[my bff, let me show you it]

[cakeandmoney]

 [Because it's some asshole's birthday today, there's a nondescript package on the coffee machine at work with his name on it.]

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Postit left on the billboard in the backroom

[bloodwithcoffee]

...Thanks. You know, normal people don't offer their normal friends this sort of fucked up gift. And I have a pretty good idea who--