Picspam Reaction/Recap: Sherlock Series 3 Episode 2 (Part 3 of 5)
WARNING: CONTAINS IMAGES AND DETAILS OF THE SHERLOCK SERIES 3 SECOND EPISODE. If you are not watching Sherlock Series 3 at UK pace, this post is CHOCK FULL OF SPOILERS. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.
Picspam Reaction for Sherlock Series 3 Episode 2 - Part 3
PART ONE
PART TWO
PART THREE - "The Sign of Three"
-*gleee!* John's using his Captain's ID again! \o/
-And speaking of yet another shape my personal Hell is likely to take, having random strangers in my personal space, taking pictures or otherwise, and not being allowed to do a damn thing about it.
-Ah, yes, I've seen this bench in photos too. "Afferent neurons in the peripheral nervous system." And Sherlock takes notice as John starts speaking science at him. *glee*
-"Your previous commander, Sholto." Ah, what better way to while away an hour waiting for someone than a little casual interrogation.
-"Previous commander?"/"I meant ex."/"Previous suggests that I currently have a commander."/"Which you don't."/"Which I don't."/"*micro-smirk* Of course you don't." *flails and makes drunken monkey noises*
-*winces at the tragic history of Major Sholto* Basically, took out a unit of new kids, was the sole survivor, and on top of the massive guilt that must bring, the media and families despise him and blame him. Yeowch. That's a pretty compelling set of reasons to become a recluse.
-"He gets more death threats than you."/"Oh I wouldn't count on that." O.o
And another O.o because people with a grievance against Major Sholto are yet another threat vector for bad things to happen at John and Mary's wedding (which we are after all still at), particularly if he's normally hidden away. There had better be a perimeter set up at that event, that's all I'm saying.
-"I'm... chatting. ...Won't be trying that again." Heee!
-"You know it won't alter anything, right? Me and Mary? Getting married?" And the tiny little breath Sherlock takes there. Kind of bracing himself, or is it a bit of relief? Or both? His hands and fingers start doing some agitated flexing there too though as the subject is brought up... Aw. *pats Sherlock*
-"Wasn't worried." Buuuuuuuullllllshiiiiiiit. Hee.
-"That's the thing about Mary. She has completely turned my life around. Changed everything." Awww. *flails* (And what do you want to bet Sherlock's buggered off?)
-"But for the record over the last few years there are two people who have done that and the other one is-" Ahahahaahah, yep. He is on a case after all. Randomly disappearing to do case-type things when he gets an idea is de rigueur. Especially if the alternative is a conversation about feelings and sentimental stuff. Though I hope that's all it was, and not him being distressed by John talking about Mary and thinking John was reversing his earlier statement about nothing changing by saying that Mary changed everything. Aww.
-"-a complete dickhead." AHAHAHAHAHAHA. That too. XD
-PFFFFFFFT!!!!! No way would that ever not get noticed. Ah. Except by the fellow they talked to earlier, who only sees the hats going by from his window, and that's if he's looking. Still, doubt the Guard would be willing to loan Sherlock a hat and let him walk in behind them like everything's normal. Hm. That aside, Sherlock doesn't want the guy who they talked to before to know he's there. The guy (who I don't think we got a rank for yet, though less than Captain, given the 'sir') did seem a little odd earlier, but not much more than any senior officer would be at a social visit by civvies for one of his junior personnel during duty hours.
-I don't know why Sherlock pausing to ruffle away his hat-hair is making me laugh so hard, but it is.
-Hard to lurk effectively when you're in a building full of khaki and bright red and you're wearing a big black dramatic coat.
-Rather tiny rec room for a guard of 40, isn't it?
-And rather dramatic, imminent-doomy music for the changing of the Guard. John's not on the bench anymore, wonder where he's gone, and we haven't seen the stalker, but the music is making me think something nasty is about to happen. *eyes 'Bloody Guardsman' case title*
-Ah, that's where John's gone. The sane logical location of the CO's office rather than skulking around an active military barracks without a pass while wearing a dramatic coat.
-"Nothing's personal when it concerns my troops." That could be 'sign of good commander/what effects one affects all' or 'creepy over-involvement' and it's hitting right in the middle for me at the moment, which is probably deliberate as it adds to the 'what the heck is going on' atmosphere.
-Concern that John's with the press could be seen as having something to hide, or could be the standard large organization dread of the press spinning perfectly standard and rational things however best sells their product, especially considering the Royal connection as mentioned. Still treading that line of interpretation *nods*.
-"Captain John Watson, Fifth Northumberland Fusiliers." *grins all over*
-"Retired." Well someone actually read the full ID. That's why you don't let them see it except as a flash in the wallet. Less chance for close examination. Although even if the CO doesn't give and eventually has John escorted out, John is managing to provide a distraction for Sherlock, sort of.
-"You could be a used car salesman now for all I know." Ooof! Seems like a statement intended to provoke. Still, it's a valid point. Although John's distinctly tilting toward provoked. And possibly beginning to get an idea of why Bainbridge felt he couldn't take his issue to his CO.
-Well, shit. Aw, Bainbridge. Can't fault the CO for keeping John away, but they're likely going to be under some serious suspicion as people expressing an unspecified interest in Pvt. Bainbridge before he died. Assuming he's dead. maybe he's just injured. Or it's a horrendous release of pent-up butt-scratching urges. O.o
-"I know you, don't I?" Someone doesn't spend much time on the internet.
-"You hang around with that detective, the one with the silly hat." *SNERK* Well, if it's going to let you in to investigate, any route works.
-"What the hell does Bainbridge want with a detective?" And now he's worried.
-"I'll be damned if he gets up to cloak and dagger nonsense like this." Yeah, that's a different division. Their duty uniforms are a lot less eye-catching.
-"It's Bainbridge, sir. He's dead." And we have reached the 'Oh Shit' portion of the case for everyone involved. Awwww, Bainbridge. :-/
-Now, Half a mo. The... don't know his position... guy who came to get Bainbridge said someone was there to see him, he was the one Sherlock and John met at the door. So he could have been doing as he'd said earlier, or Sherlock might have tracked him down and asked, or it could be the stalker asked to see Bainbridge. I don't see Sherlock being in the shower room yet, and I doubt the guy would have left him there without an MP (or whatever the UK equivalent to Military Police) guard watching he didn't do anything when he ran for the CO. Did the guy who came to get Bainbridge also pull him out of the shower? It's possible, checking to see how bad he's hurt and what happened. *peers at floor* Looks like... hm. Looks like the shower door was busted. But the shattered bits are on the outside. So was someone up against the inner wall of the shower when the guy came to get him who broke the door when he ran out, and if so, why not just open the door to get out rather than break it? Unless the shattered bits washed out, which is also possible. *ponders*
-Heh. Yep. You're here asking questions about one of his men who's just now turned up killed. I'm surprised you aren't loaded down with every MP in the building right now.
-"Let me take a look, I'm a doctor."/"What? Sergeant, arrest this man." Yep, something like that.
-Ha, yep. About time they caught Sherlock. They might be the Royal Guard, but their internal security is pretty lax. Murder as a case in point. And so, now that Serlock's been 'caught', unless the Sergeant was carrying on with telling Bainbridge about Sherlock and John's earlier query after him, then someone else must have asked to see him too. *steeplefingers*
-"Kill him with what? Where's the weapon?" Good point. And suitably distracting to the CO who's justifiably freaking out a little about having been sitting in his office talking to John while one of the men under his command was murdered.
-"He came off duty five minutes ago, when's this supposed to have happened?" Hm. Well, I'd say he was stabbed by someone while he was standing at the guard-post but it's one thing to ignore tourists, it's another to ignore a *squints* knife in the kidney? Unless there was a lot of local anesthetic involved and no one else saw the blood (though red coat) and he didn't notice himself when he went to take a shower. So, in the shower room. Could it be something so arcane as a big shard of ice that would have melted in the shower? Heh. Be weird if it was. I ran a game once where that was an assassin's favourite murder weapon (Ice Dagger, magic spell *handwave*) so I tend to think of it in deaths where there are explainable puddles of water and no obvious murder weapon. Regardless, John with the rationality of the timing of the death. And also more than a little doctorly anxiety, because someone stabbed five minutes ago and looking dead might still be able to be saved with appropriate first response/CPR and rapid medical attention. There's a miniscule and rapidly fading chance the kid could be saved and John's being kept from even seeing if something is possible. Oh Johhhhn. *flails anxiously*
-"You obviously stabbed him before he got into the shower."/"No."/"No?!?" Just the masses of incredulity from the CO, hee.
