Picspam Reaction: Supernatural 8.02
Warning: Contains profanity and referential spoilers for general Sherlock Holmes canon.
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Spoiler and Theory Summary
Title: "What's Up, Tiger Mommy?"
Another example of why titles can be spoilers. This tells me Kevin's mom is still alive, present, and has become significant enough for mention in the title. To my knowledge, Tiger Mom is a term used for parents of overachievers who push their kids extremely hard, sacrificing childhood in exchange for working towards a goal at any cost.
Kevin's mom's a piece of work all right, but I'm still glad she's survived Season 7... or is she a Leviathan now? Kevin's really not having a great time of any of this. Surprised? Not really.
As I mentioned at the end of last reaction post, this is a bit of an experiment, so the timer is running.
Picspam Reaction, with speculation and randomness for Supernatural 8.02 - "What's Up, Tiger Mommy?"
-Skipping the THEN, someone let me know if it was a montage, okay?
-Wahey, hello stock footage of actual Chicago since I really doubt Show's budget is up to second unit work for establishing shots of buildings in cities, and this is clip probably available from their location promo package.
-"Don't worry my dear, I've got plenty of time." On this show, that's like an instant red flag, isn't it. Oh hey, it's him! Ahhh! The mustache and micro-goatee is throwing me off, but he's been in a lot of things, I think.... Probably a Vancouver actor thing. I'm getting Death vibes from him, not sure why. I really hope they haven't replaced Julian Richings, but a reappearance of Death would be awesome. Oh, and "Whoever this guy is" tie report: ...sort of stripish lizardy skin multi-shaded brown and gold... this guy has a LOT going on. *nods*
-"Box number one." This is not getting any more reassuring. Weird brown lumpy objects that flash when you pick them up don't help either.
-"Is there anything else I can help you with today?"/"Why yes, now that I think about it..." And this is where she becomes lunch, right?
-Yup. Chunky red spray. Damn customers. (And their teleporting safety deposit boxes that put themselves away when no one's looking. Shh. It's magic or something. *handwave* No wait, she did put it back herself, handwave withdrawn.)
-Title go boom! There's a kind of resonant tone in the background of the miscellaneous noise there, like the faint lingering note of a really big bell. Hmm.
-"I'd rather not see my mom twisted into a corkscrew." No worries there, if anything, she's been a Leviathan for over a year, if any of her captors had the slightest strategic sense after Dick went 'splodey.
-"My mom's all alone, she's surrounded by demons. Can you really not understand why I want to make sure she's okay?" Yeah, poking Dean and Sam in their mom issues could prompt some results.
-Caaaaaaarrrrrrr!!! Zoom! Hee!
-"She seems okay. Sad but okay." Awwww, Keviiiiiin.
-Repetitive mailman, never a good sign. Wasn't that something that gave Lilith's base away in Season three? Something weird about the mailman? Demons really need to vary their surveillance tactics. Either that or Carl the mailman needs to suck it up and ask Kevin's mom for a date instead of stalking her.
-Hey, now there'd be a trick. Crimp the hose, bless the water inside the pipe, let it loose when the demon points the hose at his face to see where the water went, because the general demon population seems to be that variety of stupid more often than not.
-Written by Andrew Dabb and Daniel Loflin, well-known names now.
-Or disconnect the hose and stab him in the chest when he shows up to find out what happened. Still want to see what the Purgatory blade might do, but covert operations are no place to be packing around an untested-on-demons obsidian blade the size of a racquetball racquet.
-Directed by John F. Showalter, also familiar.
-Looks like the mailman formerly known as Carl is hosting a particularly jumpy demon if his eyes go black at a sudden noise. Not a good reflex for hiding that you're a demon, 'Carl'.
-Yes, 'Eunice', I'm sure you're a demon too, and that your helpful supportive 'so he knows he has a home to come back to' is in essence 'so we know there is a place he's going to try and get to so we can take another bash at controlling him, and thank you so much for co-operating, Mrs. Bait'. But I could be wrong.
-Aw Kevin. Good son, tactical idiot. Not that his mom or girlfriend would necessarily have been any much safer if he'd just written them off completely and disappeared from their lives forever, since the demons would have found a way to make a big noise about having them regardless.
-Kevin's mom is adorably squeaky.
-"She's clean." And now also wet. Hee! Better safe than sorry!
-Oh yes, there's a smart demon. Don't stick around to get killed, go report the situation to the boss.
-GO SAMMY WITH THE SPEED LATIN!!! \o/
-"That's not Eunice." Technically it might have been if the demon had escaped, but... yeah. Things definitely were a lot more simple in Purgatory.
-"Have you ever seen The Exorcist?" Kevin's mom's 'Really? Please' face here is precious.
-"Is that what you've been doing all year? Watching television?" Ah yes, I see mom's priorities are as skewed as ever. *headshake*
-"He needs me to translate a stupid tablet, take over the universe or something." Heeeee.
-"You're taking a trip to a demon-free zone."/"And risk letting Kevin fall into the hands of this 'Crowley' again? I don't think so." Ohhhh dear. This could be, uh. Bizarre. O.o
-"It's not my soul I'm worried about. It's my son's." Aw. I kind of admire her bone-headed obstinacy right now, but seriously, she is so doomed.
-"Hex bags to stay off the bad guy's radar, and uh. You're gonna have to get inked up." HI TATTOO! LONG TIME NO SEE! Oh this should be fun.
-"What? Like it's my first tattoo?" Heeeeeeeeeeee.
-Okay, I just- This. *flails* AWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!
-"How'd you do the reverse exorcism thing."/"Just said the verse backwards." Yeah, I'm echoing Dean's face on that one.
-"You hid the Word of God in a diaper bag?" Why not? The least likely place to hide something is usually the best.
- Someone's been breaking into the lockers, how surprising. Oh and Tie Report: Dean's is striped which is reassuring, but now Sam's gone spotty. Still completely mismatched, at cross-purposes and insulated from each other. You can banter and have teamwork all you want, boys, but until you sit down and actually talk about what exactly you've been up to over the past year, you're still not on the same wavelength. So, yeah, that's not happening any time soon, is it. WINCHESTERS!
-Flashback again. "Oh he knows." Ohhhh dear. Dean got to delve into his Hell-torture training in Purgatory. Do what you have to. Pragmatism. Oh dear. Yeah, he'll be twitching for a long while yet. O.o
-"Where's the angel?" Awwww. But torture... but awwww.
-OH SHIT THE STRIPEY TIE IS COMING OFF AND DEAN IS GONNA TORTURE THIS GUY WITH IT? I CAN'T EVEN TIE REPORT RIGHT NOW GUYS, THE META IS BURNING. 8-O
-Oh god, flashbacks in an interrogation session! (A Rugaru knows Castiel's near a stream and a clearing?) And guy in interrogation room is about crapping himself because there's Good Cop vs Bad Cop, then there's Reasonable Pseudo-Fed vs Psycho-Insane-Torturer-Trained-in-Hell-and-Possibly-Stuck-in-a-Memory-of-Purgatory Pseudo-Fed.
-Random thought, but it seems to me that both targets of Dean's Hell-tuned interrogation abilities did something to end up somewhere they didn't want to be. One raided bus station lockers, the other one ate somebody. possibly several somebodies. Hmm.
-I'm not sure what to make of that interrogation yet in terms of tie reports, but I think it's safe to say that the stripey tie is not sitting well around Dean's neck at the moment, no matter how hard he's trying. (I also get the feeling that things did not go well when he found Castiel, and that for some reason, Castiel has stayed in Purgatory.)
-Red car. Pft. The Impala's prettier because she's comparatively practical, roomy and isn't trying so hard.
-Considering Dean just throttled a guy with his tie and pulled a knife that kills demons on him in a police station, I don't think pawn shop security cameras are going to put him off too much.
