Happy Trekmas Submission: "Open Book", Rated G
Title: Open Book
Author: caera1996
Recipient: cariad_winter
Rating: G
Series: AOS
Pairing/Characters: Kirk/McCoy
Word Count: 2030
Disclaimer: Not mine
Summary: During shoreleave on Betazed Bones learns he’s not nearly as good as hiding his feelings as he thought.
.
Leonard averted his eyes as Jim dropped his pants and boxers.
“I hate you,” he said, staring at a point on the wall, feeling himself flush.
Jim chuckled. “No you don’t.”
No I don’t, Leonard thought, turning more fully away from Jim to hide the flush on his face and folding his arms over his chest. That’s the damn problem! “You said we were having some shore leave!” Leonard accused.
“And we are,” Jim replied calmly. “But first we have to attend this wedding. It’ll only be a few hours, Bones. The wedding is even right here - in one of the ballrooms. Then the rest of the time we’re here, we’re free. It’s not a big deal.”
Leonard sighed. Normally, it wouldn’t be a big deal. Show up at some dignitary’s daughter’s wedding, shake a few hands, have a couple of drinks and some food, and call it a day. Easy, and a good trade-off for a few days shore leave on a beautiful planet.
But this was Betazed, and a wedding wasn’t just a wedding here. It was a naked wedding. Damn fool Betazoids.
Jim eyed his CMO speculatively. The grumpiness wasn’t wholly unexpected or even a surprise. It was pretty much a given. But something felt off about this. Bones was standing stiffly, turned away from Jim. Which in itself was weird. They’d seen each other naked plenty of times. Bones was pretty much the only doctor Jim had ever trusted, and it wasn’t like he was a prude.
Shrugging into a robe to wear downstairs, Jim decided to try one more time.
“C’mon Bones…you shy about seeing some naked bodies?” he gently teased.
Leonard rolled his eyes and turned around. “Of course not, you infant. I’m a doctor, for Pete’s sake. A body is a body. That’s nothin’ to do with it.”
“Then what? C’mon, Bones…could be fun,” he said, blue eyes bright with amusement.
It’s you, you idiot!
But he couldn’t admit that. So instead he said, “I don’t like them rooting around in my head with that damned telepathy.”
“Wow…that’s…xenophobic of you,” Jim said. “Bones, seriously. They don’t do that. Come on…I won’t have any fun without you.”
Leonard sighed hugely, rubbing a hand over his eyes. The last thing he wanted was to be naked in a room full of mind readers with a naked Jim.
“You ordering me, Captain?” Leonard asked, trying to get a feel for where Jim was on this.
Surprised, Jim was silent for a moment. Then, “Of course not,” he said, confusion evident in his voice. “Seriously, Bones, what…”
“Then I’ll catch up with you after,” Leonard said. He glanced at Jim again, then picked up a couple of PADDs. “See you later.”
Leaving a confused Jim behind, Leonard hurried out of the room. His face was burning and he couldn’t stop berating himself for acting like such a…a…I don’t even know what, he thought furiously. Some kinda idiot, for sure.
He’d known Jim a long time, and the quality of their relationship had changed. Or, at least, it had for him. For Jim…he didn’t know. Doubted that Jim felt anything like what he did…which was decidedly not just “friends”. Not anymore. Leonard was way past that, and he was in that new place completely alone. And the last thing he needed was to be around a bunch of damn mind readers with a completely naked Jim.
While Leonard was trying to keep himself occupied, Jim was disrobing and greeting people he’d met earlier. Doing his best to shake off the lingering self-consciousness that was impossible not to feel, Jim made his way through the gathering guests to find his seat.
“Ah, Captain! So good of you to come!”
Jim turned to see Cetah Zear, father of the bride and Ambassador to the Federation hurrying towards him.
“I wouldn’t miss it,” Jim said, shaking his hand. “Everything looks wonderful.”
“Yes, well, my daughter and my wife conspired to bankrupt me with this event, but she is my only, and she is worth every penny.”
“No doubt.”
“And where is your partner?” he asked, looking around.
“My…partner?”
“Yes…the doctor. He’s your partner, is he not?”
“Uh, well…he’s my CMO and my friend, if that’s what you mean.”
“Oh…my mistake. So sorry about that. Ah, excuse me, I must make the rounds.”
“Absolutely. Good to see you.”
