Missing You II
Alexander/Hephaistion Fanfic
Title: Missing You II
Pairing: A/H
Rating: PG-13
Warning: Slash (implied), angst
Summary: Alexander’s thoughts while Hephaistion is away on a mission.
A/N: A different take on a scene we all know. The one where Alexander climbs into bed naked and watches Bagoas put out the light.
Disclaimer: Don’t own them. For fun, not profit.
Every time he and Hephaistion were parted, his nights became a torment. During the day Alexander could distract himself with marching, the concerns of running his mobile empire or his army, seeing to the needs of his soldiers and any number of trivial tasks that found their way to his desk. During the day he could pretend that Hephaistion was somewhere about the camp overseeing any one of his numerous duties. That they would see each other at the evening meal and then spend the night in one of their tents talking. And occasionally they would spend the whole night together, sweaty and needful bodies sliding against each other until they were tangled and heavy with spent passion.
But then the day would end and Alexander would join his companions. All of them would assemble to feast, all of his companions except the one he longed to see. His illusion would shatter and leave him heart-sore. How he wished sometimes that his beloved was not so skilled. Or that he had the more normal talents of his other companions. But if he was skilled in only combat, like most of his companions, then he would not be Hephaistion.
He sat down heavily on his couch. Cassander, who had been on the other side of the table, joined him. He took Hephaistion’s usual spot. Alexander grit his teeth as the other man leaned against him. The heady smell of wine hung heavily about him, despite the early hour. A clumsy hand stroked down his arm.
Cassander’s words were hopelessly slurred as he spoke in a loud whisper. “Tell me, Alexander, do you grow lonely while Hephaistion is gone? Is your bed cold at night? Or do you take that Persian eunuch? Perhaps, that’s why you send your ‘beloved’ away. You want someone more skilled and younger, without having to endure Hephaistion’s tearful blue eyes.”
Obviously, Leonnatus, Crateros and Cleitus had joined the other man in their early indulgence. The three sat on the other side of the table, swaying and drunkenly egging him on. Cassander’s hand strayed to his knee. Alexander grabbed it as he tried to move up and caress his thigh. The drunken man gave him a leer that he was sure was supposed to be seductive. “I think that must be it, a desire for something…someone new. But why take that Persian slut when there are so many willing Macedonians who would welcome an invitation to your bed?”
There were hoots of laughter from around the table. All of his companions were several glasses into dinner by now, which was more wine than the food on the table. Most of them were teasing the pair, but Alexander noted a few more calculating looks, even through the wine. Crateros in particular. The older general raised his voice, “Go on, Alexander. Take him or another and see what you have been missing all these years with Hephaistion. Perhaps you’ll find something more to your taste. And if you finally decide that you’ve had enough of your childhood companion, send him my way. There’s always a place in my bed for an arse like that.”
More laughter filled the tent. It was a familiar tease from their boyhood days. When the others were experimenting with each other and the palace servants, and any other willing body, Alexander and Hephaistion had been exclusive lovers. They had withstood the teasing and grown strong for it. Eventually, their friends had lost interest in such taunts.
Alexander wondered what had brought all this on. It had been years since they had spoken thus. At least in front of him. From the comments the other three were tossing back and forth more quietly, he was suspecting that this was not a new conversation between them. And the look in Crateros’ eye put a disquieting feeling in his belly.
Fed up with all the talk, he growled and pushed Cassander off the couch. The other man looked up at him in a drunken haze. He stood and stormed out of the large tent. Alexander stopped and sighed, still under the awning. He probably shouldn’t have reacted that way. If Hephaistion had been there, he would have been able to shrug off the teasing. Or his lover would have teased them right back. Sooner or later the conversation would have turned again and be forgotten. Now the evening would stick in their minds.
It was pointless to return to the meal, so Alexander headed for his tent. If he couldn’t share a meal with his companions he could at least finish some work. Bagoas had his tent lit and heated. He entered the welcoming tent and went to his desk. Maps, reports and letters sat waiting for him. There were always stacks of papers waiting for him. And without Hephaistion’s help it took forever. Even with his help it took forever.
Night was long settled on the land when Alexander put aside his work. Stretching out the kinks in his back, he stood and moved to the side board. He hadn’t eaten more than a few bites earlier before Cassander’s horrid seduction. Eating enough to quiet his stomach, Alexander washed it down with a goblet of wine.
Bagoas came to help him prepare to sleep. The eunuch moved with quiet grace and practiced movements. He was quite attractive. Exotic. Alexander knew perfectly well what his men thought about him keeping the young boy. Well, let them. There was only one man that his body craved. Only one man he had ever wanted.