-"That your car outside?"/"What's it to you, mail order?" WHOA. Okay, this guy can die anytime now thanks.
-Oooohoohooo. Stand aside, Dean, Kevin's mom's gonna kick this guy's ass. Awesome!
-Kevin's mom's bombardment of bureaucracy is damn impressive (does she work at the DMV?). As is Kevin's on-call knowledge of car blue book values. As is Sam's insta-percentage (which is just a tenth divided by two, but snappily delivered). We're all impressive as hell round here, without drawing magical weapons or ties! \o/
-Ah, a brother in the tax assessor's office, just as good as the DMV. Which of course means Kevin has another family member for Crowley to throw on the barbeque at some point.
-"So what's it gonna be; the tablet or that piece of Euro-trash crap you call a car?" Okay, even though her priorities regarding what her son was doing when he was abducted for a year could use some realignment sometimes, I kind of love Kevin's mom right now.
-And the boys are suitably impressed as well.
-Hey, it's the hotel where Dean ran into the kid in the astronaut costume who egged the Impala! ASTRONAUT! *fistshake*
-"Kevin?" Okay, new guy knows Kevin's name, is probably the guy in the hotel room who bought the tablet and dresses like he's not quite sure how being human in the 21st century works. And he has a pink paisley tie, and paisley was a Dick Roman thing until he started faking it with the overdose of stripes, so alarm bells all around here. Not to mention the hat and cane.
-"Oh relax, Dean, I'm not going to steal your prophet." RED ALERT! THIS GUY KNOWS WAY TOO MUCH!! ALSO THERE IS A HANDKERCHIEF! AND A TIE PIN! SOUND THE KLAXONS!
-His name is Bo and he's attempting to charm Kevin's mom. Or poison her, or possess her with a broken off bit of himself through his spit of who knows what. WHY ARE YOU LETTING HIM TOUCH ANYONE BEFORE YOU DOUSE HIM WITH HOLY WATER AND BORAX AND EVERYTHING ELSE, LET ALONE GET HIS MOUTH NEAR THEM??? O.o
-"An invitation, dear man, to a very exclusive auction." Okay, I do not know what this guy's game is right now, but he's feeling a bit like a ringmaster at the Cirque du Soleil, or something like that, which is really creepy.
-"We have a strict no casting, no cursing, no supernaturally flicking the two of you against the wall just for the fun of it policy." Heeee. But it's Thursday Friday Wednesday, or at least it was when this aired. I will admit, I am mightily intrigued, but also very nervous.
-"I am the right hand of a god. Plutus, specifically." OH YAY, IT'S THE OTHER DEITIES WHO SURVIVED GOT BORED OF SULKING AFTER LUCIFER'S HISSY FIT, AND NOW THEY'RE HAVING A PARTY! \o/ Maybe?
-"Is that even a planet anymore?" Yay, Dean with the astronomy snark, highly appropriate considering he's standing where the astronaut kid egged the Impala.
-Warded against everything, hunh? Yeah, and the Titanic was unsinkable.
-"Hunh." What??? NO SAM. NO. Look somewhere else. Just no. Nooooooooo.
-"Say it and I will kill you, your children, and your grandchildren." Yeah. Plus you are a party of four now and you and your gear won't all fit in a Prius. And the kind of things they trade in at an auction of the gods probably weren't made in a human-run factory in *googles* Janesville, Wisconsin. *crosses arms and nods head*
-Memorizing the spell in the hypothetical Auction display room. "Of course he can swing it, if the bumper stickers on my Previa mean anything." Prius, Previa, *handwave* Good to have that much confidence in your kid, not so good in the pressure department.
-Oh and by the way, guys, has anyone heard of, oh, I dunno, TAKING A PHOTO? Or if they let you get close enough, taking a rubbing? Oh and also, gang of four, I don't know if you've thought this through yet, but has it occurred to any of you that since Kevin's the only one who can read the darn thing, he might not be being invited as a bidder, but as part of the lot to be bid on? You don't sell anything with a lock without making sure the buyer has access to the right key after all. Just sayin'.
-While you're there, you may also want to take a few snapshots of the wall art for later replication. In case there's stuff you haven't seen.
-HA! Security gate. Don't know exactly what it's scanning for but I'm thinking it's going to get to Dean and explode.
-Hee, yep.
-AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAAAHAHAHAAH!! PROOF THAT DEAN CLANKS! XD SO! I see: Holy water flask, flashlight, butterfly knife, shuriken (why doesn't Dean ever use that?) brass knuckles, maybe some sort of wrench or possibly the handle of some bolt cutters, a file or a slim-jim, three guns, a length of chain, a knife (probably Ruby's, or would he have left at in the car in case of confiscation? Looks more daggery than knifey), some sort of wooden rod, loads of other stuff. I want to go fishing in it. *twitchy fingers*
-Oh wait, there's Ruby's knife, the other thing must've been a dagger. (two-edged, not one)
-*splorf* Wait what, I- Oh no. Ha. For a second I thought the guy in yellow and red was Patrick Stewart. O.o
-Heeey, Excalibur, is it?
-Ahahahaha. DaVinci. *headshake*
-Excuse me a second. *gets up from computer, laughing so hard tears are running down and breathing is impossible* Oh man. The legal department probably just loves them for this one. That's Mjölnir, AKA Thor's Hammer, AKA probably under license from Marvel and or Paramount right now, considering the Thor movies, though really, it's part of Norse mythology and that's been out of copyright for, ooo, a millennium, give or take, and it's got the traditional sigil on it rather than the appearing/disappearing triglyph whatever thing from the movie. Still, BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAH XD
-Oh hi guy with the glowy bone/relic in a safety deposit box at the top of the episode, peering intently at Mjölnir. What are you up to? O.o
-Ah hahahahahah. Yeah. If you are selling information, you do not put it on open display, even if no one understands it
-And hello Crowley, of course you're here. It's a party. Kevin's mom's totally gonna beat you up with her purse, you know.
-Or fists. Fists are good. Maybe not in a neutral area though, could be penalties. Still, GO KEVIN'S MOM! \o/
-"Listen to Moose, Squirrel." HAahahahahahah. Rocky and Bullwinkle. He could do a decent Boris Badenov costumer if so inclined too. Making Meg Natasha Fatale? What did happen to Meg anyway? I suspect it isn't pleasant.
-"Nice right hook." Aw, Kevin's mom looks adorably pocket-sized next to Sam. More-so than most people. What is she, barely past five feet tall?
-A representative of Wiener Hut has been invited to the Auction of the assorted deities, critters and badasses? Sure! Why not? Alfie is his name.
-"I knew Castiel." Oooo. Ow. Flashback time?
-"This was the nearest vessel." And an adorable one it is too. "We protect the word of God." Bang up job you're doing there, kid.
-"Awesome job so far, Alfie." Yeah, what he said.
-His name is what? Samandriel? There is apparently a Metal band founded in 2008 in Edmonton called that. Wonder if this is a shout-out?
-"But you escaped, did Castiel..?"/Dean: *stoneface, with swallowing* Awwww, Dean. You're making the adorable Wiener Hut angel cry. Tell him Castiel is okay, he's just... in Purgatory. For some reason. Which I'm guessing we'll get in a very ouchy flash-back very soon.
-"I think too much heart was always Castiel's problem." Oh wibbles. Awwwww. This is going to make what's probably coming soon here so much harder isn't it?
-Oh crap, flashback inbound. Aw, hi Cas. He looks so freaked out. He managed some coherence before the end of season 7, but if that 'avoid conflict' thing kicked in, he's been popping all over Purgatory constantly since then. Or sitting by the river, because no one in Purgatory knows what the heck to do to the angel who ate them.
-Hugs! Only this is another case of 'hugs before misery', isn't it? Damn Winchester hugs, giving hope and happiness just so there's something more to crush.
