(no subject)
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Ok, so I get out of the car in front of chinese buffet and the first thing I clock my eyes on is Samantha (we call her that for that is her name) waddling around yelling to anyone who will listen "I'VE HAD A BOTTLE OF VODKA BEFORE I CAME! I'M REALLY DRUNK" (in a "slurred" voice)
Thankfully, no one is listening to the dumb cow and are all wishing Ruth (the birthday girl) a happy birthday. Samantha then stumbles over to me and whispers in my ear "i'm so fucking pisssedd! full bottle of vvodkaa."
Then the conversation ran like this;
Me: Sam, if you have really had a full bottle of vodka before you got here, I need to phone you an ambulance.
Sam: Oh, whhy?
Me: Because if I don't your liver will fall out of your arse and you will die.
Sam: Oh, it's ok I think I'm starting to sober up now.
Me: Your liver failure will still kill you.
Sam then grabs my arm and pulls me over to one side.
Me: Be honest with me, I don't like liars, have you had ANY vodka at all?
Sam: No, but don't tell anyone, they think I have.
Me: I don't think they give a shit if they leave you when you're going around saying you've drunk a full bottle, also, are you really going to pretend to be "drunk" the whole time we're here?
Sam: Good point, should I just say I've sobered up.
Me: Or just tell the truth. Or don't say anything.
Then later the bill turned out to be £110 more than we expected so everyone chipped in and then Sam goes "I've got £50, here, no need to pay me back."
Then we go downstairs and ruth's mum has arrived and said anyone who paid extra than they expected will be paid back out of Ruth's birthday money, everyone goes "oh, no, it's ok, we don't want paying back!" everyone apart from Sam - that is.
Sam starts clicking her fingers over everyone's heads and saying "I payed £50 extra and I need it back.
I swear to God I nearly punched her. And a couple of other teenagers started telling their sob stories about how hard their life is and how they had to save up for *months* to be able to come tonight. Then they all turned to face me as if they expected me to tell them a sob story about my life. Getting slightly sick of the drama to be honest.
On the plus side, I stole all the mint imperials from Chinese Buffet. *noms*
Ok, so I get out of the car in front of chinese buffet and the first thing I clock my eyes on is Samantha (we call her that for that is her name) waddling around yelling to anyone who will listen "I'VE HAD A BOTTLE OF VODKA BEFORE I CAME! I'M REALLY DRUNK" (in a "slurred" voice)
Thankfully, no one is listening to the dumb cow and are all wishing Ruth (the birthday girl) a happy birthday. Samantha then stumbles over to me and whispers in my ear "i'm so fucking pisssedd! full bottle of vvodkaa."
Then the conversation ran like this;
Me: Sam, if you have really had a full bottle of vodka before you got here, I need to phone you an ambulance.
Sam: Oh, whhy?
Me: Because if I don't your liver will fall out of your arse and you will die.
Sam: Oh, it's ok I think I'm starting to sober up now.
Me: Your liver failure will still kill you.
Sam then grabs my arm and pulls me over to one side.
Me: Be honest with me, I don't like liars, have you had ANY vodka at all?
Sam: No, but don't tell anyone, they think I have.
Me: I don't think they give a shit if they leave you when you're going around saying you've drunk a full bottle, also, are you really going to pretend to be "drunk" the whole time we're here?
Sam: Good point, should I just say I've sobered up.
Me: Or just tell the truth. Or don't say anything.
Then later the bill turned out to be £110 more than we expected so everyone chipped in and then Sam goes "I've got £50, here, no need to pay me back."
Then we go downstairs and ruth's mum has arrived and said anyone who paid extra than they expected will be paid back out of Ruth's birthday money, everyone goes "oh, no, it's ok, we don't want paying back!" everyone apart from Sam - that is.
Sam starts clicking her fingers over everyone's heads and saying "I payed £50 extra and I need it back.
I swear to God I nearly punched her. And a couple of other teenagers started telling their sob stories about how hard their life is and how they had to save up for *months* to be able to come tonight. Then they all turned to face me as if they expected me to tell them a sob story about my life. Getting slightly sick of the drama to be honest.
On the plus side, I stole all the mint imperials from Chinese Buffet. *noms*