He didn’t blame his companions for not understanding. There were few who would understand the bond between them. Hephaistion was…indefinable. He was everything that Alexander could ever desire wrapped in sinfully delicious flesh. Why would he ever look at another with longing when he, self admittedly, held the heart of a man that filled his heart and soul with joy, lavished pleasure on his body, soothed his mind and eased his burdens in everyway possible.
No, they didn’t understand. But how could they. There was only one Hephaistion in all the world and few enough men like him. To find such a boon companion was a sure sign of blessings from the Gods. And to have found him so young, Alexander counted himself doubly blessed. So, nay, his eye didn’t turn to others when they were parted. He suffered through their separation and relished their reunion.
Ah, father Zeus, how he longed to hold Hephaistion after a day like today. The confrontation with Cassander had unsettled him and not even the long hours of paper work had driven it from his mind. Sleep would be long in coming.
Alexander stripped off his clothes and climbed into his bed. Laying back, he watched as Bagoas put out the last light and took himself off to sleep in a small section of the tent set aside for him. He restlessly stroked the pillow that sat next to his head. It was Hephaistion’s. After his lover had discovered him curled up with his pillow in Babylon Hephaistion had taken to leaving it in his bed whenever he had to leave on a mission.
It carried the comforting scent of his lover. Closing his eyes, Alexander stroked it and pretended that it was Hephaistion’s cheek. He wondered what his lover might be doing at the moment. Was he asleep? Would he be lying awake and wishing for Alexander? Was he safe and well guarded?
The last question was truly the most important. Not knowing was one of the hardest parts of their separation. How was he to know if Hephaistion was well? There were plenty of men who would kill travelers without second thought to get what they needed or wanted.
Alexander forced his thoughts away from such unpleasant topics. He would know in his heart if something were wrong with Hephaistion. He rolled onto his side and pulled the pillow close and hugged it to his chest. It was a poor substitute for his lover, but it did bring him a measure of comfort. And soon, a week or less, he would have the real thing in his arms again.
His restless mind continued turning over thoughts of Hephaistion, his rotten evening, Bagoas, Crateros, Cassander and his other companions. Ay, his patience for them was thin without his lover around. Many hours passed and the sun was starting to grow light again when his body finally succumbed to exhaustion and forced his mind to take a break. Alexander’s’ final thought was that another arduous night had passed without his beloved and he would soon have to conjure his illusions for yet other wearying day.
Title: Missing You II
Pairing: A/H
Rating: PG-13
Warning: Slash (implied), angst
Summary: Alexander’s thoughts while Hephaistion is away on a mission.
A/N: A different take on a scene we all know. The one where Alexander climbs into bed naked and watches Bagoas put out the light.
Disclaimer: Don’t own them. For fun, not profit.
Every time he and Hephaistion were parted, his nights became a torment. During the day Alexander could distract himself with marching, the concerns of running his mobile empire or his army, seeing to the needs of his soldiers and any number of trivial tasks that found their way to his desk. During the day he could pretend that Hephaistion was somewhere about the camp overseeing any one of his numerous duties. That they would see each other at the evening meal and then spend the night in one of their tents talking. And occasionally they would spend the whole night together, sweaty and needful bodies sliding against each other until they were tangled and heavy with spent passion.
But then the day would end and Alexander would join his companions. All of them would assemble to feast, all of his companions except the one he longed to see. His illusion would shatter and leave him heart-sore. How he wished sometimes that his beloved was not so skilled. Or that he had the more normal talents of his other companions. But if he was skilled in only combat, like most of his companions, then he would not be Hephaistion.
He sat down heavily on his couch. Cassander, who had been on the other side of the table, joined him. He took Hephaistion’s usual spot. Alexander grit his teeth as the other man leaned against him. The heady smell of wine hung heavily about him, despite the early hour. A clumsy hand stroked down his arm.
Cassander’s words were hopelessly slurred as he spoke in a loud whisper. “Tell me, Alexander, do you grow lonely while Hephaistion is gone? Is your bed cold at night? Or do you take that Persian eunuch? Perhaps, that’s why you send your ‘beloved’ away. You want someone more skilled and younger, without having to endure Hephaistion’s tearful blue eyes.”
Obviously, Leonnatus, Crateros and Cleitus had joined the other man in their early indulgence. The three sat on the other side of the table, swaying and drunkenly egging him on. Cassander’s hand strayed to his knee. Alexander grabbed it as he tried to move up and caress his thigh. The drunken man gave him a leer that he was sure was supposed to be seductive. “I think that must be it, a desire for something…someone new. But why take that Persian slut when there are so many willing Macedonians who would welcome an invitation to your bed?”