-"I'm perfectly sane, but then 94% of psychotics think they're perfectly sane, so I guess we'd have to ask ourselves what is sane?" I swear I had this conversation in the first year of college, in the dorm common room at 4 am with a guy who was putting himself through a sleep deprivation experiment for source material for a paper. Either that or a sci-fi convention room party with two Klingons, a vampire and an elf. Still 4 am though. *nods*
-"Why'd you bail on Dean?" Benny the huggable vampire doesn't believe in small talk, I see.
-"Some freak jumped Cas, obviously kicked his ass, right?" And here would be where the hurting starts, yeah?
-"I ran away."/"You ran away?"/"I had to." And there's a solid kick right in Dean's abandonment issues, right? Or at least that's how he'll take it, and there'll be loads of shouting, and then when he gets back to Earth he'll do it all again with Sam. Dean. *headshake*
-Of course the Leviathans are chasing him. "I've been trying to stay one step ahead of them to- to keep them away from you." Ow ow ow. We are just wall-to-wall self-sacrificing lunatics in the extended Winchester family, we are.
-"Cas, buddy, I need you." *flails* Okay, I'm just gonna cap this, because otherwise I'd be transcribing this section verbatim. I just love so much how completely Dean's adopted Castiel as a family member. Leviathans? Let 'em come, we can take 'em. Back to back against the world, the Winchester way. *flails more*
-"Let me bottom line it for you. I'm not leaving here without you. Understand?" *flaaaail*
-"...I understand." ... OH CRAP. IS CASTIEL GOING TO PULL A REICHENBACH TO GET DEAN TO LEAVE WITHOUT HIM??? Or... ooo. Is Benny going to cooperate with Castiel to fake his death or seeming-death in such a way that Dean will move on and get out of Purgatory with Benny (who I keep misspelling as Bunny because it's 3 am) instead of staying there on a permanent Winchesterian 'just kill everything' frothing vengeance quest? Hmmm... O.o
-"Samadriel! Slumming it, are we?" Seriously, this kid is absolutely too freaking cute.
-Come to think of it, maybe it's not Samadriel, maybe it's Samandiriel, who is apparently the angel of fertility, imagination, visualization and creativity. It would make a lot more sense to be named after a previously named angel than being named after an Edmonton Metal band. Maybe. Hard to say on this show. Also the more I see Alfie in his Wiener Hut uniform, the more I wonder if that isn't a Chuck (the TV show, not the prophet) reference.
-Seriously guys, you really think the bids will be in US funds? *headshake*
-"Can't get rid of all of my black-eyed boys, Samantha."/Sam:"Yeah, we'll see." Heee. You aren't the only Samantha in the room right now, Sam.
-"-and a Costco membership." Yeah, don't mind me I'll just be laughing up a lung for a while.
-"Let's start the bidding with three tonnes of dwarven gold?" Hey at least it's still physical wealth. Hey, Amulet of Haephestus rings a bell. Was that the fake one the guy who was sleeping with the skeleton of a witch tried selling them? No, that was the Orb of Thesulah or something like that. Hephaestus is the Greek god of a whole bunch of stuff, primarily volcanoes and smith-related things. Considering one of his spheres of influence is technology, the amulet may even double as a USB drive. Handy!
-"I'm going to use the restroom." It's a meeting of deities and demigods. Will there even be restrooms?
-Oh well isn't that convieeeeenient. It's going to be an auction house heist after all, is it?
-And Dean uses Pickpocket skill! It's surprisingly effective!
-"This isn't the men's room!" Dean uses Fast-Talk skill! It is unsurprisingly total crap!
-Oh well, if it's in grab-and-dash distance...
-"The next item up for bid the Hammer of Thor, Mjölnir." *cackles* and our buddy from the top of the hour who reminds me of Death and has a reliccy bone that glows and eviscerates bank staff is already jumping up and down offering, "A finger-bone from the frost-giant Ymir." *record-scratch* Wait, what??? This Ymir?? Ancestor of all the Jotun? Odin, Vili and Ve made the world out of his body in assorted variable bits, including making Midgaard (where humans live) out of his eyebrows (no, really)? So.... kind of like the tablet, another sort of base-code of creation from a different angle? THERE IS TOO MUCH CRAP POTENTIALLY DEALING WITH WEAVING AND/OR UNWEAVING THE FABRIC OF REALITY ON SALE OR BEING USED AS CURRENCY IN THIS ROOM! IT IS VERY NERVOUS-MAKING! O.o
-"And five eighths of a virgin." Pft. Okay, if that's the girl from the bank, I kind of doubt she was a virgin, though it is possible, but that's not five-eighths of her anyway unless you've got about five more bags that size hanging around somewhere.
-Hahaha, I love Mark Sheppard. Sam's all concerned puppy in the foreground, but in the background Crowley's got some considering eyebrows on. Hee!
-And the old guy just bought Mjölnir. That's not going to be significant later at aaaaaallll.
-"Maybe you should try plan D for Dumbass." Heee. Crowley.
-"The word of God, capital G." Heeeeeeeeeee.
-"Three billion dollars." Yeah, but what's that in dwarven gold?
-Matching faces! Heeee!
-"The Mona Lisa." GO ALFIE THE WIENER HUT ANGEL! Or rather Samandiriel Angel of imagination, eh? The Mona Lisa isn't currently marketed at three billion dollars, but it's a unique item, and I don't think currency is really a measure of worth for the purposes of bidding on things at this auction. Oh, and lighting/set design? Nice hint of pseudo-wing there on the right of the screen.
-"The real Mona Lisa. Where she's topless." Dean's face! XD
-"Vatican city." Whaaaat. People live there. Don't they? I suppose the PTB at the Vatican wouldn't mind if it was for the actual genuine Word of God, but they'd have to spend over a decade in conferences and councils and whatnot deciding if it was the real thing, then deciding whether to put the city up for it. This shortcuts a lot of bureaucracy and spin-doctoring.
-"Alaska." Pft. Good luck with that. "Palin and a bridge to nowhere? No thanks." Heee!
-Actually, considering it's the Greek god of wealth who'd get the bids on the auction items (I'm assuming, or at least on items like the tablet which he or his staff directly acquired)... maybe being reigned over by the god of wealth wouldn't be a bad thing?
-"The moon!"/"You're bidding the moon?!" And then some comments that Buzz Aldrin might punch someone for, since he is known for punching the occasional aggressive 'moon landings were faked' conspiracy moron like in this video from 2009, making him 79 at the time, except Crowley is of course a LIAR and everyone knows it.
-"Our reserve price has not been met-" O.o "So in order to stimulate the bidding we're going to add an item to this lot." OH CRAP, HIDE KEVIN YOU IDIOTS!!
-*facepalm* I TOLD YOU! I TOLD YOU WHEN THE GUY SHOWED UP! THEY'RE A MATCHED SET! I TOLD YOU! And now Kevin's mom's gonna kick everyone's ass. Possibly by grabbing Mjölnir. Because that'd be cool.
-"I'll give you whatever you want. I have a 401k." Oh dear. Not even close.
-"My soul." Crap. Should've gone with the Mjölnir rampage, it would probably have been cleaner.
-"We guard the souls in Heaven, we don't horse-trade them." Well, there's a good sign for the current situation in Heaven at least.
-Alfie is looking unbearably familiar all of a sudden, something about the expression... has he been on Supernatural before? *risks a quick Google* Tyler Johnston. Holy crap, he's the kid from Bugs?! Wow. He grew up well... O.O
-"It's not about the quantity, chief. It's about the sacrifice. This little lady's soul is the most valuable thing she has. It's everything." So Kevin's mom's got the trump card then. Yay? Eek? What happens when you sell your soul to the Greek god of wealth anyway?
-"Are you willing to offer everything, Mr. Crowley?" I really doubt it.
