Sherlock Fanfic: Sherlock, the RPG - The Round with the Hound

[caffienekitty]

Title: Sherlock, the RPG: The Round with the Hound.
Fandom: Sherlock/RPGs
Rating/Warning: Gen, PG13, AU? Non-British multi-voice dialog with occasional gesture direction, profanity, and excessive use of the word "dude". CRACK. Weirdness, humour, RPG nerdery ahoy.
Word Count: 1000-ish
Disclaimer: I DISCLAIM ALL THE THINGS.
A/N: Again, a Google Docs/Drive/Whatever they're calling it today rummage turned this up. Sort of an unasked for sequel to the first one, I suppose. Role-playing system used in here is still SJG's Gurps, no knowledge required. [LJ-only]

Summary: Several scenes from "The Hounds of Baskerville" as part of a tabletop role-playing game held in Steve's Mark's North American basement.


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Sherlock, the RPG: The Round with the Hound.
by CaffieneKitty
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Voices
Mark: Steve's Co-GameMaster, running this session
Ben: Playing Sherlock Holmes
Marty: Playing Dr. John Watson
Rupert: Playing DI Lestrade

Sherlock at the Hollow with Henry

Mark: "You're in the Hollow checking things out, when you hear something howling."

Ben: "Where's it coming from? I look around."

Mark: "Roll a vision check."

Ben: "On what? There's nothing to see, this guy's a raving nutbag."

Mark: "Humour me."

Ben: "Fine." *rolls*

Mark: "You see the Hound."

Ben: "What?!"

Marty: "Oooo..."

Mark: "You see it. It's about the size of a couch, red eyes, dripping jaws, skin all patchy and scarred, looks like a zombie. Giant fangs-"

Ben: "But there's no actual hound though! There can't be!"

Mark: "And yet you're still seeing one."

Ben: "Fuuuuuuu-"

Marty: "And that is the sound of Ben blowing his Boggle check."

Mark: "This isn't TOON, Marty. There are no Boggle checks in Gurps."

Ben: "But, but, but...?!"

Marty: "Even so, I think you broke him."

Mark: "Mwahaha. Excellent."

Lestrade shows up

Rupert: "Sorry, just got off work. Can I be there?"

Mark: "You're late, Rupert, you missed the intro."

Rupert: "I can pick it up, I mean seriously, they're hunting a werewolf?"

Mark: *sigh* "No. Maybe."

Rupert: "C'mooooon."

Mark: "They aren't in London, you'd need a reason to be there."

Rupert: "You can say Ben's creepy government overlord brother sent me to check up on him."

Ben: "It would make sense. I did just totally breach security on a super-secret military base using Mycroft's ID. He's gotta be pissed."

Mark: "Fine. You see Rupert's character checking in at the Inn."

Marty: "'Rupert! What are you doing here?'"

Mark: "His character's name's not Rupert."

Marty: "Whatever his character's first name is then."

Rupert: "I don't have a first name. I'm just 'Lestraaahd'."

Marty: "Of course you've got a first name."

Rupert: "'Lestraaaaahd'."

Marty: "Lestrade Lestrade?"

Rupert: "Fine, it's Greg."

Ben: "Greg? Really?"

Rupert: *shrug* "Like you'd have ever asked for it anyway."

Ben: "You have a point."

Mind Palace

Ben: "Come on! I know there's something weird about the word 'Hound', you said it bugged me."

Mark: "Yep, and you keep failing your IQ checks."

Ben: "I haven't made any IQ checks!"

Mark: "I know, I have, any time you encounter something new that might trigger the memory."

Ben: "Yeah, 'cause you fucked me up on hallucinogens."

Marty: "Like your character hasn't done that to himself."

Ben: "That's just backstory!"

Marty: "Uh hunh. Sure."

Ben: "I've got eidetic memory though, Mark!"

Mark: "Eidetic level one. Not full eidetic. You still need to make the roll and your rolls have been shit."

Ben: "Can I take twenty?"

Mark: "This is Gurps, not D20."

Ben: "Fine then, can I like, meditate or something, improve my roll?"

Mark: "...do you have Meditation?"

Ben: "Not really. I should."

Mark: "Well then-"

Ben: "Come on, Mark! We're stuck! We need a break here, all we have is normal sugar and a glowing rabbit!"

Mark: "Fine. In the interests of wrapping this up before two am, let's say you have a memory room."

Marty: "Ooo."

Ben: "What?"

Mark: "Mnemonics."

Rupert: "Gesundheit."

Marty: "It's a memory trick. You have a room in your mind with things filed as objects in the room."

Ben: "So like the hard drive thing?"

Mark: "Yeah."