-"*points out shampoo in hair* He got in the shower and then someone stabbed him." *nods* I didn't notice the shampoo, but to be fair, he doesn't have much hair to notice it in. Also, Sherlock's guard's hold on him is barely there. If he's hanging on to him at all, he's holding some of the back of his coat, and Sherlock can get away from that easily with a lunge forward and shrug back, leaving the guy just holding his coat. In case that becomes relevant.
-"Cubicle was locked from the inside, sir, I had to break it open."/"Must have climbed over the top." *looks at earlier cap of shower door* I'd say 'or underneath', but there isn't enough of a gap there for anyone to climb out under. At least no one without a collapsible head.
-"Then I'd be soaking wet too, wouldn't I?" Oh and that. I was already thinking of other people and forgot the CO was still stuck on accusing Sherlock. Still... *eyes the broken shower bits on the outside rather than inside* Hm. *eyes the Sergeant* Hm.
-John: *loudly lists his canon-fistpumpy credentials* "Let me examine this body!" Doctor John Watson is done with your faffing around! \o/
-Great, now everyone's theorizing. "Suicide." Noop. Besides the weapon and the difficulty of (possibly?) stabbing himself in the kidney, there's the matter of the stalker. He wasn't internalizing his distress, he was getting help from Sherlock, so being driven to suicide by the stalking is not likely.
-As far as theories go, what I have myself at this point is either the Sergeant is in on it (since he came in when the door was shut and 'broke the door' but the bits are on the outside, but again, could have been washed out), or a kind of crack-filled thing involving lost twins and organ-legging and still a big sharp icicle (or frozen spear of pure Novocaine, I mean why not, right?)
-"The weapon again; no knife." Or like Sherlock says. His specificity about the knife is making me wonder if my icicle idea doesn't have merit after all. Which is making me giggle in a less than sane way. Though that could be the medication.
-"There is a wound to the abdomen, incredibly fine." Though not so fine as to close up on its own. Maybe pencil-sized? Maybe it's a shot from a 22 instead of a stab wound, so the 'weapon' isn't there because it's a bullet and it's inside him? If it wasn't for the door bits on the outside of the shower stall, I'd be back to thinking this was done while he was on duty. They need to look at his uniform... but he'd have noticed blood and wouldn't be so calm as to go take a shower. Hmm.
-"Door locked from the inside." I'd imagine they're probably rare, these locked shower mysteries.
-"He's still breathing." YES! I THOUGHT SO! *BUCKETS OF OVER-EXCITED PROFANITY* NOW Y'ALL STAND THE FUCK BACK AND LET DOCTOR BAMF WATSON DO HIS GODDAMN JOB! YES! \o/ *FLAILS*
-"Give me your scarf."/"What?"/"Quickly, now!" EXCESSIVE VICTORY ARMS! \o/
-"CALL AN AMBULANCE, NOW! DO IT!" YES! SERIOUSLY, WHAT THE HELL ARE THEY WAITING FOR? (And really suspecting the Sergeant now if he busted the door in and dragged the kid out without even checking for basic vitals. *side-eyes*)
*COMMENCES EPIC INCOMPREHENSIBLE FLAILING AND KEYMASHING AT JOHN DOING EMERGENCY MEDICAL THINNNNNNGS!* \o/
-"Nurse, press here."/"What?"/"Hard." AHAHAHAAH, oh god. Never mind Sherlock, just do it. XD
-"Nurse?"/"I'm making do, keep pressure on that wound." *EVEN MORE INCOMPREHENSIBLE FLAILING AT DRAFTING SHERLOCK AS A FIELD NURSE* \o/
-Is this, like, the first time ever we've seen a Watson handle an actual life-or-death emergency medical situation? You'd think they'd come up more often. Although there is at least one arguable point in the ACD stories, and that's more of a case of 'prevent Holmes from experimenting himself to death' which you would also think would come up more often. In any case, ALL THE FLAILING IS HAPPENING NOW. BECAUSE BAMF DOCTOR WATSON IS IN FUCKING CHARGE. HELL. YES. \o/
-And just in case we forgot, yes, this is still Sherlock's Best Man speech. Considering the episode is nearly halfway through, I wonder if the entire episode is going to be Sherlock's Best Man speech. And I am okay with that.
-Major Sholto's looking a little dire there.
-"There is an element of Q and A to all of this." *facepalm* Oh dear. Honey, no. For one you're already about 20 minutes over the recommended time limit, and for another, people don't go to weddings to spin case theories on attempted murders. They come to celebrate. (I'm guessing icicle or other dissolving weapon though. One that would stop the wound from bleeding until it got into the shower. Also something about the shattered bits on the outside of the shower because that usually always turns out to be a thing.) Personally speaking, I'd be far more put out about not having been to many weddings if they involved hypothesizing about murder methods.
-"Scotland Yard, Have you got a theory?" Eheheheheeh, I figured Lestrade would be getting put on the spot eventually. (And another two-shot for Molly and Greg. Seriously. Although, is Molly considered part of Scotland Yard now? I thought she was at Bart's? Hm.)
-Hee! Someone wasn't quite paying attention.
-"Yeah, you! You're a detective, broadly speaking." Hee!
-Grating in the air vent. Okay.... "Maybe a ballista or a catapult." *falls over side of chair, laughing and choking* Oh god, Greg, honey, no. Someone's getting a book on medieval siege engines for his next birthday. XD
-"So yeah, we're looking for a dwarf." And now I suspect he's hamming it up on some level for the crowd, because BWAHAHAHA.
-"Brilliant."/"Really?"/"No." Aw, he looked so hopeful.
-"He stabbed himself!"/"Hello, who was that?" It's Tom! Hi Tom! Flinging himself boldly into the lion cage of deduction. Look at that face. Couldn't be more 'deer in the headlights' if it had antlers.
-"Tom." Aw. He remembered Molly's fiancee's name! Awwww.
-Oh dear god man, don't stand up, people will see you. *facepalm* And the looks on Greg and Molly's faces! The faces of the long-experienced as the new guy gets his first trial by fire. Oh dear.
-"Attempted suicide, made with a blade of compacted blood and bone." *nods consideringly* Except for the suicide part, it's not as on crack as it could be? And it'd be tricky to make a blade like that in a military barracks without all your mates noticing. Particularly when it started to smell.
-"Like a meat... dagger." Just when things looked like they might almost be going okay. I think Molly's face says it best.
-"A meat dagger?"/"Yes."/Molly: "Sit. Down." Heeeee. It does seem Molly has a type. Kind of ghoulish and a bit embarrassing. XD
-"There was one feature and only one feature of interest in the whole of this baffling case, and quite frankly it was the usual. John Watson." Of course it is. Aw.
-"Who while I was trying to solve a murder, instead saved a life." LIKE A BAMF. Hm. Death-focused and life-focused, balanced. There's meta in that. And possibly a magic realism AU or two. *nods*
-"The best and bravest man I know and on top of that, he knows how to do stuff." John's giggle!
-"Except wedding planning and serviettes, he's rubbish at those."/"True." Hee!
-"However, I'm not just here to praise John, I'm here to embarrass him." NO, REALLY? Pffft! XD
-Aw, he didn't solve it yet. Even after asking the victim what happened? He'll probably come up with something by the end of the episode though. Still calling anesthetic ice-dagger or something like. Maybe a sort of slim poignard that the wound would stay closed while he was standing and tense but would open and bleed out in the shower? Hm. *pats Sherlock consolingly*
-Of course along with the suspicion Sherlock will solve that case before the episode is done, and some form of reveal about Major Sholto and maybe also what really happened to that troop of his that all got killed (maybe Bainbridge was supposed to be a member of that troop?) that will either reveal him as a good guy or a viscous killer, I also suspect, given the pointed notes about Mary being an orphan, that Sherlock's going to reveal that some long lost relation of hers is also attending the wedding. Could even be Major Sholto. We'll see.
-"Embarrassment leads me on to the Stag Night." Oh, here we go. *rubs hands with glee*
-Oh, well, looks like there was a Stag Case, as well as the Wedding Planning breather case? AWESOME.