-"I bid my own soul." Dude. Wow. Well, he is determined. Doubt it'll work because seriously, Crowley's been through the Hell treatment, had his soul reduced to grey smoke, and been powering the tatters with the remnants of others for millennia. So not really mint condition there, more of a shop rag. He is definitely determined though.
-Yeah, that's what I thought. Crowley's got a laughable soul. Sad but true.
-"Mr. Crowley, You don't have a soul." Well there is that too. *pats Crowley* Silly goose.
-And the 'So you've sacrificed your soul for a family member' support group has gained a new member. Poor Linda.
-"Will I die?"/"No, you'll just wish you were dead." Yeaaaah, and Sam would know, and there is no point in lying about it or candy-coating it. Ow.
-"You kidding me, we're about to close the gates of Hell forever. You ask me, we got off cheap." There's that sunshiny Purgatory Pragmatism. Oh Dean.
-"Hi, I'm Sa- I'm Alfie. I'm an angel."/"Who works at Wiener Hut?" Heeee. Aw. Hoping Alfie has something to help, doubting he will.
-"The last time angels tried to help my son, I watched them die, and Kevin went missing for a year." She has a very excellent point. Still, angel backup is always handy to have around.
-"Ah, Mjölnir, I've missed you." ...That's not... Thor...? What? No. There has to be something more going on with the old guy and the hammer.
-"Wait!" Okay, I've gone fuzzy. Burn on the arm. Borax burn? Is she a Leviathan after all with really excellent people mimicking skills? Aaaarg, my minds gone blank, I should know this. Something the angel did to her to poison her soul to get at Plutus? I hope not, because Alfie is cool. Lightning burn? Old guy get frisky with Mjölnir in the green room? I should know what this is, dammit!
-Oh well crap. It's where the anti-possession tattoo was burned off. CROWLEY! Dammit! What have you done, Kevin's Mom?? Or is this just Crowley being a bastard and screwing up someone else's deal? Either way arg!
-"Your Girl Friday showed me a few loopholes." SEE! TIE PINS NEVER LIE!
-Oh ow. *cringes away* I am so sorry for thinking you might have been in on this willingly in any way, Kevin's mom. I really need to use her name, what was it, Linda? She's a badass.
-Wait, where the hell did this guy come from? *scans back* No wait, he was there, just standing behind Kevin. Thought this might be reinforcements inbound.
-Yeah, I don't think knifing Kevin's mom in front of him is gong to be a popular solution. You could go for the holy water flask instead maybe, but that'd probably just annoy Crowley.
-"Come and get him."/"One out of two ain't bad. *flees*" CHICKEEEEEEEEENNNNNN! CHICKEN CROWLEY. Oh wow, does this mean the actress playing Kevin's mom is going to be playing Crowley for a while? Because she kind of rocks at being evil, but I'd miss Mark Sheppard too much, I think. Plus, Linda Tran kicks too much ass to be a meat suit for too long.
-UM GUYS, TIE-PIN FLUNKY IS BEHIND YOU WITH A GUN! O.O
-Did Kevin just bodily shove Sam out of the line of fire??? It was blurry, but... Damn. That'd be impressive as hell.
-Hey, the old guy with Mjölnir is still there! Is he gonna do something with it? IS SAM? Sam does have the hair for it! *bounces*
-YEAH!!! \o/
Oh yeah. You just know Jared had a blast swinging around the Hammer of Thor.
-"Okay, give it back." Heee.
-"...Where'd you get the five-eighths of a virgin?" HA! Yeah, kind of a hard one to put a good spin on. Next time, maybe don't bid your lunch leftovers.
-Assuming you get a next time, and you're pulling a "go poof to avoid going splat" here. The guy got far too much sidelong attention for this to be the last we see of him. *nods*
-You guys. The Winchesters have freaking Mjölnir. Mjölnir. Sam's capacity to suck at hand-to-hand combat is going to be severely impaired by this acquisition. Also, sooooo many crossovers. Thor's gonna be pissed.
-In the meantime, Kevin's buggered off and is adding to the impediments to Dean offing Crowley with Ruby's knife. Didn't they already try that once and Crowley was only mildly bothered? Either way, Linda Tran is too badass to get killed here. I'm only surprised she hasn't booted Crowley out herself through sheer force of will.
-Ooo, Crowley's smoke is sort of burgundy, that's a nice touch. He didn't get the tablet then, because it's over against the wall, right?
-Oh come on, Dean! GET IT BEFORE CROWLEY CAN!
-"Surprising what Mommie dearest has rattling around in her head. Wanna know who your real father is?" What?? Okay, this show and the family issues and the bloodlines and all that, I kind of figured when there didn't seem to be an obvious Father Tran on the scene that something like this might be in the offing, but I try not to assume.
-"Run. Run far and run fast, because the Winchesters, they have a habit of using people up and watching them die bloody." Oh that coming from the King of Hell is just funny. And also possibly the most painful thing a demon has said to them in recent times.
-"Has she said anything?" Aw crap she's gone catatonic? That's not good. Understandable, but not good.
-"What your mom went through, it's hell. Trust me, I know." ...actually, Dean's been to Hell, but he's never been possessed, has he? Sam's been there, but Meg thoughtfully seemed to have mostly blanked his memory after because he popped right up afterward like a six foot five amnesiac Weeble.
-"You tried to kill her." Yeaaaah, that'll be a hard one to get past.
-"Kid, in this life-"/"Shut up!" I'll admit it, I cackled.
-So far, Kevin and Linda Tran are about my most favourite new characters since Castiel. I hope they do okay, but I get the feeling that they may not be inclined to stick around with the Winchesters after this little debacle. They may also want to get a backup anti-possession tattoo done in a less visible and more inaccessible location. Just a thought. Assuming someone else doesn't just bounce in and snag them while they are alone and unprotected.
-Come on, guys! There's still crap in the display cases, the auction is over, everyone's buggered off and the auction master and his flunkies are dead, you're stuck waiting around for Kevin to talk his mom out of a coma anyway, so IT'S LOOTING TIME!! I mean, not only the leftovers from the auction that are still lying around, but some of the funky stuff used to bid on things at the auction. That bone from Ymir for example. Could be useful. Not so much the bag of partial virgin though.
-"It would've sucked and I would have hated myself, but what's one more nightmare, right?" *exasperated sigh* I didn't think it was possible, but Dean is even more broken than he was before. Which makes sense because Purgatory, but wow.
-"It seem a little quiet in there to you?" Hahaha. Yeah. I'm guessing quiet is a good sign because if someone came and snagged them, there would have been some kind of shouting or zapping or thuds or things going sproing.
-Ah ha ha, yep. Looks like there's a note on that (conspicuously Crowley-smoke-colored) chair at least, so if they were very quiet kidnappers, at least they're considerate enough to do their taunting in text format.
-'Hate you, hate demons, taking mom, no love, Kevin' Yep. Considering Kevin's personal, if atypical, experience with the mind-blowing unreliability of Sam Winchester and this entire recent mess, them taking off to survive solo is really no surprise.
-"Crowley still does!" Excellent point Sam. A bit late, considering, but still an excellent point.
-"He thinks people I don't need anymore, they end up dead." Combined with a look into the distance that says a whole lot of things now, doesn't it?
-Aaaaaand flashback! Oh crap. That's... hm. Above all things, a very ponder-worthy sequence... Meep! O.O
So yeah. Interesting. And nerve-wracking. On to the next one, last of the catch-up episodes in this batch.
As to the experiment in reaction post method, uh... this was a pretty huge fail in terms of time management for me, and if I hadn't had the day off, this would have taken well over a week of nothing but this in my limited free time, which is ridiculous. Going back to the drawing board for methodology on the last of these catchup posts. *crossing fingers*
(PLEASE, NO REFERENCES TO EPISODES PAST 8.02 IN COMMENTS! ONE MORE TO GO!!)