Ben: "Awesome. Just a room though? Can it be bigger, like a palace?"

Mark: "It's you. Of course it's a palace."

Ben: "Woo!"

Mark: "You need to take five minutes completely uninterrupted and focussed. If you, that is character you or player you, talks at any point in the next five actual minutes, you start over."

Marty: "Oh, I like that part. Can he use it all the time?"

Ben: "Shut up. 'Everyone clear the room I'm going to my mind palace!'"

Marty: "Pfft! Ha!"

Ben: "Shut up."

Marty: "Hey, I don't mind at all! I get to spend more time flirting with the scientist that makes bunnies glow."

Mark: "Yeaaaaah, not really. She's acting momish toward you."

Marty: "That's just because Ben poisoned me."

Ben: "Tried to poison you, who knows what actually happened, because I made that Chemistry roll by miles and that is the normallest fucking sugar on the planet."

Mark: "Reset your 'Mind Palace' counter, Ben."

Ben: "Fuck!"

Marty: "Anyway, I got poisoned, freaked out and so I look like I need mommed right now. I'll get over it in a minute and turn on the charm full blast."

Mark: "You want to hook up with the geneticist, do it in your own head, this game is PG-13."

Marty: "Even with the naked dominatrix last session?"

Mark: "That- I- Uh. That was Steve's idea."

Marty: "Oh fine, whatever. Steve would let me get lucky with the bunny scientist."

Mark: "Steve's not going to let you get lucky with anyone! How many NPC's do you need to strike out with before you get the memo?"

Marty: "Two things to counter your point though: Naked. Dominatrix."

Mark: "That was- There will be no getting it on with the bunny scientist! Moving on now."

Marty: "Fine, whatever. Spoilsport."

The Hound in the Hollow

Rupert: "All right! I shoot it!"

Mark: "Roll."

Rupert: *rolls* "Crap!"

Mark: "You miss. Totally. Dirt sprays up to one side. It's still coming."

Rupert: "But I'm a cop! I should have a way better Guns skill than this!"

Marty: "You're a British cop, dude. They don't use guns unless they're a special armed branch, something like SWAT."

Mark: "Plus you've picked up a character that started out as an NPC, so your point value is still catching up, and most of that is in Legal Enforcement Powers, Contacts and Administrative stuff."

Rupert: "Well, crap!"

Mark: "It'll catch up faster when your schedule is less nuts and you can make it to all the games. 'John', your action."

Marty: "Shoot it."

Mark: "Roll."

Marty: *dice roll* "...eeehhhh. I don't know...."

Mark: "No, that's fine, you've got crazy skill levels. *rolls* You hit it, it goes down."

Rupert: "He's a doctor!"

Mark: "And an army veteran. Before you started dropping in it was a two person party, so Marty doubles as healer and gun-bunny."

Marty: "And babysitter."

Ben: "Shut up! I'm like a freaking mad-scientist wizard crime guy!"

Marty: "Yes, Ben, we know."

Ben: "Respect the brilliance."

Chase scene finale

Rupert: "But I should be trying to arrest this guy we're chasing, right? Or am I out of my jurisdiction? "

Mark: "He's hauling ass, you'd have to catch him first."

Rupert: "And then can I arrest him or do I need to bug the local cops and do a crap load of paperwork again like I did to get the gun?"

Ben: "Oh no no no. Paperwork later. When we catch this guy, I'm grilling the shit out of him immediately. Then you can arrest him."

Rupert: "Alright!"

Mark: "I, uh. Really?"

Marty: "Totally. We have to interrogate him. He's gotta be a part of something bigger."

Mark: "Well. Um. He, uh, he's panicking and runs in a completely random direction." *rolls dice* "Oh darn. He runs into the mine field."

Ben: "...he what?"

Marty: "Yeaaaaah, suuuuuuure he does."

Mark: "What? He does. It's dark, he's being chased by lunatics with guns, he's panicking. Wrong turn, boom. Scientist bits everywhere. Deal with it."

Ben: "You can't just-"

Mark: "Look, it's past two in the morning, I'm not GM-ing a drawn out interrogation at this hour, and seriously guys-" *Jedi handwave* "This is not the plot seed you are looking for."

Marty: "Really? He seemed-"

Mark: "Oh no, wait til you see what Steve's got in the works. This guy's a dead end. An 'explodified into a chunky red spray' end actually."

Ben: "Fine then."

Rupert: "Oh, great. So we blew up a guy?"

Marty: "Looks like."

Rupert: "Fantastic. What do I need to roll on my Administrative bullshitting skill to not get fired or get any of us arrested?"

Mark: "Heh heh heh. We'll see..."

Rupert: "Craaaap."

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(that's all)