Moving On 1/1
Title: Moving On 1/1
Author: Calie
Rating: K
Summary: Three months after the events of Doomsday Oliver comes back to Metropolis to see Chloe and put the past behind them.
Notes: This is just a one-shot. I wrote it in hopes of getting out of a writinng slump, but I'm not quite sure how much it helped since it took me a couple of weeks just to finish this one-shot. So reviews would be great at motivating me to get writinng again.
For two days he’d watched her movements, waiting, and thinking. His intention when he’d first arrived in Metropolis after three months of being away was that he would just go to her, attempt to put everything behind them and move forward, even if it wasn’t under the best of circumstances. When he knocked at her door two days ago it hadn’t been Chloe standing on the other side though, but Lois.
“You have a lot of nerve showing up here.” Lois snarled angrily.
Oliver stepped back fully prepared for her to slam the door in his face. He had no clue what had fired her up, but Lois angry about anything was never good. “Really? Why?”
“You’re serious right? Pulling your usual disappearing ac andt then you want to show up like all is forgiven.”
He looked at her strangely. Oliver replayed the events leading up to Davis’ demise and couldn’t think of anything he should have apologized for. “I didn’t know I needed to be forgiven.”
Lois stuck her head into the hallway and peaked around the corner before grabbing him by the lapels of his jacket and yanking him through the door.
Oliver stumbled in and turned around to find Lois staring angrily at him, door now closed. “Nice to see you to Lois. I’m so glad you’re doing well.”
“Normally I would have been angry at your lack of even a phone call after my return, but there are obviously more pressing matters. Aren’t there?” She poked him roughly in the chest and narrowed her eyes.
“Lois, get to the point.”
“Chloe. I know what happened.” She frowned. “Some of it. Jimmy, Davis, Clark, and you. One day I’m here and the next everyone is gone.”
“And that was my fault?” By the pointed look she gave him it wasn’t hard to determine that she thought it was.
“You left.”
“And so did Clark.” He defended himself. “I don’t live in Metropolis you know. I thought you and I had come to that understanding a long time ago.”
“Leave us out of this. And Clark. I will deal with him in my own time.” Her eyes lost focus for a moment as if she appeared to get side tracked at the thought of Clark, but she quickly regained her focus. “I’m talking about you. Jimmy wasn’t in the ground one hour and you were already gone, leaving Chloe here by herself.”
“I didn’t know I was her keeper.” He grounded out, for the first time becoming angry. It didn’t take him long to realize where she was going with this. The truth was Oliver left Metropolis as soon as he could. Not only did he not want to remain where all of the heat was, but then there was Chloe.
“You were her friend. I know she was working for you and your little gang of dress up pals.”
“She still is.” Even though Oliver had left Metropolis Chloe had still remained a valuable member of their team. Some part of him hated to admit that he needed her expertise when all he wanted to do was be done with her.
“Do you even know what she lost, what she’s given up for Clark, for your ‘team’?”
“She’s a big girl and makes her own decisions. No one forced her to give up her life.” But Lois had hit something with her words, and that old guilt tried to creep back up. Oliver held it at bay though, as he had become accustomed to doing.
“And what do you do in return? You desert her. Leave her here by herself. Her best friend leaves her, her husband is killed and you just pick up and leave without any thought to her well being.”
“Get off of it Lois.” He looked away and shook his head angrily. For so long he’d held back his anger and feelings of betrayal, not even voicing them when the other members of the team asked about Chloe and why they had picked up and left so quickly. But with Lois there pointing her accusing finger in his direction, backing him into a corner, he couldn’t hold it in any longer. “You know, it wasn’t me that took off with a monster. Chloe and Clark spent so much time worrying about this monsters well being, well look were it got them.”
“She was trying to do the right thing.” Lois’ voice still held conviction, but upon his outburst had seemed to calm somewhat.
“Well her definition of the right thing is obviously skewered.”