(Squish time again, images not coded as clickable. Right-click and use the pop-up menu.)
Spoiler and Theory Summary
Title: "What's Up, Tiger Mommy?"
Another example of why titles can be spoilers. This tells me Kevin's mom is still alive, present, and has become significant enough for mention in the title. To my knowledge, Tiger Mom is a term used for parents of overachievers who push their kids extremely hard, sacrificing childhood in exchange for working towards a goal at any cost.
Kevin's mom's a piece of work all right, but I'm still glad she's survived Season 7... or is she a Leviathan now? Kevin's really not having a great time of any of this. Surprised? Not really.
As I mentioned at the end of last reaction post, this is a bit of an experiment, so the timer is running.
Picspam Reaction, with speculation and randomness for Supernatural 8.02 - "What's Up, Tiger Mommy?"
-Skipping the THEN, someone let me know if it was a montage, okay?
-Wahey, hello stock footage of actual Chicago since I really doubt Show's budget is up to second unit work for establishing shots of buildings in cities, and this is clip probably available from their location promo package.
-"Don't worry my dear, I've got plenty of time." On this show, that's like an instant red flag, isn't it. Oh hey, it's him! Ahhh! The mustache and micro-goatee is throwing me off, but he's been in a lot of things, I think.... Probably a Vancouver actor thing. I'm getting Death vibes from him, not sure why. I really hope they haven't replaced Julian Richings, but a reappearance of Death would be awesome. Oh, and "Whoever this guy is" tie report: ...sort of stripish lizardy skin multi-shaded brown and gold... this guy has a LOT going on. *nods*
-"Box number one." This is not getting any more reassuring. Weird brown lumpy objects that flash when you pick them up don't help either.
-"Is there anything else I can help you with today?"/"Why yes, now that I think about it..." And this is where she becomes lunch, right?
-Yup. Chunky red spray. Damn customers. (And their teleporting safety deposit boxes that put themselves away when no one's looking. Shh. It's magic or something. *handwave* No wait, she did put it back herself, handwave withdrawn.)
-Title go boom! There's a kind of resonant tone in the background of the miscellaneous noise there, like the faint lingering note of a really big bell. Hmm.
-"I'd rather not see my mom twisted into a corkscrew." No worries there, if anything, she's been a Leviathan for over a year, if any of her captors had the slightest strategic sense after Dick went 'splodey.
-"My mom's all alone, she's surrounded by demons. Can you really not understand why I want to make sure she's okay?" Yeah, poking Dean and Sam in their mom issues could prompt some results.
-Caaaaaaarrrrrrr!!! Zoom! Hee!
-"She seems okay. Sad but okay." Awwww, Keviiiiiin.
-Repetitive mailman, never a good sign. Wasn't that something that gave Lilith's base away in Season three? Something weird about the mailman? Demons really need to vary their surveillance tactics. Either that or Carl the mailman needs to suck it up and ask Kevin's mom for a date instead of stalking her.
-Hey, now there'd be a trick. Crimp the hose, bless the water inside the pipe, let it loose when the demon points the hose at his face to see where the water went, because the general demon population seems to be that variety of stupid more often than not.
-Written by Andrew Dabb and Daniel Loflin, well-known names now.
-Or disconnect the hose and stab him in the chest when he shows up to find out what happened. Still want to see what the Purgatory blade might do, but covert operations are no place to be packing around an untested-on-demons obsidian blade the size of a racquetball racquet.
-Directed by John F. Showalter, also familiar.
-Looks like the mailman formerly known as Carl is hosting a particularly jumpy demon if his eyes go black at a sudden noise. Not a good reflex for hiding that you're a demon, 'Carl'.
-Yes, 'Eunice', I'm sure you're a demon too, and that your helpful supportive 'so he knows he has a home to come back to' is in essence 'so we know there is a place he's going to try and get to so we can take another bash at controlling him, and thank you so much for co-operating, Mrs. Bait'. But I could be wrong.
-Aw Kevin. Good son, tactical idiot. Not that his mom or girlfriend would necessarily have been any much safer if he'd just written them off completely and disappeared from their lives forever, since the demons would have found a way to make a big noise about having them regardless.
-Kevin's mom is adorably squeaky.
-"She's clean." And now also wet. Hee! Better safe than sorry!
-Oh yes, there's a smart demon. Don't stick around to get killed, go report the situation to the boss.
-GO SAMMY WITH THE SPEED LATIN!!! \o/
-"That's not Eunice." Technically it might have been if the demon had escaped, but... yeah. Things definitely were a lot more simple in Purgatory.
-"Have you ever seen The Exorcist?" Kevin's mom's 'Really? Please' face here is precious.
-"Is that what you've been doing all year? Watching television?" Ah yes, I see mom's priorities are as skewed as ever. *headshake*
-"He needs me to translate a stupid tablet, take over the universe or something." Heeeee.
-"You're taking a trip to a demon-free zone."/"And risk letting Kevin fall into the hands of this 'Crowley' again? I don't think so." Ohhhh dear. This could be, uh. Bizarre. O.o
-"It's not my soul I'm worried about. It's my son's." Aw. I kind of admire her bone-headed obstinacy right now, but seriously, she is so doomed.
-"Hex bags to stay off the bad guy's radar, and uh. You're gonna have to get inked up." HI TATTOO! LONG TIME NO SEE! Oh this should be fun.
-"What? Like it's my first tattoo?" Heeeeeeeeeeee.
-Okay, I just- This. *flails* AWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!
-"How'd you do the reverse exorcism thing."/"Just said the verse backwards." Yeah, I'm echoing Dean's face on that one.
-"You hid the Word of God in a diaper bag?" Why not? The least likely place to hide something is usually the best.
- Someone's been breaking into the lockers, how surprising. Oh and Tie Report: Dean's is striped which is reassuring, but now Sam's gone spotty. Still completely mismatched, at cross-purposes and insulated from each other. You can banter and have teamwork all you want, boys, but until you sit down and actually talk about what exactly you've been up to over the past year, you're still not on the same wavelength. So, yeah, that's not happening any time soon, is it. WINCHESTERS!
-Flashback again. "Oh he knows." Ohhhh dear. Dean got to delve into his Hell-torture training in Purgatory. Do what you have to. Pragmatism. Oh dear. Yeah, he'll be twitching for a long while yet. O.o
-"Where's the angel?" Awwww. But torture... but awwww.
-OH SHIT THE STRIPEY TIE IS COMING OFF AND DEAN IS GONNA TORTURE THIS GUY WITH IT? I CAN'T EVEN TIE REPORT RIGHT NOW GUYS, THE META IS BURNING. 8-O
-Oh god, flashbacks in an interrogation session! (A Rugaru knows Castiel's near a stream and a clearing?) And guy in interrogation room is about crapping himself because there's Good Cop vs Bad Cop, then there's Reasonable Pseudo-Fed vs Psycho-Insane-Torturer-Trained-in-Hell-and-Possibly-Stuck-in-a-Memory-of-Purgatory Pseudo-Fed.
-Random thought, but it seems to me that both targets of Dean's Hell-tuned interrogation abilities did something to end up somewhere they didn't want to be. One raided bus station lockers, the other one ate somebody. possibly several somebodies. Hmm.
-I'm not sure what to make of that interrogation yet in terms of tie reports, but I think it's safe to say that the stripey tie is not sitting well around Dean's neck at the moment, no matter how hard he's trying. (I also get the feeling that things did not go well when he found Castiel, and that for some reason, Castiel has stayed in Purgatory.)
-Red car. Pft. The Impala's prettier because she's comparatively practical, roomy and isn't trying so hard.
-Considering Dean just throttled a guy with his tie and pulled a knife that kills demons on him in a police station, I don't think pawn shop security cameras are going to put him off too much.