-"Murder scenes? Locations of murders?" As a pub crawl. Oh lord, he's going over Stag Night plans with Molly. Seriously, ask Greg and Mike, and John's friend Bill Murray. Though if you put all of them together and add alcohol, you'll probably want to stay home. (Seems to me there was a fanfic where they went on a tour of murder scenes for someone's birthday, I think Sherlock's, wasn't there?)
-"Why can't you just do Underground Stations?" Sherlock's face. XD
-"We're going to go for a drink in every street-"/"-where you've found a corpse. Delightful!" Heee. Well, when you put it that way. XD
-"You're a graduate chemist, can't you just work it out?" Firstly, hooray for info on part of Sherlock educational history, and secondly, he's hoping for advice on not getting too drunk from Molly Hooper? O.o
-"I lack the practical experience."/"Meaning you think I like a drink?" Oh! Well! Still waters run deep and all that. Go Molly! \o/
-"That I am a drunk?"/"No, no!" Aw. Careful, minefields everywhere.
-Don't often get a chance to watch Sherlock marinate in personal awkwardness without it being full of ow and facepalm of some kind. Well maybe a bit of facepalm here. *pats*
-"How's..."
"...Tom?" *SNEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERK* Aw, he's lost the habit or opportunity of trying to manipulate her through her crush on him since she's over it (or so he thinks) and is now trying to make small talk. Awww. *pats*
-"Not a sociopath."/"Still? Good." PFFFFT!
-"We're having quite a lot of sex!" Me: *noise like a steam pipe bursting* I don't know what's making me laugh harder: Sherlock's face here or that he's saying this in the reception hall and Molly's probably just bonked her face square down on the table and is wanting to crawl under it. She does look happy here though.
-OF COURSE HE HAS JOHN'S MEDICAL RECORDS. JUST TO CALCULATE THE OPTIMAL AMOUNT OF DRINKING THEY CAN DO. MYCROFT PROBABLY GOT IT FOR HIM. IF HE DIDN'T GET IT ON HIS OWN FAR EARLIER. I suspect that's in some way some fanon confirmation of some kind? XD
-John's head on the Vitruvian Man. I have NO WORDS. I only wish I could get a better cap. I do not know why, but oh god. XD
-"Lightheaded, good."/"Urinating in wardrobes, bad." Is it bad that I now want to go party with Molly Hooper? When I don't even really drink? I miss sci-fi conventions.
-"Two, uh, beers, please." Oh god. He's going to do a test run, isn't he. Experiments and all that.
-"Pints?"/"Four hundred and forty three point seven milliliters. *clunk*" Why the heck not? The few actual bar experiences I've had, most of them will fill unusual containers if the product is paid for. Like a ram's horn. Or a 2 litre insulated Slurpee cup. Or a leather pirate boot. But that was the '90's.
Hm. *looks at bottles of cooler-type stuff that has been languishing in the fridge for eight months* 330 mL per bottle, so 443.7 would be about one and a third bottles, times two for two and two thirds bottles of beer. *googles up an online Blood Alcohol Content Calculator* If they each drank three beers in an hour would probably put someone Sherlock's size in the "relaxed and light-headed" category, edging into euphoric, John a tiny bit further if he weighs less than Sherlock. However there's experience to come into that. I can't see Sherlock not having been drunk before, and John's a bit of a casual drinker, so this could be interesting. And had better involve Lestrade at some point. *nods*
-Also... Heh. Sherlock could certainly have done the calculations himself. If Molly's turned down a bridesmaid role in the ceremony for reasons mentioned previously, then this "Better drunkenness through science!" bit Sherlock had her do when he didn't need to... could be a sly sort of way of letting her have some kind of part to play in the wedding festivities? I don't know. Hm. And awwwwwwwww.
-Whoops, just realized I was miscalculating. ("one drink" is a different size in Canada than in the UK, and they're having one each, not both having two) but it does come out about the same in the end.
-Hey, what the hell, right? Even if the barman had any reluctance, he'd give in when he finds out it's for a stag or a pub crawl. Good money in those. It's part of the theme. Hope those beakers were cleaned well. And it looks like the actual night and not an experimental trial run.
-AHAHAAHAHAHAAH! TIMER! JOHN'S FACE! SCIENTIFIC PUB CRAWL FOR THE WIN! \o/
-"We on a schedule?"/"You'll thank me." Heeeeee! Oh this is going to be interesting indeed.
-Damn that's a big murder scene. I'm guessing the radius for each had to be widened until a pub was found.
*itches to call up Google Maps* ... aw hell. *gets on Google Maps* London Bridge Tube Station area.
(OH GOD THE THEME MUSIC HAS GONE KIND OF TECHNO/DUBSTEP XD)
-Aldwych near a big funky building that houses a lot of things including the High Commission of India. Hm. Liquid volume could be a real concern for them here. Maybe switch to something with more alcoholic density that you can sip?
-(The altered theme music is killing me. XD)
-Smaller circle in Soho, centered on the corner of Fifth and Bateman. I'm guessing they wouldn't have to go as far to find a bar near a murder scene in Soho. Because Soho has more bars, not necessarily more murder scenes.
-Yeah, going by John's face I would definitely switch from beer. I never would have started with beer though, I'd go for cider or vodka coolers.
-"Toilets, any second now you're gonna need-"/"Hang on, tell me after, I need the loo."/"Hm, on schedule." *SNEEEEEERK*
-The graphs are also killing me. Particularly since that black wiggly line is their BAC graph, adding at a set pace and processing at a set pace. XD
-"How long?"/"Sorry?"/"Your visit. Estimate approximate volume discharged." *headdesk* PFFFFFT!!!
-"Stop talking now." Heeeee! And Sherlock's little blurry headshake of 'you do not have an appreciation for science, John!' Aw, John doesn't look like he's having much fun. This is why you need to swing round Scotland Yard and pick up Greg when he gets off shift.
-"One more. He mustn't see." HA! Oh dear, you're going to throw all Sherlock and Molly's calculations off and make your BAC graph go skwiffy. And Sherlock's going to think you're a lightweight. I do think the switch to something other than beer is a wise one. Although it's an add-on rather than a switch and likely, in overall consideration, unwise. XD
-PFFT. Like Sherlock wouldn't notice the difference in the volume of John's drink. Oh, hey, or is he adding that to Sherlock's? Oh my. Molly's calculations are going to look so wrong. Maybe that's why she was shooting him funny looks during the pictures. After the pub crawl he criticized her booze science. *nods*
-Yep, Sherlock got it. Oh dear. XD
-"I KNOW ASH!" Oh god. Is Sherlock going to start a bar brawl about tobacco ash? XD
-And this would be John's "Oh god what have I unleashed?" facepalm. Because the last thing you need in any crowded public environment is Sherlock with his inhibitions lowered. At least he's not deducing anyone yet.
-I WAS ONLY KIDDING ABOUT THE BAR BRAWL OVER TOBACCO ASH! XD
-HIS DRUNK FACE!!! XD
-His reflexes are unimpaired it seems, that's probably going to come in very handy here in a minute.
-Eeeehehehehe! John to the rescue! Which is appropriate considering he's the one that spiked Sherlock's beer, which is making it a more interesting evening, true.
-"Ashtray!" Heeeeeeee!
-"Do you have an international reputation?" Awww. Looks like John's too annoyed, drunk or tired to drag Sherlock's 6-foot-tall butt up all 17 steps at 221b, but he's staying with him as he rants about things and sobers up a little. Admittedly, this would not have been a problem if John hadn't added the shots, but hey, it probably cut short a few more beakers of beer.
-"No I don't have an international reputation." Well. Not for identifying tobacco ash. ;-)
-"And I can't even remember what for! Crime or something or other." Oh dear. Looks like Sherlock is the definite lightweight. Or less drinking-experienced, at least when he's not expecting it.
-"Ah, Hudders." *sneeeeeeeeeeerk*
-"You've only been out two hours." O.O Well, really, that was a hell of a lot of beer and things for two hours. Around *counts* seven? measures each and a shot, sooooo. *does math* Urg. About three and a bit liters of beer (about four fifths of a gallon), plus another 30-40 ml of hard liquor. In two hours. Urg. Not dangerous, and they're both going to need the loo very very badly, but no wonder John's got Sherlock on his side and keeping him braced that way. :-P
-Until now. PFFFFT!
