しげりごと "Shigerigoto" Photo & Essay - Toilet & Earring
Second to last translation before I finish the whole pamphlet. The first essay is probably the inspiration for his infamous toilet skit. Enjoy!
"Toilet"
Tuesday at 13:41 (1:41pm) at the Omotesando intersection. Right now, I have a terrible stomachache. Even I know the reason why. I woke up because my stomach was growling so I went to the refrigerator, and although the eggs were one month past the expiration date, I made tamago kakegohan* with them anyway. Maybe it's because I was half asleep, but it seems like the taste of it was very strange, and I felt really unpleasant. This is the result of that. Ahhh.... Gradually the egg was irritating my stomach. Because I ate it, because I didn't think that eating a month old egg would be out of the question, my stomach is now outrageously irritated. With my irritated stomach, now I have an outrageous stomachache.
More and more it gets harder to bear, and then I spotted a dirty restroom and rushed in. I calmed down a bit, but then when I was casually looking at my surroundings there was something strange. From the outside it seemed like it was supposed to be a dirty public restroom, but I wondered why the toilet was very clean. Strange. Normally this stall would be full of graffiti. Something like "OO is an idiot" or a cell phone number pointing to the name of a famous person would be written here. But why in this dirty restroom were the walls completely white? Eh, whatever. I don't really understand but I finished my business and quickly went to leave.
As I was thinking, the instant I stood up, from the bottom of the stall door a piece of paper and a pen came out. What is this? I had a bad feeling about it as I picked it up. The paper had this written on it:
"Please express the number one complaint that you have on this piece of paper."
Haa? Why do I have to do something like this? I've got a bad feeling. Thinking that, I thought of just pushing the paper and pen back underneath. Hmm? Wait a minute here. Who and for what purpose is somebody shoving papers and pens underneath the stalls? With that thought, the reverse of my ideas got me excited. What would happen if I had expressed my complaints? It would be shocking! Wouldn't I like to see it? Hahaha. Alright, why don't we try writing them? Now I would definitely write this: "Why were there rotten eggs in the refrigerator!?" is what I scribbled on that paper, and then I curled it up and threw it into the toilet bowl. Ahh--. ...I expressed my complaints but I didn't feel any different. Pfft. Definitely some guy's dirty trick. I still remained there as an idiot. Then when I started to leave the stall, another piece of paper came from the bottom. Stop kidding around with me! I don't want to stay in here any longer!
Feeling really annoyed I started to turn the door knob. But, the door wouldn't open. No matter how many times I tried to pull it just wouldn't open. Crap!! What the hell!! I picked up the piece of paper again. On the piece of paper was this: "Please write the number one complaint you have on this piece of paper. That was not your number one complaint. Until you write that complaint the door will not open." Ehh? What? How does he know? I look around me but I didn't notice any cameras. This is too scary. I want to run away and break down the door, but as expected the door still won't open. It's impossible. I can't get out. Is the only way out to write it down? As a strange sweat flowed down my cheek, I wrote my complaint. "It's OO's fault that I have to go to work!" Then I flushed it down the toilet. Then I went to open the door. But the door won't open. Another paper came out. I read it. "Please write down the number one complaint you have on this piece of paper. That was not your number one complaint. Until you write it down the door will not open." Stop screwing around! There are no more! Not only that I know that it won't open. I can only write. "OO's attitude is bad!" "OO doesn't suit those clothes!" "It's 10 years too early to be ignoring me you old bastard!" ....... I wrote down so many but still, the door won't open. I've already thrown 23 complaints. Soon I'll use up all of them. As if I couldn't bear the content of the papers up until now, when I looked back, that's when I realized it. The 23 complaints I wrote on those pieces of paper were the numerous words used to describe this dirty public restroom. The hateful words that I had, there were so many of them inside my heart. Fu. Fuhahaha. While grinning widely, I wrote this on the 24th piece of paper. "The fact that I have this many foul thoughts in my head."
......Right now I'm walking from Omotesando to Shibuya. It's 14:03 (2:03pm).
*Tamago kakegohan is raw egg, rice, and maybe a little soy sauce. It's popular among Japanese college kids who can't cook.
----
"Earring"
I lost a earring that I liked. When I started to forget about it, I found it in the back of my drawer. Gladly I looked in the mirror and tried it on. It didn't suit me. I still liked wearing it though. Nowadays I don't like it that much. The color of the piercing wore away a little bit. No, that's not it. It's because I've changed.
When I moved into a new house I set a table down. Why does it look more beautiful than it did in the past? When it was brand new it increasingly became my favorite table. But because I didn't use it the color faded away. No, that's not it. The one who changed was me.
