Finding Her Heart 1/1
Title: Finding Her Heart 1/1
Summary: When it's all said and done, her hearts in a different place.
Rating: PG-13
Notes: This hit me after fretting over Conspiracy and taking a shower (I know you wanted to know that). Although I was mostly concerned about chlollie, this fic is more about Chloe, focusing on justifying not just her actions and Conspiracy, but in general, but giving her some kind of redemption. Because I think she came across a little hard to some people in Conspiracy, but I have a different opinion on that. But there are only slight spoilers for Conspiracy. Like itty bitty.
Note 2: Dedicating this to slytherinpunk so she feels obligated to post her Conspiracy follow up fic. haha
Chloe glanced down at the brunette woman, her hand shaking with the gun still gripped in it. The bullet continued to echo in her ears, even after it was shot, and her stomach continue to turn, threatening to spill its contents for a different reason then it had earlier that day.
Slowly, she lowered her hand, breathing deeply as she did so, and forced herself to stair a moment longer at the body on the floor.
Tess' eyes stared up at the ceiling, still in shock, but dead to the world.
For one brief moment Chloe felt herself falling apart, her world going to pieces, but then she raised her chin, looked down at Tess' still body, and stepped over her, walking away from a woman that was equally twisted as herself, and shutting the door behind her.
When she entered the watch tower it was all as she left it, all as it always had been. Sure there had been broken glass a couple of times, a few monitors that had taken a tumble, and an impromptu dive into a maze of firewalls at one point, but it always bounced back, it always remained constant. It had been her comfort, her shield to the world. It had allowed her to take a step back yet still remain connected. Yet now it served no purpose.
Plan C went into effect. Plan A had always been Clark's plan, the most ideal plan, the plan where no one got hurt. Plan B had been hers, including an arsenal of weapons, going behind Clark's back, and taking things into her own hands. In the end it took both of them.
She'd apologized to him when it was all over and done with. In the darkness of her watchtower, the result of the ultimate showdown, she had tried to explain it all to him. She told him her fears and concerns, admitting fully that she hadn't trusted him to make the right decision and also admitting that she hand't either.
Clark's heart had always been in the right place, and he would forgive her, but he couldn't understand her, not anymore. And her heart had been lost, it had been for a long time. They didn't fit together like they used to, two pieces of a puzzle that fit together perfectly, working side by side. Now he had a destiny, an honorable one, a great one, and she, well she was jaded, angry, and just a bit broken. Those two kinds of pieces didn't fit. You could only force them together for so long until one of them bent under the pressure. She was the one bending.
He'd left, promising that they would work it out. That in the future it would be better. That was him, always looking to the future, seeing the the positive, and that was what she expected form him, that was what she wanted to see in him always. Not her though. When he'd left she'd stood in the darkness, frowning at his retreating back. Zod's demise did nothing to ease her wary heart.
And she'd been right to be wary. Because as she tried to pull the tower back together the last kink fell into place. Tess. She'd contacted Chloe, haughtily admitting that she finally had her in the palm of her hand. Chloe denied it, but it had been the tone in Tess' voice that set Chloe on edge, sent a chill up her spine, she had been way to confident for Chloe's taste. So with her gun she went to her.
And less that an hour later Tess was dead, Chloe committing the final act. It seemed only appropriate for some reason as she had stared down at Tess' body. Something had seemed unfinished even when Zod and the Kandorians had been dealt with and Clark had come out victorious.
Tess stood before her when Chloe had arrived, listing all her misdeeds, her shady decisions, her lies, her lack of heart, saying with a smirk that Chloe wasn't that much different from her besides the fact that she hadn't murdered anyone yet. Then she had finished with the final blow, exposing the one secret Chloe had held so dear to the heart she had lost. The only thing that had managed to find her heart. It was because it was so close to her heart that she'd looked Tess squarely in the eye, with no fear.....
"You're right." Chloe admitted thoughtfully and nodded her head, pursing her lips in contemplation, and still not taking her hands from her jacket pockets. "We are similar, I never thought I would admit it."
Tess smirked, pleased with Chloe's admission and most likely reveling in that fact.
"But you're wrong about one thing. I do have a heart, and," she pulled the gun out of her pocket and pointed it at Tess, "that's why I'm murdering someone now."