-Ahahahaahahah! Can you do that with that game? Put the person's own name on their head? Or has John just labeled the both of them in case any roving assassins stop by?
-Maybe not. XD
-"Am I a vegetable?"/"You, or the- *drunken splorfing noises*" Awwwwww, this is strangely adorable. Well not too strangely, they're both adorable to begin with. Very wise that they're doing the rest of the evening in, though. There are all kinds of people with wrong opinions about tobacco ash looking to pick fights in bars after all. XD
-"Am I tall?"/"Not as tall as people think." HEEEE. Oh John's definitely intending to have fun with this.
-"Do 'people' like me?" The air-quote head-bobble eye-roll. XD
-And suddenly this might seem like a not-so-good idea, just like spiking Sherlock's drink. Though they have moved on from beer to something amber in tumblers, so at least they have less worries about getting waterlogged.
-"No, they don't, you tend to rub them up the wrong way." Fair, yet diplomatic answer. Though the snickering is less diplomatic.
-"Am I the current King of England?" *SNEEERK*
-"You know we don't have a King?"/"Don't we?"/"No." They are such cute drunks. And John's having more fun now that it's just the two of them together and not a load of random loud bars, even if it is at Sherlock's unknowing expense.
-You know you're drunk when you half-fall out of your chair and find yourself grabbing your former flatmate's leg to get your butt stabilized. Really, grabbing any thing else or reaching back for the chair would have been impractical and land his ass on the floor. Sheer practicality. *snerk*
-"Am I a woman?" And Sherlock snickers like he's five. Aw. *pats them both*
-"Am I pretty? This. *points to label*" Heeeee! Trying to keep Sherlock focussed on the game now.
-"*burbles about the nature of beauty*" Yep, he's drunk. Scientifically! With a +/- 5% margin of error.
-"I don't know who you are, I don't know who you're supposed to be."/"You picked the name!"/"I picked it at random from the papers." HEEEEE! I was wondering about that. It was that or Sherlock had picked the Madonna of Medieval Christian iconography and John would have a hell of a time guessing, drunk or not.
-I do not know why they are so cute drunk. I don't. They just are.
-"I'm nice-issshhhhhhhh *handwobbly-wavey*" *giggles* Aw. Don't know what he's going to think when he finds out it's him.
-I just had a rather intense moment of comparison there. John's toes wriggling into Sherlock's chair, versus John's toes in this scene from TRF. There's like a kind of meta there. I can't explain. Just *waves hands* chairs and toes.
-Oh crap, deduction face.
-"I'm you, aren't I?" Heeeeeeee! Awwww. Hey, John, Sherlock just essentially called you clever! *smishes them*
-"Client!" BWAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHH oh god, you poor thing, you have no idea what you're walking into. I was starting to wonder when the case was going to turn up XD
-"Which one of you is Sherlock Holmes?" Okay, so she's not a roving assassin, but the label did still come in handy. Complete with John's quasi-'Kermit the frog draws things in the air' sort of a whistle-noise.
-Oh lord, considering how Sherlock usually is with clients, this could be painful.
-I suppose Sherlock nearly dozing off is the least scarring option.
-Oh god, and it seems like a straight-up relationship case.
-HAAAAAA Sherlock's little awww face! Maybe the best time to get him with a love affair-related case is when he's stonkered.
-*gestures at screen laughing* What even is that? XD
-"I honestly think I had dinner with a ghost." Yeah, this is definitely the best time she could have picked to bring this case 'round.
-Aaaand they've dozed off. AHAHAHA. Yep.
-"Boring, boring, boring-" Wonder if that's how he wakes up every day? "-No! Fascinating." Except when he's drunk.
-"John! Wake up!"/"*smacks Sherlock's arm*" Aw, John's a grumpy bear. *tousles his hair*
-"Rude. Rude!" *falls over laughing* Sherlock is learning, isn't he?
-"I found this thing, online, sort of chat room thing, for girls who think they're dating men from the spirit world." *sneeerk* Oh she really did pick the best possible time to drop by with this one.
-"I'll fin'im in ten minutes." Eeeeheheheheh. Assuming they can make it down the stairs.
-"What's your dog's name?" *facepalm*
-"Yeah, I'mmablyer if you want." No idea what he says there, but hee!
-Watsons weeble and wobble but they don't fall down. XD
-"The game is... something!" It's a really good thing neither of these guys usually uses a car, because no one's driving anywhere. And the cabbies are going to find them more interesting than usual, what with the ghost-hunting. Hehe.
-Gotta say, I like their 'drunk' voices. John muzzy-gravelly, Sherlock softer-spoken, and both kind of... cozy? Hm. Interesting.
-"...On."/"Yeah! That, that!" Ahahahaha! XD :-D
-Oh dear. Looking for clues is going to be a bit more of a challenge than usual.
-*SNEEEEERK* Ahahah. Yes, well, just a bit more of a challenge.
Ha! "sleeeeep" XD
"deaded?" hahahaahahah XD
"wotsit"! "thingamebob"! Drunk!Sherlock identifies unknown things like non-drunk me does! \o/
"sitty thing"! XD
-And three cheers for a drunken half-twirl! \o/
-Oh dear, nothing too bad in the deducing the client bit. He doesn't do so well drunk. Lots of question marks.
-Duck and cover everyone, he's going to try to use tools. Or maybe his phone? OH PLEASE LET HIM DRUNK-TEXT MYCROFT OR LESTRADE!!! If not now, then at some point!
-Aw, it's just the magnifier. Darn, there needs to be drunk texting.
-"He's cluing for looks." *snerk* Always room for spoonerisms.
-Yeah, no, he's gonna fall asleep. Annnnnd...
Hee!
-*gestures and snorts* The client all placating and Sherlock all "Whoa!" and John all "Oi, what?" and ready to stumble to Sherlock's defense.
-"Sherlock Holmes and his partner John Hamish Watson." Hm! Where'd she learn John's middle name? Is it on his blog? Which I'm not going to check as it's loaded with spoilers for me right now. Hmmmm... *side-eyes client*
-"Don't compromise the integrity of the- *barfs*" Oh dear. You know, for a story that's intended to be embarrassing for John, it's really succeeding at being embarrassing for Sherlock. XD
-"-crime scene!" I do like the blurry filter they're using for the 'drunk POV' shots, but it's making it hell to get decent caps. And this is a face that looks like it needs capping.
-"Yup. That." Hee! With the precise little snap of the magnifier before wiping vomit off his chin. Pure class. XD
-Oh dear. When your brow scrunching makes that much noise, you know you're hung over. This is also why you don't mess with the calculations. You end up in pain and in *squints at blurry bricks(?)*.... the drunk tank? Safe guess, given the landlord probably called the cops on them. Oh, hey, maybe Lestrade's going to get involved in the stag after all when he comes down to bail them out. You know, he probably did get invited to go do this with them and decided instead to take the evening shift that day, just to be there when all hell broke loose with the two of them out drinking, and be getting off shift in the morning just in time to, as I said, bail them out. And point and laugh. As one does.
-"Wakey wakey!" Yep! Too much to hope he'd bring paracetamol, coffee and a jug of orange juice each too to move the hangover recovery along. XD
-"What a couple of lightweights, you couldn't even make it to closing time!" Hee! And see! Throw off Molly's calculations at your own peril.
-"Can you whisper?"/"NOT REALLY!" HA! What are friends for? XD
-Sherlock's little equilibrium dance, hee!
-"Thanks for a, you know, an evening."/"It was awful." Aw. It wasn't that bad. It ended up being about par to the stagette I've been to. Though admittedly our 'case' wound up being werewolves rather than a ghost (would have been a more traditional RPG but there were non-gamers there too), and we ended up at the 24-hour Tim Horton's across from the RCMP station (Canada, eh?) rather than inside the station itself.
Incidentally, continuity! Same "Met Hotel Checkout Desk" as in Reichenbach Fall. Yay!
-"That woman Tessa, dated a ghost. Most interesting case for months, what a wasted opportunity!"/"...okay?" Aww. Also, they really are prompting for Supernatural crossovers, aren't they?
Continued in...