-"That your car outside?"/"What's it to you, mail order?" WHOA. Okay, this guy can die anytime now thanks.
-Oooohoohooo. Stand aside, Dean, Kevin's mom's gonna kick this guy's ass. Awesome!
-Kevin's mom's bombardment of bureaucracy is damn impressive (does she work at the DMV?). As is Kevin's on-call knowledge of car blue book values. As is Sam's insta-percentage (which is just a tenth divided by two, but snappily delivered). We're all impressive as hell round here, without drawing magical weapons or ties! \o/
-Ah, a brother in the tax assessor's office, just as good as the DMV. Which of course means Kevin has another family member for Crowley to throw on the barbeque at some point.
-"So what's it gonna be; the tablet or that piece of Euro-trash crap you call a car?" Okay, even though her priorities regarding what her son was doing when he was abducted for a year could use some realignment sometimes, I kind of love Kevin's mom right now.
-And the boys are suitably impressed as well.
-Hey, it's the hotel where Dean ran into the kid in the astronaut costume who egged the Impala! ASTRONAUT! *fistshake*
-"Kevin?" Okay, new guy knows Kevin's name, is probably the guy in the hotel room who bought the tablet and dresses like he's not quite sure how being human in the 21st century works. And he has a pink paisley tie, and paisley was a Dick Roman thing until he started faking it with the overdose of stripes, so alarm bells all around here. Not to mention the hat and cane.
-"Oh relax, Dean, I'm not going to steal your prophet." RED ALERT! THIS GUY KNOWS WAY TOO MUCH!! ALSO THERE IS A HANDKERCHIEF! AND A TIE PIN! SOUND THE KLAXONS!
-His name is Bo and he's attempting to charm Kevin's mom. Or poison her, or possess her with a broken off bit of himself through his spit of who knows what. WHY ARE YOU LETTING HIM TOUCH ANYONE BEFORE YOU DOUSE HIM WITH HOLY WATER AND BORAX AND EVERYTHING ELSE, LET ALONE GET HIS MOUTH NEAR THEM??? O.o
-"An invitation, dear man, to a very exclusive auction." Okay, I do not know what this guy's game is right now, but he's feeling a bit like a ringmaster at the Cirque du Soleil, or something like that, which is really creepy.
-"We have a strict no casting, no cursing, no supernaturally flicking the two of you against the wall just for the fun of it policy." Heeee. But it's Thursday Friday Wednesday, or at least it was when this aired. I will admit, I am mightily intrigued, but also very nervous.
-"I am the right hand of a god. Plutus, specifically." OH YAY, IT'S THE OTHER DEITIES WHO SURVIVED GOT BORED OF SULKING AFTER LUCIFER'S HISSY FIT, AND NOW THEY'RE HAVING A PARTY! \o/ Maybe?
-"Is that even a planet anymore?" Yay, Dean with the astronomy snark, highly appropriate considering he's standing where the astronaut kid egged the Impala.
-Warded against everything, hunh? Yeah, and the Titanic was unsinkable.
-"Hunh." What??? NO SAM. NO. Look somewhere else. Just no. Nooooooooo.
-"Say it and I will kill you, your children, and your grandchildren." Yeah. Plus you are a party of four now and you and your gear won't all fit in a Prius. And the kind of things they trade in at an auction of the gods probably weren't made in a human-run factory in *googles* Janesville, Wisconsin. *crosses arms and nods head*
-Memorizing the spell in the hypothetical Auction display room. "Of course he can swing it, if the bumper stickers on my Previa mean anything." Prius, Previa, *handwave* Good to have that much confidence in your kid, not so good in the pressure department.
-Oh and by the way, guys, has anyone heard of, oh, I dunno, TAKING A PHOTO? Or if they let you get close enough, taking a rubbing? Oh and also, gang of four, I don't know if you've thought this through yet, but has it occurred to any of you that since Kevin's the only one who can read the darn thing, he might not be being invited as a bidder, but as part of the lot to be bid on? You don't sell anything with a lock without making sure the buyer has access to the right key after all. Just sayin'.
-While you're there, you may also want to take a few snapshots of the wall art for later replication. In case there's stuff you haven't seen.
-HA! Security gate. Don't know exactly what it's scanning for but I'm thinking it's going to get to Dean and explode.
-Hee, yep.
-AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAAAHAHAHAAH!! PROOF THAT DEAN CLANKS! XD SO! I see: Holy water flask, flashlight, butterfly knife, shuriken (why doesn't Dean ever use that?) brass knuckles, maybe some sort of wrench or possibly the handle of some bolt cutters, a file or a slim-jim, three guns, a length of chain, a knife (probably Ruby's, or would he have left at in the car in case of confiscation? Looks more daggery than knifey), some sort of wooden rod, loads of other stuff. I want to go fishing in it. *twitchy fingers*
-Oh wait, there's Ruby's knife, the other thing must've been a dagger. (two-edged, not one)
-*splorf* Wait what, I- Oh no. Ha. For a second I thought the guy in yellow and red was Patrick Stewart. O.o
-Heeey, Excalibur, is it?
-Ahahahaha. DaVinci. *headshake*
-Excuse me a second. *gets up from computer, laughing so hard tears are running down and breathing is impossible* Oh man. The legal department probably just loves them for this one. That's Mjölnir, AKA Thor's Hammer, AKA probably under license from Marvel and or Paramount right now, considering the Thor movies, though really, it's part of Norse mythology and that's been out of copyright for, ooo, a millennium, give or take, and it's got the traditional sigil on it rather than the appearing/disappearing triglyph whatever thing from the movie. Still, BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAH XD
-Oh hi guy with the glowy bone/relic in a safety deposit box at the top of the episode, peering intently at Mjölnir. What are you up to? O.o
-Ah hahahahahah. Yeah. If you are selling information, you do not put it on open display, even if no one understands it
-And hello Crowley, of course you're here. It's a party. Kevin's mom's totally gonna beat you up with her purse, you know.
-Or fists. Fists are good. Maybe not in a neutral area though, could be penalties. Still, GO KEVIN'S MOM! \o/
-"Listen to Moose, Squirrel." HAahahahahahah. Rocky and Bullwinkle. He could do a decent Boris Badenov costumer if so inclined too. Making Meg Natasha Fatale? What did happen to Meg anyway? I suspect it isn't pleasant.
-"Nice right hook." Aw, Kevin's mom looks adorably pocket-sized next to Sam. More-so than most people. What is she, barely past five feet tall?
-A representative of Wiener Hut has been invited to the Auction of the assorted deities, critters and badasses? Sure! Why not? Alfie is his name.
-"I knew Castiel." Oooo. Ow. Flashback time?
-"This was the nearest vessel." And an adorable one it is too. "We protect the word of God." Bang up job you're doing there, kid.
-"Awesome job so far, Alfie." Yeah, what he said.
-His name is what? Samandriel? There is apparently a Metal band founded in 2008 in Edmonton called that. Wonder if this is a shout-out?
-"But you escaped, did Castiel..?"/Dean: *stoneface, with swallowing* Awwww, Dean. You're making the adorable Wiener Hut angel cry. Tell him Castiel is okay, he's just... in Purgatory. For some reason. Which I'm guessing we'll get in a very ouchy flash-back very soon.
-"I think too much heart was always Castiel's problem." Oh wibbles. Awwwww. This is going to make what's probably coming soon here so much harder isn't it?
-Oh crap, flashback inbound. Aw, hi Cas. He looks so freaked out. He managed some coherence before the end of season 7, but if that 'avoid conflict' thing kicked in, he's been popping all over Purgatory constantly since then. Or sitting by the river, because no one in Purgatory knows what the heck to do to the angel who ate them.
-Hugs! Only this is another case of 'hugs before misery', isn't it? Damn Winchester hugs, giving hope and happiness just so there's something more to crush.
