Thank you so much for writing to me on this subject. The issue of what to tell a child after some sort of action has had to be taken for infertility is one that exists on the periphery of our attention right now. Depending on the medical outcome of my own progress, it will become a discussion that will take center stage.

I have thought long and hard about the kind of response that is appropriate to the child. I have always believed that a lie is something one will always pay for later on, so I'd prefer to avoid those, however there are complexities involved. For instance, as with yourself, poorly handled information about adoption can lead to truly complex situations later on. With sperm donation, often the donor has no interest in being contacted and yet the child later has a great deal of difficulty in accepting this. I am not sure as to what is best.

Right now we have other issues to resolve, but have no doubt that we will be struggling with the above in the future.

There is nowhere to hide and if perhaps one other person out there feels a little less isolated in their own experience, than this is worthwhile.