Taking his seat, Jim puzzled over the “partner” comment for a moment. Zear had seemed so surprised when he’d realized he and Bones weren’t together. He didn’t devote much time to his thoughts though, as the tone sounded that signaled everyone to take their seats, and the wedding started.
It was a nice ceremony. The bride and groom looked so happy, and Jim enjoyed seeing that happiness. It made him feel a longing for something that - while not completely foreign to him, was at least unusual - he really didn’t think was in the cards for him. He had his ship, an awesome crew, and a best friend who was the best part of his life. He was happy, and most of the time, he was content. Sometimes, though…
The ceremony itself was short and sweet, and afterwards everyone moved to an adjoining room to celebrate. During the Betazed equivalent of a reception, Jim was near the bar, just observing the crowd. Nudity wasn’t a problem for him, but it was still incomparably strange to be surrounded by completely naked eating, dancing, celebrating people. Stranger still to be a part of it. He wished Bones was here so he wouldn’t feel alone.
“You should get me a drink,” a female voice cut through his thoughts, and he turned to see a beautiful brunette looking up at him with those dark eyes common to all Betazoids.
“Lwahoxah Troi,” Jim said, remembering that her family was a part of the official Federation delegation - some Sacred Chalice holders or something like that. “Good to see you.”
“Hm…and you mean that in more ways than one. Good to see you, too.”
Jim’s smile widened. She was a beautiful woman, about his age (he thought - it was hard to tell with Betazoids), and not bashful at all as she very obviously took in Jim’s form.
“Mind reading?” he asked. He signaled the bartender to get his attention. “I thought you always asked permission first.”
Lwahoxah scoffed, accepting the drink Jim handed her. “Like I need to be a telepath to see the way you look at me,” she said, observing Jim with a beautifully arched eyebrow. “And not to say I don’t return the favor, not that I would dream of acting on it. Dr. McCoy doesn’t appear to be the type to share.”
“You’re the second person here to assume we’re together. He’s my CMO and my best friend, but that’s all,” Jim said.
“Are you telling me you’re available?” Lwahoxah asked, seeming to be just as surprised as Cetah was.
“Are you…saying I’m not?” Jim asked.
Lwahoxah raised a slender shoulder. “I didn’t overtly read Dr. McCoy’s mind, but the feelings he was putting out about you were too strong to ignore. Has he not said anything?”
Jim’s heart skipped a beat in his chest. “No,” he said softly.
“Do you feel the same?” she asked.
Jim couldn’t answer, his mind racing around the possibility that he hadn’t dared hope for.
Lwahoxah shook her head. “Terrans. It is obvious you do. Perhaps you should go talk to him,” she said.
Jim snapped out of it and looked down at her, a small smile on his face. “I think I will. Enjoy the rest of the party.”
“And you.”
Leaving his drink on the bar, Jim left to collect his robe and - to his relief - wrap himself securely before heading back up to their room. He hoped Bones was there.
Hurrying, his heart racing, Jim tried to figure out how to talk about this. Bones hadn’t said anything to him…why? He didn’t want a relationship with him, was the most obvious, heartbreaking thought. Maybe that was true…he hadn’t wanted to spend time with him today, so…
Coming to a stop outside their door, Jim pressed his hand to the panel and pushed the door open when the lock released.
“Bones?” Jim called.
“Jim?” Bones poked his head into the room from the balcony where he’d been lounging. “Everything okay? You’re back earlier than I expected.”
“Everything is fine. We need to talk. Wait - I have to change.”
Brows furrowed, Leonard followed Jim into the suite, stopping short of the bedroom Jim was changing in.
“What’s up?” he asked. “You sound nervous.”
Jim took a deep breath and blew it out slowly as he pulled a shirt over his head. You have no idea. Instead of answering Bones directly, Jim made his way back to the balcony, Leonard following.
“Let’s sit,” Jim said. “I’m not exactly sure how to talk about this…” He trailed off, biting his lip, and Leonard took the chair next to him, eyeing him warily.
“Talk about what, Jim? C’mon - you’re worrying me here.”
Feeling Bones’ eyes on him, Jim felt his cheeks warm as he flushed. He rubbed the back of his neck as the flush developed into a deeper red, and not for the first time he cursed his fair complexion. He kept his own gaze trained down, finding it impossible to look up.