So now Chloe was putting Plan C into action. Plan C had originally been her last plan of action, escape. The escape was supposed to be from the Kandorians, not from her decision to be a killer, not because of the other mistakes and accidents.
Now she was shutting it all down, wiping it clean. Sending what information Clark and Oliver may need to Oliver's computer, but even that she kept at a minimum. She'd need time to escape, and she wasn't going to give them the abilities to find her. She'd give them what they would need to continue on, to fight the good fight, but not to much. She'd carried them for to long, it was time for them to figure it out on their own.
Everything had been in place for months, Plan C went into effect with little trouble. The computers went down, dying, taking their last breath, reminding her eerily of Tess. It would seem it was her day to be a murderer. Not only had she killed Tess, but she was killing her tower, and she couldn't help but feel more guilt over that then the woman turning cold in her own home. Her tower had served her well. The humming pieces of equipment had done more good then the cold hearted woman lying dead in Lex Luther's mansion. And it had all been because of Jimmy, his gift to her.
She smiled at the thought of him, thanking him silently for giving her the opportunity to do the things she'd always wanted. He never really known her, yet somehow he'd given her the best gift ever, at least up until recently.
The monitors were dark now, and the lights dim. She stood in the center of the tower with only what she could carry. Two suitcases, one laptop, and her purse. She'd make her way. Oliver would be mad, but she lifted a few thousand from his checking account. She'd smirked as she transferred the money, thinking it was the least he could do.
They would be angry, they would hate her, they would blame her. And she was okay with that. Because she would be gone, it would be better to blame someone who wasn't involved in the fight anymore, blame the person that wasn't the hero. It was better that way that the fault rested with her. If it rested with Clark or Oliver they wouldn't have been able to deal with it, they wouldn't have been able to be the heros the world needed. She though, she could cross that line, and the people that needed saving would receive it.
And perhaps they had the right to blame her, she knew that now. Her actions weren't always honest, or on the side of good. She'd sacrificed to much, but someone had to, and when it came down to it, for the greater good, she was disposable, they were not.
Clark's heart was in the right place, and Oliver's was getting there, slowly but surely. She couldn't help but smile softly at the thought of the latter, the way he bounced back, become the better person, better then her. That's how it should have been. And for the few moments she had with him she was grateful. He had been able to help her forget the impending darkness that always seemed to be drawing nearer to her. And in the end she had to thank him for that.
But Chloe had done what she had to do. It was over. They could move on without her. Clark found his way, found Lois. Oliver found the hero in him, would continue making the Justice League better then it ever had been. She wasn't needed. At one point in her life she had feared that, not being needed. Now she welcomed it, because it was time for her to leave, not just because of Tess' untimely death, but because her heart was somewhere else. It wasn't in the fight any longer.
Glancing down she dropped her hand to her stomach, feeling the slight bulge and for the first time felt the fear that Tess and hammered into her. Tess hadn't known her well enough, even if she thought she did. Somehow she thought holding over Chloe's head the life growing inside of her would have gotten her things she wanted, it got her killed.
There were many things that Chloe had done to protect the world, but never had she killed anyone.
Yet she'd pulled the trigger, after so many years of telling herself she would never be that person. In the end it turned out there were more important things the best friends with a destiny, cousins she loved, father's she missed, friends who crossed the line with her and warmed her heart and made her feel beautiful, even if it was just for a few moments. There were more important things then saving Metropolis, saving the world. For those she swore she wouldn't become a murdered. Yet at that time she hadn't known that the baby growing inside of her would be the most important thing in her life. For that life she would pull the trigger, on anyone.
So they could hate her, they could damn her, it didn't matter.
Chloe turned away from the tower, feeling as if Jimmy was possibly giving her the go ahead, helping her move out the door, maybe not necessarily agreeing with her actions, but glad her heart had found a new home.
The doors closed behind her, and she felt a slight pang of loss, but did her best not to acknowledge it. Instead focusing on her new mission, one that would never be complete. It was unexpected, and not ideal. But it wasn't unwelcome, and she would do the best she could. Chloe had always done everything the best she could, exceeded at every challenge put in front of her. Motherhood was a challenge she hadn't anticipated, but she'd be damned if she wasn't going to do it right. Even if that meant leaving her life behind and putting a bullet in Tess to protect the life growing inside of her.