PART FOUR
PART FIVE
(PLEASE, NO SPOILERS OR REFERENCES TO ANY INFORMATION AT ALL FOR OR ABOUT EPISODES PAST 3.02 IN COMMENTS! )
Picspam Reaction for Sherlock Series 3 Episode 2 - Part 3
PART ONE
PART TWO
PART THREE - "The Sign of Three"
-*gleee!* John's using his Captain's ID again! \o/
-And speaking of yet another shape my personal Hell is likely to take, having random strangers in my personal space, taking pictures or otherwise, and not being allowed to do a damn thing about it.
-Ah, yes, I've seen this bench in photos too. "Afferent neurons in the peripheral nervous system." And Sherlock takes notice as John starts speaking science at him. *glee*
-"Your previous commander, Sholto." Ah, what better way to while away an hour waiting for someone than a little casual interrogation.
-"Previous commander?"/"I meant ex."/"Previous suggests that I currently have a commander."/"Which you don't."/"Which I don't."/"*micro-smirk* Of course you don't." *flails and makes drunken monkey noises*
-*winces at the tragic history of Major Sholto* Basically, took out a unit of new kids, was the sole survivor, and on top of the massive guilt that must bring, the media and families despise him and blame him. Yeowch. That's a pretty compelling set of reasons to become a recluse.
-"He gets more death threats than you."/"Oh I wouldn't count on that." O.o
And another O.o because people with a grievance against Major Sholto are yet another threat vector for bad things to happen at John and Mary's wedding (which we are after all still at), particularly if he's normally hidden away. There had better be a perimeter set up at that event, that's all I'm saying.
-"I'm... chatting. ...Won't be trying that again." Heee!
-"You know it won't alter anything, right? Me and Mary? Getting married?" And the tiny little breath Sherlock takes there. Kind of bracing himself, or is it a bit of relief? Or both? His hands and fingers start doing some agitated flexing there too though as the subject is brought up... Aw. *pats Sherlock*
-"Wasn't worried." Buuuuuuuullllllshiiiiiiit. Hee.
-"That's the thing about Mary. She has completely turned my life around. Changed everything." Awww. *flails* (And what do you want to bet Sherlock's buggered off?)
-"But for the record over the last few years there are two people who have done that and the other one is-" Ahahahaahah, yep. He is on a case after all. Randomly disappearing to do case-type things when he gets an idea is de rigueur. Especially if the alternative is a conversation about feelings and sentimental stuff. Though I hope that's all it was, and not him being distressed by John talking about Mary and thinking John was reversing his earlier statement about nothing changing by saying that Mary changed everything. Aww.
-"-a complete dickhead." AHAHAHAHAHAHA. That too. XD
-PFFFFFFFT!!!!! No way would that ever not get noticed. Ah. Except by the fellow they talked to earlier, who only sees the hats going by from his window, and that's if he's looking. Still, doubt the Guard would be willing to loan Sherlock a hat and let him walk in behind them like everything's normal. Hm. That aside, Sherlock doesn't want the guy who they talked to before to know he's there. The guy (who I don't think we got a rank for yet, though less than Captain, given the 'sir') did seem a little odd earlier, but not much more than any senior officer would be at a social visit by civvies for one of his junior personnel during duty hours.
-I don't know why Sherlock pausing to ruffle away his hat-hair is making me laugh so hard, but it is.
-Hard to lurk effectively when you're in a building full of khaki and bright red and you're wearing a big black dramatic coat.
-Rather tiny rec room for a guard of 40, isn't it?
-And rather dramatic, imminent-doomy music for the changing of the Guard. John's not on the bench anymore, wonder where he's gone, and we haven't seen the stalker, but the music is making me think something nasty is about to happen. *eyes 'Bloody Guardsman' case title*
-Ah, that's where John's gone. The sane logical location of the CO's office rather than skulking around an active military barracks without a pass while wearing a dramatic coat.
-"Nothing's personal when it concerns my troops." That could be 'sign of good commander/what effects one affects all' or 'creepy over-involvement' and it's hitting right in the middle for me at the moment, which is probably deliberate as it adds to the 'what the heck is going on' atmosphere.
-Concern that John's with the press could be seen as having something to hide, or could be the standard large organization dread of the press spinning perfectly standard and rational things however best sells their product, especially considering the Royal connection as mentioned. Still treading that line of interpretation *nods*.
-"Captain John Watson, Fifth Northumberland Fusiliers." *grins all over*
-"Retired." Well someone actually read the full ID. That's why you don't let them see it except as a flash in the wallet. Less chance for close examination. Although even if the CO doesn't give and eventually has John escorted out, John is managing to provide a distraction for Sherlock, sort of.
-"You could be a used car salesman now for all I know." Ooof! Seems like a statement intended to provoke. Still, it's a valid point. Although John's distinctly tilting toward provoked. And possibly beginning to get an idea of why Bainbridge felt he couldn't take his issue to his CO.
-Well, shit. Aw, Bainbridge. Can't fault the CO for keeping John away, but they're likely going to be under some serious suspicion as people expressing an unspecified interest in Pvt. Bainbridge before he died. Assuming he's dead. maybe he's just injured. Or it's a horrendous release of pent-up butt-scratching urges. O.o
-"I know you, don't I?" Someone doesn't spend much time on the internet.
-"You hang around with that detective, the one with the silly hat." *SNERK* Well, if it's going to let you in to investigate, any route works.
-"What the hell does Bainbridge want with a detective?" And now he's worried.
-"I'll be damned if he gets up to cloak and dagger nonsense like this." Yeah, that's a different division. Their duty uniforms are a lot less eye-catching.
-"It's Bainbridge, sir. He's dead." And we have reached the 'Oh Shit' portion of the case for everyone involved. Awwww, Bainbridge. :-/
-Now, Half a mo. The... don't know his position... guy who came to get Bainbridge said someone was there to see him, he was the one Sherlock and John met at the door. So he could have been doing as he'd said earlier, or Sherlock might have tracked him down and asked, or it could be the stalker asked to see Bainbridge. I don't see Sherlock being in the shower room yet, and I doubt the guy would have left him there without an MP (or whatever the UK equivalent to Military Police) guard watching he didn't do anything when he ran for the CO. Did the guy who came to get Bainbridge also pull him out of the shower? It's possible, checking to see how bad he's hurt and what happened. *peers at floor* Looks like... hm. Looks like the shower door was busted. But the shattered bits are on the outside. So was someone up against the inner wall of the shower when the guy came to get him who broke the door when he ran out, and if so, why not just open the door to get out rather than break it? Unless the shattered bits washed out, which is also possible. *ponders*
-Heh. Yep. You're here asking questions about one of his men who's just now turned up killed. I'm surprised you aren't loaded down with every MP in the building right now.
-"Let me take a look, I'm a doctor."/"What? Sergeant, arrest this man." Yep, something like that.
-Ha, yep. About time they caught Sherlock. They might be the Royal Guard, but their internal security is pretty lax. Murder as a case in point. And so, now that Serlock's been 'caught', unless the Sergeant was carrying on with telling Bainbridge about Sherlock and John's earlier query after him, then someone else must have asked to see him too. *steeplefingers*
-"Kill him with what? Where's the weapon?" Good point. And suitably distracting to the CO who's justifiably freaking out a little about having been sitting in his office talking to John while one of the men under his command was murdered.
-"He came off duty five minutes ago, when's this supposed to have happened?" Hm. Well, I'd say he was stabbed by someone while he was standing at the guard-post but it's one thing to ignore tourists, it's another to ignore a *squints* knife in the kidney? Unless there was a lot of local anesthetic involved and no one else saw the blood (though red coat) and he didn't notice himself when he went to take a shower. So, in the shower room. Could it be something so arcane as a big shard of ice that would have melted in the shower? Heh. Be weird if it was. I ran a game once where that was an assassin's favourite murder weapon (Ice Dagger, magic spell *handwave*) so I tend to think of it in deaths where there are explainable puddles of water and no obvious murder weapon. Regardless, John with the rationality of the timing of the death. And also more than a little doctorly anxiety, because someone stabbed five minutes ago and looking dead might still be able to be saved with appropriate first response/CPR and rapid medical attention. There's a miniscule and rapidly fading chance the kid could be saved and John's being kept from even seeing if something is possible. Oh Johhhhn. *flails anxiously*
-"You obviously stabbed him before he got into the shower."/"No."/"No?!?" Just the masses of incredulity from the CO, hee.