Taking in his discomfiture, Leonard was perceptive enough to have some idea of what was wrong. Damn Betazoids he thought. He’d tried to keep his thoughts to himself, but he’d caught the looks a couple of them had given him and Jim, and he knew what they thought - because of the way Leonard felt. He’d already corrected one person who’d asked about the presence of his “partner”. But he wasn’t going to say it first. Not until he was sure that was what the kid wanted to talk about. What else could it be, though? And damned if he was going to sit through a, “you’re my best friend; it’s not you, it’s me” conversation. No wonder Jim looked uncomfortable.
“Spit it out kid, before you choke on it,” Leonard said, prepared to deal with it.
Taking a breath, Jim gathered his wits and forced himself to look up at Bones. “Everyone thinks we’re together,” he said, “because…”
“Because of me,” Leonard said, and now Jim did look over at him, and he was the one who looked away. “Look, Jim…our friendship…”
“Wait…it’s true?” he asked, and Leonard closed his eyes. “Is it? Do you want…something…more than just being friends?”
Leonard sighed. “I want our friendship first,” he said quietly. “I never meant for you to find out, and I don’t need anything else from you. But I don’t want to…can’t…lose what we have.”
Jim was quiet for a moment, contemplating what Bones said, and how he said it. He didn’t think Jim would want him in that way.
And that couldn’t be further from the truth. He just never thought he had a chance. Taking a breath and leaning forward in his chair, he reached for Leonard, hesitated for a moment, then took his hand, gripping gently.
Leonard looked down at their joined hands, then up at Jim, and found himself lost in the depth of those blue eyes.
“I’m glad I found out. I never thought I had a chance with you, and after all the time we’ve been together, a chance with you is all I’ve wanted,” Jim admitted.
“You - really? With me? You’re not freaked out by-“
“No, not at all. I’m actually really happy,” Jim said, his eyes smiling as they looked at each other.
“I don’t do casual, Jim,” Leonard said, still not willing to believe it just yet.
“When it comes to you, neither do I,” he replied steadily.
They sat quietly for a few moments, each taking in what the other had finally admitted, letting it settle in their hearts.
“I…I’m not sure what this would mean for us,” Leonard finally admitted. “How it would change things.”
Jim shrugged. “I don’t know either. But…I think it would be worth finding out.”
Leonard licked his lips and squeezed Jim’s hand. “Yeah…me too.”
Author: caera1996
Recipient: cariad_winter
Rating: G
Series: AOS
Pairing/Characters: Kirk/McCoy
Word Count: 2030
Disclaimer: Not mine
Summary: During shoreleave on Betazed Bones learns he’s not nearly as good as hiding his feelings as he thought.
.
Leonard averted his eyes as Jim dropped his pants and boxers.
“I hate you,” he said, staring at a point on the wall, feeling himself flush.
Jim chuckled. “No you don’t.”
No I don’t, Leonard thought, turning more fully away from Jim to hide the flush on his face and folding his arms over his chest. That’s the damn problem! “You said we were having some shore leave!” Leonard accused.
“And we are,” Jim replied calmly. “But first we have to attend this wedding. It’ll only be a few hours, Bones. The wedding is even right here - in one of the ballrooms. Then the rest of the time we’re here, we’re free. It’s not a big deal.”
Leonard sighed. Normally, it wouldn’t be a big deal. Show up at some dignitary’s daughter’s wedding, shake a few hands, have a couple of drinks and some food, and call it a day. Easy, and a good trade-off for a few days shore leave on a beautiful planet.
But this was Betazed, and a wedding wasn’t just a wedding here. It was a naked wedding. Damn fool Betazoids.
Jim eyed his CMO speculatively. The grumpiness wasn’t wholly unexpected or even a surprise. It was pretty much a given. But something felt off about this. Bones was standing stiffly, turned away from Jim. Which in itself was weird. They’d seen each other naked plenty of times. Bones was pretty much the only doctor Jim had ever trusted, and it wasn’t like he was a prude.
Shrugging into a robe to wear downstairs, Jim decided to try one more time.
“C’mon Bones…you shy about seeing some naked bodies?” he gently teased.
Leonard rolled his eyes and turned around. “Of course not, you infant. I’m a doctor, for Pete’s sake. A body is a body. That’s nothin’ to do with it.”
“Then what? C’mon, Bones…could be fun,” he said, blue eyes bright with amusement.
It’s you, you idiot!
But he couldn’t admit that. So instead he said, “I don’t like them rooting around in my head with that damned telepathy.”
