The Afore Mentioned Drama

[caffeine_bunny]

*shrugs* Some people call what I'm about to talk about "drama mongering", but what I'm about to post here is simply truth. The Memphis furs are not very organized. We have an LJ, and very few gatherings. On November the first, Strangething tells me that other furs were having a meeting behind my back to discuss how much they don't like me. That

Comments

[bucktowntiger]

my question to you is if you have friends in memphis (which you indicated you did by your last sentence), and i'm guessing those friends are furs, then what keeps you from still being friends with them and hanging out with them? surely not exclusion from a community on LiveJournal.

LiveJournal.

[caffeine_bunny]

Actually, I still am meeting with my furry friends in Memphis.

[bucktowntiger]

that's great to hear :)

[kyo_foxtrot]

I'm sorry to hear about your feeling of exclusion from the furs in Memphis. The one thing I've realized from the many furry social groups I associate with is that there is a way to conduct matters, and a way not to conduct around people. When you look at the situation you have to realize that a furry gathering, unless specified, is a very PG area. When conducting yourself in a group, you need to act socially appropriate for the situation. When there are minors and parents involved it is very uncouth to act in any way other than talking like normal friends. Talk about sex, or any sexual gestures would be deemed very inappropriate for this situation, and this is where I seem to find you lacking from your statement. I understand that you don't believe that you did anything wrong, but unfortunately you are in the minority in the situation. This problem could have simply been handed with a simple apology and easy change in how you conduct yourself in said "PG" environment, but by your statement there was no effort in your part in fixing

[caffeine_bunny]

I'm sorry if I didn't make this clear, but before the letter of ban was received, none of it's signers had said that I had ever acted uncouth, or asked me to change anything about my behavior.

[strangething]

Try to keep things in perspective, bunny. All but one of the letter-writers have softened their positions. And all Blackie has done is prevent you from posting new threads on the group.

[caffeine_bunny]

Dear, the letter was written in a spiteful tone. The signers were all adults, you can't pretend that they didn't know how spiteful it was going to feel coming from them. Anyone who has been through high school should know that when a person signs a business letter, it is signed as if the signer recites the paper verbatim to the recipient.

[sohjin]

On the flipside what you view as appropriate and okay and normal may not be what everybody else around you agrees with.

I'd try to look at it from their view first.

[caffeine_bunny]

I don't assume I am doing something out of the ordinary when no one tells me so. In the letter of ban, there was nothing specific enough to show me what point of view I should be considering. I can read minds, but deciphering surface thoughts takes a long time and I have to be doing it consciously. Yes, I did feel their emotion at the time, but in hind-sight, I see that each of them covered their true emotions at the time that they saw me each time we would meet, instead of the standard "tourniquet" method I'm used to seeing... That is a very disturbing thought as it would mean that they never trusted me, but then again, I already pointed that out in the main post.

[midnightneko85]

I didn't think about this during our telephone conversation so please forgive me for bringing this up a bit late.
During the end of our conversation, I had made the comment that you came off as snooty. You gave me the reason that you simply have high confidence in yourself. However, not 10 minutes before that, you passionately said to me "thats WEIRD" as we were discussing the differences in our sexual lifestyles, and you went on to explain why yours is better than mine. And I know I am not the only person you said this to. You don't think that would be considered rude? or "unconstructive criticism"? or a "belittling comment"? Don't get me wrong, you're entitled to your own opinion and its okay to explain why you have your own preferences, but calling someone weird because they are different from you is definitely belittling.

[caffeine_bunny]

Mine is a mathematical process of weighing each action against an opposing action. After explaining how I came to the conclusion that my sexual lifestyle is mathematically more fulfilling and leaves me no way of being "hurt", I find it weird that ANYONE, not just you, would choose to remain with a different lifestyle, but note that my words were "that's weird" not "you're weird". If I thought you were weird, I wouldn't have spent so much time talking to you

[kyo_foxtrot]

Wow...just wow...
This is....by far the craziest thing that I've read in a long time...and I've read Copperfield. Congratulations sir, you are the winner.