“It wasn’t about him you idiot.” Lois’ face twisted in disgust and she stepped closer to him. “Sure she wanted to help him, but don’t you think she was ultimately trying to protect her friends, you, Jimmy, Clark? The only way she knew to do that was to sacrifice herself. And you selfishly take that as a betrayal on you. It isn’t all about you Oliver.” She paused as if waiting for him to respond, but when he didn’t she continued. “For the past three months she’s lived in this apartment like some hermit! I’ve been doing her groceries, every few days trying to cook for her. And trust me I can’t cook.” Lois took a deep breath and stepped back from him. “The most she even leave the house is to walk to the coffee shop and that damn bookstore.”
Oliver’s eyes strayed around her apartment and fully took in the stray books and magazines littering Chloe’s apartment. Nothing was really out of place, but the entire area was filled with neat stacks of reading material. It took over shelves, tables, coffee tables, magazine racks, underneath the table, the corner of the sofa, the kitchen table. Everywhere. When he turned back to Lois she was looking up at him expectantly. But he refused to be swayed.
“Don’t you even care?” She shook her head and looked up at him with confusion.
“No.” It was so easy to say it, and he couldn’t have made anyone believe he meant it.
“You’re lying.” His face was firm and void of emotion, but it was his determination not to show any emotion that gave him away. “I know what Chloe did wasn’t the best option. But no one held it against her, not even Jimmy.” She narrowed her eyes at him as if she was studying him. “What is your problem? Why are you so mad at her?” His eyes flicked away from her for a moment, but she didn’t miss it. “You took this personally didn’t you?” When he didn’t deny anything, she jumped on it. “This was more then you thinking Chloe making the wrong decision, betraying you’re little super hero gang. You took this personally.” She narrowed her eyes and stared up at him, taking in his face, studying him. “Do you like her?”
“This is ridiculous.” Oliver turned around and grabbed the handle of the door but Lois shoved him hard to the side. “Lois, get out of the way.”
“That’s it. You like her don’t you?” She grinned like a cheshire cat. When he moved again for the door she moved to stand in front of it.
“Lois, don’t think I won’t push you out the way.” But she was determined; he could see it in her eyes. There was no way she was letting him out of that apartment. Even if he could escape she’d probably follow him, determined to make his life miserable.
“No. You ran off, pouting. Your feelings were hurt, and as usual it was all about you.” He didn’t say anything to confirm or deny her suspicions, but with each passing second she became more confident. “How long has it been? Before she got married? After? Before Davis and that monster came into her life? Is that why you helped Jimmy? Guilt that the whole time you had been lusting after his wife?”
For the first time ever Oliver wondered what he had ever seen in Lois because at the moment all he wanted to do was throttle her. He should have forced her out tee way. Trust Lois to break down the walls he had so carefully built up. “Great investigative skills Lois. You’re such a top notch reporter.” He bit out nastily. “Want a medal?”
That was all of the confirmation she needed. “No. I want to know why a man, who obviously likes a woman, takes off when there is no one else and she obviously needs him the most.”
“I guess I’m just not the great guy you thought me to be.” As much as he wanted to deny what she said he knew it was true. At the time he had been so overcome with anger at her actions that some part of him felt she deserved to hurt.
“I think you’re acting like a baby and need to grow up. I didn’t know you could be so petty and leave her here to be miserable just because your feelings were hurt. I mean don’t you even care about her or is it all about you?”
“Of course I care!” He breathed heavily as if he had just thrown off some huge weight. “So I was mad. Get over it.” She looked slightly affronted by his outburst but he didn’t care. “I probably wasn’t as forgiving as I should be. But did that stop her from picking up the phone one time; instead she just retreated into herself!”
“What did you expect?! You left! Her husband was dead! Her best friend left. I was gone! What the hell did you want Oliver?! For her to crawl to you on her knees begging for forgiveness when she could barely get out of bed in the morning and make it through the day? If you wanted her to be punished for what she did then you got your wish.”
“That isn’t what I wanted.” Being away for so long it had been easy for him to put Chloe out of his mind. Standing there in her apartment seeing the stacks of books that she must of poured herself into, and listening to Lois explain the last three months of Chloe life, made it a lot harder for him to remember who had been right and wrong.
“It doesn’t matter what you wanted.” Lois said more quietly. “Don’t leave here without talking to her. I’m going to forget we ever had this conversation. But you better talk to her. If you really care then you’d do everything in your power to fix this.” Hesitantly, Lois stepped away from the door. When he moved to grab it she knocked his hand out the way and stepped in front of him. “And if you hurt her again, it will be the last thing you ever do. I’ll make sure your face is plastered all over the Daily Planet for the rest of your worthless life. And the headlines won’t be kind.” Then she smiled. “Nice to see you again Oliver.”
