Another one for Lolo.
Don't know
What I was looking for when I went home
I found me alone
Sometimes
I need someone to say, you'll be alright
What's on your mind?
But the waters shallow here
And I am full of fear
And empty handed after two long years
Another sunny day in California
I'm sure back home they'd love to see it
But they don't know that what you love is ripped away
Before you get a chance to feel it
Back home
I always thought I wanted so much more
Now im not too sure
Cause sometimes
I miss knowing someones there for me
And feeling free
Free to stand beside
The ocean in moonlight
And light myself a smoke beneath
The dark atlantic sky
Another sunny day in California
I'm sure back home they'd love to see it
But they don't know that what you love is ripped away
Before you get a chance to feel it
Everybody here is living life in fear of falling out of line
Tearing lives apart breakin lots of hearts just to pass the time
And the eyes get red in the back of your head
This place will make you blind
Put it all behind me and I'll be just fine
Another sunny day beneath this cloudless sky
Sometimes I wish that it would rain here
And wash away the west coast dreamin from my eyes
There's nothing real for them to see here
Another starry night in California
I'm sure back home they'd love to see it
But they don't know that what you love is ripped away
Before you get a chance to feel it
I miss my greatgrandmother. Tomorrow we'll have celebrated a year of holidays without her. Its really hard now that she's gone. I miss the stupid crazy Polish things she would say. Or how she constantly forgot my mom's name. How much she loved all of us and just wanted us all to be happy. Throwing my sunglasses in the Chesapeake Bay when I was little at her house. Dear god I miss that house and all of its memories. So very very much. A neighboring house was in this real estate magazine and I really wanted to buy it so badly. I just want to hold onto a little piece of Cape St. Claire as long as I can. And the tiny little candy store she and my greatgrandfather used to run before I was born (he died a few years before I was born).
I miss her a lot most days. But somehow I haven't cried for her in a long time. I just cry about everything else. Everything else gets me down and then I think of her and how my grandfather's dying now and it wells up and I just cry from stress and sadness.
I try and put up this front sometimes and you guys just let me be loose and silly and its honestly the best thing you can do for me. Letting me be giggly and five and a half at times. It's amazing. I love us all connecting. You guys are the best when I'm so stressed and upset. I love you all so so very much. Thanks again.
xoxox.
What I was looking for when I went home
I found me alone
Sometimes
I need someone to say, you'll be alright
What's on your mind?
But the waters shallow here
And I am full of fear
And empty handed after two long years
Another sunny day in California
I'm sure back home they'd love to see it
But they don't know that what you love is ripped away
Before you get a chance to feel it
Back home
I always thought I wanted so much more
Now im not too sure
Cause sometimes
I miss knowing someones there for me
And feeling free
Free to stand beside
The ocean in moonlight
And light myself a smoke beneath
The dark atlantic sky
Another sunny day in California
I'm sure back home they'd love to see it
But they don't know that what you love is ripped away
Before you get a chance to feel it
Everybody here is living life in fear of falling out of line
Tearing lives apart breakin lots of hearts just to pass the time
And the eyes get red in the back of your head
This place will make you blind
Put it all behind me and I'll be just fine
Another sunny day beneath this cloudless sky
Sometimes I wish that it would rain here
And wash away the west coast dreamin from my eyes
There's nothing real for them to see here
Another starry night in California
I'm sure back home they'd love to see it
But they don't know that what you love is ripped away
Before you get a chance to feel it
I miss my greatgrandmother. Tomorrow we'll have celebrated a year of holidays without her. Its really hard now that she's gone. I miss the stupid crazy Polish things she would say. Or how she constantly forgot my mom's name. How much she loved all of us and just wanted us all to be happy. Throwing my sunglasses in the Chesapeake Bay when I was little at her house. Dear god I miss that house and all of its memories. So very very much. A neighboring house was in this real estate magazine and I really wanted to buy it so badly. I just want to hold onto a little piece of Cape St. Claire as long as I can. And the tiny little candy store she and my greatgrandfather used to run before I was born (he died a few years before I was born).
I miss her a lot most days. But somehow I haven't cried for her in a long time. I just cry about everything else. Everything else gets me down and then I think of her and how my grandfather's dying now and it wells up and I just cry from stress and sadness.
I try and put up this front sometimes and you guys just let me be loose and silly and its honestly the best thing you can do for me. Letting me be giggly and five and a half at times. It's amazing. I love us all connecting. You guys are the best when I'm so stressed and upset. I love you all so so very much. Thanks again.
xoxox.