second look
At what you say about me,
'Cause the folks that choose to doubt me
Often seem to buy the farm.
"Who's up for a SEQUEL?"
Welcome to our horror movie.)
***
Oh, Brooke don't think you're off the hook
Because you point the finger,
Honey, best be smart -- don't linger,
'Cause I mean to do you harm.
Oh, Brooke best take a second look
At what you say about me,
'Cause the folks that choose to doubt me
Often seem to buy the farm.
Now, when I was just a child, I found that fortune rarely smiled
On the pretty little blondes who liked to play rough with their toys,
They said 'be quiet and behave, don't raise your hamster from the grave,
Why don't you learn to get along with all the other girls and boys?'
So I sat and I observed, and still my mission was unswerved:
I knew that when the stars were right I'd crush you underneath my thumb.
Now, honey, you may think it's tacky that I'd blame it on my lacky,
But I've got a big advantage: people think that blondes are dumb.
Oh, Brooke don't think you're off the hook
Because you point the finger,
Honey, best be smart -- don't linger,
'Cause I mean to do you harm.
Oh, Brooke best take a second look
At what you say about me,
'Cause the folks that choose to doubt me
Often seem to buy the farm.
So it's true, I won't deny -- I heard those signals in the sky,
And I invited E.T.'s evil twin to drop in for a bite.
So Vixy was the incubator -- she's still bound to thank me later
When she's one of those I choose to save from E.T.'s appetite.
And if it turns out that I planted that dark manuscript enchanted
By a thousand fiends of hell in Vixy's path, well, what's the fuss?
Half the townsfolk did survive -- they may be trees, but they're alive --
And in the end, the deadly demons didn't damage us.
Oh, Brooke don't think you're off the hook
Because you point the finger,
Honey, best be smart -- don't linger,
'Cause I mean to do you harm.
Oh, Brooke best take a second look
At what you say about me,
'Cause the folks that choose to doubt me
Often seem to buy the farm.
Cornfield killers seem passe until you need to get your way,
But there's something to be said for men with chainsaws who can't die.
Michelle was going on a date, and in my book that made her bait.
She got off with a couple scratches, but the body count was high.
Now, I hope you understand that by unveiling all my plans
For world conquest and control you've gone and gotten on my nerves.
But I usually give warning when I plan to cause some mourning,
Now my dearest Brooke, believe, you're gonna get what you deserve.
Oh, Brooke don't think you're off the hook
Because you point the finger,
Honey, best be smart -- don't linger,
'Cause I mean to do you harm.
Oh, Brooke best take a second look
At what you say about me,
'Cause the folks that choose to doubt me
Often seem to buy the farm.
Yes, Brooke best take a second look
At what you say about me,
'Cause the folks that choose to doubt me
Often seem to buy the farm.
"Who's up for a SEQUEL?"