“A pleasure.” He sneered and grabbed the door as soon as she stepped to the side again.
For two days he’d just watched her, for some reason wanting to confirm for himself what Lois claimed to be Chloe’s daily routine. Lois, it would seem, had been right. Every day after lunch Chloe would leave her apartment and walk to the small little bookstore. She hadn’t changed much. For some reason he had expected her to look different, but too his relief she seemed mostly unchanged except for longer hair and a slight drop it weight, but nothing that appeared to be to noticeable.
She’d leave the book store, always with one bag, and stop on her way home at the coffee shop. She never stayed though like the other patrons. Then she’d head back to her apartment.
At night he’d perched himself on another building, just watching. He made sure never to watch to long, out of concern that he was bordering on stalkerish behavior. Even at home her life was routine. Lois showed up one night, but besides that she worked on her computer, read, and went to bed by midnight.
It was on the third day of watching her that she got in her car and drove to the cemetery where Jimmy was buried. Oliver didn’t get out, but remained watching from distance. Chloe was home by lunch time and around one, like clock work, she was once again walking out of her apartment taking her usual route.
That’s where Oliver had currently found himself, trailing behind her in Metropolis mid-day traffic, trying to figure out what the hell it was he was doing. He’d wanted proof of what Lois had said, and he’d found it. In the end it only made him feel worse.
She was still two blocks from the bookstore when she slowed and stopped, took a seat at a bench, and buried her face in her hands. Passerby’s on the street slowed and stared at her, no one really sure what to do about the crying girl. The whole while as he inched closer he could hear Lois in his head, reminding him that Chloe hadn’t had anyone. When he came close enough that he knew he would have to hit the gas to avoid being seen by her, instead he stopped and rolled down the window. “Get in.” Her head lifted up, eyes filled with tears, and stared at him. “I’m not leaving you sitting on tee side of the street. Get in.” To his relief she stood up and walked hurriedly to his car. As soon as the door shut he yanked the shifter into drive and pressed his foot to the gas.
“What are you doing here?” Chloe watched him with something close to shock. For some reason even with Clark gone she would have expected him to swoop in and pick her up, not Oliver in his fancy, fast car.
“I thought we could talk.” He could feel her eyes on him as she drove. “Where were you heading?”
In the back of her mind Chloe had realized he had asked her a question, but she couldn’t find the words. It wasn’t until he turned to face her that she found the ability to speak. “Oh, um the book store.” She wiped the tears from her face and sniffled.
“Where is it?” Her eyes narrowed in confusion, as if she had totally lost track of the conversation in a matter of seconds. “The bookstore.”
“Oh.” Chloe shook her head and turned to look in front of her. “Up ahead. On Hollygrove and Esplanade.” They made the rest of the drive in silence. When she caught site of the modest bookstore sign she fully expected him to pull up to the curb and let her out, regardless of his statement about wanting to talk. Instead he drove passed the book store and yanked the car roughly into the first available parking spot around the corner. Chloe exited the car hesitantly and glanced behind her at Oliver who was exiting the car. “I mean I know you said you wanted to talk, but really, what are you doing in Metropolis.”
“Like I said,” Oliver fell into step with her, “I wanted to talk to you.”
“You didn’t come all the way here from Star City just to talk to me when I’m only a phone call away.” She glanced over at him and forced herself to meet his hardened eyes.
“Yes.” At that point she didn’t push it, and they continued on their way to the bookstore in silence.
There were so many things that Chloe could say, but Oliver was the one who said he wanted to talk so she waited. They entered the bookstore in silence and Chloe waved at the young woman behind the counter. Usually, she made the walk to the bookstore on her own. On a few rare occasions Lois had accompanied her, but she quickly got bored and Chloe found her distracting.
“So what have you been doing?” It wasn’t that he didn’t know. But Oliver figured it was the best way to start conversation with someone he hadn’t seen in three months.
