[TM 240] Discuss an individual who has scared you
Fear is such a non-productive emotion. I can’t remember any time I’ve been legitimately afraid of someone.
Things scare me. I was terrified of the Cylons-and rightly so-as I would be of anything that wanted to kill me.
People, though, don’t scare me. I’ve been awed by them-stunned, and intimidated. As a child, I held my parents in such awe. They were the strongest, bravest, smartest beings I could imagine.
People confuse me. Adama confused me-his lack of bloodlust, his pragmatism, his warmth-I could not understand him.
But to fear him-to fear anything I could not understand-would get me nowhere. Rather, I seek the understanding I lack-look for cracks and weaknesses that would lay bare the mysteries on the inside.
The closest I came to being scared was of Belzen, and it wasn’t of him, but rather of the situation. I’d never been so directly challenged in my own CIC before, and to have it happen pushed me to a crossroads I did not want to face.
I could back down, and risk losing not only the war, but also the respect of my crew. Or, I could shoot him. I’d never killed anyone so directly before, and I had no desire to lose an otherwise competent XO, but I could not let my emotions get in the way.
And so, I picked up his sidearm, and put a bullet into his head.
And I never let anyone see how very much doing so had shaken me.
Muse: Admiral Helena Cain
Fandom: Battlestar Galactica
Word Count: 255
Things scare me. I was terrified of the Cylons-and rightly so-as I would be of anything that wanted to kill me.
People, though, don’t scare me. I’ve been awed by them-stunned, and intimidated. As a child, I held my parents in such awe. They were the strongest, bravest, smartest beings I could imagine.
People confuse me. Adama confused me-his lack of bloodlust, his pragmatism, his warmth-I could not understand him.
But to fear him-to fear anything I could not understand-would get me nowhere. Rather, I seek the understanding I lack-look for cracks and weaknesses that would lay bare the mysteries on the inside.
The closest I came to being scared was of Belzen, and it wasn’t of him, but rather of the situation. I’d never been so directly challenged in my own CIC before, and to have it happen pushed me to a crossroads I did not want to face.
I could back down, and risk losing not only the war, but also the respect of my crew. Or, I could shoot him. I’d never killed anyone so directly before, and I had no desire to lose an otherwise competent XO, but I could not let my emotions get in the way.
And so, I picked up his sidearm, and put a bullet into his head.
And I never let anyone see how very much doing so had shaken me.
Muse: Admiral Helena Cain
Fandom: Battlestar Galactica
Word Count: 255