-"I'm perfectly sane, but then 94% of psychotics think they're perfectly sane, so I guess we'd have to ask ourselves what is sane?" I swear I had this conversation in the first year of college, in the dorm common room at 4 am with a guy who was putting himself through a sleep deprivation experiment for source material for a paper. Either that or a sci-fi convention room party with two Klingons, a vampire and an elf. Still 4 am though. *nods*
-"Why'd you bail on Dean?" Benny the huggable vampire doesn't believe in small talk, I see.
-"Some freak jumped Cas, obviously kicked his ass, right?" And here would be where the hurting starts, yeah?
-"I ran away."/"You ran away?"/"I had to." And there's a solid kick right in Dean's abandonment issues, right? Or at least that's how he'll take it, and there'll be loads of shouting, and then when he gets back to Earth he'll do it all again with Sam. Dean. *headshake*
-Of course the Leviathans are chasing him. "I've been trying to stay one step ahead of them to- to keep them away from you." Ow ow ow. We are just wall-to-wall self-sacrificing lunatics in the extended Winchester family, we are.
-"Cas, buddy, I need you." *flails* Okay, I'm just gonna cap this, because otherwise I'd be transcribing this section verbatim. I just love so much how completely Dean's adopted Castiel as a family member. Leviathans? Let 'em come, we can take 'em. Back to back against the world, the Winchester way. *flails more*
-"Let me bottom line it for you. I'm not leaving here without you. Understand?" *flaaaail*
-"...I understand." ... OH CRAP. IS CASTIEL GOING TO PULL A REICHENBACH TO GET DEAN TO LEAVE WITHOUT HIM??? Or... ooo. Is Benny going to cooperate with Castiel to fake his death or seeming-death in such a way that Dean will move on and get out of Purgatory with Benny (who I keep misspelling as Bunny because it's 3 am) instead of staying there on a permanent Winchesterian 'just kill everything' frothing vengeance quest? Hmmm... O.o
-"Samadriel! Slumming it, are we?" Seriously, this kid is absolutely too freaking cute.
-Come to think of it, maybe it's not Samadriel, maybe it's Samandiriel, who is apparently the angel of fertility, imagination, visualization and creativity. It would make a lot more sense to be named after a previously named angel than being named after an Edmonton Metal band. Maybe. Hard to say on this show. Also the more I see Alfie in his Wiener Hut uniform, the more I wonder if that isn't a Chuck (the TV show, not the prophet) reference.
-Seriously guys, you really think the bids will be in US funds? *headshake*
-"Can't get rid of all of my black-eyed boys, Samantha."/Sam:"Yeah, we'll see." Heee. You aren't the only Samantha in the room right now, Sam.
-"-and a Costco membership." Yeah, don't mind me I'll just be laughing up a lung for a while.
-"Let's start the bidding with three tonnes of dwarven gold?" Hey at least it's still physical wealth. Hey, Amulet of Haephestus rings a bell. Was that the fake one the guy who was sleeping with the skeleton of a witch tried selling them? No, that was the Orb of Thesulah or something like that. Hephaestus is the Greek god of a whole bunch of stuff, primarily volcanoes and smith-related things. Considering one of his spheres of influence is technology, the amulet may even double as a USB drive. Handy!
-"I'm going to use the restroom." It's a meeting of deities and demigods. Will there even be restrooms?
-Oh well isn't that convieeeeenient. It's going to be an auction house heist after all, is it?
-And Dean uses Pickpocket skill! It's surprisingly effective!
-"This isn't the men's room!" Dean uses Fast-Talk skill! It is unsurprisingly total crap!
-Oh well, if it's in grab-and-dash distance...
-"The next item up for bid the Hammer of Thor, Mjölnir." *cackles* and our buddy from the top of the hour who reminds me of Death and has a reliccy bone that glows and eviscerates bank staff is already jumping up and down offering, "A finger-bone from the frost-giant Ymir." *record-scratch* Wait, what??? This Ymir?? Ancestor of all the Jotun? Odin, Vili and Ve made the world out of his body in assorted variable bits, including making Midgaard (where humans live) out of his eyebrows (no, really)? So.... kind of like the tablet, another sort of base-code of creation from a different angle? THERE IS TOO MUCH CRAP POTENTIALLY DEALING WITH WEAVING AND/OR UNWEAVING THE FABRIC OF REALITY ON SALE OR BEING USED AS CURRENCY IN THIS ROOM! IT IS VERY NERVOUS-MAKING! O.o
-"And five eighths of a virgin." Pft. Okay, if that's the girl from the bank, I kind of doubt she was a virgin, though it is possible, but that's not five-eighths of her anyway unless you've got about five more bags that size hanging around somewhere.
-Hahaha, I love Mark Sheppard. Sam's all concerned puppy in the foreground, but in the background Crowley's got some considering eyebrows on. Hee!
-And the old guy just bought Mjölnir. That's not going to be significant later at aaaaaallll.
-"Maybe you should try plan D for Dumbass." Heee. Crowley.
-"The word of God, capital G." Heeeeeeeeeee.
-"Three billion dollars." Yeah, but what's that in dwarven gold?
-Matching faces! Heeee!
-"The Mona Lisa." GO ALFIE THE WIENER HUT ANGEL! Or rather Samandiriel Angel of imagination, eh? The Mona Lisa isn't currently marketed at three billion dollars, but it's a unique item, and I don't think currency is really a measure of worth for the purposes of bidding on things at this auction. Oh, and lighting/set design? Nice hint of pseudo-wing there on the right of the screen.
-"The real Mona Lisa. Where she's topless." Dean's face! XD
-"Vatican city." Whaaaat. People live there. Don't they? I suppose the PTB at the Vatican wouldn't mind if it was for the actual genuine Word of God, but they'd have to spend over a decade in conferences and councils and whatnot deciding if it was the real thing, then deciding whether to put the city up for it. This shortcuts a lot of bureaucracy and spin-doctoring.
-"Alaska." Pft. Good luck with that. "Palin and a bridge to nowhere? No thanks." Heee!
-Actually, considering it's the Greek god of wealth who'd get the bids on the auction items (I'm assuming, or at least on items like the tablet which he or his staff directly acquired)... maybe being reigned over by the god of wealth wouldn't be a bad thing?
-"The moon!"/"You're bidding the moon?!" And then some comments that Buzz Aldrin might punch someone for, since he is known for punching the occasional aggressive 'moon landings were faked' conspiracy moron like in this video from 2009, making him 79 at the time, except Crowley is of course a LIAR and everyone knows it.
-"Our reserve price has not been met-" O.o "So in order to stimulate the bidding we're going to add an item to this lot." OH CRAP, HIDE KEVIN YOU IDIOTS!!
-*facepalm* I TOLD YOU! I TOLD YOU WHEN THE GUY SHOWED UP! THEY'RE A MATCHED SET! I TOLD YOU! And now Kevin's mom's gonna kick everyone's ass. Possibly by grabbing Mjölnir. Because that'd be cool.
-"I'll give you whatever you want. I have a 401k." Oh dear. Not even close.
-"My soul." Crap. Should've gone with the Mjölnir rampage, it would probably have been cleaner.
-"We guard the souls in Heaven, we don't horse-trade them." Well, there's a good sign for the current situation in Heaven at least.
-Alfie is looking unbearably familiar all of a sudden, something about the expression... has he been on Supernatural before? *risks a quick Google* Tyler Johnston. Holy crap, he's the kid from Bugs?! Wow. He grew up well... O.O
-"It's not about the quantity, chief. It's about the sacrifice. This little lady's soul is the most valuable thing she has. It's everything." So Kevin's mom's got the trump card then. Yay? Eek? What happens when you sell your soul to the Greek god of wealth anyway?
-"Are you willing to offer everything, Mr. Crowley?" I really doubt it.