“No much.” Chloe said and browsed the books in front of her. “I’ve been doing some free lance work on the side.” Chloe turned to him. “And your stuff.” Even after his disappearance she still had functioned in the capacity as Watchtower, only from miles away.
“And Clark?”
Chloe sighed and turned back to the shelves. “After he found Lois he took off again. I didn’t even see him. But you didn’t come here to talk about Clark.”
“No.” Oliver followed behind her, content to do so in silence. Even after the time that had elapsed after his confrontation with Lois, Oliver was still no closer to a plan on how to approach Chloe. Above all he wanted to resolve the tension between them. She seemed to hold him no ill will, but what happened was still there between them, unspoken. At one point it would have to be talked about. Then there was his other problem, the one Lois had so easily discovered. As dense as she could be at times, never knowing his secret identity, Clarks, or even the secrets Chloe kept, she somehow had seen right through him. There was only one way to explain his sudden departure. “So you haven’t had any problems then?”
“No.” Chloe shrugged and picked up a book off the shelf to read the back. “I mean with everyone gone there isn’t too much trouble to come my way. It’s kind of strange.” Chloe slid the book back and retrieved another. “I mean Tess is still hanging about. But I don’t think she considers me much trouble. Besides, she’s focused much of her attention on trying to find Clark and make Lois’ life miserable.”
“How is that working for her?” He asked with mild interest.
“Well she won’t find Clark.” Chloe slid the book back and began heading towards the magazine section. “And I think Lois is making her life more miserable.”
He couldn’t help but smirk. “I’m not surprised.” He watched her begin pulling various magazines from the shelf and when she turned to him with a fair sized stack in her arm she frowned.
Chloe hadn’t missed the look he gave her. “It’s the beginning of the month. They’re all new.”
“I didn’t say a word.” He followed her to the checkout and out of the store in silence. It wasn’t until they were driving again that he spoke. “Anywhere else?”
“No, just home.” She waited for him to say something else, but he only nodded. For someone who claimed they had something to talk to her about he hadn’t said much. They pulled up in front of her apartment building and it wasn’t until she made to reach for the door knob that he spoke.
“I’m sorry.” Oliver blurted out suddenly. He could see her walking out of his life if he let her out of his car. She settled back into the seat, but didn’t turn to face him. “For how it all happened. I was mad and upset so I left. I shouldn’t have.”
Chloe wet her lips and sighed. “I wasn’t mad at you.” Disappointed maybe and hurt more then anything. But she’d made certain decisions that she still didn’t know if they had been right or wrong. All she knew is she lost everything. “And I’m not even mad at Clark. Not many things wound up going my way in the end. Almost everything went wrong. I learned a lot of things from what happened three months ago. One of the biggest was not to hold hard feelings against anyone; you don’t know how long they’ll be around for.” She turned to him and smiled sadly. “You don’t have to apologize to me.”
Her small speech reminded him of how he had felt when his mother scolded him, told him how disappointed his actions had made her. Chloe hadn’t said anything mean to him. She hadn’t screamed at him, reminded him of how much pain she had been in, of how alone she was, of what she’d been through, and told him that her sins were no worse then his. Instead she’d sat there admitting that her plans had gone haywire and didn’t hold anything against him. Yet she still didn’t fully understand. “Chloe…” She sat there waiting patiently, but he couldn’t say it. “Look, I want to talk to you, but I have an appointment.” The truth being he wasn’t quite prepared to spill his guts yet, especially in his car. “Are you busy tonight?”
“No.” Chloe shook her head. She hadn’t been busy for a while. But what else was left to be said she wasn’t sure. He didn’t appear to be upset with her any longer and if all he was looking for was her forgiveness he should have been satisfied.
“Why don’t you come over for six?” Now he’d made the commitment, there was no getting out of it.
“Okay.” She nodded. Chloe reached down for her purse and purchases and turned back to him. “Thanks for the ride.” She opened the door and stepped out. Before she was able to shut the door he spoke.
“Don’t eat dinner.” Something bothered him about that statement. It reminded him more of a situation of dating someone, not meeting a friend.
Chloe nodded to him and shut the door. She stood on the curb and watched him pull away.