-"*points out shampoo in hair* He got in the shower and then someone stabbed him." *nods* I didn't notice the shampoo, but to be fair, he doesn't have much hair to notice it in. Also, Sherlock's guard's hold on him is barely there. If he's hanging on to him at all, he's holding some of the back of his coat, and Sherlock can get away from that easily with a lunge forward and shrug back, leaving the guy just holding his coat. In case that becomes relevant.
-"Cubicle was locked from the inside, sir, I had to break it open."/"Must have climbed over the top." *looks at earlier cap of shower door* I'd say 'or underneath', but there isn't enough of a gap there for anyone to climb out under. At least no one without a collapsible head.
-"Then I'd be soaking wet too, wouldn't I?" Oh and that. I was already thinking of other people and forgot the CO was still stuck on accusing Sherlock. Still... *eyes the broken shower bits on the outside rather than inside* Hm. *eyes the Sergeant* Hm.
-John: *loudly lists his canon-fistpumpy credentials* "Let me examine this body!" Doctor John Watson is done with your faffing around! \o/
-Great, now everyone's theorizing. "Suicide." Noop. Besides the weapon and the difficulty of (possibly?) stabbing himself in the kidney, there's the matter of the stalker. He wasn't internalizing his distress, he was getting help from Sherlock, so being driven to suicide by the stalking is not likely.
-As far as theories go, what I have myself at this point is either the Sergeant is in on it (since he came in when the door was shut and 'broke the door' but the bits are on the outside, but again, could have been washed out), or a kind of crack-filled thing involving lost twins and organ-legging and still a big sharp icicle (or frozen spear of pure Novocaine, I mean why not, right?)
-"The weapon again; no knife." Or like Sherlock says. His specificity about the knife is making me wonder if my icicle idea doesn't have merit after all. Which is making me giggle in a less than sane way. Though that could be the medication.
-"There is a wound to the abdomen, incredibly fine." Though not so fine as to close up on its own. Maybe pencil-sized? Maybe it's a shot from a 22 instead of a stab wound, so the 'weapon' isn't there because it's a bullet and it's inside him? If it wasn't for the door bits on the outside of the shower stall, I'd be back to thinking this was done while he was on duty. They need to look at his uniform... but he'd have noticed blood and wouldn't be so calm as to go take a shower. Hmm.
-"Door locked from the inside." I'd imagine they're probably rare, these locked shower mysteries.
-"He's still breathing." YES! I THOUGHT SO! *BUCKETS OF OVER-EXCITED PROFANITY* NOW Y'ALL STAND THE FUCK BACK AND LET DOCTOR BAMF WATSON DO HIS GODDAMN JOB! YES! \o/ *FLAILS*
-"Give me your scarf."/"What?"/"Quickly, now!" EXCESSIVE VICTORY ARMS! \o/
-"CALL AN AMBULANCE, NOW! DO IT!" YES! SERIOUSLY, WHAT THE HELL ARE THEY WAITING FOR? (And really suspecting the Sergeant now if he busted the door in and dragged the kid out without even checking for basic vitals. *side-eyes*)
*COMMENCES EPIC INCOMPREHENSIBLE FLAILING AND KEYMASHING AT JOHN DOING EMERGENCY MEDICAL THINNNNNNGS!* \o/
-"Nurse, press here."/"What?"/"Hard." AHAHAHAAH, oh god. Never mind Sherlock, just do it. XD
-"Nurse?"/"I'm making do, keep pressure on that wound." *EVEN MORE INCOMPREHENSIBLE FLAILING AT DRAFTING SHERLOCK AS A FIELD NURSE* \o/
-Is this, like, the first time ever we've seen a Watson handle an actual life-or-death emergency medical situation? You'd think they'd come up more often. Although there is at least one arguable point in the ACD stories, and that's more of a case of 'prevent Holmes from experimenting himself to death' which you would also think would come up more often. In any case, ALL THE FLAILING IS HAPPENING NOW. BECAUSE BAMF DOCTOR WATSON IS IN FUCKING CHARGE. HELL. YES. \o/
-And just in case we forgot, yes, this is still Sherlock's Best Man speech. Considering the episode is nearly halfway through, I wonder if the entire episode is going to be Sherlock's Best Man speech. And I am okay with that.
-Major Sholto's looking a little dire there.
-"There is an element of Q and A to all of this." *facepalm* Oh dear. Honey, no. For one you're already about 20 minutes over the recommended time limit, and for another, people don't go to weddings to spin case theories on attempted murders. They come to celebrate. (I'm guessing icicle or other dissolving weapon though. One that would stop the wound from bleeding until it got into the shower. Also something about the shattered bits on the outside of the shower because that usually always turns out to be a thing.) Personally speaking, I'd be far more put out about not having been to many weddings if they involved hypothesizing about murder methods.
-"Scotland Yard, Have you got a theory?" Eheheheheeh, I figured Lestrade would be getting put on the spot eventually. (And another two-shot for Molly and Greg. Seriously. Although, is Molly considered part of Scotland Yard now? I thought she was at Bart's? Hm.)
-Hee! Someone wasn't quite paying attention.
-"Yeah, you! You're a detective, broadly speaking." Hee!
-Grating in the air vent. Okay.... "Maybe a ballista or a catapult." *falls over side of chair, laughing and choking* Oh god, Greg, honey, no. Someone's getting a book on medieval siege engines for his next birthday. XD
-"So yeah, we're looking for a dwarf." And now I suspect he's hamming it up on some level for the crowd, because BWAHAHAHA.
-"Brilliant."/"Really?"/"No." Aw, he looked so hopeful.
-"He stabbed himself!"/"Hello, who was that?" It's Tom! Hi Tom! Flinging himself boldly into the lion cage of deduction. Look at that face. Couldn't be more 'deer in the headlights' if it had antlers.
-"Tom." Aw. He remembered Molly's fiancee's name! Awwww.
-Oh dear god man, don't stand up, people will see you. *facepalm* And the looks on Greg and Molly's faces! The faces of the long-experienced as the new guy gets his first trial by fire. Oh dear.
-"Attempted suicide, made with a blade of compacted blood and bone." *nods consideringly* Except for the suicide part, it's not as on crack as it could be? And it'd be tricky to make a blade like that in a military barracks without all your mates noticing. Particularly when it started to smell.
-"Like a meat... dagger." Just when things looked like they might almost be going okay. I think Molly's face says it best.
-"A meat dagger?"/"Yes."/Molly: "Sit. Down." Heeeee. It does seem Molly has a type. Kind of ghoulish and a bit embarrassing. XD
-"There was one feature and only one feature of interest in the whole of this baffling case, and quite frankly it was the usual. John Watson." Of course it is. Aw.
-"Who while I was trying to solve a murder, instead saved a life." LIKE A BAMF. Hm. Death-focused and life-focused, balanced. There's meta in that. And possibly a magic realism AU or two. *nods*
-"The best and bravest man I know and on top of that, he knows how to do stuff." John's giggle!
-"Except wedding planning and serviettes, he's rubbish at those."/"True." Hee!
-"However, I'm not just here to praise John, I'm here to embarrass him." NO, REALLY? Pffft! XD
-Aw, he didn't solve it yet. Even after asking the victim what happened? He'll probably come up with something by the end of the episode though. Still calling anesthetic ice-dagger or something like. Maybe a sort of slim poignard that the wound would stay closed while he was standing and tense but would open and bleed out in the shower? Hm. *pats Sherlock consolingly*
-Of course along with the suspicion Sherlock will solve that case before the episode is done, and some form of reveal about Major Sholto and maybe also what really happened to that troop of his that all got killed (maybe Bainbridge was supposed to be a member of that troop?) that will either reveal him as a good guy or a viscous killer, I also suspect, given the pointed notes about Mary being an orphan, that Sherlock's going to reveal that some long lost relation of hers is also attending the wedding. Could even be Major Sholto. We'll see.
-"Embarrassment leads me on to the Stag Night." Oh, here we go. *rubs hands with glee*
-Oh, well, looks like there was a Stag Case, as well as the Wedding Planning breather case? AWESOME.