Anything can look dull, anything can look bright. That's because I have changed. That's why the person I am now has brightened a little bit from who I was in the past.
"Toilet"
Tuesday at 13:41 (1:41pm) at the Omotesando intersection. Right now, I have a terrible stomachache. Even I know the reason why. I woke up because my stomach was growling so I went to the refrigerator, and although the eggs were one month past the expiration date, I made tamago kakegohan* with them anyway. Maybe it's because I was half asleep, but it seems like the taste of it was very strange, and I felt really unpleasant. This is the result of that. Ahhh.... Gradually the egg was irritating my stomach. Because I ate it, because I didn't think that eating a month old egg would be out of the question, my stomach is now outrageously irritated. With my irritated stomach, now I have an outrageous stomachache.
More and more it gets harder to bear, and then I spotted a dirty restroom and rushed in. I calmed down a bit, but then when I was casually looking at my surroundings there was something strange. From the outside it seemed like it was supposed to be a dirty public restroom, but I wondered why the toilet was very clean. Strange. Normally this stall would be full of graffiti. Something like "OO is an idiot" or a cell phone number pointing to the name of a famous person would be written here. But why in this dirty restroom were the walls completely white? Eh, whatever. I don't really understand but I finished my business and quickly went to leave.
As I was thinking, the instant I stood up, from the bottom of the stall door a piece of paper and a pen came out. What is this? I had a bad feeling about it as I picked it up. The paper had this written on it:
"Please express the number one complaint that you have on this piece of paper."
Haa? Why do I have to do something like this? I've got a bad feeling. Thinking that, I thought of just pushing the paper and pen back underneath. Hmm? Wait a minute here. Who and for what purpose is somebody shoving papers and pens underneath the stalls? With that thought, the reverse of my ideas got me excited. What would happen if I had expressed my complaints? It would be shocking! Wouldn't I like to see it? Hahaha. Alright, why don't we try writing them? Now I would definitely write this: "Why were there rotten eggs in the refrigerator!?" is what I scribbled on that paper, and then I curled it up and threw it into the toilet bowl. Ahh--. ...I expressed my complaints but I didn't feel any different. Pfft. Definitely some guy's dirty trick. I still remained there as an idiot. Then when I started to leave the stall, another piece of paper came from the bottom. Stop kidding around with me! I don't want to stay in here any longer!
Feeling really annoyed I started to turn the door knob. But, the door wouldn't open. No matter how many times I tried to pull it just wouldn't open. Crap!! What the hell!! I picked up the piece of paper again. On the piece of paper was this: "Please write the number one complaint you have on this piece of paper. That was not your number one complaint. Until you write that complaint the door will not open." Ehh? What? How does he know? I look around me but I didn't notice any cameras. This is too scary. I want to run away and break down the door, but as expected the door still won't open. It's impossible. I can't get out. Is the only way out to write it down? As a strange sweat flowed down my cheek, I wrote my complaint. "It's OO's fault that I have to go to work!" Then I flushed it down the toilet. Then I went to open the door. But the door won't open. Another paper came out. I read it. "Please write down the number one complaint you have on this piece of paper. That was not your number one complaint. Until you write it down the door will not open." Stop screwing around! There are no more! Not only that I know that it won't open. I can only write. "OO's attitude is bad!" "OO doesn't suit those clothes!" "It's 10 years too early to be ignoring me you old bastard!" ....... I wrote down so many but still, the door won't open. I've already thrown 23 complaints. Soon I'll use up all of them. As if I couldn't bear the content of the papers up until now, when I looked back, that's when I realized it. The 23 complaints I wrote on those pieces of paper were the numerous words used to describe this dirty public restroom. The hateful words that I had, there were so many of them inside my heart. Fu. Fuhahaha. While grinning widely, I wrote this on the 24th piece of paper. "The fact that I have this many foul thoughts in my head."
......Right now I'm walking from Omotesando to Shibuya. It's 14:03 (2:03pm).
*Tamago kakegohan is raw egg, rice, and maybe a little soy sauce. It's popular among Japanese college kids who can't cook.
----
"Earring"
I lost a earring that I liked. When I started to forget about it, I found it in the back of my drawer. Gladly I looked in the mirror and tried it on. It didn't suit me. I still liked wearing it though. Nowadays I don't like it that much. The color of the piercing wore away a little bit. No, that's not it. It's because I've changed.
When I moved into a new house I set a table down. Why does it look more beautiful than it did in the past? When it was brand new it increasingly became my favorite table. But because I didn't use it the color faded away. No, that's not it. The one who changed was me.
Anything can look dull, anything can look bright. That's because I have changed. That's why the person I am now has brightened a little bit from who I was in the past.