Chloe had been slightly anxious at Oliver’s dinner proposal. Even before he had disappeared, before the confrontation with Davis, they hadn’t been on the best of terms. Each with their own differing opinion. But to her relief everything was casual. He made some kind of pasta, offered her wine, and they ate at the bar in the kitchen. Nothing was said of the past. It wasn’t until he took her plate, not allowing her to help with the clean up, and refilled her wine glass, did she have the sneaking suspicion that something was going to happen. “How long are you going to be here for?”
“A little while.” Oliver dropped some of the remaining dishes into the sink and resolved to worry about cleaning them later. “I’ve got some catching up to do on some things in Metropolis. Purely business related.” And some not so business related he added to himself silently.
“Is everything okay?” She watched him closely as wiped the surfaces of the counter.
His first response was to lie to her and tell her yes. But then that would have totally defeated the purpose of inviting her over. Oliver rested his hands on the edge of the counter and leaned against it, hanging his head low.
“Oliver?”
“Look.” Oliver pushed himself off the counter and walked around it to take his seat in front of her. “I just don’t think you understand why I left.”
“You were mad.” Chloe said simply as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.
“That isn’t the point. There was more to it then that.” It wouldn’t end well. He knew that. How did you tell a woman that had lost almost everything and her husband that you had feelings for her without driving her away? “If we were just friends. It wouldn’t have happened that way.”
“I don’t understand.” Chloe shook her head in confusion. “I mean we are friends. I mean it’s an odd friendship. But I always considered us friends. Right?”
Oliver sighed and rubbed his face. She wasn’t getting it and he knew it didn’t help that he was being so cryptic. “You liked Clark right?” She seemed a little taken aback but his sudden question. “I don’t mean now. But for some time you liked him as more then a friend didn’t you?”
“Yes.” She still wasn’t quite sure where he was going with it, but she played along. “In fact for longer then some time.”
“But you were only just a friend to him.” She nodded at his question, still obviously confused. “How many times did it bother you to see him with someone? How much did it hurt you when he’d go off, leaving you to help someone else, even when it was Lois or Lana.”
Chloe sighed and looked away. She wanted to deny it, especially when she knew the whole time that it had been petty. “You’re right. I was only a friend to him. It did hurt.”
“It’s not an excuse. What I did was wrong.” Her look was still one of confusion. How was it that Lois saw right through him when Chloe didn’t? “How you felt, about Clark. That’s why I left.”
“Oliver.” Chloe drew her brow together and shook her head. “I don’t get it. I mean I had feelings for Clark. That’s what made it hurt I mean we’re friends. It isn’t like that with us. You don’t have feelings for me like that.” As soon as she said it she expected him to agree, to tell her she was right, it wasn’t like that. But there was silence, he only stared at her, and then it sunk it. She opened her mouth to speak then shut it again quickly. What was she supposed to say? The silence ate away at her and she knew she had to say something. “I don’t know what to say.”
“You don’t have to say anything.” Oliver stood back up, unable to stay within such close proximity to her. Instead he walked back around the island and concentrated on putting up the remaining food. “I only wanted you to understand why I took it so personnel.”
“You never said anything.” She finally turned in her seat to face him. He looked up from across the counter then away again.
“Why would I say anything? It wasn’t exactly the most appropriate thing to be bringing up at the time.”
Chloe had to agree. But still, it bothered her that she hadn’t known. It bothered her even more that Oliver had just told her he had feelings for her and he was putting away food. “You can’t just tell me something like that and then expect it too just go away.”
Oliver carried on in silence until everything was put away. For what seemed like forever he stood staring at the stainless steel refrigerator, wishing that he could make out her refection in it so he didn’t have to turn around. Eventually he did. “I know that. But it’s been hanging over my head. I just wanted to explain myself.” Oliver sighed and rubbed his face. “I didn’t mean anything…”
There were so many thoughts running through her head at his words and not a one of them made sense. But for some reason it was his last statement that bothered her the most. “You can’t just say things like that and then tell me you didn’t mean anything.” There would never be one thing that would remain simple in her life, that she was sure of. She wished she could have disappeared just as easily as Clark did. She felt that old anger towards Clark that she had spend months trying to repress, to convince herself that he had his own destiny to find. She believed that, but she didn’t believe that he had the right to run off and leave her when she was suffering just as much as he was, if not more. “I’ve got to go.”
