Things I have noticed as I write right now...hmm...write right...AAAA
-I'm staring at a life-sized cut out of a pharmacist named Victor. He's staring at me, showing his teeth while all I wanna do is have my way with his now of age daughter...with consent of course...with consent
-You know what I haven't had in a while? A duel. Hillary, what say you?
-That's a WHOPPER (R) of a BIG MAC(R)
-Van Gough wasn't crazy...he was missing an ear for Christ's sakes. Wouldn't that make you a tad eccentric?
-"Support Our Troops" PSH! I'll give them my support when I get my support for the plan to murder all children named Francis!
-All Pro-wrestling is fake... except the storylines, those are real.
-Harry Potter needs to 'fess up for his sins.
-If you're going to wear a shirt that mentions the "voices in your head", pay homage and drown your children, or go kill couples with a gun. No one likes a welcher!
-Hey! Instead of a shirt with a picture of Scarface on it, how about a shirt with a picture of "Tardface: The mobster with Downs" ...not so cool now, is it?
-Yelling at the movie screen won't make your boyfriend stop beating you!
-Hey Cracker! Go back to the Garden of Eden! You know, the place where the formation of ALL mankind began? Go there!
-GIVE KIDS GUNS but instead of bullets, load them with Play-Dough(R) so they can play 'gang war' AND have some salty goodness in their little mowt. yes, mowT.
-Why are pigs so stupid?
-In Asia somewhere, there's gotta be a name for the dangly thing in the back of my throat!
-Nebraska doesn't do it for me...neither does Zimbabwe. Now Romania! There's some hot stuff!
-Bet you didn't know thiz, but I made every letter of the alphabet fit into this quirky, jutting, guaged sentence X.
-Blood loss is just another price to pay to be famous.
-We should start giving our troops steroids and PCP...that'll win the war FAST!
-"People" magazine once said she was 'beautiful', the 'hottest starlette in hollywood'. Well would she still be hot with a severely drippy head-cold??? Think about that while I inform "Entertainment Weekly"
-ADVICE: Just because a bug is black and looks furry does NOT mean it wants to be your teddy bear...Man, Elvis was full of shit on that one.
-If you ever get the chance to rough it in the mountains for 11 days, don't do it.
-Rotundra is the absence of bigotry in science and nature
-Girls: If you're gonna get a tattoo only on your lower back, how about this...
...OR IF YOU'RE INTO THAT...
-I just heard a motorcycle.............................envy is my sin.
-I think the mayor is sleeping with my wife. Oh wait, I haven't got a wife, or a mayor, or any sleep.
-I like my women how I like my cars...when they break down, you can sell them to Goodwill.
-Religion is just another way of saying "Hey, that's Mine! Stop it!"
-Hey! Instead of a shirt that says "Pimp", how about one that says "I'm So Different Because I Prefer Over-Used Pussy"?
-Hey! Instead of a shirt that says "Princess", how about one that says "I'd Even Fuck Hitler"?
-Staring into the eyes of Uncle Sam, I realize that it's true...he does want me...I mean really WANTS me.
-Entertaining guests and feeding yourself at the same time is a difficult task without the use of euthanasia
today, I deliriously declared to Nic Fox that I am in fact like "Jesus Cracking Skulls"
-You know what I haven't had in a while? A duel. Hillary, what say you?
-That's a WHOPPER (R) of a BIG MAC(R)
-Van Gough wasn't crazy...he was missing an ear for Christ's sakes. Wouldn't that make you a tad eccentric?
-"Support Our Troops" PSH! I'll give them my support when I get my support for the plan to murder all children named Francis!
-All Pro-wrestling is fake... except the storylines, those are real.
-Harry Potter needs to 'fess up for his sins.
-If you're going to wear a shirt that mentions the "voices in your head", pay homage and drown your children, or go kill couples with a gun. No one likes a welcher!
-Hey! Instead of a shirt with a picture of Scarface on it, how about a shirt with a picture of "Tardface: The mobster with Downs" ...not so cool now, is it?
-Yelling at the movie screen won't make your boyfriend stop beating you!
-Hey Cracker! Go back to the Garden of Eden! You know, the place where the formation of ALL mankind began? Go there!
-GIVE KIDS GUNS but instead of bullets, load them with Play-Dough(R) so they can play 'gang war' AND have some salty goodness in their little mowt. yes, mowT.
-Why are pigs so stupid?
-In Asia somewhere, there's gotta be a name for the dangly thing in the back of my throat!
-Nebraska doesn't do it for me...neither does Zimbabwe. Now Romania! There's some hot stuff!
-Bet you didn't know thiz, but I made every letter of the alphabet fit into this quirky, jutting, guaged sentence X.
-Blood loss is just another price to pay to be famous.
-We should start giving our troops steroids and PCP...that'll win the war FAST!
-"People" magazine once said she was 'beautiful', the 'hottest starlette in hollywood'. Well would she still be hot with a severely drippy head-cold??? Think about that while I inform "Entertainment Weekly"
-ADVICE: Just because a bug is black and looks furry does NOT mean it wants to be your teddy bear...Man, Elvis was full of shit on that one.
-If you ever get the chance to rough it in the mountains for 11 days, don't do it.
-Rotundra is the absence of bigotry in science and nature
-Girls: If you're gonna get a tattoo only on your lower back, how about this...
...OR IF YOU'RE INTO THAT...
-I just heard a motorcycle.............................envy is my sin.
-I think the mayor is sleeping with my wife. Oh wait, I haven't got a wife, or a mayor, or any sleep.
-I like my women how I like my cars...when they break down, you can sell them to Goodwill.
-Religion is just another way of saying "Hey, that's Mine! Stop it!"
-Hey! Instead of a shirt that says "Pimp", how about one that says "I'm So Different Because I Prefer Over-Used Pussy"?
-Hey! Instead of a shirt that says "Princess", how about one that says "I'd Even Fuck Hitler"?
-Staring into the eyes of Uncle Sam, I realize that it's true...he does want me...I mean really WANTS me.
-Entertaining guests and feeding yourself at the same time is a difficult task without the use of euthanasia
today, I deliriously declared to Nic Fox that I am in fact like "Jesus Cracking Skulls"