“Wow…that’s…xenophobic of you,” Jim said. “Bones, seriously. They don’t do that. Come on…I won’t have any fun without you.”
Leonard sighed hugely, rubbing a hand over his eyes. The last thing he wanted was to be naked in a room full of mind readers with a naked Jim.
“You ordering me, Captain?” Leonard asked, trying to get a feel for where Jim was on this.
Surprised, Jim was silent for a moment. Then, “Of course not,” he said, confusion evident in his voice. “Seriously, Bones, what…”
“Then I’ll catch up with you after,” Leonard said. He glanced at Jim again, then picked up a couple of PADDs. “See you later.”
Leaving a confused Jim behind, Leonard hurried out of the room. His face was burning and he couldn’t stop berating himself for acting like such a…a…I don’t even know what, he thought furiously. Some kinda idiot, for sure.
He’d known Jim a long time, and the quality of their relationship had changed. Or, at least, it had for him. For Jim…he didn’t know. Doubted that Jim felt anything like what he did…which was decidedly not just “friends”. Not anymore. Leonard was way past that, and he was in that new place completely alone. And the last thing he needed was to be around a bunch of damn mind readers with a completely naked Jim.
While Leonard was trying to keep himself occupied, Jim was disrobing and greeting people he’d met earlier. Doing his best to shake off the lingering self-consciousness that was impossible not to feel, Jim made his way through the gathering guests to find his seat.
“Ah, Captain! So good of you to come!”
Jim turned to see Cetah Zear, father of the bride and Ambassador to the Federation hurrying towards him.
“I wouldn’t miss it,” Jim said, shaking his hand. “Everything looks wonderful.”
“Yes, well, my daughter and my wife conspired to bankrupt me with this event, but she is my only, and she is worth every penny.”
“No doubt.”
“And where is your partner?” he asked, looking around.
“My…partner?”
“Yes…the doctor. He’s your partner, is he not?”
“Uh, well…he’s my CMO and my friend, if that’s what you mean.”
“Oh…my mistake. So sorry about that. Ah, excuse me, I must make the rounds.”
“Absolutely. Good to see you.”
Taking his seat, Jim puzzled over the “partner” comment for a moment. Zear had seemed so surprised when he’d realized he and Bones weren’t together. He didn’t devote much time to his thoughts though, as the tone sounded that signaled everyone to take their seats, and the wedding started.
It was a nice ceremony. The bride and groom looked so happy, and Jim enjoyed seeing that happiness. It made him feel a longing for something that - while not completely foreign to him, was at least unusual - he really didn’t think was in the cards for him. He had his ship, an awesome crew, and a best friend who was the best part of his life. He was happy, and most of the time, he was content. Sometimes, though…
The ceremony itself was short and sweet, and afterwards everyone moved to an adjoining room to celebrate. During the Betazed equivalent of a reception, Jim was near the bar, just observing the crowd. Nudity wasn’t a problem for him, but it was still incomparably strange to be surrounded by completely naked eating, dancing, celebrating people. Stranger still to be a part of it. He wished Bones was here so he wouldn’t feel alone.
“You should get me a drink,” a female voice cut through his thoughts, and he turned to see a beautiful brunette looking up at him with those dark eyes common to all Betazoids.
“Lwahoxah Troi,” Jim said, remembering that her family was a part of the official Federation delegation - some Sacred Chalice holders or something like that. “Good to see you.”
“Hm…and you mean that in more ways than one. Good to see you, too.”
Jim’s smile widened. She was a beautiful woman, about his age (he thought - it was hard to tell with Betazoids), and not bashful at all as she very obviously took in Jim’s form.
“Mind reading?” he asked. He signaled the bartender to get his attention. “I thought you always asked permission first.”
Lwahoxah scoffed, accepting the drink Jim handed her. “Like I need to be a telepath to see the way you look at me,” she said, observing Jim with a beautifully arched eyebrow. “And not to say I don’t return the favor, not that I would dream of acting on it. Dr. McCoy doesn’t appear to be the type to share.”
“You’re the second person here to assume we’re together. He’s my CMO and my best friend, but that’s all,” Jim said.
“Are you telling me you’re available?” Lwahoxah asked, seeming to be just as surprised as Cetah was.
“Are you…saying I’m not?” Jim asked.
Lwahoxah raised a slender shoulder. “I didn’t overtly read Dr. McCoy’s mind, but the feelings he was putting out about you were too strong to ignore. Has he not said anything?”