-"I bid my own soul." Dude. Wow. Well, he is determined. Doubt it'll work because seriously, Crowley's been through the Hell treatment, had his soul reduced to grey smoke, and been powering the tatters with the remnants of others for millennia. So not really mint condition there, more of a shop rag. He is definitely determined though.
-Yeah, that's what I thought. Crowley's got a laughable soul. Sad but true.
-"Mr. Crowley, You don't have a soul." Well there is that too. *pats Crowley* Silly goose.
-And the 'So you've sacrificed your soul for a family member' support group has gained a new member. Poor Linda.
-"Will I die?"/"No, you'll just wish you were dead." Yeaaaah, and Sam would know, and there is no point in lying about it or candy-coating it. Ow.
-"You kidding me, we're about to close the gates of Hell forever. You ask me, we got off cheap." There's that sunshiny Purgatory Pragmatism. Oh Dean.
-"Hi, I'm Sa- I'm Alfie. I'm an angel."/"Who works at Wiener Hut?" Heeee. Aw. Hoping Alfie has something to help, doubting he will.
-"The last time angels tried to help my son, I watched them die, and Kevin went missing for a year." She has a very excellent point. Still, angel backup is always handy to have around.
-"Ah, Mjölnir, I've missed you." ...That's not... Thor...? What? No. There has to be something more going on with the old guy and the hammer.
-"Wait!" Okay, I've gone fuzzy. Burn on the arm. Borax burn? Is she a Leviathan after all with really excellent people mimicking skills? Aaaarg, my minds gone blank, I should know this. Something the angel did to her to poison her soul to get at Plutus? I hope not, because Alfie is cool. Lightning burn? Old guy get frisky with Mjölnir in the green room? I should know what this is, dammit!
-Oh well crap. It's where the anti-possession tattoo was burned off. CROWLEY! Dammit! What have you done, Kevin's Mom?? Or is this just Crowley being a bastard and screwing up someone else's deal? Either way arg!
-"Your Girl Friday showed me a few loopholes." SEE! TIE PINS NEVER LIE!
-Oh ow. *cringes away* I am so sorry for thinking you might have been in on this willingly in any way, Kevin's mom. I really need to use her name, what was it, Linda? She's a badass.
-Wait, where the hell did this guy come from? *scans back* No wait, he was there, just standing behind Kevin. Thought this might be reinforcements inbound.
-Yeah, I don't think knifing Kevin's mom in front of him is gong to be a popular solution. You could go for the holy water flask instead maybe, but that'd probably just annoy Crowley.
-"Come and get him."/"One out of two ain't bad. *flees*" CHICKEEEEEEEEENNNNNN! CHICKEN CROWLEY. Oh wow, does this mean the actress playing Kevin's mom is going to be playing Crowley for a while? Because she kind of rocks at being evil, but I'd miss Mark Sheppard too much, I think. Plus, Linda Tran kicks too much ass to be a meat suit for too long.
-UM GUYS, TIE-PIN FLUNKY IS BEHIND YOU WITH A GUN! O.O
-Did Kevin just bodily shove Sam out of the line of fire??? It was blurry, but... Damn. That'd be impressive as hell.
-Hey, the old guy with Mjölnir is still there! Is he gonna do something with it? IS SAM? Sam does have the hair for it! *bounces*
-YEAH!!! \o/
Oh yeah. You just know Jared had a blast swinging around the Hammer of Thor.
-"Okay, give it back." Heee.
-"...Where'd you get the five-eighths of a virgin?" HA! Yeah, kind of a hard one to put a good spin on. Next time, maybe don't bid your lunch leftovers.
-Assuming you get a next time, and you're pulling a "go poof to avoid going splat" here. The guy got far too much sidelong attention for this to be the last we see of him. *nods*
-You guys. The Winchesters have freaking Mjölnir. Mjölnir. Sam's capacity to suck at hand-to-hand combat is going to be severely impaired by this acquisition. Also, sooooo many crossovers. Thor's gonna be pissed.
-In the meantime, Kevin's buggered off and is adding to the impediments to Dean offing Crowley with Ruby's knife. Didn't they already try that once and Crowley was only mildly bothered? Either way, Linda Tran is too badass to get killed here. I'm only surprised she hasn't booted Crowley out herself through sheer force of will.
-Ooo, Crowley's smoke is sort of burgundy, that's a nice touch. He didn't get the tablet then, because it's over against the wall, right?
-Oh come on, Dean! GET IT BEFORE CROWLEY CAN!
-"Surprising what Mommie dearest has rattling around in her head. Wanna know who your real father is?" What?? Okay, this show and the family issues and the bloodlines and all that, I kind of figured when there didn't seem to be an obvious Father Tran on the scene that something like this might be in the offing, but I try not to assume.
-"Run. Run far and run fast, because the Winchesters, they have a habit of using people up and watching them die bloody." Oh that coming from the King of Hell is just funny. And also possibly the most painful thing a demon has said to them in recent times.
-"Has she said anything?" Aw crap she's gone catatonic? That's not good. Understandable, but not good.
-"What your mom went through, it's hell. Trust me, I know." ...actually, Dean's been to Hell, but he's never been possessed, has he? Sam's been there, but Meg thoughtfully seemed to have mostly blanked his memory after because he popped right up afterward like a six foot five amnesiac Weeble.
-"You tried to kill her." Yeaaaah, that'll be a hard one to get past.
-"Kid, in this life-"/"Shut up!" I'll admit it, I cackled.
-So far, Kevin and Linda Tran are about my most favourite new characters since Castiel. I hope they do okay, but I get the feeling that they may not be inclined to stick around with the Winchesters after this little debacle. They may also want to get a backup anti-possession tattoo done in a less visible and more inaccessible location. Just a thought. Assuming someone else doesn't just bounce in and snag them while they are alone and unprotected.
-Come on, guys! There's still crap in the display cases, the auction is over, everyone's buggered off and the auction master and his flunkies are dead, you're stuck waiting around for Kevin to talk his mom out of a coma anyway, so IT'S LOOTING TIME!! I mean, not only the leftovers from the auction that are still lying around, but some of the funky stuff used to bid on things at the auction. That bone from Ymir for example. Could be useful. Not so much the bag of partial virgin though.
-"It would've sucked and I would have hated myself, but what's one more nightmare, right?" *exasperated sigh* I didn't think it was possible, but Dean is even more broken than he was before. Which makes sense because Purgatory, but wow.
-"It seem a little quiet in there to you?" Hahaha. Yeah. I'm guessing quiet is a good sign because if someone came and snagged them, there would have been some kind of shouting or zapping or thuds or things going sproing.
-Ah ha ha, yep. Looks like there's a note on that (conspicuously Crowley-smoke-colored) chair at least, so if they were very quiet kidnappers, at least they're considerate enough to do their taunting in text format.
-'Hate you, hate demons, taking mom, no love, Kevin' Yep. Considering Kevin's personal, if atypical, experience with the mind-blowing unreliability of Sam Winchester and this entire recent mess, them taking off to survive solo is really no surprise.
-"Crowley still does!" Excellent point Sam. A bit late, considering, but still an excellent point.
-"He thinks people I don't need anymore, they end up dead." Combined with a look into the distance that says a whole lot of things now, doesn't it?
-Aaaaaand flashback! Oh crap. That's... hm. Above all things, a very ponder-worthy sequence... Meep! O.O
So yeah. Interesting. And nerve-wracking. On to the next one, last of the catch-up episodes in this batch.
As to the experiment in reaction post method, uh... this was a pretty huge fail in terms of time management for me, and if I hadn't had the day off, this would have taken well over a week of nothing but this in my limited free time, which is ridiculous. Going back to the drawing board for methodology on the last of these catchup posts. *crossing fingers*
(PLEASE, NO REFERENCES TO EPISODES PAST 8.02 IN COMMENTS! ONE MORE TO GO!!)