why....

[cajunbbwgoddess]

I was asked a question last night that I do not have the answer to.

Why do you hold your lovers to different standards then you do your friends??

I have absolutely no idea why do I this. I have no idea how to go about examining this so I can start to correct it.

Does anyone have any ideas or feedback?

Comments

[cajunbbwgoddess]

does that mean i let things slide that i would normally call my friends out on becuase they are my lover?

[sapphirescarlet]

Its funny - I'm just the opposite. My friends get away with murder, and I always take them back, just remembering that certain topics can't be broached with certain friends. (Until they stab me in the back, then they're history, period, no deposit no return) As a result, because I have no lover, but have sex partners, I treat them more as friends. With one exception. My friends can stand me up and I will shrug it off. Sex partners can only do that once or twice before they aren't welcome any more, or at least need to grovel a bit before they get another piece.

Lovers, on the other hand, are held to MUCH higher standards, because as your friend says, they are far more intimate. They get the inner workings of my brain, stuff no one else gets from me. Big problem there is I tend to take men into confidence without them realizing they're moving from friend to lover status, and they often set me off without knowing why. Its almost always related to the fact that my feelings for them have changed.

[sapphirescarlet]

Can I just say how much I LOOOOOVE!!! your ICON!@!!!!!! OMGOMGOMG!!!!!

[ziggy_prime]

I do the same thing, hon. It has led to no end of grief for me. Most of the women I have been with, the friendship ended when the relationship did because they did not cut muster as friends. I guess, for me, it is because sex is more desireable to me than hanging out, so I put up with more to get it. I know, that seems like a simple answer, but that is all I have come up with. The odd thing is that a great majority of my friends are women.

Weird....

[xxleiliaxx]

there is a great and horrifying testament to this very subject