“Chloe wait.” But she was already halfway across the living room, heading towards the elevator. Oliver bounded forward and caught her wrist in his hand. “I’m sorry. I know I shouldn’t have. This is hardly the right time. I just needed to say it.”
“And what about me!” Chloe yelled at him and tried to push him away so that she could escape, but he held on. “You can’t just say that to me and then act like it’s nothing. I mean couldn’t you have just kept it to yourself. I’m sure you would have woken up two days from now and totally forgotten about it.”
“No, I wouldn’t have.” She blinked and tears slid down her cheeks. As usual nothing had gone by plan. It had been his hope that she would turn a blind eye to his revelation. Telling him simply that she was sorry and she didn’t return his feelings. He could have handled her simple rejection, in fact he welcomed it, what he hadn’t been prepared for was her pain.
“Yes you would have! Move onto the next flame of the week right?! But you had to go unload this on me! I mean why couldn’t you just get over it!?” She cried and screamed at him.
“Because I wasn’t getting over it!” Oliver grabbed her by her arms and yanked her towards him. “I’ve been waiting to get over it since before you got married!” He dug his fingers into the soft flesh of her arms and resisted the urge to shake her. “I didn’t want this! But it didn’t stop me from thinking that out of every man on this Earth that I was the only one that knew everything about you, that accepted it, that could have kept you safe, and cared about you! Isn’t that what you wanted from Clark?”
“Yes.” Chloe whispered and remembered her old love for Clark. He had been perfect. Everything she wanted. And Oliver was right; he had every quality that she had sought after in Clark. His face softened at her admission, but he didn’t release her. “You hurt me.” Chloe blurted out suddenly. Standing there before him so close, she felt the need to be truthful with him. “When you left. Everyone was gone. I knew you’d be mad, but I thought at least you would stay.”
Another slap in the face, but he deserved it. “I know I’m sorry. I was being an ass. I took it personally.”
“I didn’t mean to hurt anyone.” Chloe cried and dropped her head against his chest. The tears were flowing again, as they usually did when she started to recall her life three months before. “I tried saving everyone, and I wound up just hurting all of them.
“No.” Oliver released one of her arms and lifted her chin up with his hand. “Sometimes you can’t save everyone. Even when you try. That isn’t your fault.”
“But you were right.” Chloe sobbed. “If we would have just killed Davis-.”
“Stop. You can’t do that. No ifs.” Oliver brushed her hair from her face. She looked up at him with hopeful eyes. What he saw there made him sick; because he knew when she looked up at him like that he wanted her. Hadn’t that been what he had been telling himself the whole time? That he could have been the one to share her secrets, care for her, protect her. It was that look that he had wanted and she had no idea.
“I just want my life back. I don’t want to lose anyone else.”
“I’m not going anywhere.” He blurted out before he even considered what he was saying.
Suddenly she was praying he was serious. Here he was telling her that he cared about her and it didn’t even bother her anymore, it was just comforting. “You promise?”
It was that need in her eyes that broke him. It was so desperate. Something should have warned him away just then. Those situations where people are upset, their emotions are raw, that’s when bad things happen. “I wish you wouldn’t look at me like that.”
“Isn’t that what you wanted?” The hand that still held her tightened and she knew she had struck a cord.
“Not like this.” He could see her withdrawing from him, coming back to herself, but he wasn’t ready to let her go. She tried to pull away, but he held her close. Oliver lowered his head and rested his forehead against her own. “Don’t.” She stilled against him then eventually relaxed.
“You won’t leave?” Chloe asked, praying that the desperation that she felt didn’t show in her eyes.
“I can’t leave.” She lowered her head and for a brief moment he thought she would try to pull away from him again. But instead she grasped his shirt and pulled him closer, resting her forehead against his chest. Oliver wrapped his arms around her body, pulling her into his embrace. “Chloe…I-I.” He sighed and rested his cheek on the top of her head. He clamped down on the fatal words that almost escaped his mouth. He couldn’t say those three words, not yet. Later, when she was ready for him, then he’d tell her. “I won’t leave, I swear.”
Chloe sighed softly and relaxed against him. In the future she might want more, but at the moment that was all she needed.