Jim’s heart skipped a beat in his chest. “No,” he said softly.
“Do you feel the same?” she asked.
Jim couldn’t answer, his mind racing around the possibility that he hadn’t dared hope for.
Lwahoxah shook her head. “Terrans. It is obvious you do. Perhaps you should go talk to him,” she said.
Jim snapped out of it and looked down at her, a small smile on his face. “I think I will. Enjoy the rest of the party.”
“And you.”
Leaving his drink on the bar, Jim left to collect his robe and - to his relief - wrap himself securely before heading back up to their room. He hoped Bones was there.
Hurrying, his heart racing, Jim tried to figure out how to talk about this. Bones hadn’t said anything to him…why? He didn’t want a relationship with him, was the most obvious, heartbreaking thought. Maybe that was true…he hadn’t wanted to spend time with him today, so…
Coming to a stop outside their door, Jim pressed his hand to the panel and pushed the door open when the lock released.
“Bones?” Jim called.
“Jim?” Bones poked his head into the room from the balcony where he’d been lounging. “Everything okay? You’re back earlier than I expected.”
“Everything is fine. We need to talk. Wait - I have to change.”
Brows furrowed, Leonard followed Jim into the suite, stopping short of the bedroom Jim was changing in.
“What’s up?” he asked. “You sound nervous.”
Jim took a deep breath and blew it out slowly as he pulled a shirt over his head. You have no idea. Instead of answering Bones directly, Jim made his way back to the balcony, Leonard following.
“Let’s sit,” Jim said. “I’m not exactly sure how to talk about this…” He trailed off, biting his lip, and Leonard took the chair next to him, eyeing him warily.
“Talk about what, Jim? C’mon - you’re worrying me here.”
Feeling Bones’ eyes on him, Jim felt his cheeks warm as he flushed. He rubbed the back of his neck as the flush developed into a deeper red, and not for the first time he cursed his fair complexion. He kept his own gaze trained down, finding it impossible to look up.
Taking in his discomfiture, Leonard was perceptive enough to have some idea of what was wrong. Damn Betazoids he thought. He’d tried to keep his thoughts to himself, but he’d caught the looks a couple of them had given him and Jim, and he knew what they thought - because of the way Leonard felt. He’d already corrected one person who’d asked about the presence of his “partner”. But he wasn’t going to say it first. Not until he was sure that was what the kid wanted to talk about. What else could it be, though? And damned if he was going to sit through a, “you’re my best friend; it’s not you, it’s me” conversation. No wonder Jim looked uncomfortable.
“Spit it out kid, before you choke on it,” Leonard said, prepared to deal with it.
Taking a breath, Jim gathered his wits and forced himself to look up at Bones. “Everyone thinks we’re together,” he said, “because…”
“Because of me,” Leonard said, and now Jim did look over at him, and he was the one who looked away. “Look, Jim…our friendship…”
“Wait…it’s true?” he asked, and Leonard closed his eyes. “Is it? Do you want…something…more than just being friends?”
Leonard sighed. “I want our friendship first,” he said quietly. “I never meant for you to find out, and I don’t need anything else from you. But I don’t want to…can’t…lose what we have.”
Jim was quiet for a moment, contemplating what Bones said, and how he said it. He didn’t think Jim would want him in that way.
And that couldn’t be further from the truth. He just never thought he had a chance. Taking a breath and leaning forward in his chair, he reached for Leonard, hesitated for a moment, then took his hand, gripping gently.
Leonard looked down at their joined hands, then up at Jim, and found himself lost in the depth of those blue eyes.
“I’m glad I found out. I never thought I had a chance with you, and after all the time we’ve been together, a chance with you is all I’ve wanted,” Jim admitted.
“You - really? With me? You’re not freaked out by-“
“No, not at all. I’m actually really happy,” Jim said, his eyes smiling as they looked at each other.
“I don’t do casual, Jim,” Leonard said, still not willing to believe it just yet.
“When it comes to you, neither do I,” he replied steadily.
They sat quietly for a few moments, each taking in what the other had finally admitted, letting it settle in their hearts.
“I…I’m not sure what this would mean for us,” Leonard finally admitted. “How it would change things.”
Jim shrugged. “I don’t know either. But…I think it would be worth finding out.”
Leonard licked his lips and squeezed Jim’s hand. “Yeah…me too.”