There were hoots of laughter from around the table. All of his companions were several glasses into dinner by now, which was more wine than the food on the table. Most of them were teasing the pair, but Alexander noted a few more calculating looks, even through the wine. Crateros in particular. The older general raised his voice, “Go on, Alexander. Take him or another and see what you have been missing all these years with Hephaistion. Perhaps you’ll find something more to your taste. And if you finally decide that you’ve had enough of your childhood companion, send him my way. There’s always a place in my bed for an arse like that.”
More laughter filled the tent. It was a familiar tease from their boyhood days. When the others were experimenting with each other and the palace servants, and any other willing body, Alexander and Hephaistion had been exclusive lovers. They had withstood the teasing and grown strong for it. Eventually, their friends had lost interest in such taunts.
Alexander wondered what had brought all this on. It had been years since they had spoken thus. At least in front of him. From the comments the other three were tossing back and forth more quietly, he was suspecting that this was not a new conversation between them. And the look in Crateros’ eye put a disquieting feeling in his belly.
Fed up with all the talk, he growled and pushed Cassander off the couch. The other man looked up at him in a drunken haze. He stood and stormed out of the large tent. Alexander stopped and sighed, still under the awning. He probably shouldn’t have reacted that way. If Hephaistion had been there, he would have been able to shrug off the teasing. Or his lover would have teased them right back. Sooner or later the conversation would have turned again and be forgotten. Now the evening would stick in their minds.
It was pointless to return to the meal, so Alexander headed for his tent. If he couldn’t share a meal with his companions he could at least finish some work. Bagoas had his tent lit and heated. He entered the welcoming tent and went to his desk. Maps, reports and letters sat waiting for him. There were always stacks of papers waiting for him. And without Hephaistion’s help it took forever. Even with his help it took forever.
Night was long settled on the land when Alexander put aside his work. Stretching out the kinks in his back, he stood and moved to the side board. He hadn’t eaten more than a few bites earlier before Cassander’s horrid seduction. Eating enough to quiet his stomach, Alexander washed it down with a goblet of wine.
Bagoas came to help him prepare to sleep. The eunuch moved with quiet grace and practiced movements. He was quite attractive. Exotic. Alexander knew perfectly well what his men thought about him keeping the young boy. Well, let them. There was only one man that his body craved. Only one man he had ever wanted.
He didn’t blame his companions for not understanding. There were few who would understand the bond between them. Hephaistion was…indefinable. He was everything that Alexander could ever desire wrapped in sinfully delicious flesh. Why would he ever look at another with longing when he, self admittedly, held the heart of a man that filled his heart and soul with joy, lavished pleasure on his body, soothed his mind and eased his burdens in everyway possible.
No, they didn’t understand. But how could they. There was only one Hephaistion in all the world and few enough men like him. To find such a boon companion was a sure sign of blessings from the Gods. And to have found him so young, Alexander counted himself doubly blessed. So, nay, his eye didn’t turn to others when they were parted. He suffered through their separation and relished their reunion.
Ah, father Zeus, how he longed to hold Hephaistion after a day like today. The confrontation with Cassander had unsettled him and not even the long hours of paper work had driven it from his mind. Sleep would be long in coming.
Alexander stripped off his clothes and climbed into his bed. Laying back, he watched as Bagoas put out the last light and took himself off to sleep in a small section of the tent set aside for him. He restlessly stroked the pillow that sat next to his head. It was Hephaistion’s. After his lover had discovered him curled up with his pillow in Babylon Hephaistion had taken to leaving it in his bed whenever he had to leave on a mission.
It carried the comforting scent of his lover. Closing his eyes, Alexander stroked it and pretended that it was Hephaistion’s cheek. He wondered what his lover might be doing at the moment. Was he asleep? Would he be lying awake and wishing for Alexander? Was he safe and well guarded?
The last question was truly the most important. Not knowing was one of the hardest parts of their separation. How was he to know if Hephaistion was well? There were plenty of men who would kill travelers without second thought to get what they needed or wanted.
Alexander forced his thoughts away from such unpleasant topics. He would know in his heart if something were wrong with Hephaistion. He rolled onto his side and pulled the pillow close and hugged it to his chest. It was a poor substitute for his lover, but it did bring him a measure of comfort. And soon, a week or less, he would have the real thing in his arms again.
His restless mind continued turning over thoughts of Hephaistion, his rotten evening, Bagoas, Crateros, Cassander and his other companions. Ay, his patience for them was thin without his lover around. Many hours passed and the sun was starting to grow light again when his body finally succumbed to exhaustion and forced his mind to take a break. Alexander’s’ final thought was that another arduous night had passed without his beloved and he would soon have to conjure his illusions for yet other wearying day.