A moment to replenish my soul.
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I signed up for a lot of blogging sites such as blogger/blogspot, tumblr, multiply and twitter to flesh out my thoughts, documenting what's happening to me and expressing my utmost thoughts. I just end up frustrated for not pushing through my initial plans.
Well, as for the moment, I feel really empty. It seems that all those motivations and burdens that I had got all the energy that I have. I still can't start anew because I am still caught up with all the useless thoughts in me. I need to get rid of all the distress that I'm having.
I need to contend myself to something that drives out all the potentials that I have. I want to learn a lot of things to cultivate my thoughts and uphold what I firmly believe. What I have now are just plain thoughts--ideas that can be used to start a spark but not enough to actuate things. Instead of me starting to work and to depart from my old ways, I just stay there and get caught up with those--leaving me astray from the goals that I want. If someone asks me what goals do I really want in life, I can astoundingly deliver a elaborate all my dreams and plans. It all ends there. In reality, I haven't started even one step in achieving all those glamor and top-drawer plans.
What lacks in me is the guts to ask what really is the first step in achieving those. Because of the delays that I had in moving towards my dreams, a lot of people have already went ahead of me, in search for their own personal dreams. I still can't believe that they surpassed me and from them, I do not listen in every single word they tell me. I am still firm with the fact that I am way better than them. I would not confidently tell that I am, but because they had the courage to pursue what they have, they are now far ahead than me.
I got caught up with the accomplishments that I have in paper. I lack the character that is needed to survive this game. I know that there is still chance to fuel things up. I still have one month to establish who I really am. From there, I can set up who I want to be in the future. In whatever company I can apply for, I would not just be a splendor applicant on paper, but also in character.