-"Murder scenes? Locations of murders?" As a pub crawl. Oh lord, he's going over Stag Night plans with Molly. Seriously, ask Greg and Mike, and John's friend Bill Murray. Though if you put all of them together and add alcohol, you'll probably want to stay home. (Seems to me there was a fanfic where they went on a tour of murder scenes for someone's birthday, I think Sherlock's, wasn't there?)
-"Why can't you just do Underground Stations?" Sherlock's face. XD
-"We're going to go for a drink in every street-"/"-where you've found a corpse. Delightful!" Heee. Well, when you put it that way. XD
-"You're a graduate chemist, can't you just work it out?" Firstly, hooray for info on part of Sherlock educational history, and secondly, he's hoping for advice on not getting too drunk from Molly Hooper? O.o
-"I lack the practical experience."/"Meaning you think I like a drink?" Oh! Well! Still waters run deep and all that. Go Molly! \o/
-"That I am a drunk?"/"No, no!" Aw. Careful, minefields everywhere.
-Don't often get a chance to watch Sherlock marinate in personal awkwardness without it being full of ow and facepalm of some kind. Well maybe a bit of facepalm here. *pats*
-"How's..."
"...Tom?" *SNEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERK* Aw, he's lost the habit or opportunity of trying to manipulate her through her crush on him since she's over it (or so he thinks) and is now trying to make small talk. Awww. *pats*
-"Not a sociopath."/"Still? Good." PFFFFT!
-"We're having quite a lot of sex!" Me: *noise like a steam pipe bursting* I don't know what's making me laugh harder: Sherlock's face here or that he's saying this in the reception hall and Molly's probably just bonked her face square down on the table and is wanting to crawl under it. She does look happy here though.
-OF COURSE HE HAS JOHN'S MEDICAL RECORDS. JUST TO CALCULATE THE OPTIMAL AMOUNT OF DRINKING THEY CAN DO. MYCROFT PROBABLY GOT IT FOR HIM. IF HE DIDN'T GET IT ON HIS OWN FAR EARLIER. I suspect that's in some way some fanon confirmation of some kind? XD
-John's head on the Vitruvian Man. I have NO WORDS. I only wish I could get a better cap. I do not know why, but oh god. XD
-"Lightheaded, good."/"Urinating in wardrobes, bad." Is it bad that I now want to go party with Molly Hooper? When I don't even really drink? I miss sci-fi conventions.
-"Two, uh, beers, please." Oh god. He's going to do a test run, isn't he. Experiments and all that.
-"Pints?"/"Four hundred and forty three point seven milliliters. *clunk*" Why the heck not? The few actual bar experiences I've had, most of them will fill unusual containers if the product is paid for. Like a ram's horn. Or a 2 litre insulated Slurpee cup. Or a leather pirate boot. But that was the '90's.
Hm. *looks at bottles of cooler-type stuff that has been languishing in the fridge for eight months* 330 mL per bottle, so 443.7 would be about one and a third bottles, times two for two and two thirds bottles of beer. *googles up an online Blood Alcohol Content Calculator* If they each drank three beers in an hour would probably put someone Sherlock's size in the "relaxed and light-headed" category, edging into euphoric, John a tiny bit further if he weighs less than Sherlock. However there's experience to come into that. I can't see Sherlock not having been drunk before, and John's a bit of a casual drinker, so this could be interesting. And had better involve Lestrade at some point. *nods*
-Also... Heh. Sherlock could certainly have done the calculations himself. If Molly's turned down a bridesmaid role in the ceremony for reasons mentioned previously, then this "Better drunkenness through science!" bit Sherlock had her do when he didn't need to... could be a sly sort of way of letting her have some kind of part to play in the wedding festivities? I don't know. Hm. And awwwwwwwww.
-Whoops, just realized I was miscalculating. ("one drink" is a different size in Canada than in the UK, and they're having one each, not both having two) but it does come out about the same in the end.
-Hey, what the hell, right? Even if the barman had any reluctance, he'd give in when he finds out it's for a stag or a pub crawl. Good money in those. It's part of the theme. Hope those beakers were cleaned well. And it looks like the actual night and not an experimental trial run.
-AHAHAAHAHAHAAH! TIMER! JOHN'S FACE! SCIENTIFIC PUB CRAWL FOR THE WIN! \o/
-"We on a schedule?"/"You'll thank me." Heeeeee! Oh this is going to be interesting indeed.
-Damn that's a big murder scene. I'm guessing the radius for each had to be widened until a pub was found.
*itches to call up Google Maps* ... aw hell. *gets on Google Maps* London Bridge Tube Station area.
(OH GOD THE THEME MUSIC HAS GONE KIND OF TECHNO/DUBSTEP XD)
-Aldwych near a big funky building that houses a lot of things including the High Commission of India. Hm. Liquid volume could be a real concern for them here. Maybe switch to something with more alcoholic density that you can sip?
-(The altered theme music is killing me. XD)
-Smaller circle in Soho, centered on the corner of Fifth and Bateman. I'm guessing they wouldn't have to go as far to find a bar near a murder scene in Soho. Because Soho has more bars, not necessarily more murder scenes.
-Yeah, going by John's face I would definitely switch from beer. I never would have started with beer though, I'd go for cider or vodka coolers.
-"Toilets, any second now you're gonna need-"/"Hang on, tell me after, I need the loo."/"Hm, on schedule." *SNEEEEEERK*
-The graphs are also killing me. Particularly since that black wiggly line is their BAC graph, adding at a set pace and processing at a set pace. XD
-"How long?"/"Sorry?"/"Your visit. Estimate approximate volume discharged." *headdesk* PFFFFFT!!!
-"Stop talking now." Heeeee! And Sherlock's little blurry headshake of 'you do not have an appreciation for science, John!' Aw, John doesn't look like he's having much fun. This is why you need to swing round Scotland Yard and pick up Greg when he gets off shift.
-"One more. He mustn't see." HA! Oh dear, you're going to throw all Sherlock and Molly's calculations off and make your BAC graph go skwiffy. And Sherlock's going to think you're a lightweight. I do think the switch to something other than beer is a wise one. Although it's an add-on rather than a switch and likely, in overall consideration, unwise. XD
-PFFT. Like Sherlock wouldn't notice the difference in the volume of John's drink. Oh, hey, or is he adding that to Sherlock's? Oh my. Molly's calculations are going to look so wrong. Maybe that's why she was shooting him funny looks during the pictures. After the pub crawl he criticized her booze science. *nods*
-Yep, Sherlock got it. Oh dear. XD
-"I KNOW ASH!" Oh god. Is Sherlock going to start a bar brawl about tobacco ash? XD
-And this would be John's "Oh god what have I unleashed?" facepalm. Because the last thing you need in any crowded public environment is Sherlock with his inhibitions lowered. At least he's not deducing anyone yet.
-I WAS ONLY KIDDING ABOUT THE BAR BRAWL OVER TOBACCO ASH! XD
-HIS DRUNK FACE!!! XD
-His reflexes are unimpaired it seems, that's probably going to come in very handy here in a minute.
-Eeeehehehehe! John to the rescue! Which is appropriate considering he's the one that spiked Sherlock's beer, which is making it a more interesting evening, true.
-"Ashtray!" Heeeeeeee!
-"Do you have an international reputation?" Awww. Looks like John's too annoyed, drunk or tired to drag Sherlock's 6-foot-tall butt up all 17 steps at 221b, but he's staying with him as he rants about things and sobers up a little. Admittedly, this would not have been a problem if John hadn't added the shots, but hey, it probably cut short a few more beakers of beer.
-"No I don't have an international reputation." Well. Not for identifying tobacco ash. ;-)
-"And I can't even remember what for! Crime or something or other." Oh dear. Looks like Sherlock is the definite lightweight. Or less drinking-experienced, at least when he's not expecting it.
-"Ah, Hudders." *sneeeeeeeeeeerk*
-"You've only been out two hours." O.O Well, really, that was a hell of a lot of beer and things for two hours. Around *counts* seven? measures each and a shot, sooooo. *does math* Urg. About three and a bit liters of beer (about four fifths of a gallon), plus another 30-40 ml of hard liquor. In two hours. Urg. Not dangerous, and they're both going to need the loo very very badly, but no wonder John's got Sherlock on his side and keeping him braced that way. :-P
-Until now. PFFFFT!
-Ahahahaahahah! Can you do that with that game? Put the person's own name on their head? Or has John just labeled the both of them in case any roving assassins stop by?
-Maybe not. XD
-"Am I a vegetable?"/"You, or the- *drunken splorfing noises*" Awwwwww, this is strangely adorable. Well not too strangely, they're both adorable to begin with. Very wise that they're doing the rest of the evening in, though. There are all kinds of people with wrong opinions about tobacco ash looking to pick fights in bars after all. XD
-"Am I tall?"/"Not as tall as people think." HEEEE. Oh John's definitely intending to have fun with this.
-"Do 'people' like me?" The air-quote head-bobble eye-roll. XD
-And suddenly this might seem like a not-so-good idea, just like spiking Sherlock's drink. Though they have moved on from beer to something amber in tumblers, so at least they have less worries about getting waterlogged.
-"No, they don't, you tend to rub them up the wrong way." Fair, yet diplomatic answer. Though the snickering is less diplomatic.
-"Am I the current King of England?" *SNEEERK*
-"You know we don't have a King?"/"Don't we?"/"No." They are such cute drunks. And John's having more fun now that it's just the two of them together and not a load of random loud bars, even if it is at Sherlock's unknowing expense.
-You know you're drunk when you half-fall out of your chair and find yourself grabbing your former flatmate's leg to get your butt stabilized. Really, grabbing any thing else or reaching back for the chair would have been impractical and land his ass on the floor. Sheer practicality. *snerk*
-"Am I a woman?" And Sherlock snickers like he's five. Aw. *pats them both*
-"Am I pretty? This. *points to label*" Heeeee! Trying to keep Sherlock focussed on the game now.
-"*burbles about the nature of beauty*" Yep, he's drunk. Scientifically! With a +/- 5% margin of error.
-"I don't know who you are, I don't know who you're supposed to be."/"You picked the name!"/"I picked it at random from the papers." HEEEEE! I was wondering about that. It was that or Sherlock had picked the Madonna of Medieval Christian iconography and John would have a hell of a time guessing, drunk or not.
-I do not know why they are so cute drunk. I don't. They just are.
-"I'm nice-issshhhhhhhh *handwobbly-wavey*" *giggles* Aw. Don't know what he's going to think when he finds out it's him.
-I just had a rather intense moment of comparison there. John's toes wriggling into Sherlock's chair, versus John's toes in this scene from TRF. There's like a kind of meta there. I can't explain. Just *waves hands* chairs and toes.
-Oh crap, deduction face.
-"I'm you, aren't I?" Heeeeeeee! Awwww. Hey, John, Sherlock just essentially called you clever! *smishes them*
-"Client!" BWAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHH oh god, you poor thing, you have no idea what you're walking into. I was starting to wonder when the case was going to turn up XD
-"Which one of you is Sherlock Holmes?" Okay, so she's not a roving assassin, but the label did still come in handy. Complete with John's quasi-'Kermit the frog draws things in the air' sort of a whistle-noise.
-Oh lord, considering how Sherlock usually is with clients, this could be painful.
-I suppose Sherlock nearly dozing off is the least scarring option.
-Oh god, and it seems like a straight-up relationship case.
-HAAAAAA Sherlock's little awww face! Maybe the best time to get him with a love affair-related case is when he's stonkered.
-*gestures at screen laughing* What even is that? XD
-"I honestly think I had dinner with a ghost." Yeah, this is definitely the best time she could have picked to bring this case 'round.
-Aaaand they've dozed off. AHAHAHA. Yep.
-"Boring, boring, boring-" Wonder if that's how he wakes up every day? "-No! Fascinating." Except when he's drunk.
-"John! Wake up!"/"*smacks Sherlock's arm*" Aw, John's a grumpy bear. *tousles his hair*
-"Rude. Rude!" *falls over laughing* Sherlock is learning, isn't he?
-"I found this thing, online, sort of chat room thing, for girls who think they're dating men from the spirit world." *sneeerk* Oh she really did pick the best possible time to drop by with this one.
-"I'll fin'im in ten minutes." Eeeeheheheheh. Assuming they can make it down the stairs.
-"What's your dog's name?" *facepalm*
-"Yeah, I'mmablyer if you want." No idea what he says there, but hee!
-Watsons weeble and wobble but they don't fall down. XD
-"The game is... something!" It's a really good thing neither of these guys usually uses a car, because no one's driving anywhere. And the cabbies are going to find them more interesting than usual, what with the ghost-hunting. Hehe.
-Gotta say, I like their 'drunk' voices. John muzzy-gravelly, Sherlock softer-spoken, and both kind of... cozy? Hm. Interesting.
-"...On."/"Yeah! That, that!" Ahahahaha! XD :-D
-Oh dear. Looking for clues is going to be a bit more of a challenge than usual.
-*SNEEEEERK* Ahahah. Yes, well, just a bit more of a challenge.
Ha! "sleeeeep" XD
"deaded?" hahahaahahah XD
"wotsit"! "thingamebob"! Drunk!Sherlock identifies unknown things like non-drunk me does! \o/
"sitty thing"! XD
-And three cheers for a drunken half-twirl! \o/
-Oh dear, nothing too bad in the deducing the client bit. He doesn't do so well drunk. Lots of question marks.
-Duck and cover everyone, he's going to try to use tools. Or maybe his phone? OH PLEASE LET HIM DRUNK-TEXT MYCROFT OR LESTRADE!!! If not now, then at some point!
-Aw, it's just the magnifier. Darn, there needs to be drunk texting.
-"He's cluing for looks." *snerk* Always room for spoonerisms.
-Yeah, no, he's gonna fall asleep. Annnnnd...
Hee!
-*gestures and snorts* The client all placating and Sherlock all "Whoa!" and John all "Oi, what?" and ready to stumble to Sherlock's defense.
-"Sherlock Holmes and his partner John Hamish Watson." Hm! Where'd she learn John's middle name? Is it on his blog? Which I'm not going to check as it's loaded with spoilers for me right now. Hmmmm... *side-eyes client*
-"Don't compromise the integrity of the- *barfs*" Oh dear. You know, for a story that's intended to be embarrassing for John, it's really succeeding at being embarrassing for Sherlock. XD
-"-crime scene!" I do like the blurry filter they're using for the 'drunk POV' shots, but it's making it hell to get decent caps. And this is a face that looks like it needs capping.
-"Yup. That." Hee! With the precise little snap of the magnifier before wiping vomit off his chin. Pure class. XD
-Oh dear. When your brow scrunching makes that much noise, you know you're hung over. This is also why you don't mess with the calculations. You end up in pain and in *squints at blurry bricks(?)*.... the drunk tank? Safe guess, given the landlord probably called the cops on them. Oh, hey, maybe Lestrade's going to get involved in the stag after all when he comes down to bail them out. You know, he probably did get invited to go do this with them and decided instead to take the evening shift that day, just to be there when all hell broke loose with the two of them out drinking, and be getting off shift in the morning just in time to, as I said, bail them out. And point and laugh. As one does.
-"Wakey wakey!" Yep! Too much to hope he'd bring paracetamol, coffee and a jug of orange juice each too to move the hangover recovery along. XD
-"What a couple of lightweights, you couldn't even make it to closing time!" Hee! And see! Throw off Molly's calculations at your own peril.
-"Can you whisper?"/"NOT REALLY!" HA! What are friends for? XD
-Sherlock's little equilibrium dance, hee!
-"Thanks for a, you know, an evening."/"It was awful." Aw. It wasn't that bad. It ended up being about par to the stagette I've been to. Though admittedly our 'case' wound up being werewolves rather than a ghost (would have been a more traditional RPG but there were non-gamers there too), and we ended up at the 24-hour Tim Horton's across from the RCMP station (Canada, eh?) rather than inside the station itself.
Incidentally, continuity! Same "Met Hotel Checkout Desk" as in Reichenbach Fall. Yay!
-"That woman Tessa, dated a ghost. Most interesting case for months, what a wasted opportunity!"/"...okay?" Aww. Also, they really are prompting for Supernatural crossovers, aren't they?
Continued in...
PART FOUR
PART FIVE
(PLEASE, NO SPOILERS OR REFERENCES TO ANY INFORMATION AT ALL FOR OR ABOUT EPISODES PAST 3.02 IN COMMENTS! )